Forum › It's Like a Spring Storm discussion
I wonder if the author has seen "The Graduate"
I feel like I should be feeling feelings (especially with the OL tag), but I ain't feelin' it.
I'm confused
Can't even claim I have a problem with the pacing, but the entire concept feels like it's built around, "I can only speak my mind around this person." Beyond that, I totally agree with others who've said the characters are unlikable. Aoi reminds me of a door mat. I'm glad she didn't get married because her husband, even without trying to, would probably have ended up walking all over her. While Chiho comes across as just plain selfish, to the point that she takes advantage of Aoi's pliability while simultaneously complaining about it. Cute for a one-shot, but I don't care enough to come back for a second helping.
Can't even claim I have a problem with the pacing, but the entire concept feels like it's built around, "I can only speak my mind around this person." Beyond that, I totally agree with others who've said the characters are unlikable. Aoi reminds me of a door mat. I'm glad she didn't get married because her husband, even without trying to, would probably have ended up walking all over her. While Chiho comes across as just plain selfish, to the point that she takes advantage of Aoi's pliability while simultaneously complaining about it. Cute for a one-shot, but I don't care enough to come back for a second helping.
I'm just surprised you where able to pick up all that from it. The way it was written, I had no idea what was going on
Well that certainly was something that was written, drawn, published, and eventually scanlated and posted to the site. I really don't know what to say beyond that.
I thought it was cute. :D
^it's just too exaggerated here. Like, first time she decides she's going to get married, she doesn't even know his fucking name. It'd be reasonable to use one of those arranged marriage services, get to know each other a bit, go on a few dates, see if you're at least vaguely compatible (beyond income ^^) and then decide that they'll get married soon. And likewise something like "I'll keep working until we're having our first kid" or something.
We could have had 1 or 2 chapters or so where the two friends become more and more estranged while this happens; maybe have them show some worry or whatnot for each other or ...
But such slow development clearly wasn't dramatic enough for the author.
last edited at Oct 17, 2019 10:29AM
I FUCKING LOVE IT.
Ok it has the mentioned pacing issues but finally a girl who has the metaphorical balls to just rescue her loved one. I wish more yuri protagonists would kick in the door to the church and take away a girl who gets more or less forced into marriage.
It should've gone like this:
chapter 1: introduction to the characters and their situation from both POV and right at the end you throw the "I'm getting married" and "....Eh?"
chapter 2: We get a tons of flashbacks jumping back and forth and show us why should we even care about Chiho because when the other announced her marriage I was happy like "Oh you're gonna get the fuck outta there!" lol and we remove the "his salary is high so he must be a nice guy!" lo/.
But yeah even in the flashbacks, Chiho's personality is just horrible... But in the first place, Aoi's "I don't care about anyone or anything and the world is gray I only like being at home and getting complains from Chiho" doesn't make any sense at all! are you depressed? is bad having a good job or being promoted? is bad having people who like you or just want to be nice with you? geez
I FUCKING LOVE IT.
Ok it has the mentioned pacing issues but finally a girl who has the metaphorical balls to just rescue her loved one. I wish more yuri protagonists would kick in the door to the church and take away a girl who gets more or less forced into marriage.
I admit, is the first time I read a manga or a novel where this actually happens! considering is such a famous classic trope, she actually went and did it (and no one stopped them for some reason hahaha) so you could say that was the best part ...but not with the best choice of characters
last edited at Oct 17, 2019 10:43AM
We could have had 1 or 2 chapters or so where the two friends become more and more estranged while this happens; maybe have them show some worry or whatnot for each other or ...
But such slow development clearly wasn't dramatic enough for the author.
This is probably the first time I've heard someone complain that there's not enough drawn out angst.
my god i loved this, finally there's someone with the guts to steal the bride in the middle of the wedding
This is probably the first time I've heard someone complain that there's not enough drawn out angst.
I'm not of the "instant gratification" crowd. There's no point to anything if there's no proper build up. Insta love sucks, insta power sucks, insta tragedy rarely works ... take your time and establish what the heck is going on. It's basic storytelling.
And, I mean, the chapter is long enough to do something that goes beyond what we got. It doesn't necessarily have to be my random idea, a creative writer no doubt could come up with something more interesting. But still. Sort out the basics. ^^
Thought this was just a One-shot until I saw—
To be continued... in the end. Lol.
