Oh My God poor Xiangyuan didn't know the extent of Tianli's involvement with the bullying. She probably assumed Tianli was a fellow victim or something, she left school almost immediately after that and skipped town. It's possible Tianli showing up on town is actually the first time they've talked since before Tianli outed her, even. And Tianli for her part has been feeling guilty but not understanding why. She clearly hasn't grown up. She wants Xiangyuan to tell her she's okay but has no idea that that requires her taking actions to show she knows what happened was wrong and her role in it was wrong. And Xianyuan assumed Tianli had done all that off screen: this was her best friend, someone who kept her secret for years (right up until she didn't). Surely Tianli was a fellow victim of circumstance, right? Nope, she's still in the group chat with the bullies. She's learned nothing, she hasn't actually changed anymore then the rest of them have: "we're adults now so our childhood actions shouldn't matter anymore, right?" That indicates she doesn't regret what she did, she only regrets the consequences of it. No wonder finding out that hit poor Xiangyuan like getting punched in the gut. I'm glad Xiaoen noticed the reaction even though Xiangyuan attempted to hide it, because for her part she thinks being an adult is acting above the actions of children, even if it means ignoring her still unhealed wounds that Tianli just freshly opened once more.
Goddamn, what a powerful chapter.

Do we have any idea why Xingyuan’s family are considered “celebrities,” and the father is regarded negatively by the public?

last edited at Feb 25, 2024 7:43PM

Do we have any idea why Xingyuan’s family are considered “celebrities,” and the father is regarded negatively by the public?

By the sounds of it, they were very rich and influential for the town they lived in. I don't know if we ever learned what the family business was but it was enough for people to fully believe that if Xiangyuan got that study abroad slot it's because her dad basically gave it to her, regardless of the official rules.

I wouldn't call it text, there's some stuff we can interpret as potentially a romantic interest, but it could also be wanting to keep the attention of the cool popular girl who used to be very close to her and has left her behind. And those types of motivations can't explain all the elements in the chapter, like Xingyuan pulling ahead of her in the competition to get the study abroad scholarship Tianli's family was pushing her to get, and Wang, the guy she introduced to us as her crush, wanting Xiangyuan's contact info. She doesn't seem interested in him anymore, but that certainly doesn't mean she can't feel bitter about the thought of her best friend succeeding in yet another area where Tianli did not. And when she remembers Xiangyuan talking about not liking every girl, the image is not from that scene but rather Xiangyuan being popular with girls at school.

She specifically flashes back to Xingyuan saying "Just because I like girls doesn't mean I like every girl I come across." Right before she types a text to her saying "Why don't you care about me?" before hesitating and deleting it. Then she says the line "Why couldn't it be me?"

I mean, that's not just text, it's literally A text. I really don't see that as ambiguous at all. There might be other things going on, but I mean come on, if you're an author, you don't write those events in that sequence unless you're deliberately trying to draw a throughline.

If it weren't for the context I just mentioned, then yeah, maybe "Why couldn't it be me" could be about jealousy, but that context firmly establishes that she has romantic feelings on the brain, that she's upset that TianLi isn't regarding her as special, and that she's heartbroken.

That is unrequited love. I am very confident about this.

last edited at Feb 27, 2024 6:35AM

It's just harder for me to believe that Tianli would deliberately do such a terrible thing to Xiangyuan if she was in love with her, and hadn't even been explicitly rejected, and then stayed friends with the bullies that helped drive her love away. She definitely had some sort of monopolizing desire for Xiangyuan but it was one where she fully thought the ship has already sailed. This makes the study abroad scholarship especially seem like a very important motivator imo.

It's just harder for me to believe that Tianli would deliberately do such a terrible thing to Xiangyuan if she was in love with her, and hadn't even been explicitly rejected, and then stayed friends with the bullies that helped drive her love away. She definitely had some sort of monopolizing desire for Xiangyuan but it was one where she fully thought the ship has already sailed. This makes the study abroad scholarship especially seem like a very important motivator imo.

She might not have even been thinking about it as outing her, she might have been thinking of it as trying to chase Wang away from her. But even if that's not the case, when somebody is hurt, they lash out, and sometimes in the moment children (and I mean, that's the thing, they were children) don't understand the consequences of what they're doing.

