Forum › I Don't Know Which One is Love discussion

08f6612130a20845a480034c0567fbe1d8926209_hq
joined Apr 27, 2014

Booo Maria sense's path is closed, Kaouro's too, the kissing girl as well... At this point I'm rooting for Riri or the old crush, hmmpff.

Leaping%20cow
joined Sep 27, 2017

That’s a good point, because when it comes to harems, when they all want the protagonist but “monogamous” is the norm, there will be fierce competition in the way, no matter what.
And it’s a problem because the relationship between the girls would be pretty stiff, since only one person can win the best girl and have her hand in marriage…plus the “harem master” will be in an extremely unbalanced position (this is mostly why I hate the harem genre in general, actually. Yuri makes it better because I can shove “gender norms” out the window and don’t think about it. I just love girls getting girls, whatevs.)

I’m not asking Mei to be as powerful and devoted as the almighty Rentaro of the 100 girlfriends (or as popular and sexy as that girl who “Won’t Sleep With You For Free”), but I do wish her to grow along her girlfriends and have them change as well during all those variety of interactions. That’s enough for those friendship points to accumulate and have them fall in love. (Too bad our protagonist just had two genuine love confessions and lost two contestants. It’s a good thing Kaoru still had that plushie which still held Mei’s scent, so she can be stronger.)

And the reason I want this author to make this a “real harem” is because it goes to show that variety is key to life and she needs all her senses to live well. All her girl friends love her different aspects first and then got to know her as herself.

But who knows? I wouldn’t put it past the author to make them available for Mei even if they’re seemingly gone. (I can excuse Maria, because in a sense, the “Sight” sense is the one that can work the furthest, probably second only to hearing (light is faster than sound), and they can still meet again at school. But Kaoru is not one I can really understand at the moment. Because it gives her a premature ending, and it also seems a bit unfair compared with the others.)

Ultimately I still have faith in the author. She’s got that kind of imagination and creativity rivaling Mochi Au Lait (they both have that one-of-a-kind art style, too) and I believe she has plans for the future of each characters…because NO WAY some of them just had to end it before the protagonist says so! Harem and the five-sense connections are already crazy, what’s wrong with a bit more?

Yeah I think having a true harem here is important with the concept of the senses, all the senses are important. Also I haven't given up on the series myself, and I do hope the author delivers a satisfying conclusion. We'll see where it goes!

At least we'll always have The Young Lady Wants to be the Protagonist of a Love Comedy!.

I think I missed that on and I'll check it out, thanks!

Rx_5_50
joined May 3, 2016

Oh man... what if each of the harem members ends up in that kind of "wait for me" situation, and Mei has to make a decision for herself at the end, and at the end we just see her going off to pursue one of them, but the author never tells us which one?

Nah….

Rx_5_50
joined May 3, 2016

Yuri makes it better because I can shove “gender norms” out the window and don’t think about it. I just love girls getting girls, whatevs.)

Yeah, Yuri harems are the only harems I like but there aren’t enough of them (or they too slowly) to get “my fix.” They do seem to be taking off more and more, these days, so that’s something. I’d also be interested in an unconventional premise where the male/female MC isn’t attracted to any of them because they’re gay. I’d enjoy that.

joined Nov 3, 2025

i love kaoru

D5aad09a-7f7c-4c16-aad1-2b0b94587149
joined Nov 13, 2022

At least we'll always have The Young Lady Wants to be the Protagonist of a Love Comedy!.