Oookayyyy... I actually did not notice the Ch.1 on the title.
last edited at Oct 17, 2019 11:08AM
The husband did nothing wrong, why did you traumatized him like that ruining his wedding in front of his family and friends... Should take your little drama somewhere else, don't get other people involved for selfish reasons.
Edit: wait, reading the comments some say it was a forced marriage her father imposed on her. But in the story it's not clarified is it?
last edited at Oct 17, 2019 11:17AM
tbh I'm more interested in how the author intends to continue from this, and if the narrative pacing is going to get better structured, than anything else in this one atm
The characters being fairly terrible persons isn't a major issue for me, many a good story has been told about quite awful people - my fave opera remains Don Giovanni by Mozart and Da Ponte whose eponymous MC is basically a wholly unrepentant raging sociopath - but it's another question entirely if the author has the chops to make them and their dynamic sufficiently interesting. Jury's still out on that IMO as this was just the rather rushed introductions.
The husband did nothing wrong, why did you traumatized him like that ruining his wedding in front of his family and friends... Should take your little drama somewhere else, don't get other people involved for selfish reasons.
Ah well... What was really hard was the money spend on the ceremony, it was a marriage for convenience because they don't have time to look for a lover, they didn't care for each other or know each other so I don't think he will be traumatized, but of course it's gonna be a topic of conversation for years to come in his circle of friends :x
The way you put it is like saying she should've married him and live unhappy for the rest of her life... That's better than making him feel bad a single day
last edited at Oct 17, 2019 11:18AM
I'm not of the "instant gratification" crowd. There's no point to anything if there's no proper build up. Insta love sucks, insta power sucks, insta tragedy rarely works ... take your time and establish what the heck is going on. It's basic storytelling.
Pretty sure basic storytelling also involves not adding unneccessary information. We have an office lady forcing herself to fit into society, cooky freelancer who's in love with her being all "fuck that", and boom, you have the setup for the series to come, which is the pair developing their post-confession relationship while also dealing with the consequences of their impulsive decisions. It doesn't need any more exposition than that.
Series is ongoing on Yuri-Hime Pixiv with five chapters to date, btw.
I wouldn't have mind the fast pacing if it was a One-shot but as a first chapter it's quite bad.
Pretty sure basic storytelling also involves not adding unneccessary information. We have an office lady forcing herself to fit into society, cooky freelancer who's in love with her being all "fuck that", and boom, you have the setup for the series to come, which is the pair developing their post-confession relationship while also dealing with the consequences of their impulsive decisions. It doesn't need any more exposition than that.
That's like saying that it'd have been for Luke to take a lightsabre and go kill the Evil Emperor on a Death Star. We got a hero with the means, an evil bad guy and a superweapon; now we can have them fight it out and all is well. Everything else is surplus to the story and a waste of time.
And if the author really just needed that much they could have done it in 5 pages. Or maybe 2. One before the marriage and one for them running away at the altar. And I'd probably would have seen that as more legitimate since although I don't like it it's often that first a conflict is established and then afterwards we get to learn what lead up to it and so on. But here we're starting out chronologically so I expect the author to also actually do something with the build up.
But, whatever. Clearly we won't agree. I think this chapter was pretty awful - some others seem to agree - you don't, and some others also don't.
The husband did nothing wrong, why did you traumatized him like that ruining his wedding in front of his family and friends... Should take your little drama somewhere else, don't get other people involved for selfish reasons.
Edit: wait, reading the comments some say it was a forced marriage her father imposed on her. But in the story it's not clarified is it?
While it's true that the husband to be did nothing wrong, he also didn't do anything particularly right. Did he get to know his bride to be well enough to know if she really wanted to marry him? Did he know that she was doing it basically because it was what was expected of her?
On this page:
https://dynasty-scans.com/chapters/its_like_a_spring_storm_ch01#25
she indicates that she's marrying someone she doesn't want to marry, repressing her own feelings, and "being considerate of those around me".
On this page:
https://dynasty-scans.com/chapters/its_like_a_spring_storm_ch01#23
she recalls several times in her life when she was doing similar things, like agreeing to date a guy she didn't like, taking a job she didn't enjoy, or taking a promotion that put responsibilities on her that she didn't want to deal with. She indicates that Chiho was the only person she could really be herself around. I suspect that is because Chiho would never tell her that she was wrong for feeling the way she felt and would call her out when she was lying to herself and giving in to societal pressure to do what was expected of her even if it wasn't something she felt comfortable doing.
