@icekatze yes but I would say ALL relationships STILL go through the fight and make up stage- its gonna happen before you get to know each other well enough to have done much bond strengthening. Its bound to happen in those first few years as you get to know each other and learn.
Any time one gets multiple people together, there are bound to be disagreements. But whether those disagreements quality as a fight depends on how the people express themselves and what one's definition of a fight is. I mean, there's there's a difference between what counts as an argument on the Jerry Springer Show, and what counts as an argument in debate club. Cheerleaders may shout out "fight!" during a sporting event, but it's a very different kind of fight than a drunken brawl.
In my understanding, in order to qualify as a fight, a disagreement needs at least one of the following:
• Physical violence
• Threats
• Shouting
• Speaking with the deliberate intent to cause emotional distress
• Name calling or personal attacks
• Arguing in bad faith (gaslighting, doing whatever it takes to get the last word, etc.)
Acting passive aggressively after giving up on reaching an understanding might count in some cases too, but that partially depends on people's expectations for the relationship. People who are only casually in a relationship don't necessarily need to reach an understanding on a lot of things. But people really ought to be able to address their differences without resorting to any of the above.
I'm not saying having a fight is a deal breaker in a relationship either. But I would suggest that having a fight (in terms of the above list) is a big warning sign, rather than an indication that everything is normal. I'm also not saying one shouldn't enjoy dramas. Just keep in mind that they're not always going to be as realistic as an autobiographical story. ;)
