Miwa: There's no stoppin this toppin!!!!!!

Wow, Saeko, that's one straaaange hang-up you have there, girl...

I'm not sure where's the problem. Is she scared of orgasms?
When she talks about embarrassing looks & embarrassing noises, to me she seems to be describing a woman's reactions during an orgasm.

But itc... Saeko's never had an orgasm since the beginning of the manga?? Never in all her time dating Miwa??

Saeko pls get it together girl

saeko has some deep self hatred

and here i was about to ask..

when is saeko gonna let herself get fucked already?

guess next time.

Wow, Saeko, that's one straaaange hang-up you have there, girl...

I'm not sure where's the problem. Is she scared of orgasms?
When she talks about embarrassing looks & embarrassing noises, to me she seems to be describing a woman's reactions during an orgasm.

But itc... Saeko's never had an orgasm since the beginning of the manga?? Never in all her time dating Miwa??

yes, i believe she is afraid of..being what she is. a woman. i think shes attached to the tomboy role everyone gave to her when she was younger, and is at the point where she feels like she cant be a girl 'cause its weird since no one ever saw her as girly..hence why she wanted to avoid that conversation with her old classmates in that cafe(?) when they were talking about how she used to look so boyish.

i think.

Uh, suddenly I feel like I left out something important in my comment... A lot of times when people are deeply grossed out by being touched there is a past trauma or history of trauma. I don't know what the deal is with Saeko but that level of guardedness and disgust at being touched doesn't usually come from nowhere.

Well, even with all the trouble we can still clearly see ahead of them, this should put an end to any talk of this ending up the same way as the original one-shot, seeing how we've now been shown that nothing scares Saeko more than the thought of them breaking up.

Saeko is just shy and does not want to give that side of herself to anybody. She needs to trust to her lover completely before giving herself completely.

I don't think it's about trauma or self-hatred, or anything else negative.
She is just very protective of a woman inside her. It's the most hidden and most vulnerable part of her.
If she wants to let her inside woman go, she must feel safe with her partner.

Saeko is just precious and very sensible.

That cut to the alarm bell, hah.

Saeko is just shy and does not want to give that side of herself to anybody. She needs to trust to her lover completely before giving herself completely.

I don't think it's about trauma or self-hatred, or anything else negative.
She is just very protective of a woman inside her. It's the most hidden and most vulnerable part of her.
If she wants to let her inside woman go, she must feel safe with her partner.

Saeko is just precious and very sensible.

That could be but i feel like theres too much negativity connected to it for that to be the case. She seems to think of herself in that 'taking' position as disgusting.

Well, even with all the trouble we can still clearly see ahead of them, this should put an end to any talk of this ending up the same way as the original one-shot, seeing how we've now been shown that nothing scares Saeko more than the thought of them breaking up.

Apparently all people remember about the one-shot (actually a two-shot) is “they break up.”

Go back and read that story, and you’ll see that they do indeed break up—but why and how they break up is completely and utterly off the table for this story.

And they do indeed get together the same way in each story—they discover that the other one is gay, and Sae proposes that they date, because why not, they’re both gay. So they do.

But they break up in the first story because Sae gets randomly attracted to someone else, at which point they both realize that they were never that into each other in the first place, and the “relationship” wasn’t something they paid much attention to or really cared about. That minimal emotional investment in the relationship is what makes the “friends with benefits” sequel plausible.

This story, whatever anyone wants to say about it, is not one where the MCs don’t think much about their relationship or think that it doesn’t matter very much.

last edited at Aug 12, 2020 7:14AM

I've never seen a depiction of a stone in a comic before. I'm not in touch with the stone identity so idk if it's a good depiction but it's cool to see

I've never seen a depiction of a stone in a comic before. I'm not in touch with the stone identity so idk if it's a good depiction but it's cool to see

There are quite a few characters in Murcielago, I think.

Wow, Saeko, that's one straaaange hang-up you have there, girl...

I'm not sure where's the problem. Is she scared of orgasms?
When she talks about embarrassing looks & embarrassing noises, to me she seems to be describing a woman's reactions during an orgasm.

But itc... Saeko's never had an orgasm since the beginning of the manga?? Never in all her time dating Miwa??

We-e-ell mebbe she masturbates when she's alone? We have no way of knowing.

