Wow this had a nice vibe going until it got completely ruined lmao
The fact that the guy was IN the character introductions was a big red flag in hindsight I guess...
Male characters in Yuri can sometimes be good friends and/or provide interesting narrative elements, but I dislike the inclusion of the guy here. Him discovering them at the end, a lot of the dialogue being about jealousy because one of the girls keeps looking at him, he feels weirdly central to the story for no good reason. Plus they knew he was outside, and it was so weirdly obvious to me that he'd discover them.
Couldn't have said it better myself. I'm fine with stories that are bisexual (cuz I am) but this one sure isn't - it definitely swings more to the male-gazy fetisihization side. I kinda hated it.
It felt a little too much like he was the audience self-insert character, I think, probably because he was weirdly central to the narrative despite us knowing literally nothing about him. I think a version of this story even with him could've worked but it wasn't executed very well.
Yeah, and I hate male self-inserts in "yuri" with all the fucking fiber of my being - you know the specific ones I'm talking about. It's hard not to see them as pandering (aka fetishizing). I'm okay with there being an "observer" in a story that readers can relate to, but I prefer when they're fellow himejoshis or at least aroace - and not straight men who frankly do not belong there. If you're a straight man who enjoys yuri that's fine, but like, I don't think they need a self-insert in stories that are not about them.