Mona joined the social dance club because of her grandma, but she was interested in dancing with a girl, not out of ambition but just for fun. Then she quickly noticed Shion with her massive crush on Kiki, and was like "she's perfect". Sure, this is a yuri manga, but all of that happened before she started catching feelings for Shion. So I wonder if she knows that a straight girl would be unlikely to end up in a situation like this.

While she didn't exactly confess outright, Mona let her feelings slip quite a bit here ("you haven't looked at me at all", "I have always seen you"). Shion has always been a bit of a mess, but she has never looked smaller than this time. The fact that she has kept wallowing in her guilt for so long, and that she appears to be so alienated from everyone else, makes me worried that some deeper issue might be in the background. What could be so awful in her life that she would prefer to dissolve herself in an unrequited love, surrendering all control to her friend, and later sinking into a pool of her own guilt?

Well, maybe the alienation and guilt is just because of internalized lesbophobia, and her parents just work out of town instead of being actively neglectful or abusive.

The idea of "closure" these series propose has always been selfish to me but maybe that's my hangup.

I think that was precisely what Mona was getting at.
Her whole point is that being selfish and doing selfish things is just something people do. That being in love with someone (and thus projecting their feelings onto them) is inherently selfish to some extent.

She also never says that it doing so isn't wrong, or that she shouldn't feel bad at all, which i feel is important. Just that nobody is a saint and Shion shouldn't wallow in self-hatred like she's the worst person ever just bc she's, y'know, acting like people do.

The impression I got was that Mona now wants Shion to vent her frustrations, how she felt and how she still feels to Haruma and to do so for closure. So they would be continuing that selfish act, rather than avoiding it. That's what my response was focused on.

That kind of thing is unnecessary to me and serves mostly to make the venter feel better at the expense of someone they claim to care for, yet many series treat the act like a good thing. I'd rather (and still hope) that she continues talking with Mona (who is trying her best to show her worth to Shion), comes to terms with her feelings together, and then meets Haruma after she's overcome her issues. She doesn't need to trauma dump on Haruma, for "closure."

Bottling up your emotions and never giving them an outlet is unhealthy and can trap you in those feelings. Taking up emotional space is not some odious thing you inflict on other people. Is there a form and pattern of venting that can be toxic? Sure. But that doesn’t mean that accepting someone’s offer to emotionally support you is inherently bad.

Yeah. I think fixating on Mona's exact phrasing is a mistake here. She is not giving Shion therapeutic advice, but releasing her own frustrations that she has been pushing down until now. I'm sure Shion takeaway is just that she should clear things up with Kiki, not that she has been using the wrong girl as an emotional dumping ground.

I don't think the story is purely using closure as a framework here. This friendship is not guaranteed to be fixed by a confession, far from it, but it can't be repaired if Shion continues to hide this part of her from Kiki. The guilt would continue to eat away at her, and Kiki would also continue to worry and possibly blame herself. If Shion can confess, it will be the opening -rather than closing- of a door, letting fresh air into the room.

last edited at Apr 12, 2024 7:24PM

Progress...?

Actually, rereading the chapter a few times I don't think Mona is actually telling Shion to literally "dump" her problems on Kiki and that statement was just Mona calling Shion out on how she said Kiki was the only person who saw her for who she was.

Mona prefaces that scene with "what am I to you?" so I think it's more like a "How dare you say Kiki is the only one who sees your true self when you've only told these selfish feelings to me? If you truly believe you can be your true self around Kiki, then you better dump these feelings on Kiki too!" It's more of a frustrated rant from Mona comparing who actually "sees" Shion's true self than advice (although I do think in the overall convo Mona is still telling Shion to open up more in general and talk to Kiki to work out their problems).

Yeah. I think fixating on Mona's exact phrasing is a mistake here. She is not giving Shion therapeutic advice, but releasing her own frustrations that she has been pushing down until now. I'm sure Shion takeaway is just that she should clear things up with Kiki, not that she has been using the wrong girl as an emotional dumping ground.

Lol whoops just realized you pretty much said the same thing but in less words xD

last edited at Apr 13, 2024 8:00AM

Lets do the in my feelings challenge!