Meguru forcing azuki to do that isn't the best, but I think Meguru being confused about what she wants is understandable and I feel bad for both of them. Meguru reads very strongly to me as asexual, and possibly homoromantic as well, combined with some sexual trauma from stumbling across her dad cheating on her mom.
Her contradictory expressed desires are from her being confused by what society tells her she is suppose to want from a relationship, and what she internally, actually wants from one. It seems she doesn't have anyone close enough to talk to these feelings about, so she hasn't had tho opportunity to figure out she's asexual, and it's very possible she doesn't even know that asexuality is a thing at all.
I hope that her reconnecting with Azuki will giver her someone to talk to and figure out her feelings with, but considering what this manga is, its more likely their relationship will develop in a more toxic direction, with Azuki denying herself and Meguru continuing to express contradictory desires because she doesn't have a framework to understand what it is she wants from the relationship ( a romantic but non-sexual one.)
Edit: typos
last edited at Oct 2, 2025 11:45AM