Xiaoen probably knew that meeting was going to be a train wreck. Xingyuan keeps breaking my heart. Girl deserves to be fully and wholly loved.

"Ah yes I still communicate with that group of homophobic assholes about you", very smooth...

Yeah, as much as I sympathise with Tianli she completely fumbled that conversation with the emotional delicacy of mining drill

And she wants to somehow make amends. This matters a lot, by my book. I hate the notion that when you grow up and become an adult you have to forget all the things that happened before because it was just unimportant children silliness. You know, like those assholes were saying in the chat? Thx god Tianli doesn't think like that.

I agree with you and I'm extremely glad that the author is making a point of conscientiously and resolutely rebuke that moronic notion. You find a lot (in comics or films or tv shows) characters who have been hurt or bullied when they were kids and still carry the scars as adults, and everyone tells them "What, you're still sore about that? You pathetic loser. It was just children's games. Get over it. Grow up." It makes me so mad. It's basic textbook stuff that repressing childhood traumas wrecks you as an adult and takes you straight to the divan of a psychiatrist.

You find a lot (in comics or films or tv shows) characters who have been hurt or bullied when they were kids and still carry the scars as adults, and everyone tells them "What, you're still sore about that? You pathetic loser. It was just children's games. Get over it. Grow up." It makes me so mad.

Lol I confess I have a weak spot for characters who were victimized as children and later, when they grow up and have the power and strength they lacked as kids, look for their harassers and exact a horrible revenge.

Too bad they're always the villain of the story. :P

last edited at Feb 25, 2024 1:26PM

I can buy the childhood friend feeling regret but still talking to the people that ruined her entire life, near disowned from her family, with heavy emotional scars still fresh as the day she got them and having the GALL to ask they be forgiven? I’m sorry but this girl need to hit the road , this became more about resolving their own guilt rather than actually trying to make amends

As much as she may say it, Xingyuan is certainly not already over her past, but at least she should be able to break free after all is said and done. It's honestly a good thing Tianli is here now to properly apologize and tell Xingyuan she was never in the wrong - as much as all her new friends may tell it to her, it's so easy for someone in her situation to dismiss the words of someone who wasn't there, but much harder when they come from the one she still feels she hurt, even when in reality she herself was hurt much more.

The transition of Xingyuan's phone falling in the past to her phone falling in the present was a really wonderful way to show that she still suffers from that horrible event. Sucks to see Xingyuan putting herself down to force herself to "get over" that past trauma.

"I don't want to be friends!" - peak Xiaoen, love a woman who knows what she wants. Also poor Bai lol.

Despite how hard she's trying, I find it hard to sympathize with Tianli's actions or accept that she should be anywhere near where Xingyuan is. She may regret her past choices, but that doesn't earn her forgiveness. She can't take back what she has done. Why should Xingyuan "get over it" and just act as if the past didn't happen, over a handful of regret and an apology ?

Tianli apologizing means she's not an awful person, but that's it. Some things you can't repair, and some errors you can't correct. She can't, or isn't trying to, bring anything positive to Xingyuan, especially not anything to balance out the damage she has caused. The only thing she brings is bad memories.

Xiaoen could very well surprise me, but I expect that she'll tell Xingyuan the only good thing Tianli's presence can bring - the acknowledgement that the people who hurt her were dumb assholes, and she should hate them, not herself.

And as for Tianli, she should just go back home and tell the people in her chat group that their denial of the suffering they caused is shameful. If she blames herself for what happened to Xingyuan, as she should, that's just something she'll have to live with. Maybe if she regrets it enough or wants to atone for her guilt, she could try to make sure no others suffer in the same way by participating in some form of anti-discrimination activities.

I don't dislike Tianli, in fact, I rather like a character who bears a scar, a mistake they acknowledge but feel they can't do anything about, and the guilt that goes with it. I just think she deserves it all.

And she wants to somehow make amends. This matters a lot, by my book. I hate the notion that when you grow up and become an adult you have to forget all the things that happened before because it was just unimportant children silliness. You know, like those assholes were saying in the chat? Thx god Tianli doesn't think like that.

