Forum › My Unrequited Love discussion

Img_0215
joined Jul 29, 2017

But then when Uta made her feelings clear, everything went hard in the opposite direction, all of which can be rationalized on psychological/character grounds, but making "where does this story think it's going?" more of an open question than ever.

This story's direction was clear right from the beginning. Only if you read the necklace moment as a romantic development and hoped/thought it meant they were going to end up together, it doesn't make sense.
It makes sense right from the start if Kaoru never had any romantic feelings towards Uta.
These scenes that people keep mentioning are not much really. Hence why it's called Unrequited Love. Kaoru is attached to Uta, but that doesn't mean in a romantic sense.

You imply that only shippers could read this other than you do, but repetition of the point doesn't make it so. The statement that "Kaoru never had any romantic feelings for Uta" is, of course, an irrelevant red herring--the question was not did she have those feelings, but could she develop such feelings, and the story set up that possibility by stressing the extraordinary closeness and aggressive skinship between Kaoru and Uta. At the beginning Kaoru was obviously more emotionally bonded to Uta than she was to the emotionally distant and mostly absent Reiichi--this intractable love that Kaoru has for Reiichi was initially far more stipulated than depicted in the story itself.

This story obviously started out as the story of Uta's feelings for Kaoru, full stop. Whether those feelings ever could or would be requited was an open question (the idea that the title constitutes some sort of ironclad promise about the nature of the story's conclusion is simply preposterous--titles often announce the theme, as this one does, without giving away the resolution of the plot). It has now drifted, after much meandering into byways such as high-school yuri hijinks, into being about Kaoru's marriage, with Uta currently kept on the sidelines until needed to advance the plot. Whether she will make a resurgence of some kind still remains to be seen.

C__data_users_defapps_appdata_internetexplorer_temp_saved%20images_lavender_town_screenshot
joined Dec 9, 2014

The statement that "Kaoru never had any romantic feelings for Uta" is, of course, an irrelevant red herring--the question was not did she have those feelings, but could she develop such feelings

When you talk about scenes like the necklace, then someone who reads your post will think that you are talking about whether she had those feelings in the past, especially when you don't mention that your are talking about the possibility of her developing these feelings.
Not everyone will automatically know to which one of the two you are referring to, especially when there have been posts above of people saying Kaoru might be a lesbian.

the idea that the title constitutes some sort of ironclad promise about the nature of the story's conclusion is simply preposterous

I didn't say that. But it can very well do, so that's for some people who read the story with the narrative they wish to happen and skip other clues because it doesn't fit into that image.

aggressive skinship

Yeah, that's a strong language to describe them, I'd personally only use that it they rubbed carpets.

last edited at Jul 28, 2020 11:11AM

Img_0215
joined Jul 29, 2017

aggressive skinship

Yeah, that's a strong language to describe them, I'd personally only use that it they rubbed carpets.

Well, that would be very idiosyncratic of you.

In a Japanese household, announcing that "From now on, we're all going to hug whenever someone leaves the house or returns,"certainly would constitute a culturally astounding level of familial skinship.

joined Feb 14, 2019

But then when Uta made her feelings clear, everything went hard in the opposite direction, all of which can be rationalized on psychological/character grounds, but making "where does this story think it's going?" more of an open question than ever.

This story's direction was clear right from the beginning. Only if you read the necklace moment as a romantic development and hoped/thought it meant they were going to end up together, it doesn't make sense.
It makes sense right from the start if Kaoru never had any romantic feelings towards Uta.
These scenes that people keep mentioning are not much really. Hence why it's called Unrequited Love. Kaoru is attached to Uta, but that doesn't mean in a romantic sense.

Except that it isn't actually called that. It was originally called たとえとどかぬ糸だとしても and the official English translation has the title "If I Could Reach You". So not only is it reading too much into a title, it isn't even the right title. The title is a good match for the general theme of yearning, but doesn't really give us much insight into how it will be resolved.

Weren't you telling me only a week ago, re Risako, that being unable to give up an obsession with someone means attraction?

C__data_users_defapps_appdata_internetexplorer_temp_saved%20images_lavender_town_screenshot
joined Dec 9, 2014

Weren't you telling me only a week ago, re Risako, that being unable to give up an obsession with someone means attraction?

Yeah, except I don't think Risako's interest is simply an obsession. I think it starts from attraction, and because Risako is the person that she is, it gets expressed as obsession because she tries to suppress and erase the feelings instead of accepting them and move on.

