Oof. I'm really feeling Lin Luxi's struggle. It's hard to talk about a parent who seems to do everything right, but also pins all their stuff to you as well. Parents that provide for your needs but have no sense of boundaries with you and haven't processed any of their trauma, how are you gonna complain to others when it seems like you have everything? But it gets inside you and it fucks you up. And it all seems so normal until you get old enough to create some distance...
If anybody else is struggling with this, it's important to remember that people doing right by you in certain ways doesn't give them license to hurt you in others. You are well within your rights to do what you have to do to be okay; contrary to what they want you to believe you are separate people and they don't own you. You get to decide how you want to do your relationships, and what's required for people being close to you. If you try to talk things out but you just can't get through, it may be that your effort is better spent elsewhere. Don't waste your effort trying to convince people not to hurt you; if you've taught them and they keep going ahead anyway, they're not in a space to hear you and change the way they do things in the ways you need, and your next goal is to find ways to take care of yourself or find others to support you.
And if you've been told you're entitled and spoiled and it fucks with your head, you probably aren't, you're just being gaslit.
last edited at Feb 6, 2021 1:26AM