Forum › Our Journey to Lesbian Motherhood discussion

Madame_Firenze
76047650-352-k633682
joined Jul 17, 2015

Yuusuke is a bro.

Sin%20t%c3%adtulo-min
joined Sep 28, 2011

"It's not about just me anymore. This involves them too"...
Fuck damn it, that was beautiful. I came here because cute mature love between two women. I was not expecting this wonderful phrase

Yuu
joined Mar 28, 2015

Well, it's understandable. His parents would be quite baffled if they had a grand child they can't see.

Blood relation is not something you can ignore easily.

That's why, as I said, an official anonymous donor is better.

Though I guess, in Japan, if you are not an heterosexual couple having fertility problems, access to a sperm bank would be difficult.

American_virgin
joined May 25, 2014

Yeah, my wife and I skipped the known donor route for several reasons. One was a lack of reliable male friends. :-/

Sin%20t%c3%adtulo-min
joined Sep 28, 2011

Honestly, this is such a pure and helpful book. I do believe it's doing wonders for the LGBT community in Japan. It's not just some history. It's a real history, dealt with such care and love. When we first saw the tags, we all were quite happy. But now it's gone beyond that even. I hope this becomes a go-to book for people in similar situations

Roomfortwo
joined Feb 11, 2014

Personally, I don't really see the need for the donor to be involved this much with the kid. Somehow, the way this manga puts it gives me the feeling they don't feel their family would be "complete" with just the two of them. That's their opinion and it's fine, but it kinda seems to shut out the "donor doesn't need to be involved" path a bit too much for my taste. ^^;

Well, I do understand why they want to know the donor, but wanting him to get involved and this deeply ? Not so much.

Still an interesting read.

Lifecharacter
Canaan2
joined May 9, 2013

I really don't like how this is pushing the apparent need to have the sperm donor personally involved in the child's life. I could understand the practical issues with Japan not really allowing homosexual couples to use more official sources of donated sperm, but the donor does not need to be intimately involved with a child's life. As much as it pushes the idea that the child will apparently experience an existential crisis if it doesn't know who the sperm donor is, what's the impact going to be when you tell the child "that's your father, no he's not your parent, we're your parents"?

Other people have said it already, but it comes across as if they don't just want to have a child, they want to have an "uncle" who'll always be there for them and their child but will be required to keep enough of an emotional distance that he doesn't eventually want to become more involved in his child's life.

Your_hair_has_gotten_longer_by_folksneedheroes-d5l5v69
joined Apr 23, 2015

Very nice. Got the "feels" a few times there. Not many yuri can say that 'bout me! Guess it can happen when they are about something other than high school kids. Ribbing aside, this has been nice and enlightening. Even game me some insight on the role of donors that stick around with the example of that American family.

joined May 24, 2014

I don't get why they would want the donor to be so involved, I mean he could turn out to be an asshole that could steal their kid just like that! ... Dumbasses

Hinataskype
joined May 26, 2011

I definitely don't see the appeal of having a donor being involved, it just seems uncomfortable. If a child has a caring, loving family they likely would never even really care who their donor is. just because you have two parents of the same gender doesn't mean you need an outsider to be the mother/father figure which is what this seems to be implying in some regard. personally, I wouldn't want a donor being involved in my child's life because a donor, imo, is not equivalent to a parent or family member. I suppose I understand people feeling like they do in this story, but in that case it seems like you want someone else to take care of the kid too instead of just you being the parents.

I enjoy this series but admittedly this chapter was hard to read.

20220118_232511_50
joined Jun 3, 2015

Yo isn't there a way for two mother's to get pregnant without the use of a donor sperm? I believe it's some new genetic development I was reading about.

They're working on creating artificial sperm/egg cells it but it's all very experimental right now. I'd wager lesbian science daughters are still almost decade away.

Nezchan Moderator
Meiling%20bun%20150px
joined Jun 28, 2012

Yo isn't there a way for two mother's to get pregnant without the use of a donor sperm? I believe it's some new genetic development I was reading about.

They're working on creating artificial sperm/egg cells it but it's all very experimental right now. I'd wager lesbian science daughters are still almost decade away.

I'd put it even further out, given that even if they did manage viability they still have to deal with long-term issues before they'd let people anywhere near the technology.

Kinchan%20drawing%20maru%20%20dfhgsdhfsdhgsdf%20i%20lov%20e
joined Dec 21, 2015

Aww, cute chapter. I really like the idea of a big 'extended family' type of relationship with a donor, it seems really nice.

Roomfortwo
joined Feb 11, 2014

Yo isn't there a way for two mother's to get pregnant without the use of a donor sperm? I believe it's some new genetic development I was reading about.

They're working on creating artificial sperm/egg cells it but it's all very experimental right now. I'd wager lesbian science daughters are still almost decade away.

I'd put it even further out, given that even if they did manage viability they still have to deal with long-term issues before they'd let people anywhere near the technology.

Yeah, considering how some countries already don't want to allow artificial insemination for lesbian couples, even married, I can see a lot of hurdle to pass even if that technology somehow work properly.

