Is Niji motivated by wanting to protect Remu or wanting the best for Remu (and just following these goals in terrible and misaligned ways)?

My answer to that would also be no. My assertion was that she believes her idealized version of Remu is real, that she believes that her actions are ultimately in Remu's interests, and that she will likely feel bad if she realizes this isn't the case. This is different than saying her "true motivations" are only that she wants the best for Remu, something I never said. I said she was motivated by wanting to attain something she thinks she needs. One can feel bad when they realized they behaved selfishly and harmed other people - feeling bad doesn't require that one never had selfish feelings.

I could be misunderstanding, but I don't think this is a celebrity stalker situation where she came up with the fantasy and then pursued Remu. It appears more to me like that Remu became part of her friend group, Remu was a safe person who filled a need in her life, and from there she started to push more fantasies and expectations upon Remu as she started to think of Remu as necessary for her.

This means it was never a total fantasy - there was some real world basis and history to their relationship that was positive enough for them to become close friends. We also saw this more explicitly with Azuki and Meguru, where they both connected with each other in a genuine way before the relationship deteriorated. I thought they made it abundantly clear that Remu and Niji did have a positive history, with Niji being seen as the mom and caretaker figure in the class, even if we haven't gotten a flashback for their history as friends yet. I likewise thought it was clear that there would have been some reason Meguru and Azuki originally got emotionally invested in each other, even before we saw the explicit flashback.

last edited at Oct 6, 2025 9:43AM

I could be misunderstanding, but I don't think this is a celebrity stalker situation where she came up with the fantasy and then pursued Remu. It appears more to me like that Remu became part of her friend group, Remu was a safe person who filled a need in her life, and from there she started to push more fantasies and expectations upon Remu as she started to think of Remu as necessary for her.

Yeah - I think there is a misunderstanding. Celebrity stalkers are of course the first thing that comes to mind when we talk about stalking. That's completely natural, since those are the cases that newspaper and TV reports will happily cover - but the vast amount of stalking happens of course between completely normal and everyday people. They can start out as work colleagues, casual acquaintances, or friends. And the psychological mechanism that motivate stalking can of course pop up in slightly different contexts as well.

In the case of this manga Niji doesn't stalk Remu at the start - it's rather that we see her slip more and more into this sort of thinking/behaving. They are regular friends at the start, with Niji working through her feelings through the work of fiction she is penning, but we can also see how this fiction is becoming more and more important to her, how the intense emotional attachment to the fiction begins to affect her, and how it starts to gradually replace real life. We also see how this kind of unhealthy thinking is starting impact her actions and behavior - culminating in her crossing a moral boundary in this last chapter.

Also I wouldn't even go so far as to say that she truly believes in doing what's best for Remu. It might be that we are completely on the same side here, but the phrasing just doesn't sit right - since it does make it seem like you are saying that this is her motivation (which you have clarified you don't want to express with this). I would rather say it like this: Niji tells herself that she is doing the best for Remu to justify her own immoral actions. This might all just be word games at this point though. It seems like we mostly agree on what is going on.

Now I can't really tell where this is going to lead. It is possible that the manga will make her come to her senses, and truly regret her actions and thoughts - but I could just as well see this manga going to some dark places with Niji completely losing it. Like I said - I don't really think that we'll see murder or physical violence based on how the story has been so far, but it has touched on some pretty heavy topics. It is possible that not all characters come out of this story clean or partially redeemed - and Niji is currently the one character who has been pushed most towards being an outright villain.

I think she has multiple motivations going on at the same time, rather than one that is "the motivation" for all her actions. I do think she cares about Remu and values their relationship. She wouldn't want to self conceptualize herself as someone who would mistreat Remu.

Some of her motivations are filtered through her thinking Remu is a naive, submissive person who depends on her. We can see how she comes to this conclusion. Remu is pretty accommodating and accepting toward other people, while Niji is someone she trusts and goes to for advice. Remu is not actually passive or submissive and her allowing other people to have their perspectives doesn't mean she uncritically adopts them. Nonetheless, Niji wants to think of herself as having that kind of motherly relationship with Remu, maybe because her own relationship with her mother lacks that caring dynamic toward Niji.

last edited at Oct 6, 2025 9:55AM

I do think she cares about Remu and values their relationship.

Like I said - I do not think she cares about Remu at all - at least not in the current chapter. Maybe she did at some other point, but right now she only cares about herself, and this shows itself very clearly in the way she speaks - never expressing any actual concern for Remu, but only focusing on herself, and how Remu's action reflect back on her.

Maybe she will come to her senses in some later chapter and be deeply apologetic, but right now she is just acting out of pure selfish desire. We'll have to wait for future chapters to see how things turn out.

last edited at Oct 6, 2025 11:25AM

I've been commenting on the entire story and not a specific chapter or scene, but, in the extra content, the author referred to this volume as depicting Niji and Meguru's "disgusting side". Or as I put, her having a breakdown. They wouldn't refer to it as a "side" if it were in fact their entire personality and motivation. It is Niji's low point where she establishes herself as an antagonist in the coming chapters or volumes.