HEARTILY SECOND THIS RECOMMENDATION

342713096_945190890232560_6363820535049258469_n
joined Mar 18, 2023

Finally one officially declares out? Two have no definitive results, one may not works out, One asked to wait (which almost like a rejection). Take away Maria, I think Riri is the front runner now.

last edited at Nov 27, 2025 8:12PM

Cs4_cover
joined Jul 13, 2015

Better say she is sad for losing an haremnete
That will be more accurate

Pp
joined May 30, 2025

Isn’t the point of most harem anime that the MC eventually has to choose the “right” girl? The only reason these mangas get popular in the first place is because there are a bunch of pretty girls and everyone wants their favorite to win. I’m not a harem fan (I just like the author’s other works), but even if it’s yuri, I still want the MC to choose one girl in the end. I just don’t think most protags in harem manga/anime deserve all the girls, let alone one lol. And let’s not pretend a “poly” relationship would benefit anyone but the MC in most cases shrug

Anyway, this manga is getting kind of messy and boring, mainly because of the MC. Which, again, isn’t surprising

Ava-min
joined Dec 8, 2022

Isn’t the point of most harem anime that the MC eventually has to choose the “right” girl?

Yeah - kinda. This whole trope would be tied in with the traditional love triangle, in which the different romance partners represent opposing values: "Do I marry the rich and handsome count, just like my family wants, even though I don't love him - Or do I run away with the dangerous outlaw, who I have passionate feelings for, but who can only offer me a life of uncertainty and instability." - And then the story will be about the character exploring these options, discovering their up- and downsides, and finally reaching a decision.

Now this classic setup works well enough for a single volume of a novel, but when you have a long running series this would get stale very fast. There is only so much you can explore between two options. So a lot of harem stories try to compensate by just throwing in more and more love-interests - What about option 3? What about option 4? In the end the protagonist is of course still expected to choose one of them - and I don't think I have seen one of these series where his choice isn't one of the initial two (unless it is a true harem ending, which does indeed happen sometimes).

Can't say I am a big fan of harem series either for this reason. A lot of them are just watered-down love-triangles.

543633_50
joined Sep 10, 2022

Isn’t the point of most harem anime that the MC eventually has to choose the “right” girl?

Yeah - kinda. This whole trope would be tied in with the traditional love triangle, in which the different romance partners represent opposing values: "Do I marry the rich and handsome count, just like my family wants, even though I don't love him - Or do I run away with the dangerous outlaw, who I have passionate feelings for, but who can only offer me a life of uncertainty and instability." - And then the story will be about the character exploring these options, discovering their up- and downsides, and finally reaching a decision.

Now this classic setup works well enough for a single volume of a novel, but when you have a long running series this would get stale very fast. There is only so much you can explore between two options. So a lot of harem stories try to compensate by just throwing in more and more love-interests - What about option 3? What about option 4? In the end the protagonist is of course still expected to choose one of them - and I don't think I have seen one of these series where his choice isn't one of the initial two (unless it is a true harem ending, which does indeed happen sometimes).

Can't say I am a big fan of harem series either for this reason. A lot of them are just watered-down love-triangles.

My thing with this series is she flips between being madly and singularly in love with one woman to madly and singularly in love with the next at breakneck pace. I can't take her feelings for anyone seriously when she seems so whishy washy.

After what just happened with the teacher we're supposed to believe she's genuinely and massively heartbroken about this recent departure? So much so that she's not even thinking about the teacher much anymore and can't get through the day? Then next chapter she'll be madly and singularly in love with someone else. It all feels a bit...

In some harem there is at least more acknowledgement of the competing feelings all happening at once; this series seems to tunnel vision on each "romance" one at a time, one chapter at a time and that puts me off a bit. I don't know if any of these feel like love--feels too compartmentalized. If I don't take the "love" seriously, it's fun though, so I keep up with it.

last edited at Dec 1, 2025 8:34AM

X2(edited)2
joined Jan 2, 2022

Isn’t the point of most harem anime that the MC eventually has to choose the “right” girl?

Yeah - kinda. This whole trope would be tied in with the traditional love triangle, in which the different romance partners represent opposing values: "Do I marry the rich and handsome count, just like my family wants, even though I don't love him - Or do I run away with the dangerous outlaw, who I have passionate feelings for, but who can only offer me a life of uncertainty and instability." - And then the story will be about the character exploring these options, discovering their up- and downsides, and finally reaching a decision.

