Wow...and suddenly A LOT of us readers can actually relate to this. . .
Recently, I had to give up on a relationship. That woman meant the world to me. Even know I still have feelings for her, but she hasn't come out yet nor does she have any intention of coming out yet. In her own words: "Maybe, I will come out when my parents die."
Such a sad reality to live by. In time I began to think, "I love her, but-"
There was never a but before. My love for her never had doubts, but after she tried to take her own life and still decided to remain the same, I felt that though she failed in taking her own life, she succeeded in killing something within me.
I felt a part of me died, maybe it was my confidence in making her happy, maybe the hope in us working out, but now I am too afraid to love her and continuing what we had. After a month of being in a heavy depressed state, a month of abusing alcohol (I am an alcohol) and putting my own health at little care, I spoke to family members and friends and decided to move on.
"I love you, but, you aren't good for my health. I love you, but, your actions showed me I AM NOT THE ONE for you. I love you, but, I am too afraid to love you."
I don't regret moving on, but it still does suck to give up on someone you loved and envisioned yourself marrying some day, all because they didn't have the courage to come out.
I was in a similar situation and I feel you so much. Thanks for sharing and showing that these issues really do happen.. I wish the best to you in your future endeavors