Nah, Girl, you are neither aromantic nor asexual. What you are has a name, and it's called a late bloomer.

Actually, this is exactly why you shouldn't try to diagnose yourself, but rather let a doctor/specialist do it. Because be it medicine or psychology, most people will get it wrong. Also asexual people are rare. Most people have some kind of sex drive, sometimes weak, sometimes suppressed, but nothing at all is just very rare. Thinking that you are asexual, without even trying to date is... well you're likely mistaken.

"Late bloomer" my ass, go be acephobic elsewhere. She's demi, likely demiromantic asexual. Acespec people are more common than you think, and saying

Thinking that you are asexual, without even trying to date is... well you're likely mistaken.

is like saying "Thinking that you are gay without even trying to date the opposite gender is... well you're likely mistaken"

Alos need to stop acting like they're the default and that acespecs need to "prove it", it's no different than cishets doing it to other queer people.

Rather than calling 'em acephobic, you should just try to kindly explain to them why they're wrong and educate 'em. Chances are, they are not a bigot but just ignorant, and could just use some educating on the subject. It's far better than jumping to conclusions and taking a more hostile approach, honestly.

First time seeing demisexual/romantic representation in yuri or even manga, kinda shocked (in a good way) bc it's even a queer demi person <3. Some manga recommendations regarding that topic?

God it's actually so refreshing to see more aro/ace rep in like anything, let alone in a manga though where the only other manga I think I've seen have a character on the ace spectrum was Our Dreams At Dusk(might me wrong but still lotta great LGBTQ+ rep regardless), which I might add is a wonderful manga that more people should check out. Still just makes me sad that people have to try to play armchair psychologist and try and diagnose aro/ace people as if they asked for it. Anyway should anybody wanna hear more about the aro/ace experience highly recommend Jaiden Animations on YouTube, she just released a video talking about her journey to discovering her aro/ace identity, beautiful video.

First time seeing demisexual/romantic representation in yuri or even manga, kinda shocked (in a good way) bc it's even a queer demi person <3. Some manga recommendations regarding that topic?

My personal favorite is Bloom into You actually. Yuu is perfect demi rep and I felt very seen~

I was afraid this would go down a weird route but thankfully it didn't.

Also, since we're bringing this up anyway, I think I might be demiromantic (but not demisexual, definitely NOT demisexual). I feel sexual attraction very easily but I have to know the person for a long time (even if only through the internet) before I feel romantic attraction.

I get it. There are many ways to have an intimate relationship. However a romance without sexual tension, is like chili without spice. You take a spoonful and brace for that mouth burning bite. And when you don't get it, you feel disappointed and unfulfilled.
I know it might be my inner cis straight male talking, but I keep hoping that these two will waken their dormant sexualies and have a "proper" love. This chapter pretty much killed that hope. I know I should be okay with it. There are real people who are asexual, and aromantic. They deserve their stories told, as well. However it just leaves me feeling unsatisfied. Like a bottle rocket that doesn't have a report. It goes up with a whistle, but it leaves you waiting for a bang that will never come.

Edit: Or a campfire you're trying to light, that smolders but just won't catch. You get a lot of smoke, just no fire.

last edited at Mar 22, 2022 12:56AM

I was afraid this would go down a weird route but thankfully it didn't.

Also, since we're bringing this up anyway, I think I might be demiromantic (but not demisexual, definitely NOT demisexual). I feel sexual attraction very easily but I have to know the person for a long time (even if only through the internet) before I feel romantic attraction.

Tbh, I think everyone is like that. Love, itself, is something that only develops over time, bonding with someone. You might be thinking of infatuation, which is different from love.

Rather than calling 'em acephobic, you should just try to kindly explain to them why they're wrong and educate 'em. Chances are, they are not a bigot but just ignorant, and could just use some educating on the subject. It's far better than jumping to conclusions and taking a more hostile approach, honestly.

yeah say it louder!!

Gotta say I was surprised by how supportive Rio was, not so surprised about the little sister though.

I am glad that this manga covered more spectrum of LGBTQ more than Yuri and Yaoi.

Nah, Girl, you are neither aromantic nor asexual. What you are has a name, and it's called a late bloomer.