Now this classic setup works well enough for a single volume of a novel, but when you have a long running series this would get stale very fast. There is only so much you can explore between two options. So a lot of harem stories try to compensate by just throwing in more and more love-interests - What about option 3? What about option 4? In the end the protagonist is of course still expected to choose one of them - and I don't think I have seen one of these series where his choice isn't one of the initial two (unless it is a true harem ending, which does indeed happen sometimes).

Can't say I am a big fan of harem series either for this reason. A lot of them are just watered-down love-triangles.

My thing with this series is she flips between being madly and singularly in love with one woman to madly and singularly in love with the next at breakneck pace. I can't take her feelings for anyone seriously when she seems so whishy washy.

After what just happened with the teacher we're supposed to believe she's genuinely and massively heartbroken about this recent departure? So much so that she's not even thinking about the teacher much anymore and can't get through the day? Then next chapter she'll be madly and singularly in love with someone else. It all feels a bit...

In some harem there is at least more acknowledgement of the competing feelings all happening at once; this series seems to tunnel vision on each "romance" one at a time, one chapter at a time and that puts me off a bit. I don't know if any of these feel like love--feels too compartmentalized. If I don't take the "love" seriously, it's fun though, so I keep up with it.

Yeah I agree with all of this. I said this back in chapter 30 and it still holds true, Mei isn't actually in love with any of these girls, just really attracted to them. She can call that love if she wants, but all the relationships seem really shallow still.

Ykn1
joined Dec 20, 2018

And now for something completely different.

Leaping%20cow
joined Sep 27, 2017

Isn’t the point of most harem anime that the MC eventually has to choose the “right” girl?

Yeah - kinda. This whole trope would be tied in with the traditional love triangle, in which the different romance partners represent opposing values: "Do I marry the rich and handsome count, just like my family wants, even though I don't love him - Or do I run away with the dangerous outlaw, who I have passionate feelings for, but who can only offer me a life of uncertainty and instability." - And then the story will be about the character exploring these options, discovering their up- and downsides, and finally reaching a decision.

Now this classic setup works well enough for a single volume of a novel, but when you have a long running series this would get stale very fast. There is only so much you can explore between two options. So a lot of harem stories try to compensate by just throwing in more and more love-interests - What about option 3? What about option 4? In the end the protagonist is of course still expected to choose one of them - and I don't think I have seen one of these series where his choice isn't one of the initial two (unless it is a true harem ending, which does indeed happen sometimes).

Can't say I am a big fan of harem series either for this reason. A lot of them are just watered-down love-triangles.

My thing with this series is she flips between being madly and singularly in love with one woman to madly and singularly in love with the next at breakneck pace. I can't take her feelings for anyone seriously when she seems so whishy washy.

After what just happened with the teacher we're supposed to believe she's genuinely and massively heartbroken about this recent departure? So much so that she's not even thinking about the teacher much anymore and can't get through the day? Then next chapter she'll be madly and singularly in love with someone else. It all feels a bit...

In some harem there is at least more acknowledgement of the competing feelings all happening at once; this series seems to tunnel vision on each "romance" one at a time, one chapter at a time and that puts me off a bit. I don't know if any of these feel like love--feels too compartmentalized. If I don't take the "love" seriously, it's fun though, so I keep up with it.

Yeah I agree with all of this. I said this back in chapter 30 and it still holds true, Mei isn't actually in love with any of these girls, just really attracted to them. She can call that love if she wants, but all the relationships seem really shallow still.

I agree that the the pacing is completely off, it's weird how our MC goes from person to person and her feelings change in such extreme ways all to progress things with the next person.

Also in regard to the initial comment in this response chain, a lot of harems do have the MC pick the "right" partner, but I would say all of those series don't understand the point of a harem. It's fine if anyone wants a monogamous relationship in a story but don't call it a harem, if I read/watch a harem series I want it to actually be a true harem. I would agree that 99% of harem protags don't deserve everyone let alone 1, though I think that's a case of the protags needing to be written better more than anything. This is why I want a lesbian harem protag that's along the lines of Rentaro, who goes to absurd rom-com lengths to fulfill the needs of every partner and make sure everyone is happy.

