Remind me to take a hard pass on any comedy ZeroTheYuriLover recommends to me.

I just looked up Iwami Kiyoko on Baka-Updates and the image on her info page is hella disturbing. I'm talking right out of a horror movie.

Meh. It was okay. The implicit yuri needed to be way more explicit for my taste.

By that little blurb on the top of pg 5, I thought it was going to be more about Shion and Uta's families trying to convince then that their love was just a mistake of youth. Kind of like a yuri version of that song "I Think We're Alone Now". Honestly I think that story would have been a much better read.

Well I'm not sure the author was going for a strong emotional response here. Like you said It was hastily done. You don't get to know the characters well enough to really get invested in them. I think the author was going for a simple "dick move cheater girl" or a "well that sucks" Kind of reaction.

Maybe that's the kind of reaction the author was going for over a sad one, either way none of those possibilities clicked with me personally. I thought afterwards only how it'd be nice to get a happier sequel, and one that handles the subjects better.

To me, it didn't feel rushed, or like something was missing. It just felt generic. As if the author used archetypes of characters, instead of actual characters. Almost like the story was a visual outline, or a proof of concept for a bigger story the author has kicking around in their head.
Or maybe the author just hasn't learned how to write fleshed out characters yet. Who knows.

I don't know why you would blame the author. Lack of communication does happen in real life.
I've seen tragic lack of communication before. A friend of mine started hooking up with one of their exes. They thought of it as friends with benefits. The ex took it as they were back together. It ended in tears and screaming. All it would have taken was one single honest conversation about what the change meant for their relationship to avoid it all. Not exactly the same but the same basic concept.

I know miscommunication and lack of communication happens in real life. I'm blaming the author here because that aspect of the story feels poorly handled and written here to me. Due to that I don't feel the sad emotion that the author wants me to feel. If you disagree with me and the author's delivery worked for you, that's good and I'm glad that the story works better for you than it does me.

Well I'm not sure the author was going for a strong emotional response here. Like you said It was hastily done. You don't get to know the characters well enough to really get invested in them. I think the author was going for a simple "dick move cheater girl" or a "well that sucks" Kind of reaction.

I absolutely love that lady stuck in the stall, at the end. The poor woman was adorable blushing with embarrassment. I wish I had skipped the afterward though. It kind of ruined the story for me.

My main point is that while I know the story is a short I'm taking issue with the author here, because nothing is fleshed out so it can be sad due to the lack of communication. The one woman doesn't say at the start that she wants to have numerous partners, and we don't get the exchange of what happens between them when the other woman finds out about the other partner. She just goes home and cries, there's no actual conversation between them shown or trying to work out the situation. We're just told to be sad because she's heart broken.

How can I be sad when neither character actually communicates anything and the entire situation feels hastily rigged by the author in an attempt to make the audience sad? I'm often pretty or even very forgiving of short stories, it's just something like this wants me to feel sad about the situation, when the whole thing doesn't really make sense in my opinion. That said, I'd love a sequel where they both find happiness and actually communicate with whoever their partner(s) is in the future.

I don't know why you would blame the author. Lack of communication does happen in real life.
I've seen tragic lack of communication before. A friend of mine started hooking up with one of their exes. They thought of it as friends with benefits. The ex took it as they were back together. It ended in tears and screaming. All it would have taken was one single honest conversation about what the change meant for their relationship to avoid it all. Not exactly the same but the same basic concept.

last edited at Mar 4, 2023 4:51PM

Well that was short and bitter.

Am I the only one who feels that what Eri and Kyou did was shitty. And, trying to sneak behind Fuyuki's back just makes it ten times worse.

Ooh yuri gun molls, I'm in.

I still hate it when a yuri woman gives up the life and marries a man. Please kick that jerk to the curb and find yourself a nice girl to settle down with Aoi.

I know something of Rika's, that Natsuko has eaten, but Moka has definitely not. I don't think it would be a good idea to use it, but it would definitely be a one hell of a finishing move.

A punch from a deer might not hurt, but their kicks are literally killers.

Just a f.y.i throwing a cellphone is a terrible defense agaist the undead.

A sexy cliff-hanger! Yeah right. We all know that ain't happening.

Wasn't there a Romance tag on this story?

last edited at Jan 20, 2023 6:30PM

THAT WAS CUTTING IT CLOSE!!!

AAAAHHHH!!! DON'T SAY THE WORD CUTTING!!!

Bow Chicka wah wah

If I'm remembering right, most of the volume of any atom is empty space.

I agree.^ I was totally surprised that acewasn't already a tag.

I don't remember anyone peeing themselves in school after kindergartend. And it certainly didn't happen enough for my friends and I to sit around speculating about who would it happen to next.

I like this series. However, every now and then, I remember it was written by a man and that spoils it, just a bit, for me. It reminds me that it's just a guy's fantasy about life at an all girls' school. It's kind of the equivalent of the Cinamax sexy softcore porn movies about women's prisons, I use to sneak downstairs late at night, to watch when I was 13.

Sad a man can't do yuri without being tag as fetishist. Seriously, there are yuri hentai artists who are women. And also it's way less ecchi that it use to be and the writing is pretty good. I don't understand why the author being a man should change the way you see it there.

I said nothing about women not being able to write hentai of any kind. Nor did critisize the writing. I'm saying that this ecchi work is entirely a product of a man's imagination. That is an indisputable fact. Simply fantasizing about girls' sex and love lives doesn't make a guy a fetishist but it's still just a fantasy.

I like this series. However, every now and then, I remember it was written by a man and that spoils it, just a bit, for me. It reminds me that it's just a guy's fantasy about life at an all girls' school. It's kind of the equivalent of the Cinamax sexy softcore porn movies about women's prisons, I use to sneak downstairs late at night, to watch when I was 13.

(Sigh) I figured it was something like that.

Lots of pocky game themed artwork today.