I can never understand the plot of works written by this artist. It always felt like they introduce a plot point then it's straight to banging. Plus, I always feel uncomfortable about their art. Something just feels off. But alas, my love for Age Gap required I still read through their works.
Edit: Also just now realised that the author named the school after themself.
The dialogue in this thing is genius. For example
"I'll fall for you." "What?" "Thanks."
Or
"Were you waiting for me?" "I'm going to kiss you for that." "Your lips seem pretty soft."
etc
The dialogue in this thing is genius. For example
"I'll fall for you." "What?" "Thanks."
Or
"Were you waiting for me?" "I'm going to kiss you for that." "Your lips seem pretty soft."
etc
Yeah, I couldn't tell if that was a translation issue or a writing issue. Everything is so bizarrely disconnected that it's like the two characters are speaking different languages.
What a pity: you can still feel very well how much it is a world-changing experience for the young one. It's often there in this author's work, and it's very cool. I would like this feeling with Tomisawa Chinatsu's art. Which DOESN'T show that eternal puddle of fluids... Very clean way to show sex, really. As for proportions, it seems correct too, see with Netafuri Mother (mother/son). Too bad this artist doesn't give off that "magic" feeling... Characters just seem to get off and that's all ?
The dialogue in this thing is genius. For example
"I'll fall for you." "What?" "Thanks."
Or
"Were you waiting for me?" "I'm going to kiss you for that." "Your lips seem pretty soft."
etc
Unfortunately economical, flirtatious exchanges where the nuance is really important suffer badly in translation.
I can never understand the plot of works written by this artist. It always felt like they introduce a plot point then it's straight to banging. Plus, I always feel uncomfortable about their art. Something just feels off. But alas, my love for Age Gap required I still read through their works.
Edit: Also just now realised that the author named the school after themself.
I feel your problems with the author. But this is one of their better works, I guess. Or maybe my love for age gap and cute romance made my mind edit some parts into the story. xD
The dialogue was... strange! But the girls are lovely and they look realistic, which is a big plus!
I love how the younger one tries to dress more maturely, lolz! It's very cute.
Seems like it used to be longer, but got cut down? idk
I kinda didn't understand a thing about what was happening between those two. Except the sex.
The translation or the plot?
The story's good, but I don't think I would have been able to understand it properly from reading the translation.
The key thing about it is that the basis they establish for why they're meeting up is that the girl is helping the teacher get over her break up. Even when they have sex the first time, that's still the basis they're on, which is important because the teacher then ends that relationship by saying she's fine now. Their romantic relationship starts properly once the girl is in the teacher's home, with no excuse that it's something else.
The dialogue in this thing is genius. For example
"I'll fall for you." "What?" "Thanks."
Or
"Were you waiting for me?" "I'm going to kiss you for that." "Your lips seem pretty soft."
etc
Yeah, I couldn't tell if that was a translation issue or a writing issue. Everything is so bizarrely disconnected that it's like the two characters are speaking different languages.
??? Seemed pretty obvious to me. Yoshioka throws the "I'll fall for/kiss you" lines as a somewhat sardonic joke with an undertone along the lines of "jeez, you're giving a lady ideas" - and Ookawa takes her up on it. Seems to become a bit of a running gag between them.
How real people talk would an sich look pretty fucking awful in writing you know... Anyway, the dialog here is condensed snapshots whose purpose is to illustrate the characters' personalities and (developing) relationship, not portray "real" chitchat. There's only so much you have room to fit in ca. 24 pages after all particularly when half are needed for wild monkey sex.
Wth is so confusing? It's obvious it was just a bunch of semi random moments of them during the time they were getting together. Yes it was an uncommon storyboard of sorts, but it wasn't exactly difficult to understand. And as 'random' pointed out, the story was more of a narrative.
I don't think anybody's arguing that it's confusing, just poorly written. Not like I should be expecting Romeo and Juliet from Asagi Ryuu, I guess, but the first few conversations between our gal pals here barely make sense.