The two characters explicitly had a relationship prior to the earliest scenes in the story, so it's natural for me to include the implied information about what that was like in how I describe the characters. If someone else wants to do something different, like focusing on explicitly depicted information only, then it's not my business to tell someone else how to enjoy a story. Nonetheless, the other stuff is part of the story and setting the author has carefully prepared for us.

last edited at Oct 6, 2025 12:48PM

The two characters explicitly had a relationship prior to the earliest scenes in the story, so it's natural for me to include the implied information about what that was like in how I describe the characters. If someone else wants to do something different, like focusing on explicitly depicted information only, then it's not my business to tell someone else how to enjoy a story. Nonetheless, the other stuff is part of the story and setting the author has carefully prepared for us.

The entire discussion was specifically about this chapter - how Niji had been somebody that some people could sympathize until this point, and now became villainous in a not fun way right here specifically. That was the initial post you quoted and answered to, so yes - we would of course look at this chapter and what happens here.

Feel free to focus on whatever you want. I've been doing things like linking other chapters because I was talking about more than one chapter and Niji's character more generally. What I've been doing is repeatedly trying to clarify in response to incorrect assumptions about my beliefs or motivations (for example, that I think Niji hasn't acted selfishly in the latest updates, or that I am trolling), not to get anyone else to do anything. Consider that one of my attempted clarifications.

last edited at Oct 6, 2025 6:54PM

it's funny how all the discussion rn is about niji and remu, which i do get because what's going on with them is crazy fucked up, but i'm here thinking about meguru's response to azuki. like meguru has issues(tm) but i was under the impression that it was mainly azuki obsessing over and fixating on their relationship. but. i think meguru's been just as fixated on it in a different way, and she's taken the avoidance and denial strategy instead. but she's realizing that she does want azuki to want her? which flies in the face of her whole distorted worldview so far. very interested to see how that plays out

it's funny how all the discussion rn is about niji and remu, which i do get because what's going on with them is crazy fucked up, but i'm here thinking about meguru's response to azuki. like meguru has issues(tm) but i was under the impression that it was mainly azuki obsessing over and fixating on their relationship. but. i think meguru's been just as fixated on it in a different way, and she's taken the avoidance and denial strategy instead. but she's realizing that she does want azuki to want her? which flies in the face of her whole distorted worldview so far. very interested to see how that plays out

This is how I see Meguru too, more or less. She has not moved on in the least. If anything she regressed back to her childhood, living a loveless, isolated existence surrounded by plushies that part of her fear could still have an ulterior motive.

People on mangadex had different interpretations of Meguru being upset, like that she had repressed sexual desire she felt like Azuki was denying. Maybe she does, but to me it seemed more like she was frustrated by not having the kind of "pure love" she felt like they had as teenagers. Azuki said what Meguru wanted, but did so while hyperventilating and looking traumatized, then vowed never to touch Meguru again. Meguru is frequently seen cuddling the plushies. Clearly she doesn't want someone afraid to touch her and afraid of her in general.

Like Niji, Meguru sees herself as someone with pure motivations trying to do something good with Azuki. When Azuki reacts like Meguru did something bad to Azuki, it's unpleasant for Meguru. I likened this to parents who beat their children into obedience and then get upset when the child cries or seems afraid of them. This type of cognitive dissonance often predates someone realizing they made a mistake, though they can also double down afterwards and blame the other person.

last edited at Oct 7, 2025 9:13AM

It's pretty dang uplifting to see Azuki being hopeful.

Crisis averted, mostly...

Niji bout to turn this poor girl into a fanfic doll for her
Lotta dolls

Azuki managing to cheer up Yakou... I'm so proud of my girls. Also, good deflection there, that AzuMegu story that Niji is cooking right now will be fire lmao

us disgusting people gotta stick together

us disgusting people gotta stick together

That was so uplifting to see even though I'm expecting horrible things to happen soon in the story.

I kind of like the idea that Megu and Azuki do end up sorting things out, but by helping Remu with her doll Azuki is able to help Remu come to terms with her own "disgusting" sides and either break things off with Niji or help Niji also arrive at a healthier place.

Yep. Let’s have the disgusting girls hang out and be gross together and become “better”!

Whether that means quitting the thing or accepting the thing, they can work it out!

I think I start to understand how Niji san thinks based on the two extra pages Usui sensei draws:
https://dynasty-scans.com/chapters/our_love_is_disgusting_ch11_5#7
https://dynasty-scans.com/chapters/our_love_is_disgusting_ch11_5#8

In first extra page, Remu san was referring to Azuki san. She met Azuki san in her part time work and hopes she could take more shifts to meet her more.
But on the second page, Niji san wrote in her own fanfic story, she thinks Remu san is saying about her and thus made a version of Remu san saying "Remu san thinks about Niji san a lot (Niji san thinks Remu san loves her) and that she would want to take more shifts so that she could live with Niji san when both graduates).