Forget, or apologize and move on, is there any difference ? The damage is done. She wants to make amends, but what is she trying to do in that sense ? Reason with Xingyuan's father ? Give her the networking and connections she missed because of being ostracized ? She's not trying, and I suspect it would be pointless to because those tasks are impossible, there is no way to repair the damage she's done. Which is why in my mind, by attempting to apologize, she's not better than the other kids in the group chat. Except for one thing : she feels guilty. And once she'll understand that this guilt is something she deserves and must live with, she'll be "redeemed", for me.

last edited at Feb 25, 2024 6:46PM

Oh My God poor Xiangyuan didn't know the extent of Tianli's involvement with the bullying. She probably assumed Tianli was a fellow victim or something, she left school almost immediately after that and skipped town. It's possible Tianli showing up on town is actually the first time they've talked since before Tianli outed her, even. And Tianli for her part has been feeling guilty but not understanding why. She clearly hasn't grown up. She wants Xiangyuan to tell her she's okay but has no idea that that requires her taking actions to show she knows what happened was wrong and her role in it was wrong. And Xianyuan assumed Tianli had done all that off screen: this was her best friend, someone who kept her secret for years (right up until she didn't). Surely Tianli was a fellow victim of circumstance, right? Nope, she's still in the group chat with the bullies. She's learned nothing, she hasn't actually changed anymore then the rest of them have: "we're adults now so our childhood actions shouldn't matter anymore, right?" That indicates she doesn't regret what she did, she only regrets the consequences of it. No wonder finding out that hit poor Xiangyuan like getting punched in the gut. I'm glad Xiaoen noticed the reaction even though Xiangyuan attempted to hide it, because for her part she thinks being an adult is acting above the actions of children, even if it means ignoring her still unhealed wounds that Tianli just freshly opened once more.
Goddamn, what a powerful chapter.

Do we have any idea why Xingyuan’s family are considered “celebrities,” and the father is regarded negatively by the public?

last edited at Feb 25, 2024 7:43PM

Do we have any idea why Xingyuan’s family are considered “celebrities,” and the father is regarded negatively by the public?

By the sounds of it, they were very rich and influential for the town they lived in. I don't know if we ever learned what the family business was but it was enough for people to fully believe that if Xiangyuan got that study abroad slot it's because her dad basically gave it to her, regardless of the official rules.

I wouldn't call it text, there's some stuff we can interpret as potentially a romantic interest, but it could also be wanting to keep the attention of the cool popular girl who used to be very close to her and has left her behind. And those types of motivations can't explain all the elements in the chapter, like Xingyuan pulling ahead of her in the competition to get the study abroad scholarship Tianli's family was pushing her to get, and Wang, the guy she introduced to us as her crush, wanting Xiangyuan's contact info. She doesn't seem interested in him anymore, but that certainly doesn't mean she can't feel bitter about the thought of her best friend succeeding in yet another area where Tianli did not. And when she remembers Xiangyuan talking about not liking every girl, the image is not from that scene but rather Xiangyuan being popular with girls at school.

She specifically flashes back to Xingyuan saying "Just because I like girls doesn't mean I like every girl I come across." Right before she types a text to her saying "Why don't you care about me?" before hesitating and deleting it. Then she says the line "Why couldn't it be me?"

I mean, that's not just text, it's literally A text. I really don't see that as ambiguous at all. There might be other things going on, but I mean come on, if you're an author, you don't write those events in that sequence unless you're deliberately trying to draw a throughline.

If it weren't for the context I just mentioned, then yeah, maybe "Why couldn't it be me" could be about jealousy, but that context firmly establishes that she has romantic feelings on the brain, that she's upset that TianLi isn't regarding her as special, and that she's heartbroken.

That is unrequited love. I am very confident about this.

last edited at Feb 27, 2024 6:35AM

It's just harder for me to believe that Tianli would deliberately do such a terrible thing to Xiangyuan if she was in love with her, and hadn't even been explicitly rejected, and then stayed friends with the bullies that helped drive her love away. She definitely had some sort of monopolizing desire for Xiangyuan but it was one where she fully thought the ship has already sailed. This makes the study abroad scholarship especially seem like a very important motivator imo.

It's just harder for me to believe that Tianli would deliberately do such a terrible thing to Xiangyuan if she was in love with her, and hadn't even been explicitly rejected, and then stayed friends with the bullies that helped drive her love away. She definitely had some sort of monopolizing desire for Xiangyuan but it was one where she fully thought the ship has already sailed. This makes the study abroad scholarship especially seem like a very important motivator imo.

She might not have even been thinking about it as outing her, she might have been thinking of it as trying to chase Wang away from her. But even if that's not the case, when somebody is hurt, they lash out, and sometimes in the moment children (and I mean, that's the thing, they were children) don't understand the consequences of what they're doing.

