Forum › Trying Out Marriage With My Female Friend discussion

4b70c0a3-5927-441e-942b-53e31052f7f7
joined Mar 3, 2023

LETS GOOO!

joined Jan 3, 2020

Kissing without consent is just as real domestic abuse as the slap was, especially when you consider context here. The alternative is proceeding down the same road of thought that some people use to dismiss some kinds of sexual assaults. Physical pain is not the defining characteristic of abuse. Somebody touching you inappropriately can do so very lightly and cause zero overt physical pain. That doesn't remotely make it okay.

"I love you but I hope you don't love me back... because it would mess up your HOBBIES!"

Wut.

Yeah that was a little wild.

last edited at Aug 26, 2023 2:30AM

10374935_1517148091919036_8454058064875083431_n
joined Apr 7, 2021

This user has been banned for one day. Do not belittle others' understanding of abusive behavior.

last edited at Aug 25, 2023 9:14PM by runrin

Runrin-icon-wrd-2
joined Feb 9, 2019

i'm not fucking around here. i don't care what you think, do not dismiss what another user thinks of as abuse or you will be banned. if you can't be accepting, just don't post in this thread. the next ban will not be for just one day.

Dynasty%20icon
joined Feb 16, 2021

This user has been banned for 30 days. Do not belittle others' understanding of abusive behavior.

last edited at Aug 25, 2023 9:20PM by runrin

smirkingtyrant
Dog%20me
joined Oct 3, 2018

I didn't know people could get banned on here for differing opinions, kinda lame

Runrin-icon-wrd-2
joined Feb 9, 2019

people are being banned for belittling other users about something extremely personal. not for having different opinions. you can express a difference of opinion without dismissing someone else. if you don't think you can do that you should avoid the topic or not post in this thread.

last edited at Aug 25, 2023 9:42PM

1549976194434
joined Mar 25, 2019

Dynasty readers and taking things way too seriously. Name a better duo.

Glass%20drum
joined Jan 3, 2019

I didn't like the slap when it happened, especially as this artist's work is usually so unchallenging and comfortable which is appealing for its own reasons. The slap really didn't match the rest of the tone of the series, imo, and a similar dynamic could have been explored without the violent reaction.

As for whether it's abuse or not, given the previous context of their relationship and how confusing it has been for Ruriko specifically, I can understand her having a startled reaction to an unexpected kiss, especially if she was unsure of Kurumi's intentions. That doesn't make the slap right or okay of course but things happen, Ruriko felt guilt and apologised and Kurumi accepted it. I think that should resolve it, at least in the context of a manga.

It's up to the person who was hurt to decide whether a behaviour crosses a line or not, ultimately, and clearly Kurumi doesn't think this crossed a line enough to worry about or dwell on at this very moment, and I think that's okay. Maybe the special was a subtle way to let us know that Kurumi is at least informed of what DV is, and if Ruriko were to hypothetically become violent again, that Kurumi would know what that means and what to do.

But I also think it's okay for people to feel that Ruriko crossed a line in a way that, if they were in a relationship with her, would be unforgivable for them personally - especially if they've been victimised previously and this event acts as a red flag for them enough to end a relationship out of self preservation. It's also okay to have conflicted feelings and to not really know where you stand too, and that's kind of where I'm at personally.

I'm interested to see where things will go from here, whether this arc will be explored more or whether that will be the end of it and we move on, or whether it's something that will be revisited at some point. I also really love this artist's way of drawing eyes and mouths, there's something slightly derpy and soft about them that just looks adorable to me.

Avatar2000
joined Jun 10, 2023

"I love you but I hope you don't love me back... because it would mess up your HOBBIES!"

Wut.

That killed my suspension of disbelief.

I had never realized that Ruriko was an ahoko. They should have given her an ahoge or something.

joined Jan 3, 2020

I didn't like the slap when it happened, especially as this artist's work is usually so unchallenging and comfortable which is appealing for its own reasons. The slap really didn't match the rest of the tone of the series, imo, and a similar dynamic could have been explored without the violent reaction.

