All right! Finally caught up!
Having not had the mis/fortune to read My Unrequited Love, the story this most reminds me of is instead Ikoku Nikki. Both are about a schoolgirl living with a relative in the wake of a death, and both are about the serpentine way our minds wrap themselves around the grieving process (in both stories, it's well past the halfway point that Shino / Asa have their moment of catharsis where they realize that their dead loved ones are really gone forever). The differences between them make them feel more like complements than copies, though. This story leans on yuri tropes and conventions, and Ikoku Nikki, despite having at least one unambiguously lesbian couple, feels more shaped by BL conventions (and also has a more seinen / yaoi art style as well). Neither of them seems to be in a hurry to resolve, and in Ikoku Nikki it's even less clear what the endgame is than here. In both cases, though, the ride is way more interesting than the destination.
People have commented on the level of drama in this, but I think if anything it undersells the impact of grief and loss. The story doesn't often dwell on it, but Shino is only 17, and has lost not only both parents but her surrogate parent / brother. Especially in a culture that places so much emphasis on family life (at least during childhood), that's a nearly unimaginable amount of loss. Chapter 67 captured this really well – I, too, have had really confusing mornings of visiting my father with my ex before we drive to visit my grandparents in a dream, and have had to spend a couple hours sometimes reorienting myself after I wake up and I'm pushing 50. Grieving's not some kind of XP grinding process where you feel really sad for some length of time and then you pop out of it with a Lvl 3 Adulting skill. It's something that comes and goes fitfully, and you can absolutely be totally calm or even laughing one moment and then be right back in the grip of devastation just by seeing a calendar date or an old ad on TV.
I get that the very slow pace of the story messes with the reader's sense of the passage of time, but it's been a little over a year since Taishi died at this point in the story, which is really not very long at all for people processing the death of their husband / last close family member. Also, the story doesn't dwell on this at all, but the way Taishi died is profoundly fucked up – dead of a cold at the office, like something out of an isekai prologue. It's a situation practically (and maybe literally) designed to stymie easy closure. I really like the way the story shows rather than telling us how it plays out, and the different ways that Nozomi and Shino (don't) talk about Taishi's death.
Another thing I like is that this story is full of characters who prioritize other people's needs over their own, and the way it very quietly shows the risks and consequences of doing that. WIth Nozomi and Shino most obviously (and I loved how Heidi's explanation of interdependency was both more or less right and heartwarming but was undermined by her own experiences and loss), but also with Ritsuko, Heidi, and Minato. Putting on a brave front or self-deprecation turn into self-abnegation very easily, and also can push away the people you're trying to hold tight.
last edited at Mar 21, 2021 4:13AM
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