No but seriously she has a problem letting her lovers touch her feminine parts, that's for sure. Something about her sexual identity, like. I think Finding Jessica Lambert nailed it in her post.

Saeko is just shy and does not want to give that side of herself to anybody. She needs to trust to her lover completely before giving herself completely.

I don't think it's about trauma or self-hatred, or anything else negative.
She is just very protective of a woman inside her. It's the most hidden and most vulnerable part of her.
If she wants to let her inside woman go, she must feel safe with her partner.

Saeko is just precious and very sensible.

Given the strength of her averse reactions despite the intimacy in their relationship, I think it goes beyond "normal" behaviour. Add to that the fact that she increasingly seems to actually suffer discomfort because of it, I think an argument could be made that it is indeed pathological. I mean, the "nah man, I'm toooootally fine" undertones have been there for a good while.

It's pretty clear that she has some disturbed relationship with her own body, whether it is because of physical abuse she suffered or a negative image that was pushed onto her (and that she adopted) is yet to be discovered. It's not about how her body looks, she's been naked before Miwa before, so I wager it's discomfort about how her body reacts to stimuli. Maybe she "just" feels distressed when her body starts acting on its own and she's not in control anymore. Overcoming her aversion to her own body's inner workings should be a bit of a challenge, sharing it with her most trusted (?) person and making the experience that her body's reactions don't provoke a negative reaction from her partner can be a good step, if a bold one.

Whatever is up with Saeko, I'll be surprised if it's something as deep as abuse/trauma and even more pleasantly surprised if this author could do that topic justice. Conversely, I am just as sure that how Saeko feels is not meant to be a normal obstacle to overcome with self-love, given the extent to which she goes to hide it and her deep-seated loathing surrounding it. Only thing I'm relatively confident in believing is that how she feels is related to when she was in middle school, which isn't new information.

I recently followed this author on twitter and she posted a preview of like chapter 42 the other day and it's still all I can think about. Why did I read it???? I skipped 20 chapters and caught a glimpse of the future, and now my reading experience is cursed by this sword of Damocles...

Anyway, sure seems Saeko's got some baggage, huh. I hope she learns to confide in Miwa if nothing else.

saeko has some deep self hatred

Yeah. I think that too. Maybe not internalized homophobia as Saeko totally accepts she's gay but such insecurity is probably connected to what she'd done in the past.

last edited at Aug 13, 2020 10:01AM

Poor Saeko. She just can't give herself a break. Can't be cute or act lame or cry or get jealous or anything that ruins her cool self-image. It really is a shame that she can't bring herself to talk to Miwa about any of this. And Miwa...I have a real bad feeling about this reunion. I really hope she is over her old crush and this doesn't lead to some sorta compromising situation like cheating.

I can see a bit of myself in Saeko, unfortunately...

So... they were partly into one another at the start because of the things about them that're fucked up. Miwa appealed to Saeko because her clinginess took up so much space, Saeko could completely avoid ever opening up or being vulnerable.... but now Miwa wants to do things on her own. Saeko appealed to Miwa because she's so good at deflecting and making things copacetic and so could relieve Miwa's anxieties... but now Saeko wants to try to be open about serious stuff.

So they inevitably gotta break up, because they've been able to help one another be better people, which wrecks the dynamics that brought them together in the first place.

JUST TALK WITH YOUR WORDS OMG

I like the cracks were starting to see grow. Saeko and Miwa are absolutely incompatible not because they don't like each other but because they are honest with each other. We all know they're going to break up, but now can kinda see why after they broke up and were honest, that they were still friends

I usually think saeko is a childish moron but I vibe with her in this chapter much. Miwa think by top-ing, she can show how much she loves saeko, and saeko with such complex feeling toward herself (I will restrain myself from speculate on the reason), she thinks by faking orgasm she can keep the relationship.I think saeko has survive many hardship and have this defense mechanism of childish moron personality to prevent people reach to her, she maybe afraid of being too vulnerable around her partners, the sense of you go all in/ bare to with all your flaws and emotions somehow is hard to even think about with many. Ya failed sex is like a red flag a relationship going downhill but I deeply hope they can still be together. Totally rooted for them

last edited at Aug 13, 2020 11:37PM