At least this is based more on the reality that's presented by the manga, if you compare it to your own theory that's literally a headcanon about Risako's family.

joined Feb 14, 2019

Weren't you telling me only a week ago, re Risako, that being unable to give up an obsession with someone means attraction?

Yeah, except I don't think Risako's interest is simply an obsession. I think it starts from attraction, and because Risako is the person that she is, it gets expressed as obsession because she tries to suppress and erase the feelings instead of accepting them and move on.

At least this is based more on the reality that's presented by the manga, if you compare it to your own theory that's literally a headcanon about Risako's family.

It was't intended to be definitive, just an example of other plausible explanations for Risako's behaviour. Risako being in love with Kaoru is also just a headcanon, albeit a somewhat simpler one (but surely we would need some big info/assumptions about why someone as intelligent, self-aware, assertive and self-confident as Risako would just repress it all).

All we know with a fair level of certainty is that she doesn't seem to like Kaoryu and Reiichi being together, and that she doesn't seem to mind spending time with Reiichi (she kept dating him after high school until he dumped her, through a period when they didn't have much contact with Kaoru as far as we can tell).

Risako loving Kaoru wouldn't really do much for the story
* she's obviously not an example for Uta to consider (most of Uta's friends stories have helped Uta develop her ideas on love), positive or negative - since Uta is well past her in relationship development/self-discovery (and never seemed to consider bitter repressed denial as an option).
* she also isn't a feasible option for Kaoru. Kaoru already knows her quite well and doesn't like her, a love confession is unlikely to improve that at all (their relationship has only ever been sustained by Risako's persistence)

Kaoru ending up with someone else doesn't really do much, since Uta has never been waiting for her. Uta still thinks a relationship is impossible ( tho Koru's epiphany at the end of ch 35 suggests Kaoru might be about to do something that would change that )

joined Feb 14, 2019

But then when Uta made her feelings clear, everything went hard in the opposite direction, all of which can be rationalized on psychological/character grounds, but making "where does this story think it's going?" more of an open question than ever.

This story's direction was clear right from the beginning. Only if you read the necklace moment as a romantic development and hoped/thought it meant they were going to end up together, it doesn't make sense.
It makes sense right from the start if Kaoru never had any romantic feelings towards Uta.
These scenes that people keep mentioning are not much really. Hence why it's called Unrequited Love. Kaoru is attached to Uta, but that doesn't mean in a romantic sense.

The necklace incident was colored heavily by being told from Uta's pov - in the context of Uta dealing with the pain of experiences that gave her a taste of what a relationship might be, and was told very much in the shadow of her belief there was nothing there and her determination to get over it. It might turn out to have been a rather clever way to distract us from just how aggressively affectionate Kaoru's behaviour actually was.

Alone it could have just been Kaoru's sisterly impulses hitting a romantic cliche by chance, but that and other incidents seem to form a pattern - Kaoru has been pursuing an ersatz relationship with Uta, being a couple all but the sexual aspect. She was going beyond the emotional support role they had for years to use Uta to fill in for Reiichi's absence in their marriage. And it seems that she really liked her performance, because we saw her trying to take Uta along on a date even on a rare occasion she had Reiichi - and that was before she found out about Risako etc. Kaoru was shocked by Uta's confession, but once she had time to process it she upped the ante, abandoning her own bed to (blissfully) sleep beside Uta holding her hand, if anything knowing Uta is in love with her seems to have increased her feelings of affection and comfort. Who knows how far she will take it now she knows Reiichi isn't in love with her.

edit: since this occurred over the same period as Uta becoming aware of her feelings, one could even argue that Kaoru sensed the attention subconsciously and "leaned in".

last edited at Jul 29, 2020 7:51AM

Img_0215
joined Jul 29, 2017

The necklace incident was colored heavily by being told from Uta's pov - in the context of Uta dealing with the pain of experiences that gave her a taste of what a relationship might be, and was told very much in the shadow of her belief there was nothing there and her determination to get over it. It might turn out to have been a rather clever way to distract us from just how aggressively affectionate Kaoru's behaviour actually was.

Alone it could have just been Kaoru's sisterly impulses hitting a romantic cliche by chance, but that and other incidents seem to form a pattern - Kaoru has been pursuing an ersatz relationship with Uta, being a couple all but the sexual aspect. She was going beyond the emotional support role they had for years to use Uta to fill in for Reiichi's absence in their marriage. And it seems that she really liked her performance, because we saw her trying to take Uta along on a date even on a rare occasion she had Reiichi - an that was before she found out about Risako etc. Kaoru was shocked by Uta's confession, but once she had time to process it she upped the ante, abandoning her own bed to (blissfully) sleep beside Uta holding her hand, if anything knowing Uta is in love with her seems to have increased her feelings of affection and comfort. Who knows how far she will take it now she knows Reiichi isn't in love with her.

