Forum › Fuzoroi no Renri discussion

Tsuki-chan Uploader
Unknown
Chads no Teikoku
joined Dec 18, 2013

violence tag?

1461894977557
joined Jun 12, 2015

Yep. As I said before. Yaoi plot style right there.

2017-06-09-10-36-16-
joined Mar 29, 2017

Tried to kill her every die? What incompetent parents ...

I mean, really, killing someone isn't that difficult. You'd think at some point they'd have figured out something.

Drinking makes you dumb, can't really blame them

Yet a good chunk of death occurs because of drinking if anything the more dumb the easyier it gets to kill.

2017-06-09-10-36-16-
joined Mar 29, 2017

Some authors should hire some writing help. This development is beyond moronic.

Should have probably just been a cute love story about an OL and the stray she picked up (or forced herself on) like it was after the first chapter. Good thing this part only lasts for 4 chapters.

On the other hand it makes it stand out a bit instead of being the same old song and dance so it evens out i geuss.

Malibu Uploader
Hogfather
Kouyuri
joined Jan 25, 2016

That... was a fast resolution to the problem with her violent "friend". Unless things AREN'T resolved and shit's about to hit the fan! Hmmmm

joined Aug 28, 2016

Yeah, if they're really gonna leave this plot thread at that, it feels kinda shallow and overwrought at the same time, like the author wanted to put a Big Serious Issue in there but didn't know how to treat it with appropriate gravity.

20180327_165604
joined Nov 9, 2017

My best guess is the author wanted some sort of dramatic and somewhat more drawn out arc here but maybe realized partway through that they didn’t really know how to handle it so just tried to give a quick out or something.

Also can someone translate the title for me? Google is of no help sometimes

last edited at Oct 15, 2018 5:22PM

Unbenannt%20(copy)
joined Apr 21, 2018

lol that was easy....

My best guess is the author wanted some sort of dramatic and somewhat more drawn out arc here but maybe realized partway through that they didn’t really know how to handle it so just tried to give a quick out or something.

Also can someone translate the title for me? Google is of no help sometimes

It would have been much better as a finale to the series after a bit more character development. There's a character introduced later that would've been a better person to get Iori to take action as well.

Should have been similar to the first chapter with a continuous story rather than this segmented Twitter comic with odd cliffhangers that imply maybe time skips of unknown duration.

As for a translation for the title, we discussed a little a couple pages ago. Fusoroi is irregularity/unevenness and renri is intertwining tree branches/an intimate relationship. "The Intimacy of Irregularity" is kind of what I came up with along with a ton of other attempts, but none of them sounded great to me so we left it in Japanese.

Shinobu%20cain%202
joined Aug 19, 2015

Some authors should hire some writing help. This development is beyond moronic.

Should have probably just been a cute love story about an OL and the stray she picked up (or forced herself on) like it was after the first chapter. Good thing this part only lasts for 4 chapters.

On the other hand it makes it stand out a bit instead of being the same old song and dance so it evens out i geuss.

Indeed. Nothing wrong with drama. Juxtaposing it with fluff makes it kind of interesting if only it were executed well.

This tension doesn't really feel earned. It just seems like it was thrown in there on a whim and it's also ending on a whim. Not like I want this to drag out but it didn't have the emotional impact a backstory of those extremes should have.

Riamu
joined Aug 28, 2018

"who the fuck hits someone with a ashtray"

Cv7t70_vyaagwe3
joined Nov 19, 2017

That was so underwhelming. Forced drama not done well might as well have been opt out altogether. If the punk is just going to let her go like that, why even drag her off in the first place. It sounds like the "discussion" could've just ended back at the apartment. Feels like even the faceless parent might've been a better idea than the punk

Sk_fb
joined Feb 17, 2013

That was a very odd little side bit. 0_o

joined Sep 6, 2018

"who the fuck hits someone with a ashtray"

Yeah, it’s supposed to be: “...with an ashtray.”

Gotta switch to “an” if the next word starts with “a”, I think. I believe it can’t be generalized for words starting with any vowel, like, “a one-time offer” but then when referring to another subject like “an officer”, it’s hit or miss. So, I think the hard rule is using “an” if the next word starts with the letter “A”. Any English majors out there to corroborate with this? (Joke: And I don’t mean officers in the British military)

BTW, that is a cool line in the script if this is ever animated.

last edited at Oct 15, 2018 7:49PM

joined Sep 6, 2018

Aside from my original quibble over the short chapters, I think the character dynamics of “victimization-criminalization” along with dominant-submissive is pretty neat to put in story.

And, who’s the narrator in chapter 10? Author’s recap/filler? I liked how, in chapter 9, the reader is clued in along with MC when manager told her the troubled girl’s background. Yeah, it’s “talking heads” but it beats getting all laid out in chapter 10 without any story progression.

last edited at Oct 15, 2018 8:23PM

joined Sep 13, 2017

"who the fuck hits someone with a ashtray"

Yeah, it’s supposed to be: “...with an ashtray.”