It's just harder for me to believe that Tianli would deliberately do such a terrible thing to Xiangyuan if she was in love with her, and hadn't even been explicitly rejected, and then stayed friends with the bullies that helped drive her love away. She definitely had some sort of monopolizing desire for Xiangyuan but it was one where she fully thought the ship has already sailed. This makes the study abroad scholarship especially seem like a very important motivator imo.

She might not have even been thinking about it as outing her, she might have been thinking of it as trying to chase Wang away from her. But even if that's not the case, when somebody is hurt, they lash out, and sometimes in the moment children (and I mean, that's the thing, they were children) don't understand the consequences of what they're doing.

Although it hasn’t been referenced again since it was first said, it still seems relevant that when Xiangyuan first outed herself to Tianli, she told her, “it’s not that big a secret.” That would have helped Tianli rationalize her action as not being “such a terrible thing,” whatever its ultimate motivation.

It's just harder for me to believe that Tianli would deliberately do such a terrible thing to Xiangyuan if she was in love with her, and hadn't even been explicitly rejected, and then stayed friends with the bullies that helped drive her love away. She definitely had some sort of monopolizing desire for Xiangyuan but it was one where she fully thought the ship has already sailed. This makes the study abroad scholarship especially seem like a very important motivator imo.

She might not have even been thinking about it as outing her, she might have been thinking of it as trying to chase Wang away from her. But even if that's not the case, when somebody is hurt, they lash out, and sometimes in the moment children (and I mean, that's the thing, they were children) don't understand the consequences of what they're doing.

I think it's also that Tianli would not have been fully aware of her feelings back then (which that other comments argument seems to suggest). She didn't consciously consider Xianyuan a love interest because she was very confused about her connection to her and also upset at how easily she was discarded.

The Tianli of the past always seemed unsure of herself and questioning many things and it feels like that questioning was pretty broad. So my assumption was always that all these factors led to her lashing out in confusion and harming herself (like a pokemon, it's on my brain now!)

So while she might have been confused and hurt, she also likely wasn't literally thinking "I'm going to hurt my love," because she probably wasn't in a place to realize or accept that her feelings for Xingyuan were a bit different than what she showed for others around her. She has a strong desire to be with Xingyuan that I don't think is explained otherwise, coupled with the other evidence mentioned previously.

last edited at Feb 28, 2024 6:39AM

Well this chapter definitely tugs at the heart

Xiaoen taking care of her girlfriend physically and emotionally. Ugh, I love her.

Dayyym I learned a lot from this chapter.

I love this chapter. Tracy Hu is absolutely incredible at converying emotion and nuance with each panel and the dialogue? chefs kiss I love this chapter because no matter how silly and blase Mu Xiaoen acts she is still an adult, has nearly 30 years under her belt and that does change things--just not in the way a kid might expect. And being protective of her girl? God. This is why I get excited for every new chapter.

Thank you everyone who works on Lass to bring it to us! You make a huge difference in my day

last edited at Mar 3, 2024 8:08AM

To me this chapter reinforces the idea that, for Xingyuan, Tianli did have confused feelings, which were partially responsible for this mess--especially when she's framed as a kind of foil to Xiaoen, a romantic partner. I'd even say it was her, back then. She was already Xingyuan's confidant but wanted to be more, though she didn't know what more meant. She's still unsure of why she was and still is so concerned with Xingyuan's company. She knows her feelings for Xingyuan are unique compared to her feelings for others, yet can't fully put it together. It's unfortunate for her.

last edited at Mar 3, 2024 6:16PM

This was, quite honestly, perfect.

The "Well, now it's between me and her" was so goooood

last edited at Mar 3, 2024 2:09PM

Dayyym I learned a lot from this chapter.

Legit learning some life lessons out here

And she wants to somehow make amends. This matters a lot, by my book. I hate the notion that when you grow up and become an adult you have to forget all the things that happened before because it was just unimportant children silliness. You know, like those assholes were saying in the chat? Thx god Tianli doesn't think like that.

I agree with you and I'm extremely glad that the author is making a point of conscientiously and resolutely rebuke that moronic notion. You find a lot (in comics or films or tv shows) characters who have been hurt or bullied when they were kids and still carry the scars as adults, and everyone tells them "What, you're still sore about that? You pathetic loser. It was just children stuff. Get over it. Grow up." It makes me so mad. It's basic textbook that repressing childhood traumas wrecks you as an adult and takes you straight to the divan of a psychiatrist.

And you thought the author was making a point of it last chapter...