Girls in Boxes
joined Oct 18, 2014
This was a really interesting challenge to translate. I've not had much experience with long-form translation in quite a while, and then I wanted to keep the 'children's book' feel to the language as well...
How'd I do, d'ya think?
I'd throw away all the "-chan"'s. And replace Lin's "Nya" w/ "Meow".
My personal preference is to keep in the name honorifics if it makes sense in context. Japanese schoolgirls? Yes, they get them. Some kind of non-Japanese setting like Ghost in the Shell, for example? It doesn't make much sense here, so I'd probably leave them out. In general, my experience is that people seem to like seeing the honorifics, but I guess this is more of what you personally enjoy.
Also my ideal state would be to go full on cat puns a la Monster Hunter 4U's Felynes, but it is actually rather hard to swing this. Requires a good editor to help me out a lot. And in any case, MH4U's cats say nya, so I think Rin-chan can say nya too. :P
But thank you for your thoughts, honestly, I really do appreciate feedback (I get so little of it).