Forum › Even When a Stray Lamb is Weary discussion

Img-thing%20copy
joined Sep 15, 2016

People here really love classifying characters. Specially in Bloom Into You, people pullin stuff right out of their asses.

Could it possibly be... just maaaybe... someone who has just never fallen in love before? Who maaaybe will someday?

And then there is that too :P - I agree totally on that point. People do love classifying and I tend to go with the flow as I'm always up for discussion and creating assumptions but even then, at the end, only the artist/creator knows what they intended to do. I think it's interesting to see how people view things differently though. The same thing can be perceived in different ways.

Dynasty%20necromancer
joined Mar 6, 2014

Next stop is XXX?
O-Oh my God... direct sequel pls

E065_1
joined Dec 3, 2015

shoo shweett

2015-01-21%2018.42.01
joined May 17, 2014

Could it possibly be... just maaaybe... someone who has just never fallen in love before? Who maaaybe will someday?

And then there is that too :P - I agree totally on that point. People do love classifying and I tend to go with the flow as I'm always up for discussion and creating assumptions but even then, at the end, only the artist/creator knows what they intended to do. I think it's interesting to see how people view things differently though. The same thing can be perceived in different ways.

I personally dont really like debating issues of communities I'm not personally involved in, like trans, genderfluid, and ace/axe, because my lack of involvement prevents me from fully understanding it in a way where I can express my though from school the point of my ignorance while avoiding offending those who these issues reach directly.

That being said I also feel regarding these characters falling in love in stories which love did not exist for them before, perhaps they weren't meant to portray ace/ axe but nodding to those issues while portraying a different character type all together, the dandere. Although the resemblance only really applies to romance, perhaps these authors are simply taking a more extreme and realistic version of this character troupe instead of the usual "dandere falls in love with the first person she meets (MC)." That's my interpretation at least.

last edited at Sep 22, 2016 10:35AM

2x2-shinobuden-m001
joined Dec 14, 2014

I think that more than the having characters being ace/aro - lately they are making more ace/demi characters... but that aside, just cause a character is ace, it doesn't mean they can't find "the one". Not all ace are aro too. I think that most people who make ace characters find "the one" are just trying to draw their idea of "happy ending" for an ace. While I agree that it may be a bit of a inconsideration to some ace, I believe that it can also be a relating idea to some. A lot of ace do want to find "the one" aswell, but that's cause they're interested in the "emotional bond" of the relation, not the "sexual aspect" a relation can have.

I'm ace myself, and personally I do like these kind of stories. From my side, even if I'm an ace, I also do have an "interest" in other girls, though my "concept" of "interest" is different from the "norm". I'm saying it that way cause a lot of my friends don't understand this, and personally I could relate a lot with the thoughts that the main character was having. At times you do get those thoughts, and you crave for a person to understand you or to try and explain to you these things you "can't understand".

This was an interesting read. I understood that. Thank you!

Anime-anime-boy-black-and-white-boy-favim.com-1570867
joined May 7, 2014

The warm of true love. Aww the feel was so real...

joined Jul 26, 2016

literally the plot of "Bloom Into You" without all the BS XD

I'd describe it as a more intimate and introspective take on the same basic idea as this, personally.

Img-thing%20copy
joined Sep 15, 2016

I personally dont really like debating issues of communities I'm not personally involved in, like trans, genderfluid, and ace/axe, because my lack of involvement prevents me from fully understanding it in a way where I can express my though from school the point of my ignorance while avoiding offending those who these issues reach directly.

I respect that. I'll be honest, not exactly sure how to put it, but most times I'm more interested in knowing other people's perspectives rather than the debate itself - the way people react, reason, behave, think, respond - it picks a lot my interest. I do get involved in certain debate issues i'm not fully involved in not only for those reasons, but also cause I want to understand for multiple reasons. I do stay careful though cause I don't want my words to hurt anyone as they have no ill intention in them. I have various friends who fall in those communities and getting to know their view on such issues is interesting too. I know it's pretty much impossible to fully understand, but I still try. All this aside, another reason I involve myself into such debates is cause knowing all these things also helps with creating relate-able characters.

