Forum › My Dear Lass discussion

012
joined Apr 22, 2014

Yeah, without other adults/family members there to question the father, I don't think either the hospital or police would care at all about the legal basis for forcing a younger family member into conversion therapy.

X2(edited)2
joined Jan 2, 2022

Mu Xiaoen the woman you are! My MVP!

27738462_1280_10000_277848~01~01
joined Jul 22, 2023

old fart get punted

On a more serious note, it's fitting that the one tearing down the family hierarchy of the father-master is the wife-- we've come full circle, with the women of the house completing their own little revolution. Let's see if the next chapter(s) have some reaction in store for us...

Couple_under_the_stars
joined Nov 7, 2022

Hell yeah Mu Xiaoen <3

An interesting thing to observe is that strictly speaking, they weren't "losing" before she came, just being pushed around to quote Mu Xiaoen. The father was still facing pushback. And the argument "our Peachtown officer won't tolerate a kidnapping" works whether Mu Xiaoen is there or not.

What does change is that she's not hesitating or scared at all. Her presence turns an argument into a simple statement that the father has no place there and no authority. You can tell she's been prepared to face him.

As for the mother... good on her for finally doing something - late is better than never. Xiaoyang will only have spent an entire childhood without her support, yay ! Though the part that really sticks with me is that she was opposed sending Xiaoyang to conversion therapy even before coming. That would have been a point of no return even if she did change her mind afterwards.

joined Jun 11, 2021

fuck yeah lets go women

Ykn1
joined Dec 20, 2018

Mom finally stands up for herself and her children. That man really went too far even for her with that last comment...

D05536d6-01d1-4527-9102-4cc772fad5ed
joined Jul 6, 2020

It's so fitting that after dozens of chapters where Mu Xiaoen jokingly holds up her status as great-aunt, thats also the thing that she can use to wield as "status" over the overbearing patriarch. I would hope shes right about the peachtown police officers, but I'm not confident that they would be helpful to xiaoyang in this situation.

This is such a powerful rendition of what this type of patriarchal violence does to trans people the world over, and it's very cathartic to have the town symbolically stand up for Xiaoyang in the forms of Mu Xiaoen and Shi Xingyuan, and even the baker. I never would have expected this kind of arc focused on transmisogyny, and while it started out a little shakey, this is a really strong climax(?) to it all

1318
joined Jul 20, 2011

Mom grew a spine! Yay!

Also, I hope they do call the police and that some agents are already there when the guys from the conversion torture "hospital" arrive.

Cornonthekopp
D05536d6-01d1-4527-9102-4cc772fad5ed
joined Jul 6, 2020

The sapphic fantasy of having a mom who actually stands up for you and values being in your life more than the identity she bestowed on you :')

In all seriousness though, this is an incredibly well written chapter. The reveal of all the ways mom really was "too late" and how she doesn't wanna repeat that, even as Mu Xiaoen looks on from the side, unable to participate or be a part of this due to the same woman's choices. The reveal of the insane misogyny of the grandparents who drove their son to tears repeatedly, and in doing so drove those same values deep into him so that he ended up repeating the very same cycle of violence on the next generation under him.

The shot of all the women around the table, those who actually defied him and defied the passing on of this behavior, was so potent and emotional.

last edited at Apr 9, 2026 1:19AM

Leaping%20cow
joined Sep 27, 2017

Dad defeated! (Hopefully)

joined Mar 23, 2022

No dude you pathetic piece of shit you're just homophobic much. So glad the mom finally decided to step up her game.TvT

X2(edited)2
joined Jan 2, 2022

I'm not going to make excuses for the dad he's a piece of shit, however I do think this is a great example of generational, or at least cultural, trauma. Like that's how much the one child policy fucked them up. Mu Xiaoen's grandparents would have rather she died, they threatened to kill themselves if her dad didn't divorce her mom just for having a girl. As shitty as the dad is, this is not just him. This is a general societal issue of valuing women and femininity so much less than men. It's the kind of shit that traumatizes people down the line of their descendants for generations to come.

last edited at Apr 9, 2026 4:51AM

Couple_under_the_stars
joined Nov 7, 2022

Oh, that last shot was powerful. Father being there like a symbol, looking at every woman in the room rejecting his bullshit.

I'm not going to make excuses for the dad he's a piece of shit, however I do think this is a great example of generational, or at least cultural, trauma.

I get where you're coming from, however a family choice that is based on a desire for social standing and slightly more comfortable life don't really excuse the abuse he's showing. "I was raised like that" only works for so long, especially when his wife knew it was wrong, and he has access to enough social material to understand his position is compromised.

I think the mother is a far better example of the generational and cultural influence. She still has morals, clarity of mind, and emotional intelligence, but she caves to external pressure combined with societal expectations of people her age (and definitely a bit of emotional abuse based on that discussion of why she "must" stay with her husband and abandon her child).

