This manga is too real. The struggle to do art is too real.
I once wanted to be a professional musician. I went to college for it, actually, but burned out in my 4th semester. Went and did other things but I keep coming back to music, usually I'll get kinda serious for a bit and then circumstances or whatever will happen and I'll stop, then I'll pick it up again... I honestly think my life is a giant waste, that I should have been a musician, but I also know rationally that I would have struggled and probably been poor and probably still have washed out. Well, now I'm back in the cycle of playing, took up piano which I never got any good at in school (I only learned a little bit back in the day).
I struggle a lot with it. I greatly enjoy making music, but it's an obsession sometimes and not always fun. I WANT to be really good, I know how to get there to an extent. Rationally I know there are millions of better musicians, but sometimes I just kinda wish I could be a musician, even if it meant scraping by giving lessons and making less than I do now. I can't justify doing it as more than a hobby but it makes me very frustrated sometimes.
Shimizu has no clue. She draws purely for fun, but isn't trying to "git gud" as they say - she wants to be better, but doesn't want to be a pro. This means she can't make the "god level" drawings she loves, but it also means she isn't falling over on the floor after 48 hours of drawing. I kinda admire how she can just work at her job and have a hobby on the side without getting too obsessive. I can see a bit of where Maekawa is at, enough to know that it can just twist you up inside.