This was an interesting read. I understood that. Thank you!

I'm glad I was of some help x3

2015-01-21%2018.42.01
joined May 17, 2014

@Nyamsas I agree with you completely, many of these things I'd like to understand more too though doubt i ever truly will.
Despite this there are many who can't handle an intellectual debate, those who don't wish to understand the opposing side or difference of opinion, due to lack of objectivity. Because of this there many times which its easier to avoid the subject all together.

Img-thing%20copy
joined Sep 15, 2016

@Nyamsas I agree with you completely, many of these things I'd like to understand more too though doubt i ever truly will.
Despite this there are many who can't handle an intellectual debate, those who don't wish to understand the opposing side or difference of opinion, due to lack of objectivity. Because of this there many times which its easier to avoid the subject all together.

Indeed, that is true. It doesn't even have to be a "difficult topic"... Even the simplest topic, you will various times find some who aren't willing to accept that other people can have different opinions and just try to impose theirs. In that case, yeah it would be better to simply avoid the subject all together -~- .. We all have different views and different opinions, all based from different unique experiences and thoughts too. It's a bit... sadden... when people can't accept that =/

Screenshot%20(107)
joined Dec 27, 2014

Me likey.:)

Purple Library Guy
Kare%20kano%20joker
joined Mar 3, 2013

What did ace stand for again? I get an idea from context, but there are a few relevant terms that start with "a" and it's much harder to look up acronyms on the internet than actual words.

Frankly, in general I suspect that asexual, a-romantic and so on people are going to find few stories about themselves and even fewer that don't feature them changing in ways that annoy them--not just because of being a minority, but because the nature of narrative is against them. Fiction is driven by conflict and emotional relationships, so people whose distinguishing characteristic is not being into a particular kind of emotional relationship and the conflicts those relationships give rise to, don't make good fiction. It's like the way there are so many more stories about fighters than pacifists--and even the stories about pacifists, are nearly always about the conflicts caused by the existence of pacifists in situations of combat, not about pacifists just enjoying a peaceful existence not fighting. Cause, like, that would be boring. Similarly, there just isn't much to a story that goes, "Once upon a time there was a person who wasn't into romantic relationships and she lived a reasonably happy single life pursuing things other than romance, the end."

There are characters who are either tacitly (lots of these) or fairly definitely (not as many) a-romantic in fiction, but it's other kinds of fiction, where the main focus is on action of some sort rather than personal relationships. Take Sherlock Holmes, for instance. Or most old fashioned cowboy movies.

last edited at Sep 22, 2016 10:51PM

Nezchan Moderator
Meiling%20bun%20150px
joined Jun 28, 2012

Ace is asexual. Sound it out, you'll see why.

2
joined Mar 11, 2016

This was a nice story. Exactly the kind of fluffy and pure stuff that I wanted. Thumbs up. :)

Purple Library Guy
Kare%20kano%20joker
joined Mar 3, 2013

Ace is asexual. Sound it out, you'll see why.

Ah. That would explain why I was having trouble assigning words to what I took as initials. OK, got it.

The ways people describe this stuff is shifting too fast for me these days.

Nep
joined Apr 28, 2016

that was lame
3/10

Vegitab%20profile%20pic%20smoll%20tumblr
joined Sep 21, 2014

Ace is asexual. Sound it out, you'll see why.

I've been pronouncing asexual wrong in English this whole time TTvTT

last edited at Sep 25, 2016 6:44PM

Rosmontis
Nevrilicious Scans
joined Jun 5, 2015

I liked it a lot. I really could get behind Meiko and her insecurity with not feeling anything for anyone and I liked how her character was portrayed in general. The way she was interacting with Hiro was really funny too. Also the way she snapped and started demanding answers was really good too.