I wish this manga was a true harem, but it's hard to even see her with anyone at this point. I'm hoping that will change though lol

joined Mar 8, 2016

I agree that the the pacing is completely off, it's weird how our MC goes from person to person and her feelings change in such extreme ways all to progress things with the next person.

Also in regard to the initial comment in this response chain, a lot of harems do have the MC pick the "right" partner, but I would say all of those series don't understand the point of a harem. It's fine if anyone wants a monogamous relationship in a story but don't call it a harem, if I read/watch a harem series I want it to actually be a true harem. I would agree that 99% of harem protags don't deserve everyone let alone 1, though I think that's a case of the protags needing to be written better more than anything. This is why I want a lesbian harem protag that's along the lines of Rentaro, who goes to absurd rom-com lengths to fulfill the needs of every partner and make sure everyone is happy.

I wish this manga was a true harem, but it's hard to even see her with anyone at this point. I'm hoping that will change though lol

I’d say that the harem problem is not that the MC is poorly written, it’s that the MC is always intentionally written to be as nondescript and devoid of character as possible due to the idea that the MC must function as an audience self-insertion golem before anything else. If the MC has no personality, then (the idea goes) everyone will have an easier time identifying with them. Then you give all of the pizazz to the love interests. It can’t function as a story because the whole thing is a plate-spinning game - snare enough readers’ attention and then keep them interested by teasing their preferred outcome as long as possible.

Personally I think this iteration on the formula is slightly better than most due to the way the author seems to be willing to strike out candidates before the last chapter. Also, Mei has a smidgin of personality, even if it is just “guileless, naive enthusiasm for whoever and whatever is around her.” I guess you can charitably read it is “she just has so much love to give.” :D

Imagine this story with a protagonist with a MC written like, say, Mitsuki from TGSLWAGAA - guitar player who works in a record shop with her cool uncle and speaks fluent English because of her love of Western music. I mean, just that sentence is more character detail than we have on Mei in 40+ chapters. And it gives the love interests something to bounce off of BUT we know that it also eliminates like half of them off the top just by virtue of character. Which of course is why nobody ever bothers to tell a harem story about someone interesting. :)

last edited at Dec 1, 2025 3:07PM

Leaping%20cow
joined Sep 27, 2017

I’d say that the harem problem is not that the MC is poorly written, it’s that the MC is always intentionally written to be as nondescript and devoid of character as possible due to the idea that the MC must function as an audience self-insertion golem before anything else. If the MC has no personality, then (the idea goes) everyone will have an easier time identifying with them. Then you give all of the pizazz to the love interests. It can’t function as a story because the whole thing is a plate-spinning game - snare enough readers’ attention and then keep them interested by teasing their preferred outcome as long as possible.

I see what you're saying though I think even if intentional that type of MC is generally poorly written, and fair enough lol

Personally I think this iteration on the formula is slightly better than most due to the way the author seems to be willing to strike out candidates before the last chapter. Also, Mei has a smidgin of personality, even if it is just “guileless, naive enthusiasm for whoever and whatever is around her.” I guess you can charitably read it is “she just has so much love to give.” :D

Imagine this story with a protagonist with a MC written like, say, Mitsuki from TGSLWAGAA - guitar player who works in a record shop with her cool uncle and speaks fluent English because of her love of Western music. I mean, just that sentence is more character detail than we have on Mei in 40+ chapters. And it gives the love interests something to bounce off of BUT we know that it also eliminates like half of them off the top just by virtue of character. Which of course is why nobody ever bothers to tell a harem story about someone interesting. :)

I think striking out candidates clashes for me because it's not what I wanted out of the series, but if it works for you that's good. Also I do think our MC could be more interesting and still have the whole harem here, with more balanced writing, it would be likely tricky to manage and juggle but it would be doable.

X2(edited)2
joined Jan 2, 2022

We do have harems with interesting protagonists though, like The Death Defying Princess Creates a Yuri Harem to Survive or for straight stories The World God Only Knows and The Extra's Academy Survival Guide, so it's not like it isn't possible.