Actually, this is exactly why you shouldn't try to diagnose yourself, but rather let a doctor/specialist do it. Because be it medicine or psychology, most people will get it wrong. Also asexual people are rare. Most people have some kind of sex drive, sometimes weak, sometimes suppressed, but nothing at all is just very rare. Thinking that you are asexual, without even trying to date is... well you're likely mistaken.

"Late bloomer" my ass, go be acephobic elsewhere. She's demi, likely demiromantic asexual. Acespec people are more common than you think, and saying

Being "asexual" is not a spectrum, at least that's not how most people use it. Its the very end of the spectrum, where sexual orientation is not even applicable. Otherwise you could just call them, straight, gay, bi or whatever. And like most edge cases they are very rare.

Thinking that you are asexual, without even trying to date is... well you're likely mistaken.

is like saying "Thinking that you are gay without even trying to date the opposite gender is... well you're likely mistaken"

Well, actually yes. I don't think you can completely rule out liking a gender without actually making an honest effort. Trying to date someone isn't the only way, its just the way I thought most applicable to Matoi. She could also just download a wide range of porn, and see what tickles her fancy - but I think that Matoi wouldn't do that.

Alos need to stop acting like they're the default and that acespecs need to "prove it", it's no different than cishets doing it to other queer people.

I don't expect anyone to prove anything, as I don't usually care how someone "identifies". But if someone - for the argument's sake - would want to know if a label fits her, before adopting it, then yes, I'd suggest going from the more probable options to the less probable ones.

But the reason I don't think Matoi is asexual, is because the story is perfectly set up for her to be wrong. The main conflict for Matoi is that she struggles to understand others or herself. From a narrative standpoint, she needs to overcome this conflict by learning about herself, and the people around her. And that works the best, when what she thinks she knows about herself is completely wrong. If she was right from the start, then there wouldn't be much left to learn for her, would it?

last edited at Mar 22, 2022 8:23AM

gonna be honest here the people calling this an infodump have just the singularly lowest standards I've ever seen this is like 10 sentences at most and it's all relevant to their conversation, that's not an infodump that's a realistic conversation when you're queer and don't quite know how yet.

I may come off a little rude here but like, come on

Well, I suppose you have some kind of rigid standard for what counts as an “infodump,” but it’s certainly the case that a series which has been notable for a lot of repressed thoughts and emotions and only the occasional direct answer to a direct question suddenly generated a new character who starts talking like a Public Service Announcement and even brings in two additional “experts” to lecture on asexuality and aromanticism.

Call it “realistic” to your heart’s content, but that kind of direct explanatory discourse is a swerve from how this series has previously been operating.

But the reason I don't think Matoi is asexual, is because the story is perfectly set up for her to be wrong. The main conflict for Matoi is that she struggles to understand others or herself. From a narrative standpoint, she needs to overcome this conflict by learning about herself, and the people around her. And that works the best, when what she thinks she knows about herself is completely wrong. If she was right from the start, then there wouldn't be much left to learn for her, would it?

This actually... Sounds really logic to me, these type of stories tend to show that you just "dont know until you try" and honestly i would be surprised if this isnt the case not like i would dislike it either

last edited at Mar 24, 2022 4:52PM

2 things:

#1: OUCH that sht must have hurt

#2: i cant wait to see the next ch

All the setup seems kind of odd if they're just going to hand wave away Yuriko's disinterest in relationships as because of the skin grafts. What's the play here, Renmei?

I liked this chapter in some aspects, but the tropes slightly took me out of it. I can't even begin to count the number of romance stories I've read where a rainstorm triggers them sheltering in one character's house, which is followed by bathing drama. Then the author combined in the ever-prevalent "character faints in bathtub" trope, which has always been a strange one (clearly the Japanese all bathe in temperatures at the edge of human endurance).

As for the ongoing debate/discussion around romantic/sexual identification terminology, it's very complicated, obviously. Attempts to simplify it inevitably remove complexity and exclude at least someone somewhere. (Which I'm about to do, so I appreciate the irony.)

An analogy I like to use is to think about sexual attraction as a vector. Vectors are mathematical line functions that consist of a magnitude and a direction. The directional component of a vector of sexual attraction is the person's sexual orientation. Strictly speaking, this is what the 'LGB' terms were originally used to be a catch-all to represent. The magnitude component of a vector of sexual attraction is the level of sexual interest you have towards somebody. This is where terms like asexual come into play. There are probably a very broad range of sexual interest levels (not just 'sexual' and 'asexual'), but there isn't great terminology in this area to describe them. Some people may use terms like hypersexual or celibate, but those terms are intended to answer a different question that is less about initial sexual attraction and more about ongoing sexual activity.