Now that we’re allowed to agree with one another—yeah, totally.

last edited at Jul 29, 2020 7:44AM

C__data_users_defapps_appdata_internetexplorer_temp_saved%20images_lavender_town_screenshot
joined Dec 9, 2014

It might turn out to have been a rather clever way to distract us from just how aggressively affectionate Kaoru's behaviour actually was.

Lmao I cracked at this xD this is a manga, not real people who try to go out with each other and get away from prying eyes.
If the author wanted to add that, they would.
I'm not denying there is a possibility they'll end up together, but you are just literally isolating this specific scene and writing paragraphs on it to make it seem bigger than it is in the grander scheme of things. It reminds me of these people who think everyone who looks at them fancies them.

It's just mind blowing how you are so willing to press on Kaoru having a crush or the potential to have a crush/sexual attraction to Uta, yet with Risako's feelings and Kaoru's feelings for Reichii you are literally applying the exact opposite logic.

I guess a better title of this manga would be "Kaoru and her aggressively affectionate sexual advances to her sister in law"
Rated: X

last edited at Jul 29, 2020 8:59AM

Img_0215
joined Jul 29, 2017

It's just mind blowing how you are so willing to press on Kaoru having a crush or the potential to have a crush/sexual attraction to Uta,

It’s ridiculous to deny this—that’s literally the entire initial premise of the whole series.

Kaoru is extraordinarily bonded to and emotionally dependent on Uta, she expresses her affection in notably physical ways, and (as almost literally couldn’t be made more obvious) Kaoru uses Uta as a replacement for the attention and support that she doesn’t get from her husband.

If that were not the case, Uta’s feelings would just be completely delusional and perverse—“Here’s the story of a weird girl’s obviously doomed quasi-incestuous crush” is not how this story has presented itself.

C__data_users_defapps_appdata_internetexplorer_temp_saved%20images_lavender_town_screenshot
joined Dec 9, 2014

It's just mind blowing how you are so willing to press on Kaoru having a crush or the potential to have a crush/sexual attraction to Uta,

It’s ridiculous to deny this—that’s literally the entire initial premise of the whole series.

Kaoru is extraordinarily bonded to and emotionally dependent on Uta, she expresses her affection in notably physical ways, and (as almost literally couldn’t be made more obvious) Kaoru uses Uta as a replacement for the attention and support that she doesn’t get from her husband.

If that were not the case, Uta’s feelings would just be completely delusional and perverse—“Here’s the story of a weird girl’s obviously doomed quasi-incestuous crush” is not how this story has presented itself.

Omg, do you guys even read what I'm saying? I should probably stop replying because this conversation is on another type of pink fluffy cloud.

You literally cut my sentence right in the middle (the comma is still there) and deleted the other part which is the most important part of the sentence, only to repeat again the same point you made above. If you can base your whole view of what a story is about based on a couple of scenes and ignoring the "contradictory" scenes only in favor of making it seem Kaoru is aggressively affectionate to Uta, then it's mind blowing to me how you can brush off the scenes with Reiichi and Risako.

No, if Uta's feelings are truly unrequited, that doesn't make her creepy and it doesn't make this manga meaningless. Stories are not always about finding love. It can very well work for showing how hard it is to overcome a love, and showing the stages of doing so. Uta has shown some of the stages of getting over Kaoru so far.
First was realizing it. Then she went on thinking she could keep living with it and ignore it (denial). Then she accepted it and had to make the hard decision of cutting off Kaoru. After that there will be slip ups (like how she went back to the house for checking on her) because it's not easy.

If you insist of thinking this story is about them ending up together, then you will read all the rest of the info about Uta getting over Kaoru as "the story contradicting itself" and bad writing.

joined Jul 1, 2018

Kaoru is extraordinarily bonded to and emotionally dependent on Uta, she expresses her affection in notably physical ways, and (as almost literally couldn’t be made more obvious) Kaoru uses Uta as a replacement for the attention and support that she doesn’t get from her husband.

