Hello, translator here.
I made a couple changes, notably on page 17 and 19, so the implied meanings would be clearer, I hope.
Aw, I liked "concubinage." But then, I'm the kind of person who likes looking up words, and while I knew what the term meant generally, I wasn't completely sure how it might fit this situation. So that was fun. But by definition people like me are not the target audience for translations, and your revision is fully justified.
"Concubinage" seems to be a holdover from the days when it was literally illegal for two persons to live together and have sex without (as they used to say) "the authority of law or of legal marriage." (I believe it's still on the books as a crime in some places, even though it was rarely enforced even back in the day.)
So the original term actually has the snarky connotation of transgression that Hatomori was going for, but I doubt if one English speaker in ten would get that.
last edited at Oct 29, 2021 11:02AM