I feel like the term high maintenance is now used in some cases to tone down some toxic behavior, as if it was just character trait, like being an extravert for example. Receiving 13 texts in a few minutes, with that kind of questions is not being high maintenance. This is borderline manipulative and shows some serious attachment issues/jealousy from the girlfriend...

I feel like the term high maintenance is now used in some cases to tone down some toxic behavior, as if it was just character trait, like being an extravert for example. Receiving 13 texts in a few minutes, with that kind of questions is not being high maintenance. This is borderline manipulative and shows some serious attachment issues/jealousy from the girlfriend...

High maintenance, attachment issues, and toxicity are all parts of the same spectrum IMO. There is a healthy way to deal with attachment issues (key: consistency), and there are healthy ways to ask for and provide a lot of attention to your partner (key: boundaries). But of course, there are also very unhealthy ways, and where one becomes the other is a very subjective perception.

I feel like the term high maintenance is now used in some cases to tone down some toxic behavior, as if it was just character trait, like being an extravert for example. Receiving 13 texts in a few minutes, with that kind of questions is not being high maintenance. This is borderline manipulative and shows some serious attachment issues/jealousy from the girlfriend...

High maintenance, attachment issues, and toxicity are all parts of the same spectrum IMO. There is a healthy way to deal with attachment issues (key: consistency), and there are healthy ways to ask for and provide a lot of attention to your partner (key: boundaries). But of course, there are also very unhealthy ways, and where one becomes the other is a very subjective perception.

You are not wrong, but I've seen too many people justifying their shitty behavior under the umbrella of high maintenance, as if it was a "neutral" trait of character. To be fair, you can be high maintenance without being toxic or having attachement issues. But in many cases, this is just used to hide toxic behaviors behind a less negatively associated term.

Edit: sorry, I got a bit too worked up, I just don't like this term and how it is used lol

last edited at Aug 10, 2026 9:51AM

I feel like the term high maintenance is now used in some cases to tone down some toxic behavior, as if it was just character trait, like being an extravert for example. Receiving 13 texts in a few minutes, with that kind of questions is not being high maintenance. This is borderline manipulative and shows some serious attachment issues/jealousy from the girlfriend...

High maintenance, attachment issues, and toxicity are all parts of the same spectrum IMO. There is a healthy way to deal with attachment issues (key: consistency), and there are healthy ways to ask for and provide a lot of attention to your partner (key: boundaries). But of course, there are also very unhealthy ways, and where one becomes the other is a very subjective perception.

You are not wrong, but I've seen too many people justifying their shitty behavior under the umbrella of high maintenance, as if it was a "neutral" trait of character. To be fair, you can be high maintenance without being toxic or having attachement issues. But in many cases, this is just used to hide toxic behaviors behind a less negatively associated term.

Edit: sorry, I got a bit too worked up, I just don't like this term and how it is used lol

I think you have a point, but I'd also say the opposite can be true too, where people are very willing to call something toxic when they're really just not compatible.

I think texting that much and expecting answers especially when someone is working is toxic, but some people don't mind. If Mizuki is a university student, since I think we still don't know her age, then she has loads of free time and this might be a normal way she texts with friends. Sometimes it can just be ignorance, in which case high maintenance would work better than toxic. Or rather, I'd prefer to say I know she is high maintenance, she might also be toxic, let's see how the relationship moves forward.

But also I'd say high maintenance isn't usually used as a neutral trait. It's neutral to bad, I've never seen anyone use it as a positive.

The classic formula of
I love her but she loves her , so I'm dating the other girl instead but I don't love her...
V.v

last edited at Aug 11, 2026 9:05PM

"I've never dragged out feelings for an ex before. So I should be able to switch gears smoothly this time too...right?"
Girl, you have no idea how wrong you are...

One of my recent favourites to read, and most of that is thanks to the main character. Ren is introspective, honest, and willing to take a new approach. I mean, the speedrun from Googling “lesbian” to having sex in one day was impressive.

I love the honesty in how Ren reflects on her life before and after meeting Sui-chan. She realises that everyone is a little biased when they're in love. Ren initially feels that her boyfriends were pushing their tastes onto her, but eventually realises that they simply wanted to share the things they liked with her. She only comes to this realisation after Sui does the same thing.

It makes me wonder if Mitsuki is the girl Sui is after. As other users have noticed, Mitsuki's dating profile lists the same interests as Sui—visiting shrines and collecting shrine stamps. It also makes me wonder if Ren's recommendation to her colleague that “it's nicer to be chased after rather than be the one doing the chasing” will come back to bite her. Technically, she gave up chasing Sui and is now in a relationship with a girl who likes her. Or will Ren end up being that “person that I slept with once, took me years to mend my feelings, and that person is now back” with the tongue-pierced girl?

Very well written. If there's any way to support this manga, I'd be happy to.