I was re-reading the beginning chapters, and I found this:
https://dynasty-scans.com/chapters/my_unrequited_love_ch03#6
https://dynasty-scans.com/chapters/my_unrequited_love_ch03#7

I completely agree with you, Kaoru basically uses Uta as "someone to love" when she doesn't feel like she's getting affection from Reichii, or when she doesn't feel like her relationship with him is ideal (kinda like how in the first chapter she takes Uta out in Reichii's place, even though she really wanted to go with him). The closest thing I could compare it to is like a positive form of displacement, taking her feelings of love and affection towards reichii, and pushing them onto Uta. It's also important to remember that Kaoru feels partly responsible for Uta's happiness, so by placing her feelings of love onto her, she probably feels like she's killing two birds with one stone (making Uta feel happier while also getting that feeling of love that she doesn't form Reichii).

Granted the end of the most chapter, I feel like we're probably are going to enter the phase where Kaoru clarifies exactly why it is that she is so attached to Uta, as the reader, we don't necessarily know how aware she is of what she had been

doing to her, we can just tell that she feels guilty about it (I think?? I haven't read this manga over in a long time).

I mean the author can always do a call back to Uta's feelings to confirm Kaoru; Uta stated that she had always loved her, but she just didn't realize it until Kaoru had become unattainable. It's completely plausible for Kaoru to go down the same route granted her character and emotional development.

edit: I'd just like to add this page too:
https://dynasty-scans.com/chapters/my_unrequited_love_ch04#12

It just further proves Kaoru's romantic motivations. She clearly just wants someone to love, and someone to love her back, it doesn't seem to matter who it is.

last edited at Jul 29, 2020 10:06AM

Img_0215
joined Jul 29, 2017

If you insist of thinking this story is about them ending up together,

OK, this is just bad-faith argumentation—the story may or may not be about them “ending up together,” but that’s not the argument.

What happens with Kaoru and Uta remains to be seen. (At this point, as everyone has been pointing out forever, it seems unlikely, but with the way this trainwreck is told, who knows?)

But the story set up at least the potential for Kaoru’s feelings for Uta to take an overtly romantic turn from the quasi-romantic form they took in the early part of the story.

C__data_users_defapps_appdata_internetexplorer_temp_saved%20images_lavender_town_screenshot
joined Dec 9, 2014

If you insist of thinking this story is about them ending up together,

OK, this is just bad-faith argumentation—the story may or may not be about them “ending up together,” but that’s not the argument.

What happens with Kaoru and Uta remains to be seen. (At this point, as everyone has been pointing out forever, it seems unlikely, but with the way this trainwreck is told, who knows?)

But the story set up at least the potential for Kaoru’s feelings for Uta to take an overtly romantic turn from the quasi-romantic form they took in the early part of the story.

I don't disagree on that

Img_0215
joined Jul 29, 2017

If you insist of thinking this story is about them ending up together,

OK, this is just bad-faith argumentation—the story may or may not be about them “ending up together,” but that’s not the argument.

What happens with Kaoru and Uta remains to be seen. (At this point, as everyone has been pointing out forever, it seems unlikely, but with the way this trainwreck is told, who knows?)

But the story set up at least the potential for Kaoru’s feelings for Uta to take an overtly romantic turn from the quasi-romantic form they took in the early part of the story.

I don't disagree on that

OK, Blastaar agrees with MacySan and circamoore on the same day. Let’s all shake hands, and come out swinging next chapter.

C__data_users_defapps_appdata_internetexplorer_temp_saved%20images_lavender_town_screenshot
joined Dec 9, 2014

OK, Blastaar agrees with MacySan and circamoore on the same day. Let’s all shake hands, and come out swinging next chapter.

Ok then (y) You guys do you, I also think Circamoore could write a good fan fiction of this story and I'm not saying this in a bad way.
Peace.

joined Feb 14, 2019

https://dynasty-scans.com/chapters/my_unrequited_love_ch03#6
https://dynasty-scans.com/chapters/my_unrequited_love_ch03#7

I completely agree with you, Kaoru basically uses Uta as "someone to love" when she doesn't feel like she's getting affection from Reichii,

If I recall rightly, Reiichi accused Kaoru of pursuing the hug thing with him purely as a pretext to hug Uta (ostensibly as part of her strategy to get Uta to open up), and she didn't deny it.

joined Jul 1, 2018

https://dynasty-scans.com/chapters/my_unrequited_love_ch03#6
https://dynasty-scans.com/chapters/my_unrequited_love_ch03#7

I completely agree with you, Kaoru basically uses Uta as "someone to love" when she doesn't feel like she's getting affection from Reichii,

If I recall rightly, Reiichi accused Kaoru of pursuing the hug thing with him purely as a pretext to hug Uta (ostensibly as part of her strategy to get Uta to open up), and she didn't deny it.

