Forum › Trying Out Marriage With My Female Friend discussion

Img_0215
joined Jul 29, 2017

The tendency of readers to divorce events depicted in manga from their overall context leads to a great deal of overreaction and people talking past one another.

A key component of the above description is "a systematic pattern of dominance and control." People in relationships mess up once in a while for a wide variety of reasons; that doesn't equate to a long-term abusive pattern. In fact, part of the long-term misunderstanding in the MC's relationship is an excessive caution about seeming to want to control or direct the other's behavior.

All of the things described above certainly are undesirable behaviors, but I think it's wild overstatement to call the relationship in this story as being on a "nonconsent path (rape kiss, slap)." We're talking about a single, very atypical incident under unusual circumstances, one that both people have apologized for and talked out to their satisfaction.

last edited at Aug 29, 2023 1:25PM

joined Mar 18, 2023

as far as i can see it, there seems to be a dissonance between the readers understanding of the severity of the slap, the authors intentions for the slap, and the characters actions in regards to the slap, which causes things to be out of order.

this results in how charitable you are towards shacky writing, determining how out of order this section of the story feels.

Img_0215
joined Jul 29, 2017

as far as i can see it, there seems to be a dissonance between the readers understanding of the severity of the slap, the authors intentions for the slap, and the characters actions in regards to the slap, which causes things to be out of order.

this results in how charitable you are towards shacky writing, determining how out of order this section of the story feels.

I think you’re basically right about the writing in regard to the slap. As people, including me, have been saying, it just seems like such a tonal lapse in comparison to the rest of the series, and a less overtly violent gesture (a shove, pushing away, etc.) most likely would have been just as effective in communicating the hurt feelings and misunderstandings in that situation.

And now here we are at the turning point of the series, where we should be celebrating the MCs finally communicating their feelings to one another, with some of us debating the possibility of future domestic violence in this otherwise very fluffy relationship. Insofar as that’s probably not the author’s intention, that’s certainly less than effective writing.

Runrin-icon-wrd-2
joined Feb 9, 2019

thanks everyone for remaining civil as well as being understanding, and kind to one another.


my take:

an unsolicited, non-consensual kiss is a form of violence and reacting by slapping the person and running away isn't really that surprising to me. if you've ever had a drunk person abruptly kiss you without consent (i have), it's extremely confusing and can be incredibly distressing. i don't think ruriko intended to hurt kurumi, but just to get away (to safety) as quickly as she could, and personally, i don't really see anything wrong with that.

even if ruriko does want to smooch in the future, the fact that it came suddenly and without her consent can be extremely scary, and in a moment of adrenaline, slapping kurumi might have even happened before she could make a conscious decision about it.

personally, i thought that these three chapters were fine (not great). it didn't really seem that out of character to me. kurumi getting a bit too drunk and being impulsive checks out. ruriko is clearly worried she will hold kurumi back if their relationship becomes more intimate and they commit to staying together long term. she seems worried that if they become intimate, she won't be able to stop herself from wanting to stay with kurumi forever. she's scared she will change kurumi's life in a way that kurumi grows to resent.

i'm happy they made progress, even if it was due to extremely unfortunate circumstances. hopefully they spend more time discussing what happened and setting appropriate boundaries and expectations going forward. (i'm going to assume this happens off camera regardless.)

last edited at Aug 29, 2023 7:38PM

543633_50
joined Sep 10, 2022

That's why there is a great possibility that Ruriko was assaulted in her past by someone, her reflexive slap says that something is repressed in her subconsciousness coming out as a reflex in a shape of a slap.

Based on what? What knowledge do you have in this area to suggest that with confidence? There's some large leaps being made here based on too little, unless there's other evidence from earlier in the manga that you think implies this idea? That or you believe anyone who reflexively slaps a person after having their personal space invaded is doing so as a result of past trauma/assault?

As people, including me, have been saying, it just seems like such a tonal lapse in comparison to the rest of the series, and a less overtly violent gesture (a shove, pushing away, etc.) most likely would have been just as effective in communicating the hurt feelings and misunderstandings in that situation.