It's just harder for me to believe that Tianli would deliberately do such a terrible thing to Xiangyuan if she was in love with her, and hadn't even been explicitly rejected, and then stayed friends with the bullies that helped drive her love away. She definitely had some sort of monopolizing desire for Xiangyuan but it was one where she fully thought the ship has already sailed. This makes the study abroad scholarship especially seem like a very important motivator imo.

She might not have even been thinking about it as outing her, she might have been thinking of it as trying to chase Wang away from her. But even if that's not the case, when somebody is hurt, they lash out, and sometimes in the moment children (and I mean, that's the thing, they were children) don't understand the consequences of what they're doing.

Although it hasn’t been referenced again since it was first said, it still seems relevant that when Xiangyuan first outed herself to Tianli, she told her, “it’s not that big a secret.” That would have helped Tianli rationalize her action as not being “such a terrible thing,” whatever its ultimate motivation.

It's just harder for me to believe that Tianli would deliberately do such a terrible thing to Xiangyuan if she was in love with her, and hadn't even been explicitly rejected, and then stayed friends with the bullies that helped drive her love away. She definitely had some sort of monopolizing desire for Xiangyuan but it was one where she fully thought the ship has already sailed. This makes the study abroad scholarship especially seem like a very important motivator imo.

She might not have even been thinking about it as outing her, she might have been thinking of it as trying to chase Wang away from her. But even if that's not the case, when somebody is hurt, they lash out, and sometimes in the moment children (and I mean, that's the thing, they were children) don't understand the consequences of what they're doing.

I think it's also that Tianli would not have been fully aware of her feelings back then (which that other comments argument seems to suggest). She didn't consciously consider Xianyuan a love interest because she was very confused about her connection to her and also upset at how easily she was discarded.

The Tianli of the past always seemed unsure of herself and questioning many things and it feels like that questioning was pretty broad. So my assumption was always that all these factors led to her lashing out in confusion and harming herself (like a pokemon, it's on my brain now!)

So while she might have been confused and hurt, she also likely wasn't literally thinking "I'm going to hurt my love," because she probably wasn't in a place to realize or accept that her feelings for Xingyuan were a bit different than what she showed for others around her. She has a strong desire to be with Xingyuan that I don't think is explained otherwise, coupled with the other evidence mentioned previously.

last edited at Feb 28, 2024 6:39AM

Well this chapter definitely tugs at the heart

Xiaoen taking care of her girlfriend physically and emotionally. Ugh, I love her.

Dayyym I learned a lot from this chapter.

I love this chapter. Tracy Hu is absolutely incredible at converying emotion and nuance with each panel and the dialogue? chefs kiss I love this chapter because no matter how silly and blase Mu Xiaoen acts she is still an adult, has nearly 30 years under her belt and that does change things--just not in the way a kid might expect. And being protective of her girl? God. This is why I get excited for every new chapter.

Thank you everyone who works on Lass to bring it to us! You make a huge difference in my day

last edited at Mar 3, 2024 8:08AM

To me this chapter reinforces the idea that, for Xingyuan, Tianli did have confused feelings, which were partially responsible for this mess--especially when she's framed as a kind of foil to Xiaoen, a romantic partner. I'd even say it was her, back then. She was already Xingyuan's confidant but wanted to be more, though she didn't know what more meant. She's still unsure of why she was and still is so concerned with Xingyuan's company. She knows her feelings for Xingyuan are unique compared to her feelings for others, yet can't fully put it together. It's unfortunate for her.

last edited at Mar 3, 2024 6:16PM

This was, quite honestly, perfect.

The "Well, now it's between me and her" was so goooood

last edited at Mar 3, 2024 2:09PM

Dayyym I learned a lot from this chapter.

Legit learning some life lessons out here

And she wants to somehow make amends. This matters a lot, by my book. I hate the notion that when you grow up and become an adult you have to forget all the things that happened before because it was just unimportant children silliness. You know, like those assholes were saying in the chat? Thx god Tianli doesn't think like that.