Pansexual and demi-sexual are terms answering a different question ('why are you attracted to the people who you are attracted to?') that is partially related. Lastly, romantic attraction/love are different concepts for the most part.

All of this is compounded in complexity by how hard it is to fully understand and know even oneself. This is partly what manga like this one are showing. Everyone assumes they are one thing (or don't even think about it) until they grow by either physical age or by meeting more people and being exposed to new ideas.

But the reason I don't think Matoi is asexual, is because the story is perfectly set up for her to be wrong. The main conflict for Matoi is that she struggles to understand others or herself. From a narrative standpoint, she needs to overcome this conflict by learning about herself, and the people around her. And that works the best, when what she thinks she knows about herself is completely wrong. If she was right from the start, then there wouldn't be much left to learn for her, would it?

I mean, the story explicitly states that Aro and Ace are two different things. They aren't like a pair of shoes you need to wear together. It seems pretty clear that Matoi is at least demiromantic, but probably asexual as well. Sexual attraction and romantic love don't always line up as clearly as some like to think.

Nah, Girl, you are neither aromantic nor asexual. What you are has a name, and it's called a late bloomer.

Actually, this is exactly why you shouldn't try to diagnose yourself, but rather let a doctor/specialist do it. Because be it medicine or psychology, most people will get it wrong. Also asexual people are rare. Most people have some kind of sex drive, sometimes weak, sometimes suppressed, but nothing at all is just very rare. Thinking that you are asexual, without even trying to date is... well you're likely mistaken.

"Late bloomer" my ass, go be acephobic elsewhere. She's demi, likely demiromantic asexual. Acespec people are more common than you think, and saying

Being "asexual" is not a spectrum, at least that's not how most people use it. Its the very end of the spectrum, where sexual orientation is not even applicable. Otherwise you could just call them, straight, gay, bi or whatever. And like most edge cases they are very rare.

The most commonly accepted definition for asexual is "feeling no or little sexual attraction". That includes people that feel sexual attraction in very rare cases and people that never feel it in their entire life. It includes people that are repulsed by sex, people that don't care about it and people that don't mind having sex. It's an umbrella term for people that feel significantly less sexual attraction than other people. Of course, if they do feel small amount of sexual attraction they can also identify as straight, gay or bi. Some do this based on which gender they feel romantically attracted to - which is also completely separated from being asexual. So yeah, I think you could call it a spectrum. And why wouldn't it be a sexual orientation? Being straight means feeling sexual towards people of the other gender but not towards people of your own gender. The part of who you're not attracted to is important to differentiate between the different orientation. So why can't you define one by saying that they are not attracted to any gender?

Thinking that you are asexual, without even trying to date is... well you're likely mistaken.

is like saying "Thinking that you are gay without even trying to date the opposite gender is... well you're likely mistaken"

Well, actually yes. I don't think you can completely rule out liking a gender without actually making an honest effort. Trying to date someone isn't the only way, its just the way I thought most applicable to Matoi. She could also just download a wide range of porn, and see what tickles her fancy - but I think that Matoi wouldn't do that.

You can actually enjoy watching porn without wanting to have sex with anybody. Just like people enjoy watching sports without actually wanting to do it themselves.
If she isn't interested in anybody in a romantic sense, doesn't have any desire to participate in sexual activities and doesn't feel drawn to anyone in that way, why should she go out of her way to try dating someone? That's like telling a straight dude to go date another guy for the off chance that they might be bi. Most likely you'll just get an extremely awkward situation where they try to imitate a relationship without actually feeling anything - if they're not outright uncomfortable with it. Which is extremely unfair towards the other person in the relationship.

Alos need to stop acting like they're the default and that acespecs need to "prove it", it's no different than cishets doing it to other queer people.

I don't expect anyone to prove anything, as I don't usually care how someone "identifies". But if someone - for the argument's sake - would want to know if a label fits her, before adopting it, then yes, I'd suggest going from the more probable options to the less probable ones.

