this isn't even really "what the fuck am i reading?" because the author kind of makes it blatantly clear what i'm reading, but more along the lines of .. "should i be reading this? Why am i reading this? why should anyone have to read this?"
Literally me rn. Also, like a very slow trainwreck, you can't look away.
I'm saying this after binging the whole thing btw, Ryou is the biggest winner so far.