Okay y'all, this may be a hot-take but.

I don't think it's wild to have sex with someone you've been dating/married to for many years while they're drunk.

I personally don't, because I prefer not to, but I know my girlfriend has expressed several times that it would be fine and has gotten really really pouty over me not touching her while she's inebriated.

Does consent matter? Yes, always, absolutely. Can consent be revoked at any time? Yes, of course. Are there some consents which are assumed at certain times in a relationship or per relationship? Also yes. I don't ask for permission everytime I kiss my girl--that'd be odd and it's well established I'm allowed to do that. If at any point she doesn't want me to kiss her, she can say it and I won't but until then, I'm assuming I can--- that's not crazy pos rapist behavior (to quote some comments here)

Which brings us back to. They have implied or explicit permissions within their relationship and having sex with one party drunk is not an insane one after many years of partnership. Just my two cents after reading some strong opinions on Harlo.

there is a complete contextual framework you are missing. Ema has been coerced into this marriage, by hario and everyone around her, the societal mechanism of lesbophobia.. Hario has been pressuring and guilting her for lack of sex, He has used coercive tactics. The shame and guilt motivating Ema to intentionally endanger herself with one outcome in mind were deliberately stoked by Hario. That 'i am inebriated" communicates instantly and precisely one thing to Hario, at least textually, strongly indicates that this is a historical pattern in relationship. Ema may be intentionally using the alcohol purely to endure the "duties" she has been made to feel obligated to, to dull and kill her body and memory temporarily so that it can be consumed, but this is under clear duress. it is marital rape. I dont think its an untoward interpretation for her to have ritualized sexual self-harm within a relationship that is foundationally self-harm. I dont know what others here understanding of self-harm or suicidality is—I firmly believe they are intense social failures, not personal failures—but I do not think she is able to act in full agency because of people like her mother and Hario who have shaped her environment over many years.

She's drunk, full stop. Even if that wasnt abundantly clear, she talked about it in a very disembodied, passive way. It was very much implied "done to her". shes apologizing not for anything that was her choice but because she could not fight what was going to happen to her..

she needs to divorce her rapist soon. i think that warrants cheating

last edited at Apr 19, 2026 12:25PM

oh im locked tf in

i dont actually recognize femboy as a thing really. It was derived from discourse around "tr*p" without engaging fully with the transmisogyny therein. It's not that i dont think ppl who choose the label dont exist or it doesnt help them describe their expression in some way, I just think its a wildly irresponsible word with too much history to be reclaimed at this time, particularly by TME ppl. It is still tied to a fetishized transfemininity and i think its usage in the denial aspect of capital T Transphobia is clearly outlined when people use it to minimize a perceived severity of one label or another to something more ambiguous. I mean the phrase i've literally seen be used for me reading her as a trans woman is "jumping the gun".

When "trans woman" is seen as an escalation from NB or femboy rather than something positionally distinct, I am immediately skeptical of your ability to see trans women as women. It wasnt that long ago that "drag queen" or "sissy [fetishist]" sat in the spot where NB and femboy now occupy in functional usage. Especially with the prevalence of people degendering trans women. "I didnt know if you were nonbinary or not so I used they" vs "I didnt know if you were just doing drag* or not" (a perceived acitvity of gay men). This is not me saying I dont think NB people exist or whatever, just that there are some that have transmisogynistic shit internalized that should be hashed out, not worn as a label. I couldnt imagine any world in which Xiaoyang would like that label, as there is still 'boy" in it.

last edited at Jan 18, 2026 4:05PM

but to clarify yeah the usual pattern i have seen is it is almost always male readers that get sore about the topic in yuri media specifically or else fifteen year olds who desire "unproblematic media". While i may be hyperbolic and overgeneralizing the cut of what I meant is I think its stupid to read a chapter that so clearly depicts a woman held hostage by the heterosexual politic and be like "hrrmm this woman might be a cheater, i dont like that". It belies a deference to heterosexuality and to men, which people who are not straight cis men really do not like to hear they have. Hence, putting on the proverbial silencer with generalizing it as "men".

every so often i forget that men read yuri until good ol forum comments start getting raw around men getting cheated on by lesbians / bi women or having their relationships cease in favor of gay ones. Anyway im excited to see ohsawa yayois take on the terror and violence that marriage enforces upon queer women in small towns.

I don't know who exactly you are talking about, but I'm a woman. And I don't like cheating, regarding of the gender. What kind of comment is that, seriously? Do you implied being cheating on it less of an issue if your partner is gay/bi?

This is a yuri board, gay women can do no wrong and men are all scum and deserve less than nothing /s

unironically yes

every so often i forget that men read yuri until good ol forum comments start getting raw around men getting cheated on by lesbians / bi women or having their relationships cease in favor of gay ones. Anyway im excited to see ohsawa yayois take on the terror and violence that marriage enforces upon queer women in small towns.

last edited at Jan 7, 2026 8:02AM

yeah pretty much my thoughts... idk what was going on with the darker bodysuit? thing? seemed more like a dicey skin tone thing

last edited at Dec 30, 2025 5:06AM

those character designs are just a bit questionable, bordering on rather mean spirited. I hope this manga talks abt how drag houses came from ballroom houses (majority black trans women) because i think that understanding of the history is super necessary 2 how one would go about forming a drag house.

they dont get to skip over trans fem identities and go straight for more nuanced and complex identities and expressions when there is such a lack of explicitly trans fem characters. whether yall want to acknowledge it or not, leaving it ambiguous and refusing to explicitly name things either way, does oversimplify and does erase transness of all varieties. we simply are not at the place where cis authors and cis audiences can thoughtlessly play touys with far more nuanced trans identities than either party wants to honestly address.