A slap in a situation like that is not an uncommon response to that kind of sudden physical interaction (in real life and literature). It's also not much different than a push, or shove, etc. In this case it was reflexive. I don't think it took anything away from or affected the tone in a lingering way. In most cases that defensive slap is not treated as an issue and the one who caused the fear of safety or personal space isn't treated as the victim. It was definitely intended to be dramatic but be reasonably corrected after their apologies. I think for most, that will be fine. I guess it's an issue here (for some) but overall I'd be surprised if it were a major sticking point. So I'd disagree with questioning the writing.

last edited at Aug 30, 2023 12:20AM

joined Aug 4, 2023

Actually begging y'all to go outside and speak to a person just once

Absolute-territory-2.jpg
joined Mar 4, 2018

Nomura's knowing glare says it all.

Images
joined Dec 15, 2016

Awwwww my heart melted and my soul got cleansed that was soooooooo sweet I love this series so much.

last edited at Sep 1, 2023 2:00AM

joined Dec 28, 2016

That was a great chapter and the complainers can go somewhere else. People always try to drag out things they dislike rather than talking about what they enjoy on these forums. Less negativity and more positivity people.

I'm glad these goofy two finally talked to each other and resolved some things and a minor slap and other confusion seems to have been resolved. It did feel slightly rushed but it was still good.

Untitled102_20231004232707
joined Mar 26, 2014

OK well I kind of hated everything about this new chapter. From the reason why she slapped her to her apologizing about slapping her and to the joke first kiss. Nah, fam this ain't it

Untitled102_20231004232707
joined Mar 26, 2014

I would have been fine if they kissed this chapter. It's just that it shouldn't have been turned into a joke because it's trying to offset the dramatic or trying to offset the talk they just had a heart-to-heart. a
And then they turned it into a joke this wasn't exactly a romantic comedy to begin with anyway so why the hell was their First Kiss turned into a joke?? I just do not like any of that.

last edited at Sep 13, 2023 11:26PM

joined Feb 12, 2015

The Author is so good at slow burn and so bad at endings

Butt
joined Sep 26, 2020

Aw boo that's probably not enough time for Rui to get her own relationship with Inaho going. Just like Subaru in Crescent Moon she's going to be consigned to yuri quantum indeterminacy forever…

Old%20man%20prof
joined Oct 25, 2022

The end is nigh!

https://www.animenewsnetwork.com/news/2023-09-18/shio-usui-i-married-my-female-friend-manga-ends-on-october-18/.202471

Aw, that's a shame. I could have continued watching the pair's slice of life hijinks for good while more.

When Doughnuts Under a Crescent Moon ended, this was already running, so they certainly deserve a bit of a break, lol. Afaik Shio Usui doesn't have another work lined up yet, but hopefully it won't be too long a wait. I really like their style.

Jpeg_20190202_220408
joined Mar 21, 2019

I love them

1000059802
joined Dec 10, 2022

GOOD! GOD! This is exactly the wholesomeness I needed from this series. I'm so looking forward to their formal wedding HHHNNN

Also the random spanking caught me off guard and gave me whiplash a lil bit lol

543633_50
joined Sep 10, 2022

She's slapping ass and proposing to her wife. Doing it all. Fun, chill series. She's good at those.

last edited at Oct 11, 2023 7:25AM

Yvo0lylulbwzixjblrxj
joined May 12, 2020

I loved their story. Also her editor(?) was like: "My God. These bitches be gay! Good for them"

1453e55cc3ab545974cae651c20afaf3
joined May 28, 2021

I would have taken a lot more of that wholesomeness :( Kurumi being all romantic and caring is so damn adorable.

Khancrop
joined Feb 18, 2013

What a great chapter. I love seeing Kurumi who finally understands she's in love and how she's changed from that simple epiphany.

Internet_lied
joined Jul 15, 2016

She's slapping ass and proposing to her wife.

Living the life.

_warningm_edited
joined Jan 15, 2021

I'm not jealous of Ruriko. I'm not jealous of Ruriko. Just because she got a slap on the ass and a kiss on the forehead before eating a bowl of stew, then having her wife suggest an actual wedding ceremony. I'm not jealous of Ruriko. NOT! AT! ALL!!!!

Webp.net-resizeimage%20(1)
joined Apr 19, 2012

sobbing... so cute!!!!!!! This was the sweetest chapter so far. Requited feelings are the best sob sob

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