I was annoyed when reading this about how blatantly predictable the twist was gonna be. And then it came and I was like "yep".

But then double twist, the twist wasn't actually a twist! Pretty clever haha

Nice twist to the twist

Well...not bad.

Wow, I must be pretty genre blind because that twist came out as a genuine twist for me.
And then it became a double twist when it untwisted itself. That was amusing.

Ok...saw that coming, didn't see the return boomerang twist though!

That was really amusing! I hope I see more stories like these XD

Wow, I must be pretty genre blind because that twist came out as a genuine twist for me.
And then it became a double twist when it untwisted itself. That was amusing.

That's a major issue with the argument of 'cliche'. It doesn't take much analyzing to see that every story has been told in every which way possible. So inevitably a story may speak wonders of new beauty to one yet seem trite and overdone to another. It all depends on execution, and how our predetermined bias comes to fruition in the middle of a story.

Philosophy and psychology aside, I liked this. But it just left a decent bit to be desired.

last edited at Jan 20, 2015 4:45PM

Very cute, but also very short. I wish there was more to it.

I expect there will be. It certainly doesn't have a one-shot feel to it, more like one of those "pilot for a series" pseudo-oneshots. I mean, there's no real resolution of plot or anything, just introduction of a few characters and their situation. If it gets one the problem for me will likely be a lack of progress; it has that shounen-ish feel to it that says "Lots of stuff will happen but it will be mostly filler and every forward step will be forgotten a couple chapters later so they can do it again". With luck I'm wrong.

last edited at Jan 20, 2015 5:01PM

Definitely caught me slipping with the twist on the twist, lol.

The twist was expected. The untwist was not. =w=

Can't believe this is just a one shot...

Wow, I must be pretty genre blind because that twist came out as a genuine twist for me.
And then it became a double twist when it untwisted itself. That was amusing.

That's a major issue with the argument of 'cliche'. It doesn't take much analyzing to see that every story has been told in every which way possible. So inevitably a story may speak wonders of new beauty to one yet seem trite and overdone to another. It all depends on execution, and how our predetermined bias comes to fruition in the middle of a story.

It's also a great word when you want to sound smart and critical, but without the requirement of saying anything substantial.

that was pretty good xD though want to see more... :p can be definitely be a series

If this was the first chapter of a series I'd say it has potential, but as a one-shot it didn't accomplish much

Why do I get the feeling that there's a twist to the twist of the twist? I really hope there's more!

Nobody expects the surprise twist from the bait twist!

...I fell for the bait twist, it seems.

Omg XD It caught me off guard twice. I never remember the cliche so I actually never expect the first one. Then the second one hit me, well done author!

Lol, nope she's not a ghost. It was kinda disappointing tht they didn't kiss at in he wind scene but oh well. I'd like to know more about the "jumper" ghost. It was cute. ^.^

i got creep-ed out a little i thought there was going to be a twist but it turned out to be a diff. twist you know what i mean jeje i think -_- i'm confusing myself lol

Wow, I must be pretty genre blind because that twist came out as a genuine twist for me.
And then it became a double twist when it untwisted itself. That was amusing.

That's a major issue with the argument of 'cliche'. It doesn't take much analyzing to see that every story has been told in every which way possible. So inevitably a story may speak wonders of new beauty to one yet seem trite and overdone to another. It all depends on execution, and how our predetermined bias comes to fruition in the middle of a story.

It's also a great word when you want to sound smart and critical, but without the requirement of saying anything substantial.

+1

I must be slow then because both twist hit me like a mack truck.

Wow, I must be pretty genre blind because that twist came out as a genuine twist for me.
And then it became a double twist when it untwisted itself. That was amusing.

That's a major issue with the argument of 'cliche'. It doesn't take much analyzing to see that every story has been told in every which way possible. So inevitably a story may speak wonders of new beauty to one yet seem trite and overdone to another. It all depends on execution, and how our predetermined bias comes to fruition in the middle of a story.

It's also a great word when you want to sound smart and critical, but without the requirement of saying anything substantial.

Ouch... lol.

I thought it was really cute, I really liked Miyacchi too, she's adorable. The twist-un-twist was pretty neat too.

haha nice one

last edited at Jan 20, 2015 9:22PM