About aromantic thing. I'm not fan of labels myself. To me, especially in young age, calling yourself aromantic or asexual etc. is just drawing a hard line and limiting yourself. Sure you can really feel that way, but especially as teen you can't really be sure cos your experience is really limited. And I know it annoys people, but "you just didn't meet the right person yet" is a valid argument. Imagine if you consider yourself aromantic and then you suddenly meet the person you fallen for. That would be a big hit to your identity. And honestly, call yourself what you want, but to me being asexual or demisexual or demiromantic is just being yourself. Everyone is different, and everyone experience this stuff differently. There probably could be easily as much labels as people. You don't need or put a lot emphasis on sex? Cool I don't see a issue with that way of thinking. I don't think sex is the most important thing as well. You need strong connection to experience romantic/sexual feelings? Again, everyone is different. I actually really dislike idea of love at first sight so to me building strong connection and then naturally falling for someone is how love should work and I experienced it before. Again even those labels vary from person to person and instead of focusing on them too much, people should just live the way it is natural to them.

That being said, Meiko did give me clear aromantic feel. I guess I become influenced by all the discussion going on other threads, but I really become curious to read a actual aromantic/asexual story. And this one seemed like it would actually be a proper one people so much wanted to read. I'm not really well verse in those issues so I might not understand it properly, but the way she thoughts really come as she is unable to understand the feeling of love or excitement so she felt like was as broken and tried to date all those people to see if she can fix it. That is the impression I got, cos why else she would keep on saying ok to everyone? She herself even thought that she doesn't understand it so she doesn't think too much about it. So it seems to me like a clear case of someone aromantic trying to date because that is normal thing to do and force herself to feel like everyone else. Hiro's speech did go for "you are already changing", but she also did the "I will accept you the way you are, all your worries etc." so it still kinda felt, like story could be going for end with Hiro accepting Meiko might not love her, but she will stick to her anyway. I'm not arguing w/e it is health or not for both sides. Just I felt that is what the conclusion of this story will be. I thought it would be cool if Meiko indeed was aromantic or even just asexual. But of course it turned out that Meiko realized she already fallen for Hiro, or at least become attracted to her, during confession. So she definitely isn't aromantic, but I'm cool with that, because as it was mentioned before, this story is really similar to A Violet at Zero Degrees Kelvin, which I really liked.

last edited at Sep 26, 2016 1:04PM

Chinatsu%202
joined Jan 27, 2016

About aromantic thing. I'm not fan of labels myself. To me, especially in young age, calling yourself aromantic or asexual etc. is just drawing a hard line and limiting yourself. Sure you can really feel that way, but especially as teen you can't really be sure cos your experience is really limited. And I know it annoys people, but "you just didn't meet the right person yet" is a valid argument.

You realize that's pretty much the exact same thing straight people have been saying to queer kids since forever right?

Rosmontis
Nevrilicious Scans
joined Jun 5, 2015

majere posted:

About aromantic thing. I'm not fan of labels myself. To me, especially in young age, calling yourself aromantic or asexual etc. is just drawing a hard line and limiting yourself. Sure you can really feel that way, but especially as teen you can't really be sure cos your experience is really limited. And I know it annoys people, but "you just didn't meet the right person yet" is a valid argument.

You realize that's pretty much the exact same thing straight people have been saying to queer kids since forever right?

I meant it specifically in case of aromantic and asexual for reasons I stated.

ChocolateCakeLover
Gigi7
joined Feb 4, 2015

I meant it specifically in case of aromantic and asexual for reasons I stated.

They meant that's the same logic used against queer kids, and that it's hypocritical to use it on asexuals.

Download%20(11)
joined Jan 27, 2016

That was Just

FUCKING FANTASTIC

Profile160x160
joined Nov 20, 2014

I meant it specifically in case of aromantic and asexual for reasons I stated.