I'm guessing that the bottom of that page is how she EXPECTED Chiho to respond, but, as we saw earlier, that wasn't the case. So she's going along with expectations because her sounding board failed her, even though she knows that what she's doing is stupid and that she won't be happy.
I thought the chapter did a decent job of showing the basic dynamics of the relationship between the two protagonists and the character flaws that lead to the runaway bride scenario.
How do u continue this
I'm not of the "instant gratification" crowd. There's no point to anything if there's no proper build up. Insta love sucks, insta power sucks, insta tragedy rarely works ... take your time and establish what the heck is going on. It's basic storytelling.
Pretty sure basic storytelling also involves not adding unneccessary information. We have an office lady forcing herself to fit into society, cooky freelancer who's in love with her being all "fuck that", and boom, you have the setup for the series to come, which is the pair developing their post-confession relationship while also dealing with the consequences of their impulsive decisions. It doesn't need any more exposition than that.
Series is ongoing on Yuri-Hime Pixiv with five chapters to date, btw.
This reads like a rough initial bullet point list of plot points that aren't actually adequately connected to each other and instead are just rattled off one after the other with as little detail as possible to try to set up the end drama within the page limit. I have no emotional investment in these characters because the author made no effort to establish them as characters so the ending just falls flat and I'm left with nothing more than a feeling of "Okay?"
That's like saying that it'd have been for Luke to take a lightsabre and go kill the Evil Emperor on a Death Star. We got a hero with the means, an evil bad guy and a superweapon; now we can have them fight it out and all is well. Everything else is surplus to the story and a waste of time.
Um... no? What you're describing is the end of a trilogy, not the beginning of a story. To use your Star Wars analogy, the beginning constitues a status quo (Luke living on Tatooine / Aoi forcing herself to live what is considered a normal life), a change to that status quo (R2D2 delivering the message from Leia / Chi-chan pulling her out of her arranged marriage) and an established quest (Luke and friend rescueing Leia from Darth Vader / Chi-chan and Aoi starting a new life together). It doesn't really need an extra hour or so of Luke shooting womprats and talking up how great Uncle Owen is.
The husband did nothing wrong, why did you traumatized him like that ruining his wedding in front of his family and friends... Should take your little drama somewhere else, don't get other people involved for selfish reasons.
Edit: wait, reading the comments some say it was a forced marriage her father imposed on her. But in the story it's not clarified is it?
While it's true that the husband to be did nothing wrong, he also didn't do anything particularly right. Did he get to know his bride to be well enough to know if she really wanted to marry him? Did he know that she was doing it basically because it was what was expected of her?
On this page:
https://dynasty-scans.com/chapters/its_like_a_spring_storm_ch01#25
she indicates that she's marrying someone she doesn't want to marry, repressing her own feelings, and "being considerate of those around me".
On this page:
https://dynasty-scans.com/chapters/its_like_a_spring_storm_ch01#23
she recalls several times in her life when she was doing similar things, like agreeing to date a guy she didn't like, taking a job she didn't enjoy, or taking a promotion that put responsibilities on her that she didn't want to deal with. She indicates that Chiho was the only person she could really be herself around. I suspect that is because Chiho would never tell her that she was wrong for feeling the way she felt and would call her out when she was lying to herself and giving in to societal pressure to do what was expected of her even if it wasn't something she felt comfortable doing.
I'm guessing that the bottom of that page is how she EXPECTED Chiho to respond, but, as we saw earlier, that wasn't the case. So she's going along with expectations because her sounding board failed her, even though she knows that what she's doing is stupid and that she won't be happy.
I thought the chapter did a decent job of showing the basic dynamics of the relationship between the two protagonists and the character flaws that lead to the runaway bride scenario.
Well yeah but those are literally her personal issues he has nothing to do with and nigh certainly is entirely unaware of in the first place. This is plainly a rather businesslike marriage of convenience and he basically got entirely screwed over in the transaction through no identifiable fault of his own - but very much because the bride-to-be came with a lot of baggage she didn't check at Customs, so to speak.
We know next to nothing about the chap and probably won't be learning much more in the future but it's plain as day he got shafted on account of the leading ladies' unresolved personal issues he had no part in.
That's just rude both personally and contractually, looking at the abruptly canceled marriage as a fairly dispassionate businesslike arrangement.