Yeah. This has sort of been an unfortunate trend in Japanese manga (and Eastern media in general) for a long time. They tend to use DV and non-consentual (or dubiously consensual) interactions as plot or character development more than us Western audiences would like.

It's up to the person who was hurt to decide whether a behaviour crosses a line or not, ultimately, and clearly Kurumi doesn't think this crossed a line enough to worry about or dwell on at this very moment, and I think that's okay. Maybe the special was a subtle way to let us know that Kurumi is at least informed of what DV is, and if Ruriko were to hypothetically become violent again, that Kurumi would know what that means and what to do.

Honestly, showing the DV special on television is already 10x more self-aware than most manga. I personally interpreted it from the perspective that Kurumi thought -her- actions were out of line in the context of DV (hence the follow-up comment about messing up), but I can definitely see the argument that it was meant the other way too.

But I also think it's okay for people to feel that Ruriko crossed a line in a way that, if they were in a relationship with her, would be unforgivable for them personally - especially if they've been victimised previously and this event acts as a red flag for them enough to end a relationship out of self preservation. It's also okay to have conflicted feelings and to not really know where you stand too, and that's kind of where I'm at personally.

Of course, that's everyone's right - Kurumi's too. She would be totally entitled to the perspective that "a drunken kiss between friends escalating into a full-handed slap is a red flag I can't accept because it shows a propensity to act to situations with physical violence."

I personally think that drinking to the level you lose complete control of your senses and begin to act intimately towards someone else without consent warrants physical actions to stop your behavior. A slap is beyond what I think is completely justified as an initial response (I think pushing her away strongly would have been best to start), but I can understand why Ruriko did it.

Edit: And I'm not beyond bias from personal experiences in this area either, since I've had some highly negative interactions with alcoholic individuals in my life. That's likely a part of why I'm willing to be more charitable to Ruriko than some.

I'm interested to see where things will go from here, whether this arc will be explored more or whether that will be the end of it and we move on, or whether it's something that will be revisited at some point. I also really love this artist's way of drawing eyes and mouths, there's something slightly derpy and soft about them that just looks adorable to me.

I think this will probably be the end of it, given that they both reflected on it and both apologized for their parts in it (even if very briefly). It's not an ideal resolution, but it's a heck of a lot better than other Eastern media.

last edited at Aug 26, 2023 2:56AM

joined Sep 7, 2021

Welp, that was resolved rather, unfussed like in the end. Idk, I guess I just thought that there would be more of a point to their standoffishness but there was point enough ig. Oh well, ig "alls well, that ends well." On that front at least.

Kobayashismile
joined Apr 7, 2021

let's fucking goooooooooo

Screenshot%202024-04-26%20233149
joined Jan 17, 2021

Now that's done. It's time for the lubby dubby luv. Mah heart, this is wholesome.

Sin%20t%c3%adtulo-min
joined Sep 28, 2011

OH FUCKING FINALLY, GOF DAMN IT YOU LESBIANS WERE KILLING ME HERE

joined Aug 29, 2016

First of all, I’m with the Staff member about others trying to correct others way of thinking and what “should be” a certain definition.

Why are people getting so offended by what Staff is doing? It’s pretty logical and they’re keeping safe space so good on them. Hah. Anyways.

This knee jerk reaction thing, oh believe me if back in high school, this girl Helen who I had sexual attraction towards (cause we were childhood friends) actually said she liked me or did anything to me beyond her already newfound clinginess and strange behavior, I would’ve pushed her away or ran away. Or immediately asked what’s wrong, like she’s hiding something. I mean that’s what happened when something weird at prom happened. Like I was out as gay at school. So people knew. But Helen never showed any signs of intimacy or emotional vulnerability to anyone before. I thought something was wrong and I kept pushing for her to open up. Essentially that’s what Ruriko did. “Something is wrong” she’s not gonna just accept it. You can even see from her exaggerated fainting like no matter how mutual it feels now, do y’all not understand what happens to a person from walking so close along a line, having to hide and suppress and yet being so close to having your heart revealed by natural circumstance?

joined Aug 29, 2016

Welp, that was resolved rather, unfussed like in the end. Idk, I guess I just thought that there would be more of a point to their standoffishness but there was point enough ig. Oh well, ig "alls well, that ends well." On that front at least.