Icon%20(4)
joined Jan 20, 2014

I'm glad to see I'm not the only who don't like the idea of have a donor so much involve with your child life. If someone like that idea, go for it; I, personally, like more the idea of if I/I and my partner want a child, I/WE have it. I mean, in cases like adoption it's like impossible to know how your mother/father is xD I suposse exist people who really need to know that urge but the most important thing it's take care of your child, even if isn't "your", because this world is full of people who have a child and don't do this.
The Kids are Allright made so much damage! x'D

Nezchan Moderator
Meiling%20bun%20150px
joined Jun 28, 2012

I'm glad to see I'm not the only who don't like the idea of have a donor so much involve with your child life. If someone like that idea, go for it; I, personally, like more the idea of if I/I and my partner want a child, I/WE have it. I mean, in cases like adoption it's like impossible to know how your mother/father is xD I suposse exist people who really need to know that urge but the most important thing it's take care of your child, even if isn't "your", because this world is full of people who have a child and don't do this.
The Kids are Allright made so much damage! x'D

In a lot of jurisdictions it's considered your right to have access to your own adoption records. It's not uncommon these days to be able to discover who your birth parents are. Many governments keep detailed records that are available to those requesting them.

joined Aug 4, 2014

Well, that was pretty weird. If you want to start a family with child on your own, why would you want to throw another person you're not even in any kind of relationship in the mix? It's not like there's something necessery wrong with that, it's simply surprising that they both so inclined to this idea, cosidering that their friend never said he won't support them, he simply won't donate, so nothing against him being that "part-time father" they want so much.

Icon%20(4)
joined Jan 20, 2014

I'm glad to see I'm not the only who don't like the idea of have a donor so much involve with your child life. If someone like that idea, go for it; I, personally, like more the idea of if I/I and my partner want a child, I/WE have it. I mean, in cases like adoption it's like impossible to know how your mother/father is xD I suposse exist people who really need to know that urge but the most important thing it's take care of your child, even if isn't "your", because this world is full of people who have a child and don't do this.
The Kids are Allright made so much damage! x'D

In a lot of jurisdictions it's considered your right to have access to your own adoption records. It's not uncommon these days to be able to discover who your birth parents are. Many governments keep detailed records that are available to those requesting them.

For that I said "it's like" :P I know people who adopt their child in China and her daughter asked at first where are your real parents but when she grew up she understood that it's imposible to know. I suposse now it's common to have that records in some countries, but I doubt of that info in some cases and that clearly don't exist in some parts.

Yuu
joined Mar 28, 2015

Meh. I can see why someone raised in an unusual family (which they are bound to notice at some point, more or less early), would want to have that information.

As much as I wish women could have children without men, this is not the case yet.

And to know your own origin is part of your identity.

Doesn't mean the father has to be a part of the family. Just that this info is available should be enough.

As for the family where the two lesbians have a sperm donor, who has his own family and they are all a big family, I think it's an illusion. I think the guy, deep down, sees it as his harem (it's obviously an American : he has a cap, short pants and is half shaved).

Gits-innocence4
joined Sep 22, 2013

Regarding involvement of sperm-donor:
It's all personal-preference, yo'!
The couple involved in the manga would prefer the donor to be someone they know, so they break-down why at is and what would be ideal for them.
If someone wants the donor to be entirely anonymous and never involved? That's kewl, too! Just gotta preach the acceptance of individual preference. ^ ^

Nevri Uploader
Rosmontis
Nevrilicious Scans
joined Jun 5, 2015

Navidson92 posted:

Regarding involvement of sperm-donor:
It's all personal-preference, yo'!
The couple involved in the manga would prefer the donor to be someone they know, so they break-down why at is and what would be ideal for them.
If someone wants the donor to be entirely anonymous and never involved? That's kewl, too! Just gotta preach the acceptance of individual preference. ^ ^

The thing is it's not only a personal preference but it also has big influence on the child upbringing. As was mentioned already sperm-donor being involved more than just donating sperm is already pretty alarming with all the messages it sends, but to me what is the most annoying about it, is that it suggest 2 lesbians can't be good parents, and in order to rise a functional, normal kid, you have to have man around as well. Honestly to me, involving him will only make things more complicated for child to understand, than if they simply had 2 mothers. So I have a father but he is not my father, but he still is my father, but he doesn't live with us, but he sometimes come to visit? I can imagine it messing kid more than having gay parents.

last edited at Jun 1, 2017 7:46AM

Yuu
joined Mar 28, 2015

Nevri posted:
So I have a father but he is not my father, but he still is my father, but he doesn't live with us, but he sometimes come to visit? I can imagine it messing kid more than having gay parents.

And I can imagine it having no effect at all, because they talked things out, explained them clearly and the people around are accepting it.

So, in my opinion, it's all about the choices the mothers make and how they handle it. Just like any parents actually. If you don't make too many mistakes, your kids should turn out alright, although there are many factors And lesbians can be bad parents too. Mistakes when raising a child are not reserved to heterosexual couples.

So, there's no right answer here. That there's a male around can be a good, or a bad thing, depending on a myriad of reasons.

Yumi%20sachiko%20kiss%201
joined Apr 6, 2017

I wanted punch the bf out..... Thing is I can kind see where he was coming from but he was still a total dick about it and had a whole me first and only I matter attitude.

Considering Japan's birthrate issues you'd think they be clearing the way for anyone who wants to have a kid to have them.

last edited at Jun 22, 2017 8:12AM

T%e1%ba%a3i%20xu%e1%bb%91ng
joined Mar 20, 2017

I wanted punch the bf out..... Thing is I can kind see where he was coming from but he was still a total dick about it and had a whole me first and only I matter attitude.

Considering Japan's birthrate issues you'd think they be clearing the way for anyone who wants to have a kid to have them.

Try imagine he's a wife that can't have kids, can you understand his feeling now?

Yuu
joined Mar 28, 2015

I wanted punch the bf out..... Thing is I can kind see where he was coming from but he was still a total dick about it and had a whole me first and only I matter attitude.

Considering Japan's birthrate issues you'd think they be clearing the way for anyone who wants to have a kid to have them.

I don't see why he'd agree readily to his s/o having a child with someone else and being totally shut out.

As poster above said, imagine him being the infertile wife of a sperm donor. That she'd wish this child to be hers too is understandable.

He's as much the father of this hypothetical child than the non-carrying mother of the lesbian couple would be her mother.

last edited at Jun 22, 2017 10:17AM

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