They meant that's the same logic used against queer kids, and that it's hypocritical to use it on asexuals.

Not really, cause the two concepts are very, very different. Asking someone who claims to be Asexual "Are you sure? Couldn't you just have not found the one?" is different from asking the same question to someone who claims to be Homosexual because the very different scopes of the notions. When you claim to be homosexual you're basically saying "I have a sexual interest in my own gender that I just don't have for the other gender", hence saying you still have a sexual interest but not in the half of the population you - for a lack of better words - are "supposed" to. When you say you're Asexual you're saying "I don't have a sexual interest in either gender" which of course is a much larger notion since it just removes the very notion of sexuality whatsoever.
The big difference is that is that only one of the two can be proven true as opposed to not false: "I have yet to find someone of the other gender I find really hot and who I find myself sexually attracted to the same way my friends do, and more importantly there is someone of my own gender who I find myself to have the same kind of feeling towards. I must be homosexual!" You can prove the notion that so far you have yet to find anyone of the other gender who you find attractive and you can prove the notion that you find people of your own gender attractive. Questioning it is basically saying "You're wrong!"
You can't argue Asexuality the same way since it lacks the second part, proving yourself right. It is easy to prove them wrong: "I have yet to find anyone I find sexually attractive." Boom, their notion about you being sexual isn't necessarily true! But there is still an arguably very valid notion that you just have yet to find the right one, since you can't prove it isn't so. You can't point to something specific and say "This is why I am asexual!", the best you can do is point to something and say "This is why I'm not sexual".
The two sound very similar but in nature are very different since it is easier to prove something wrong than proving something right. If you've found someone of your gender you find attractive you can prove yourself right in Homosexuality, but if you have yet to find anyone attractive you can only prove yourself wrong in Sexuality.

Further you can make an argument that the questions are asked for different reasons. Questioning Homosexuality usually stems from claiming it to be wrong. "You SHOULDN'T feel these feelings towards someone of your own gender!"
Meanwhile questioning Asexuality usually doesn't stem from thinking it inherently wrong but just not understanding the very notion itself. "How can you not be sexual? Everyone is! Aren't they?"
Then again I will admit to not be well read on the latter question so I won't really delve any further into it.

Even further however you can make the argument that the hypocrisy lies not in questioning if Asexuals really are, but rather in not asking Homo- and Heterosexuals if they really are. I mean I consider myself heterosexual, but at the same time I know my only real proof is that I have yet to find anyone male who I do find sexually attractive. I mean I enjoy Futa well enough so... anything's possible, right?
Just asking the question and making someone set out to find an answer to it is enough. It is not about proving them wrong, it is about making them ask themselves the question again.

Nezchan Moderator
Meiling%20bun%20150px
joined Jun 28, 2012

You can't argue Asexuality the same way since it lacks the second part, proving yourself right.

This is disturbingly like the kind of invalidation trans youth hear on an all too regular basis. There's no physical feature (or act, in the case of asexuals) they can point to that proves their identity to the satisfaction of people who insist they have the right to question these things. This is made even worse because western society heavily devalues "mental" issues ("It's all in your head", "Reals not feels", "She's cray-cray", etc.) which supports the "it's just a phase" and "you haven't met the right person yet" attacks. It's got to be frustrating from their point of view, having something they know is as true as the sun coming up in the morning yet being unable to provide the "proof" that's being demanded of them.

What it comes down to is an insistence that the person in question doesn't know their own identity, you don't trust their word on it, and they have to "prove it" to you, all of which is disrespectful and hostile. It doesn't help that in this situation it's a het person making claims of how ace and homosexual people should feel and react to this stuff. That last comment is particularly significant. "...it is about making them ask themselves the question again." You think ace (and trans and gay) people don't second-guess themselves all the freakin' time? In a society that constantly asks them those very same questions? How presumptuous to think they don't, and it's your place to ask them in any case.

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