fuck, the author got the suicidal tone and feel of talking uncomfortably accurate. translators did good too ofc
streamers, idols, anyone hates feeling disposable. Having to sell yourself to people you can't get close to, to make them like you, your personality and all it encompasses, that's horrible. It's like permanently being on the edge of some sort of connection, like a kid that never really gets fully included.
I can't seem to put my thoughts into words about it, but this connects with me on a more fundamental level than "oh, a parasocial relationship, those suck" because it's not just about changing idol interests. She talks about it herself: she met these people, did stuff with them, even let them fuck her, but in the end got mentally disposed of just the same as any graduated idol. Parasocial relationships aren't a real connection, and neither were those. What she wants in the end isn't more parasocial relationships, it's that real connection. Moving on without a thought for her is just a symptom of the problem, not the problem itself.
Really good, made me think about things. Kept from being a total favorite bc the ending could've been a little bit better, but definitely worth the read. Dunno if you can say the same about my rambles, lol.
last edited at Jul 25, 2022 1:47AM