yessss it's back! thanks for picking it up! so im guessing there is hope for a true happy end? I was surprised Nacchan actually spilled the beans to her husband! Like damn if I heard the words "I'll probably love her more than anything for the rest of my life," I'd call off the wedding then and there lol.
Actually it is not uncommon than you think. The two types of women that I have dated did exactly what you just described, Both are widows. You just have to remind yourself that if you keep having a hang up of this, you will never have a successful marriage or relationship. You need to remind yourself that you are chasing a ghost, but it does not have to be that way. One of the things I did was to listen, to learn as much as possible about their deceased partners. Never say things like "I am chasing a ghost...I will never be able to be loved fully by you". Just simply do not think about it, and remind yourself, this was then, this is now. If you marry that person, consider that you also marry the ghost. Sooner or later their feelings will change, could be one month could be 5 years. So the most important thing you need to know is never feel hurt and remind yourself that this is normal. Now, if you think that you cannot possibly wait for 5 years, then you may think about breaking up. But usually the only reason for breaking up is because the clock is ticking down towards menopause closer and closer and you do not want to have a kid who essentially only has one parent. My best friend also has the same "widowhood" problem. But thankfully she finally understand that it was unfair to her partner because she still kept missing her dead boy friend from almost 2 decades ago. Once she "woke up", she put in every single energy into her then current relationship until he passed away. She loved him so much that she swore she will never marry anyone from then on.