Admittedly, I know nothing about how this doujin started or what plans it’s creator has for it but…
First: I really like the premise. So many potential for hijinks. I’m in love with my best friend who’s in love with me but she doesn’t know it’s me?! Classic. Somebody write the AU fic for Supercorp, thanks!
That being said, I do think it has pacing/progression issues. Maybe it’s really just intended to be a hijinks ensues scenario, an eternal will she-won’t she find out. Each chapter isn’t a chapter, but a (more or less) self-contained one-shot that’s meant to be seen on the author’s dash sporadically. Maybe the only reason why we’re craving character/relationship progression is because we’re seeing all the chapters together, numbered, and we’re capable of quickly binging it. (Unless, of course, if it’s being uploaded in its original form the same way… in which case… never mind, I’m sorry, I know nothing.)
However, if the intent was for this story to have development and eventual resolution… I can see why you might wanna draw it out longer… How do you sustain the story when it’s progressed past what the title says the story is about?
(I’m not saying it’s impossible to continue the story. I’m sure any good writer can come up with further bikinis after the discovery before letting the story reach it’s natural conclusion and maybe starting anew with a different premise post-discovery like… a spin-off with the friend’s POV, a spin-off with the waitress’s POV, a sequel that’s just them navigating being really gay for each other and all the bikinis that comes with having a gf who’s a vtuber… man idk)
Point is… at about 10-12 chapters in, you kinda expect for it to have some sort of progress. Continue with the hijinks on that level of progress for the next couple of chapters, get to the next level of relationship progression. Then continue with that level of progression… until you reach the conclusion where secrets all out, they’re dating, yadda yadda… what have you. (Think… “Please, Bully Me Miss Villainess!” … Sure, Evie’s being dense but we see an unraveling of her denseness, a reason behind she’s being pointedly obtuse, and a slow stumbling into the reality that she likes Elsa and Elsa does like her!) (If that explanation makes sense. Please it’s like 5am I got up to use the bathroom and made the mistake of bringing my
Phond.)
All I’m saying is, 24 chapters in where you’re stuck where you begun is at least 10 chapters too long not to have gotten somewhere