Gotta switch to “an” if the next word starts with “a”, I think. I believe it can’t be generalized for words starting with any vowel, like, “a one-time offer” but then when referring to another subject like “an officer”, it’s hit or miss. So, I think the hard rule is using “an” if the next word starts with the letter “A”. Any English majors out there to corroborate with this? (Joke: And I don’t mean officers in the British military)

BTW, that is a cool line in the script if this is ever animated.

You use the indefinite article 'an' before words that start with a vowel sound. So yea, there should be an 'an' before 'ashtray', but the same would be true for, say, 'honour', or 'hour', at least in British English. On the other hand, 'one' is pronounced with a consonant at the beginning, thus we use an 'a'.

Capturedsfdsss_x213
joined Mar 16, 2018

That really hurt! I'm gonna have a lump there, you idiot! Who throws a astray? Honestly!

Wait, does that mean that the office lady won't get a chance to beat the shit out of that bitch? That's a shame.

Also, what did she grow up with a crazed female version of Jack Torrence? Did the mom alternate weapons to threaten her daughter with or did she just stick with the knife?

last edited at Oct 15, 2018 8:25PM

joined Sep 6, 2018

"who the fuck hits someone with a ashtray"

Yeah, it’s supposed to be: “...with an ashtray.”

Gotta switch to “an” if the next word starts with “a”, I think. I believe it can’t be generalized for words starting with any vowel, like, “a one-time offer” but then when referring to another subject like “an officer”, it’s hit or miss. So, I think the hard rule is using “an” if the next word starts with the letter “A”. Any English majors out there to corroborate with this? (Joke: And I don’t mean officers in the British military)

BTW, that is a cool line in the script if this is ever animated.

You use the indefinite article 'an' before words that start with a vowel sound. So yea, there should be an 'an' before 'ashtray', but the same would be true for, say, 'honour', or 'hour', at least in British English. On the other hand, 'one' is pronounced with a consonant at the beginning, thus we use an 'a'.

Thank you for pointing that out. I’m going to pass that English writing class next time!

joined Sep 6, 2018

That really hurt! I'm gonna have a lump there, you idiot! Who throws a astray? Honestly!

Wait, does that mean that the office lady won't get a chance to beat the shit out of that bitch? That's a shame.

Also, what did she grow up with a crazed female version of Jack Torrence? Did the mom alternate weapons to threaten her daughter with or did she just stick with the knife?

With the way this story is going... there’s bound to be a “reversal” of some kind by the victimized girl (maybe she takes the bat to her old friend instead). Shouldn’t there be a “bullying” tag here by now?

Screenshot_2020-06-05%20dorian%20electra%20has%20a%20full%20on%20broment
joined Jun 20, 2017

Some authors should hire some writing help. This development is beyond moronic.

Hahaha yes. Seeing this author mess up this bad was quite sad, the story had a pretty decent start.

On the other hand it makes it stand out a bit instead of being the same old song and dance so it evens out i geuss.

I don't think such a poor and disjointed development is gonna do this series any favors. If anything, you don't want your series to stand out because of domestic violence themes that felt out of place.

joined Aug 11, 2014

"who the fuck hits someone with a ashtray"

Yeah, it’s supposed to be: “...with an ashtray.”

Gotta switch to “an” if the next word starts with “a”, I think. I believe it can’t be generalized for words starting with any vowel, like, “a one-time offer” but then when referring to another subject like “an officer”, it’s hit or miss. So, I think the hard rule is using “an” if the next word starts with the letter “A”. Any English majors out there to corroborate with this? (Joke: And I don’t mean officers in the British military)

More than a hard and fast grammatical rule, it's probably more practical to think of it in terms of how the words sound. If the following word sounds as if it starts with a vowel when you say it, then use "an". If it doesn't, use "a". Like in your example, "one" starts with a vowel when written, so it looks like it should use "an" on paper, but it's pronounced "won", so it uses "a". On the other hand, words like "honour" and "honest" both use "an", despite starting with consonants, because the H is silent. "Herb" is a funny one, because the British tend to pronounce the H, while Americans usually don't, so both "a herb" and "an herb" can be correct depending on dialect and accent.

There probably is a proper, more concrete rule out there, but as a general rule of thumb, I think you're usually safe to go by the pronounced sound over the written letter.

1448607546000
joined Jan 22, 2015

I'm going to pretend this ended several chapters prior.

4bbe1078a9d82bf519de9e5fc56dee60
joined Feb 18, 2018

Some authors should hire some writing help. This development is beyond moronic.

The worst part is that it's fairly realistic. The only non-realistic part actually is that Iori-san would be so kind.

Also: it's not far-fetched that the violent girl would let Minami go, but it's unlikely the subject will be dropped so easily as the story continues (if it does). That's what unstable people do.

last edited at Oct 15, 2018 9:24PM

Sin%20t%c3%adtulo-min
joined Sep 28, 2011

Then Iori fucking cracks that asshole's skull open with a bat

joined Sep 6, 2018

@Gale: Thanks... But there's a previous response that's more on the nose than yours. I do appreciate the response, this site has members who really care about the art and mangas.

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