By that same token those who like to label people as "tops" or "bottoms" are just as arrogant to assume they also speak for the entire gay community.
I don't follow? If individual Y asserts that individual X is top or bottom, it is usually in reference to a current situation ("X is topping here") or general observable pattern ("X apparently likes to top"/"X is top"). The "label" is applied to individual X, not any group of people, by individual Y, speaking for him/herself, not for any kind of group unless specified otherwise or spoken in a representative function.
Thus I really don't get the notion that "those people" assume they are speaking "for the entire gay community" in any sense. They are not talking about a group, nor do they represent a group. Furthermore, the "Top/Bot"-dynamic exists regardless of sexuality, and the categories aren't to be seen as prescriptive/restrictive, but descriptive of patterns and tendencies.
Case in point, though: It is explicitly stated that Kanda directed their first sexual interactions (https://dynasty-scans.com/chapters/handsome_girl_and_sheltered_girl_ch11#18), so the assertion that Kanda is probably a top is not exactly unreasonable or far-fetched, although we have only a limited dataset to draw conclusions from. The assumption that Ookuma is a "natural bottom", on the other hand, is not only based on her usual behaviour as "going with the flow" and her apparently letting Kanda be in charge in the sexual encounters we'd seen before chapter 12. She seems to be topping in Ch. 12, which coincides with an alcohol-induced personality flip and is portrayed as something atypical, out-of-character for her. The assessment that this was something exceptional further reinforces the idea that Ookuma is usually a bottom.
And now please tell me how I said anything about any group of people (>2) or representing any group of people.
As a rule of thumb if you want to label yourself "top" or "bottom" and somebody gives you shit for it, they can go screw themselves, but conversely if you try to label somebody else with those terms and they find it offensive then you're the one that needs to shut the Hell up.
Mind you we're not technically labelling people here. We are applying attributes to fictional characters based on observed "behaviour".
Also if someone "finds it offensive" that they're being labeled "wrongly" they need to take a deep breath and be ready to explain why they think the label was applied wrongly, because there's probably a good reason why the "incorrect" label appeared applicable to the other. You're not required to "shut the hell up" because someone's offended, but you should absolutely question what you said and why it was perceived as offensive, and maybe reevaluate your stance based on new information. The truth sometimes offends, so instead of "shut the hell up" I'd recommend finding out what actually went wrong.
It's a bit like the crux of the whole transgender debate. It comes down to simple manners that you should not refer to someone in a manner they find derogatory unless it is your intent to spit in their face at which point you shouldn't be surprised when things go terribly wrong afterwards.
I agree insofar that the "intent to exclusively offend" is where I no longer see the need to protect an utterance as "free speech". This is different from being provocative and cheeky in order to drive forward a debate or make a point. I don't think the serious parts of the "trans" debate revolve around preferred pronouns anymore, though.
last edited at Sep 4, 2020 6:49AM