Yeah, you’re right, I didn’t get to that part when I wrote the post (I was re-reading as I wrote)

https://dynasty-scans.com/chapters/my_unrequited_love_ch08#1

I think this page serves as a better example. What I’m trying to say is, Kaoru basically wants to avoid being alone, so when Reichii isn’t there to give her attention and tend to her social needs, she uses Uta. I will say Kaoru is mostly a sensible person in terms of acknowledging what she’s doing; through the whole story she always tries to talk to Reichii about the state of their relationship, but she stops herself (until recent chapters). I’m sure that she knows that what she’s really looking for is someone to just be there for her, regardless of who it is (she stated that the reason she liked Reichii was because he always took care of her when she was alone).

The immaculate
joined Mar 19, 2020

I always thought risako was gay for kaoru and I guess that that’s ‘cause she’s ‘interested’ in her, but what?

last edited at Jul 30, 2020 12:06PM

joined Jan 14, 2020

Sounds like Risako would rather be asexual/aromantic, or is already one of those but but the other. "Stupid feelings for other people!" Or is low grade sociopath wishing she was more so.

St1
joined Feb 17, 2013

Ok so the hand reaching for and being put on her head at the end on 21 22 is a memory right? since nobody is in the next panel - but who is that she is remembering giving her the kind of love she wants? Uta?

It seems the obvious answer but maybe its being deliberately misleading..
But when I looked back some chapters to try to find that memory, the only very similar one was indeed Uta comforting her like that- tho it was long ago as children.. Dunno if i missed another time it happened with someone?

__toshinou_kyouko_yuru_yuri_drawn_by_namori__943f8c23512b1acef28d53ce169c5909
joined Apr 24, 2020

I really like Risako and at this point, I would rather see the story take a turn and focus on her and/or her relationship with Kaoru, or just her relationships in general really. I'm aware it's more than unlikely, but still, 35 chapters in and I still find her much more interesting (and complex!) than the main characters. At first the plotline, a girl falling for her sister-in-law, seemed enticing and not too overused but meh...it quickly felt like it was running in circles to me. I don't know, I almost forget about Uta at times, she's too plain, and Kaoru is okay at best, and so far I don't see much depth to their relationship or anything beyond basic bonding. I'd like to see more of Reichii's perspective as well, he comes of as clueless and awkward most of the time, but what Risako says about him in this chapter shows that there's more to that guy than him being a big ol' blockhead who hurt, intentionally or not, his best friend/soon-to-be-ex-wife (?). Still, I'll keep on reading because I really enjoy the drama/angst and how family issues are dealt (or not dealt) with, it never feels overdone, just realistic enough. I have hopes that it'll take up from here on out, in one way or another (and if one of the options taken happens to be giving Risako more space, I'm all for it).

Bldrnner
joined Mar 3, 2019

i don't need realistic thought process i need more gay moments

I enjoy YOUR thought process in this instance Lesbian Pirate. You're right. Much as I'm getting emotionally drained just by looking at a crying Kaoru over the bollocks of Reiichi and her world, yeah, I need now the gay moments. Maybe Risako can turn around and follow Kaoru in the open instead of letting the poor woman walk the streets alone. Or maybe Uta out of nowhere shows up in front of Kaoru and they hug. I don't know.

HonestYuriHawk
joined Apr 5, 2018

I really like Risako and at this point, I would rather see the story take a turn and focus on her and/or her relationship with Kaoru, or just her relationships in general really. I'm aware it's more than unlikely, but still, 35 chapters in and I still find her much more interesting (and complex!) than the main characters.

I agree. I do love watching the situation develop between Kaoru and Uta but Risako really has my interest atm. She is a really interesting character and I'm curious as to why she is trying to cut off all of her feelings. But since she expressed her hope in making Kaoru want to cut ties with her so she wouldn't feel anything, it gives the impression that she seems to have feelings towards Kaoru more than anyone else. Tbh I wouldn't mind seeing a relationship between Kaoru and Risako.

Hinataskype
joined May 26, 2011

I doubt risako and kaoru will ever happen, especially cause risako seems to have a lot of issues (including doubting herself and not being honest) plus I think kaoru is too confused about her for a relationship to start. Though it could be interesting.

At this point I just want reiichi and kaoru to end their relationship charade. Kaoru is kidding herself if she thinks it can still be salvaged. But I imagine they would still live together for a while. I wonder how Uta would take the news.

To reply you must either login or sign up.