I feel sorry for Niji san all of a sudden.
I can understand if she uses fanfic to cope her reality because that's what some creative people would do when the reality doesn't go just like how people want to(think of it as coping mechanism).
Niji san 's problem is that she blurred her imaginary world with her reality. Thus when the real Remu san doesn't act according to her expectation, she starts getting disoriented and got angry about it..(which is not good.. right?if it's happened in real life scenarios)

(After seeing the newest chapter)
It seems that Niji san is portrayed as the bad villian in the manga!
Sounds like she wanted to change Remu san into how Remu san should be according to her imaginary novel D: (or is it?)

As for Azuki san, I have a feeling that she does , and in fact in love with Meguru san.
However, due to past relationship with Meguru san and how Meguru san said it's disgusting for Azuki san to touch her (which hurts Azuki san deeply and turns to creating model instead), she doesn't want to hurt Meguru san,this pushes Meguru san away this time and said No to her. I think this time,Meguru san does want Azuki san to touch her(giving her permission or consent?),signifying that they are in a relationship.
This time though, what she doesn't know is that, she is pushed away with a No.
Though I don't quite understand what she means when Meguru san said "she has corrected Azuki san"?

If it's a normal couple, I think.. I think that it's normal that both want to touch each other. Unfortunately, that's not the case for both Azuki san and Meguru san. Traumas haunt their lives pretty bad..

Oh..
It seems that Azuki san has put making models as her passion. So it doesn't matter if Meguru san isn't in her mind anymore because she can now enjoy making models without thinking about Meguru san..(ah..)

If I'm Azuki san, I'll also thank Remu san for accepting that side of disgusting self.
Not everyone can accept that side if it's revealed to people. But those who could still accept and be a part of your life is sincere and should be taken care about ಥ⁠‿⁠ಥ..

(On second thought, I really like Azuki x Remu now. Being so supportive on their hobby that people considered disgusting yet both could have fun with it...is precious ಥ⁠‿⁠ಥ..)

last edited at Oct 22, 2025 11:59PM

the calm before the storm

us disgusting people gotta stick together

Freaks together strong.

This is such an interesting concept and storylines! I wanna see them all unfold.
Usui Shio yet again coming in with an amazing story! Cheers ❤️

Niji is a yume.

Honestly, I'm sure that if Niji was the protagonist there wouldn't be so much hate or dislike for her in the comments. The girl is gross, yes, so are all four of them. That’s the point.
If she was the protagonist, people wouldn't have so much trouble sympathizing with her. I am not going to deny that the story itself “antagonizes” her to a certain extent. but it's entertaining because I feel like the reaction to her proves the point of the story a little bit. Everyone has a line and beyond that everything is “degeneracy”, the story presents all these girls as weird, but depending on how much you can sympathize with them, and how valid you find their reasons for being that way, the reader classifies them again in “acceptable” and “disgusting”.

Either way, Azuki is so cute.

Ironic saying disgusting when she does quite the same

Niji is a yume.

Honestly, I'm sure that if Niji was the protagonist there wouldn't be so much hate or dislike for her in the comments. The girl is gross, yes, so are all four of them. That’s the point.
If she was the protagonist, people wouldn't have so much trouble sympathizing with her. I am not going to deny that the story itself “antagonizes” her to a certain extent. but it's entertaining because I feel like the reaction to her proves the point of the story a little bit. Everyone has a line and beyond that everything is “degeneracy”, the story presents all these girls as weird, but depending on how much you can sympathize with them, and how valid you find their reasons for being that way, the reader classifies them again in “acceptable” and “disgusting”.

Either way, Azuki is so cute.

It's not just a matter of how 'weird' or 'gross' they are, but how that effects other people. Remu gets off on licking dolls; 'weird' but literally harmless. Niji is delusional about other people, and trying to make Remu conform to those delusions. This is not harmless.

It's not just a matter of how 'weird' or 'gross' they are, but how that effects other people. Remu gets off on licking dolls; 'weird' but literally harmless. Niji is delusional about other people, and trying to make Remu conform to those delusions. This is not harmless.

Even before Niji tried to impose that on Remu, people were making comments about her. Depending on your beliefs, the four girl fetishes are not harmless and can be a “bad influence” to the people around them, even if they do it in their room. To us that is nonsense, but when we are faced with something that we ourselves find gross/disgusting, we immediately draw the line. “Ok this is actually gross and dangerous” or “I’m weird but not like that”
Niji is a kid and has her own problems, she won't do anything crazy, the manga doesn't have those vibes, I'm sure this will be resolved with a conversation. My point is that she hasn't yet done irreparable damage that can't be fixed, but people already see her as a different kind of weird, one who isn't "normal."

Remu and Azuki both know what it's like to feel disgusted with yourself, to be aware that you're not normal, etc. I really think they connected easily because both want to understand/support others instead of immediately drawing a line. Niji on the other hand would call Azuki gross on the spot if she knew about her fetish.

It’s difficult to make this point without people immediately jumping to “oh so you think this and that is ok? there need to be a limit” but that’s not what I am saying, and I hope my point come across even if my wording is poor.