I agree with you and I'm extremely glad that the author is making a point of conscientiously and resolutely rebuke that moronic notion. You find a lot (in comics or films or tv shows) characters who have been hurt or bullied when they were kids and still carry the scars as adults, and everyone tells them "What, you're still sore about that? You pathetic loser. It was just children stuff. Get over it. Grow up." It makes me so mad. It's basic textbook that repressing childhood traumas wrecks you as an adult and takes you straight to the divan of a psychiatrist.

And you thought the author was making a point of it last chapter...

To me this chapter reinforces the idea that, for Xingyuan, Tianli did have confused feelings, which were partially responsible for this mess--especially when she's framed as a kind of foil to Xiaoen, a romantic partner. I'd even say it was her, back then. She was already Xingyuan's confidant but wanted to be more, though she didn't know what more meant. She's still unsure of why she was and still is so concerned with Xingyuan's company. She knows her feelings for Xingyuan are unique compared to her feelings for others, yet can't fully put it together. It's unfortunate for her.

She's one step down a path of self discovery she would have needed to do years ago, back in middle school, for her to have had a chance. Even now she either can't or refuses to name the flavor of feeling she has. She channeled it into spiteful jealousy back then and it's permanently corrupted.
That feels like it's a high demand for a child, especially a potentially queer child, except Xianyuan did it at that age, so Tianli was always doomed due to her inability to meet that pace.

And she wants to somehow make amends. This matters a lot, by my book. I hate the notion that when you grow up and become an adult you have to forget all the things that happened before because it was just unimportant children silliness. You know, like those assholes were saying in the chat? Thx god Tianli doesn't think like that.

I agree with you and I'm extremely glad that the author is making a point of conscientiously and resolutely rebuke that moronic notion. You find a lot (in comics or films or tv shows) characters who have been hurt or bullied when they were kids and still carry the scars as adults, and everyone tells them "What, you're still sore about that? You pathetic loser. It was just children stuff. Get over it. Grow up." It makes me so mad. It's basic textbook that repressing childhood traumas wrecks you as an adult and takes you straight to the divan of a psychiatrist.

And you thought the author was making a point of it last chapter...

I liked chapter 48, but I didn't like chapter 49. Too heavy-handed.

If an author wants to push an author's message, there are better ways than this.

last edited at Mar 4, 2024 3:18PM

"Go Fourth & Find Another Girl" is what I'm hearing here. She can't take back that she outed the girl she (kinda?) liked, but she'll have other opportunities to make new relationships and explore her sexuality.

Just say you're sorry and go, there's nothing else you can do here now...

“It’s not that I’m better than you, that I managed not to destroy anything–rather that it's because I was luckier than you, to only have gone through this test later at a later age.” Such a great quote and summarizes my feelings about Tianli. It's unfortunate. After this chapter, it's clear she's thinking romantically but she’s got to move on. Ship's sailed. Also “Why do you kids believe every bit of nonsense that comes out of Mu Xiaoen's mouth,” is another great line, for those who took Mu Xiaoen's “not serious” seriously. I love her but Mu Xiaoen likes to deflect, deny, and say nonsense every once and a while.

last edited at Mar 4, 2024 3:58PM

I love "Can I not listen to this?" Like ultimately Tianli just wants to make amends and pretty explicitly find a way to get to be with Xingyuan, and like as understandable as that is for her. For Xingyuan it really is just "Can I not listen to this" can this be over, can you stop talking to me (about this).

Like the real problem right now for Xingyuan is that Tianli whether she wants to or not is just tearing the scars of being cast out and forced to drop out of school for being gay, back open over and over and over again every time they talk.

last edited at Mar 4, 2024 3:41PM

Girl needs to just realize this bridge wasn't just burned, but is also built on faulty ground. Might be time to go build one somewhere else.

For Xingyuan it really is just "Can I not listen to this" can this be over, can you stop talking to me (about this).

Also, can you get the hell out of my life and never return? So that I don't have to remember your betrayal every time I look at you? Pretty please?

“Why do you kids believe every bit of nonsense that comes out of Mu Xiaoen's mouth,” is another great line.

It's a line adressed to the readers. I suspect it's not only people in this forum who complained that ch49 was too didactic and heavy-handed in hammering home a takeaway message. Chinese readers must have grumbled too.

I think Tracy Hu is telling the readers: “What message? R U dumb? Don't take as a message any bs that comes out of Xiaoen's ass!”