But the reason I don't think Matoi is asexual, is because the story is perfectly set up for her to be wrong. The main conflict for Matoi is that she struggles to understand others or herself. From a narrative standpoint, she needs to overcome this conflict by learning about herself, and the people around her. And that works the best, when what she thinks she knows about herself is completely wrong. If she was right from the start, then there wouldn't be much left to learn for her, would it?

There is still a lot that she can learn. She could end up in a romantic relationship without having sex - that would still be new for her as she has never been in a relationship. On top of that it also includes the struggle that a majority of society views sex as an integral part of a relationship and thus has little understanding for people that don't work that way.
Or she could simply enter a close non-romantic relationship. This too would be new territory for her, since she expected to stay alone and it would include opening up to the partner, communicating what they want out of this relationship and all this stuff. She could slowly find out about other options outside of romance and how she can be happy and close to other people without having to confirm to others expectations. Isn't that also a theme in yuri mangas, that the mc learns that they can in fact defy societies expectations of a hetero marriage and instead be in a relationship with another woman? The hardship of going against the majority? Why wouldn't that be a possibility here with non-traditional relationships?
And even if she ends up in a romantic relationship, why would she have to have sex? Just to prove that she was wrong?

last edited at Mar 24, 2022 8:28PM

Mother EFER!!
They better not make a fake out next chapter!!

@translator (or anybody that this knows):

Is the text by the sketches of Rio (after the chapter) with purpose blurred, or was it a mistake when cleaning/translating?
If it's on purpose, maybe a note on the page would be nice ;o)

also thank you so much for your work by translating so many nice mangas ;o)

I liked this chapter in some aspects, but the tropes slightly took me out of it. I can't even begin to count the number of romance stories I've read where a rainstorm triggers them sheltering in one character's house, which is followed by bathing drama. Then the author combined in the ever-prevalent "character faints in bathtub" trope, which has always been a strange one (clearly the Japanese all bathe in temperatures at the edge of human endurance).

You have to remember that manga Japanese are a very delicate bunch. Consider what happens when they catch a cold!

Or she could simply enter a close non-romantic relationship. This too would be new territory for her, since she expected to stay alone and it would include opening up to the partner, communicating what they want out of this relationship and all this stuff. She could slowly find out about other options outside of romance and how she can be happy and close to other people without having to confirm to others expectations. Isn't that also a theme in yuri mangas, that the mc learns that they can in fact defy societies expectations of a hetero marriage and instead be in a relationship with another woman? The hardship of going against the majority? Why wouldn't that be a possibility here with non-traditional relationships?

That could be interesting, although I'm having doubts about the last couple of sentences there. It seems to me that a close relationship that was neither romantic nor sexual would simply be a close friendship. And even people who are both romantically and sexually inclined are mostly capable of, and do not reject the idea of, close friendships. So I'm not sure there would actually be any hardship or defiance of societal expectations involved in being an asexual aromantic who was close friends with someone.

I think in fact that there is a noticeable difference between asexuals and aromantics on one hand, and gay, lesbian, trans and various other groups on the other, in that asexuals and aromantics have never been particularly discriminated against. In a minor, tacit sense yes--since they're a smallish minority people make inaccurate assumptions, don't talk much about their particular concerns, don't target them with advertising and so on. But nobody gets beaten up or murdered or reviled as an evil sinner for being asexual, nor have there ever been laws against not being romantic. All these things do happen to gays and lesbians and trans.

I mean, nobody's going to be un-ironically saying "Those two women living together aren't lesbians living in sin! They're just good friends! Disgusting, I tell you, somebody ought to do something about it!"

last edited at Mar 24, 2022 10:48PM

I don't mind the rainstorm trope. Healthy young adult fainting in the bath, though? Come on.

I don't think she fainted, she probably slipped.

I don't mind the rainstorm trope. Healthy young adult fainting in the bath, though? Come on.

I don't think she fainted, she probably slipped.

Ye, I agree, she probably slipped, which is pretty easy, with a bath, since they are wet and smooth and all

last edited at Mar 25, 2022 12:09AM

I don't mind the rainstorm trope. Healthy young adult fainting in the bath, though? Come on.

I'm a "healthy young adult", sometimes I still get really dizzy if I stand up quickly and basically fall over (not often enough to be concerning). I've just never had that happen to me in a bath. So it's not too far-fetched.