my poor oppressed femboys!

no. there is no attack in simply stating the fact that the vast vast majority of cisgender people have unconscious bias against trans women and against transness in general. the argument is that the author is, for the time being, reinforcing a kind of narrative about gender and transfemininity that folds into this unconscious bias, which is affecting the decisions the author is making about the story, and these decisions are frankly, irresponsible.

and to this i will say again that the story does not exist in a vacuum and is not infallible. the author has biases and makes decisions in the context of persistent, institutional transmisogyny in her environment.

last edited at Dec 16, 2025 10:55AM

you cant put a forced haircut scene right before a "feels gender euphoria in the mirror for the first time by seeing herself with a feminine haircut" scene directly after each other and then go "uhhhh idk bog standard run of the mill femboy stuff teehee theres no such thing as a trans woman."

i just fundamentally disagree that xiaoyang getting defensive over being identified femininely by others is demonstrating she is not trans fem lol. Eggs / in denial trans fems tend to not like getting clocked socially, esp by strangers / less familiar or safe people. Not having a response to masculine terms is itself another defense mechanism to hide from the possibility of being outed in some kind of way.

akira goes through the anger stage of grief for one chapter where she takes it out internally on mayuki... totally makes her the asshole right? if there wasnt that anger and pain and emotional processing then this would read too sweet and contrived but instead its grounded in pretty reasonable emotional processing for teenagers.

the larger point of the bar sections was that there are people that dont nearly fall under LGBT labels who have personal experiences that are "more complex" or not entirely captured by the acronym. genderfluid nonbinary people are not the first thought when someone uses the term trans.

well no "male cross dresser" was never part of the discussion and an incredibly dense and transphobic way of simplifying a character that specifically said they are genderfluid, which is a trans identity. No one said in the text "kiyo is a man that dresses like a woman" or "likes to wear women's clothes". The text just factually states that Kiyo presents differently than what can be physically observed, regardless of whtether thats masculine or feminine.

last edited at Dec 10, 2025 9:46PM

that said i adore their dynamic... poor stupid twisted gay babies. 64 was sooooo fucking good. I love how needy they both are. I really really appreciate the TL.

last edited at Dec 10, 2025 3:33PM

I think that this story was alright at first, but as it progressed and started having more social commentary (Idk what else to call that) on it, it started to sound like the author didn't really put enough time into their research so it feels like "baby's first time talking about oppression", and while that would have worked well if it was limited to Haruki herself, it kind of extends over other characters which means it's probably coming from the author themself. And well, that scene when Kiyo is first introduced was quite transmisogynistic with the text immediately jumping to "You see that woman? That's a guy actually." and despite not being transfem myself, made me uncomfortable because that wasn't necessary at all, and her being the only character to make vulgar jokes like that puts her together with the other characters who harass the protagonists sexually in my opinion, and that's not very nice. That chapter kind of soured the whole thing for me and there's this undertone that separates her from femininity even if the character is bigender.

I'm not saying it's absolutely Bad, but it could have been a lot better if the author had spent more time researching about the people they wanted to write about, because there would have been a much better contrast between Haruki's own prejudices and Reality. At least I think it did well on how it portrayed the homophobic (sexual) harassment and how many don't understand the risks of being outed, though I won't spoil this because I don't remember if it's been translated yet.

I did enjoy Haruki's initial denial of being into Asuka and the insistence on wanting to top at first only to give in and get really shy about it lol. She just can't go against years of That. I'm not particularly interested in office settings so I read this knowing I was probably not going to get into it, and it really wasn't my thing, but it was entertaining enough to read the entire translation and then a few of the raw chapters.

Kiyo is, however, a genderfluid person who from what I understood was AFAB and tended to present femininely. I dont think there was anything to suggest the other way around and thus play things about his characterization transmisogynistically. like his "elephant" could very well just be a strap, tdick, or penis and it wouldnt have really any bearing. I get wanting to jump the gun but idk i think Kiyo was cool to have in this story

author please have xiaoyang stop referring to herself with male terms this is clearly a woman

"summer cold" that mysteriously only appeared 4-5 years ago... almost the same time around that wacky silly period in 2020. gosh, who coulda thunk this would be the norm? guess we'll never know!

Who dresses like that at work? It looks like the marketing girl just got isekai-ed from a fantasy world. As stupid as it sounds, it kind of breaks the suspension of disbelief for me.

Might take a look at future chapters, I like the fact that MC works in collectibles, but not convinced yet.

a high femme who is also a nerd

ah the fantasy of having a hyperactive high femme to wrest yourself from your self impaoed limits

not that this totally bears a justification or that this needs to be the case every time for this kind of thing but like idk its super obvious to me with this set up specifically, the student 'at the wheel' there is a deliberate editorializing of one's own victimization. It is not very concerned with maintaining the suspension of belief around the crucial details and instead is blatant fantasy in the way she gets to have all the agency and power. its like traumakink 101. we are in the S's / Adults POV because she is the mirror image of the other protagonists experiences "in the real". They even spell it out with the middle school anecdote. Teach falls into this world likely under the same conditions that precipitated the student, but is yet another editorializion of ones victimization in that she is willing and enjoying it beyond the physicality. The fear is not somatic and is not negative, but mental and positive.

anyways yea this is already making for good scenes and this dynamic can explore a lot of cool stuff for anyone with experiences / involved with traumas.

last edited at Jun 14, 2025 4:14PM