There is a reason every baihe story ends with "after enough talking and convincing my parents and relatives come to accept me and we reconcile" and not "I just disconnect from my shitty homophobic parents woohoo", the former is the ultimate wish fulfillment here. The desire to be able to connect with your blood is simply embedded in the culture and it's reflected everywhere.

This is big in Chicano culture too. There's something deeply and personally painful about separating from family that way. Found family and purposeful community is great, but some of the people advocating for leaving your blood relationships have lower thresholds for what justifies going no contact. I think they genuinely felt relieved that they didn't have to talk to these people anymore and struggle to understand why it would feel like a net negative internally to others. It's not (entirely) the way other family or society will respond to you leaving that causes the pain, it's internal.

@ rainbow8

You're choosing the most hostile possible interpretation of what might simply be non-optimal wording.

Being gay, in itself, is not a burden. Being gay in a homophobic society creates social problems for the parents as well as for the gay person. Okay?

I've found that "burden" is one of those words to which people often have a strong emotional reaction, thereby coloring how they interpret what they said. Someone taking the worst interpretation doesn't surprise me.

Factually speaking, I do think you're right here. When someone is very stigmatized, their close relationships also are stigmatized, albeit to a lesser degree. Some people are going to handle that badly.

@ FluffyCow

I'm not the person you're responding to, though I want to say that parents having an idea on what the optimal version of their child is definitely hits home for me. Getting a bit personal for a second, my dad loves me in his own way, though he doesn't really understand or accept me for who I am, as I don't meet his expectations for who I should be according to his inflexible vision of what he thinks the optimal version of me is.

Congratulations, for I also wasn't the person the other person was responding to,

I try to avoid posting personal information on here, partially because the discussions can get emotionally charged and I want to avoid dumping my own trauma on people. It has been part of my experience too, though, especially when I was a minor or otherwise financially dependent. I imagine this applies to many people, albeit to varying degrees.

More generally, it can be a challenge to not place expectations on what other people should be in other contexts. An example is in a romantic context, where we might want our partner to have certain qualities, or even strangers in public. That's something I'm working on, though this doesn't mean I never criticize people. There's a difference between trying to control someone versus accepting the current situation is what ever it is and then doing my best to figure out the best response. Parsing that difference in the moment is the hard part.

last edited at Mar 30, 2025 7:54PM

Congratulations, for I also wasn't the person the other person was responding to,

I try to avoid posting personal information on here, partially because the discussions can get emotionally charged and I want to avoid dumping my own trauma on people. It has been part of my experience too, though, especially when I was a minor or otherwise financially dependent. I imagine this applies to many people, albeit to varying degrees.

More generally, it can be a challenge to not place expectations on what other people should be in other contexts. An example is in a romantic context, where we might want our partner to have certain qualities, or even strangers in public. That's something I'm working on, though this doesn't mean I never criticize people. There's a difference between trying to control someone versus accepting the current situation is what ever it is and then doing my best to figure out the best response. Parsing that difference in the moment is the hard part.

Yeah I generally don't get personal myself for similar reasons, and privacy + so fourth. While I was hesitant to share my personal thoughts I figure where the story currently is, and the general discussion of it, that it was an appropriate time to do so. For that reason I don't think I'm dumping my trauma on anyone, only stating my ability to relate to the narrative in the story and the discussion in my own way. Sometimes expressing vulnerability is important in my opinion.

I am meaning I am the one who would dump my trauma on people if I'm not careful, so I hope neither you nor anyone else took that as a statement about other people's posts. I enjoyed hearing your thoughts.

I am meaning I am the one who would dump my trauma on people if I'm not careful, so I hope neither you nor anyone else took that as a statement about other people's posts. I enjoyed hearing your thoughts.

Oh yeah no worries, I was saying for myself at least that's why I don't think I'm dumping any trauma on people, I didn't want to speak for others though more broadly speaking I think it's a good time to share, especially with how the story right now is going to hit a very personal note for a lot of readers. It makes for good discussion as well, and thanks for being open to hearing my thoughts on the subject.

i don’t know where the most of you live but where im from it's hard to 'normalize queerness' because of strong religious beliefs. people aren’t open to questioning those ideas. BUT that doesn’t mean you must move elsewhere or attack them in the same way. even if you went to Mars, there would still be people to argue with. the first step is to accept the challenges. some people try to talk with their families, sharing the 'burden' of being different and then they support them anyway because in the end wtf do we actually know so let's just be kind. others have to cut ties because too much pressure and lack of communication lead to mental health problems. some have to stay quiet for safety or other reasons. but no matter what, all the struggles are worth it. just like with the Stonewall riots, every debate, protest, and effort to communicate is sacred. No right is secured for ever actually, so lets keep fighting

simply put, Tong Tong's mother is a goddess

even if you went to Mars, there would still be people to argue with.

Mfw you move to mars to escape the homophobia and the rovers start writing slurs in the dirt

last edited at Apr 8, 2025 12:20AM

surprising but cute

lmao amazing

I was honestly so disappointed in TongTong when we remembered she doesn't do squat in the house. I still stan her tho. What a sweet reconciliation.

Mommy has her priorities straight

Luxi has her priorities gay

having overcome the lesbian hurdle, tong tong now has to overcome all the other hurdles about being a "good fit" from dearest mother in law

Well TongTong gotta learn how to do chores as well as she did with being a dom

this chapter is so good

Well lol I mean she is asking the right questions, I like how she ask first who do the chores XD

Now it's time for tongtong to level up her game as well.....in chores department it is XD

Very fun chapter, thanks for the translation

lmao amazing

Perfect

Mothers synchronized on "she doesn't do squat"

Dynasty friends. I love this manhua. It makes me happy. It's good civilization.

she wasted no time to switch to in-law mode. iconic

Tongtongs mom really is a phycho. If someone woke me up like that we're leaving with matching concussions (it is a good joke though). Also love that both moms clocked that Tongtong doesn't do squat.

All that aside I'm glad she came round. Looks like Tongtongs mom was right that she was mostly there, but lashed out when she saw that she was being lied to (though it's ultimately her fault as to why). I think we'll get one more sappy chapter before coming against the accidentally horrifying implications of that gift

having a gay kid is still a huge social burden the parents have to share with the child

If you think being gay is equal to being a burden, what are you even doing on this site ? Seriously, fuck off. Calling gay children a burden is literal homophobia and should not be accepted in a safe space such as here.

Even today there aren't many places where you can grow up gay and not make it harder for yourself and your family. People told me I'm a satanist for liking girls and that I'm a burden to society for not wanting kids and get married. That was in germany which is not super religious. Imagine living in a more conservative country. You can't always just cut off your community and go move somewhere else.

I really don't appreciate this ( mostly american it seems) twitter culture of attacking anything and anyone. People aren't your enemy just because they say something you don't want to hear. How can this create a "safe space"? Not being allowed to say anything that could be seen as uncomfortable creates toxic positivity. This is not punching nazis, this is hurting our own side.

Anyway, maybe now the Doer of Nothing will become a Doer of Something in her next training arc.

last edited at Apr 17, 2025 3:00AM

TongTong is a Doer of Luxi.

Being a dom is really half of the necessary chores anyway