Ultimately, morals evolve. Someone might have had an excuse for certain behavior fifty years ago because anything else was unknown in society. But as adults, they cannot forever shield themselves under "my parents taught me so" in denial of the rest of the world advancing.

X2(edited)2
joined Jan 2, 2022

Oh, that last shot was powerful. Father being there like a symbol, looking at every woman in the room rejecting his bullshit.

I'm not going to make excuses for the dad he's a piece of shit, however I do think this is a great example of generational, or at least cultural, trauma.

I get where you're coming from, however a family choice that is based on a desire for social standing and slightly more comfortable life don't really excuse the abuse he's showing. "I was raised like that" only works for so long, especially when his wife knew it was wrong, and he has access to enough social material to understand his position is compromised.

I think the mother is a far better example of the generational and cultural influence. She still has morals, clarity of mind, and emotional intelligence, but she caves to external pressure combined with societal expectations of people her age (and definitely a bit of emotional abuse based on that discussion of why she "must" stay with her husband and abandon her child).

Ultimately, morals evolve. Someone might have had an excuse for certain behavior fifty years ago because anything else was unknown in society. But as adults, they cannot forever shield themselves under "my parents taught me so" in denial of the rest of the world advancing.

I'm not sure the generational trauma should only be viewed from the perspective of the one that is more moral. The point of generational influence is that affects everyone, it makes bad people worse and better people bad.

I agree with you that society evolves, but that doesn't mean people evolve with it. Like I said before, I'm not excusing him, I still think he's an asshole, but what I am saying is he is a prime example of the kind of damage that the generations before enacted down the line.

Ykn1
joined Dec 20, 2018

Better late than never, good job, mom!

Cs4_cover
joined Jul 13, 2015

So complicated been a antiquated old man, xd lol

Tron-legacy
joined Dec 11, 2017

I'm not going to make excuses for the dad he's a piece of shit, however I do think this is a great example of generational, or at least cultural, trauma. Like that's how much the one child policy fucked them up. Mu Xiaoen's grandparents would have rather she died, they threatened to kill themselves if her dad didn't divorce her mom just for having a girl. As shitty as the dad is, this is not just him. This is a general societal issue of valuing women and femininity so much less than men. It's the kind of shit that traumatizes people down the line of their descendants for generations to come.

Yeah, it's not just the one child policy, that wouldn't be nearly as bad if it wasn't also paired with stupid Confucian gender values. Sons are heirs, girls are worthless. It's so fucked up.

Purple Library Guy
Kare%20kano%20joker
joined Mar 3, 2013

Could be worse. Could be India.

97904d311f47421eacec55aeedf99df3
joined Jun 4, 2015

Where did that guy go wrong? Now he's got everyone against him and he still doesn't get it...

Leaping%20cow
joined Sep 27, 2017

Where did that guy go wrong? Now he's got everyone against him and he still doesn't get it...

Unfortunately that’s something I’m still trying to figure out. I can tell you from personal experience at least that there are older white men in America that act like this, It’s difficult to deal with for a variety of reasons.

last edited at Apr 14, 2026 5:16AM

Tron-legacy
joined Dec 11, 2017

Where did that guy go wrong? Now he's got everyone against him and he still doesn't get it...

The short version is that he was taught to be like this, going by the previous chapters probably mostly by his mom, who is a serious piece of shit.

Conservative Confucian values put a lot of importance on gender roles and having male heirs. It's real bad. People who don't have male heirs are devalued and looked down on. This has historically led to systemic misogyny and an obsession with having at least one male child and a tendency to devalue female children, sometimes to the point of abandoning or murdering them. The story referenced this earlier on, I think with Xiaoen's Grandmother, (dickhead's mom, which tells you where he learned this bullshit) who wanted to throw her out when she was a baby.

It didn't used to be this bad, having a girl used to just mean you kept trying and tried to find someone to marry them off to, (which still isn't great but it's better than murder,) but this devaluing of female children is compounded by China's "one child" policy, which, in a desperate attempt to curb overpopulation, limits families to having one child each.

If the one kid you're allowed to have is a girl, the only way you get to try again is if you get rid of the girl somehow. Pawn her off on another family that doesn't have a child, or, y'know, accidents happen.

Icon_tinymila
joined Jan 30, 2017

I love how the whole village chipped in to help them break their generational trauma.

Fuck Confucianism.

joined Mar 23, 2022

Damn this is peak series it's like I'm seeing encanto Disney moment in here where the whole village unite to help their fellow lovely citizen.T-T. and damn not her bae covering her up from her ex mom.

Leaping%20cow
joined Sep 27, 2017

This has been intense, and also satisfying

Ykn1
joined Dec 20, 2018

Perfect.

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