There was already 2 chapters of it so. . . . And there was enough development imo. Especially being able to build off of the foundation they’ve laid. Authors know that people don’t always like drama drawn out over long periods. Especially over mutual things. That’s why Useless Princess took like 5 or more chapters, as there wasn’t exactly mutual feelings there. I’d say this and Crescent Moon and Donuts is beyond accurate without a doubt. Y’all should look up “queer platonic” and “squish”.

last edited at Aug 26, 2023 10:17AM

Patreon_post_image-42_50_1_50
joined Sep 10, 2022

Welp, that was resolved rather, unfussed like in the end. Idk, I guess I just thought that there would be more of a point to their standoffishness but there was point enough ig. Oh well, ig "alls well, that ends well." On that front at least.

There was already 2 chapters of it so. . . . And there was enough development imo. Especially being able to build off of the foundation they’ve laid. Authors know that people don’t always like drama drawn out over long periods. Especially over mutual things. That’s why Useless Princess took like 5 or more chapters, as there wasn’t exactly mutual feelings there. I’d say this and Crescent Moon and Donuts is beyond accurate without a doubt. Y’all should look up “queer platonic” and “squish”.

Yeah, after months of romantic tension they had a weird moment spurred by long brewing, confused emotions. They knew they made mistakes. They talked. They apologized. They moved on. There's nothing about them that implies some sort of pattern (actually the opposite). If the story discussed this more I'd think it were odd. Now I'm just interested in how they act as a "real" married couple.

last edited at Aug 26, 2023 11:26AM

Tron-legacy
joined Dec 11, 2017

just a quick reminder:

its okay to discuss the manga, but please remember domestic violence and abuse is a topic that should be handled with care. you can disagree with one another but keep it civil and try to understand that other people may experience these things differently from you.

be kind to one another or i will reprimand you.

if anyone makes you feel uncomfortable or attacked, feel free to reach out to me via dm on discord. you can find me on the dynasty server.

I definitely could have been a little nicer in my last post, so I apologize if my tone got anyone's hackles up. I stand by my reasoning, but I'll try harder to resist my natural snark.

Tron-legacy
joined Dec 11, 2017

"I love you but I hope you don't love me back... because it would mess up your HOBBIES!"

Wut.

I think that's a little reductive.

It's not actually that uncommon for someone with a one-sided crush to have self esteem issues, and it's not unusual for people with esteem issues to wonder if they're good enough for their crush, or even if they'd drag them down. Less "I hope you don't love me back because it would mess up your hobbies" and more "I'm afraid that if I ask for more from our relationship you'll end up unhappy or resentful of me."

Ea068ec8502133f96ff1a1123008a767
joined Mar 26, 2020

FINALLY!!1

Fetish%20notebook%20lsmol
joined May 20, 2013

Ch 30: #Gottem

joined Jul 23, 2019

"I'm afraid that if I ask for more from our relationship you'll end up unhappy or resentful of me."

"But I'm sure I can slap the shit out of you and that won't make you in the least unhappy or resentful of me."

Pfp%20copy
joined Dec 10, 2022

God damn Ruriko you cheeky bastard XD

This was good, kinda anticlimatic tho ngl. I guess I was expecting something a little more dramatic, but I don't really mind the sudden de-escalation. I prefer it WAY more than things getting dragged out to no end like Kase-san.

Also the last panel made me laugh hahah

(y)
joined Jan 9, 2017

This chapter is clearly meant to be sweet and all, but I just can't link her explanation to her slap, I can only make sense of it by concluding that it's a rationalisation

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