We sometimes hurt ourselves by holding onto ideas of ourselves or dreams for our future. We and the people around us convince us that we show promise for something, that we have passion for something, that we should pursue something. Certainly, sometimes we're right, but sometimes, regardless of passion or skill, it just isn't something we can or want to truly pursue. But we get locked in our heads that this has to provide us happiness, that at some point something is just going to click and it'll all be worth it, because the other option seems to be that it was all for naught.
But, y'know, that's okay. It's okay for something to have been pointless. And being able to have that moment, where all the pretense and pressure suddenly falls away, it might leave you feeling hollow. But there's a relief in no longer being filled with thorns. It hurts to rip them out, but it lets us step back and fill ourselves with the things that make us feel warm and happy.
As one of many "burnt out gifted child"s, crashing and burning out of my first semester of college was painful and hurt like hell in the moment. But ten years on, I don't really care anymore. I enjoy the work I do now, simple as it may be. I pursue hobbies of designing tabletop games, I go on trips with friends, I'll be moving in with my boyfriend of six years later this year. The dreams I once had as a kid are gone, but thinking back to my memories of those times, I still think every second was worth it.