I completely agree with this, it baffles me how Americans think that they will bring people to like queerness or to be comfortable around queer people when they insult and kick out anyone who says something they remotely don't like, you only give fuel to bigots to talk shit about it, trying to talk to people without being patronizing or insulting seems impossible for the American folk.
Usually they're more concerned with avoiding people they see as intolerant, rather than trying to change what they see as a personality flaw in another person. Things may be different if that intolerant person apologizes and makes the first step in learning more. At least this would make a difference for many, though you won't see them well represented on social media which boosts extreme opinions.
I recently moved to a city where leftists (in the US sense, not like marxists) reign supreme. It's interesting to see the extent people never expect to be talking to, for instance, someone like a Trump voter or a conservative Christian. It's like they see those people as being from a rival nation that seeks to harm them and the people they care about. You would see something similar as you get into more isolated rural places in the US where eg gay or non-christian people are treated with similar suspicion, though it can be hard to distinguish that from regular rural distrust of outsiders, or in conservative subcommunities in southern cities. If the outsider behaves ethically and has a good reputation (eg, engaging in social service for the local community) then that may make a difference for many conservatives, at least on an individual level.
US society is becoming increasingly ideologically delineated like this. When I was a child, the refrain used to be to avoid talking about politics, but now it's to avoid talking to people with the wrong politics. I'm not sure what to do about it. Of course, I don't want the government to jail me either, so I'm also glad there are people who care about what's happening.
last edited at Apr 29, 2025 7:38AM