i wonder if any fights over otps ever get this serious
BL fandoms tend to fight over who's the bottom and who's top in a relationship like this, it's very much real.
Seriously though, OTP order fights are scary. I've seen fandoms war within themselves over this, it was both hilarious and terrifying to watch.
However, I just noticed that BL fangirls fight about this much more than GL and het.
I haven't read much, so maybe I'm just ill-informed, but BL seems... hyper heteronormative. Like, even Yuri isn't entirely free from heteronormativity - consider the rarity of butch/butch pairings - but even with butch/femme pairings, which most closely resemble heterosexual relationships, the characters have more freedom to make up for eachother's short comings in a more organic manner, rather than following some script - one character being The Man and the other being The Woman. One character is more masculine than the other, sure, but both of them are girls/women, and the text is clear on that fact.
I have the same problem when it comes to OTP roles. Do I like it the same or do I prefer reversal? Reversal is a nice change of pace, but sometimes, I can't help but prefer the usual roles. Even when I'm writing. I just can't help it but to write the MC as a bottom just because her girlfriend is a succubus.