543633_50
joined Sep 10, 2022

We do have harems with interesting protagonists though, like The Death Defying Princess Creates a Yuri Harem to Survive or for straight stories The World God Only Knows and The Extra's Academy Survival Guide, so it's not like it isn't possible.

It's possible but harder and that's often the issue I see. Also some author's grew up on this stuff and just want to do what they've seen done before but with a slight spin. Others are artists but not really writers so they seem to pick plot points and characters off a "this is what's worked before" conveyor belt. That's been my impression at least. It doesn't feel like they have the same writer/artist team thing we do in graphic novels and comic in the west. Some series I really wish had a dedicated writer instead.

last edited at Dec 1, 2025 3:49PM

Leaping%20cow
joined Sep 27, 2017

We do have harems with interesting protagonists though, like The Death Defying Princess Creates a Yuri Harem to Survive or for straight stories The World God Only Knows and The Extra's Academy Survival Guide, so it's not like it isn't possible.

It's possible but harder and that's often the issue I see. Also some author's grew up on this stuff and just want to do what they've seen done before but with a slight spin. Others are artists but not really writers so they seem to pick plot points and characters off a "this is what's worked before" conveyor belt. That's been my impression at least. It doesn't feel like they have the same writer/artist team thing we do in graphic novels and comic in the west. Some series I really wish had a dedicated writer instead.

There are various manga with teams but yeah it's not as common as graphic novels/comics in the West. Though the West also has solo series as well. Some people can do both art and write, really depends of course.

543633_50
joined Sep 10, 2022

We do have harems with interesting protagonists though, like The Death Defying Princess Creates a Yuri Harem to Survive or for straight stories The World God Only Knows and The Extra's Academy Survival Guide, so it's not like it isn't possible.

It's possible but harder and that's often the issue I see. Also some author's grew up on this stuff and just want to do what they've seen done before but with a slight spin. Others are artists but not really writers so they seem to pick plot points and characters off a "this is what's worked before" conveyor belt. That's been my impression at least. It doesn't feel like they have the same writer/artist team thing we do in graphic novels and comic in the west. Some series I really wish had a dedicated writer instead.

There are various manga with teams but yeah it's not as common as graphic novels/comics in the West. Though the West also has solo series as well. Some people can do both art and write, really depends of course.

Yeah, it definitely depends. Hopefully, this one sticks the landing.

Mariya%20and%20karin%202
joined Nov 27, 2022

I just dont see the spark between Mei and Kaoru or Minato. Rooting for Maria, then Karen, then Riri. ♡ holding strong. I miss the suggestive flirting stage.

Tron-legacy
joined Dec 11, 2017

I mean, the point of harem manga is to have a bunch of cute girls of various types to appeal to a wide range of readers with different tastes. You'll have the little sister type, the big sister type, the tsundere, the serious one, the childhood friend, etc etc. The point isn't that all of them actually have a shot at being endgame, usually, the point is just to have them get into all kinds of silly antics where their personalities get to shine and entertain the reader. Because harem stories aren't harems for the MC, they're harems for the reader. So everybody can see their fave go through story arcs and develop feelings and learn and grow. We aren't really getting much of that here? I mean, the girls all have sort of the outline of a personality, but I personally kinda feel like Mei doesn't have real chemistry with most of them, and they don't really have much going on beyond "they have some basic traits to differentiate them and they're all in love with Mei for some reason."

Like, going to the "patient zero" of harem series...Love Hina had a half-dozen girls as main characters, and there is exactly one of them that we all knew was always going to be the one. But all the girls had distinct arcs, and their own stories going on, and sure, we all know Keitarou isn't gonna get with Motoko, but that was never the point. They all had a relationship with him that was unique to them.

There are stories that are about "who will the MC choose?" where it's framed as an actual question, but like, you have to develop the relationships for that to work, and 5 characters is a lot to do that with. And having her ping-pong between them without any real time to develop any of the bonds makes her just feel fickle.

Like, I don't buy her being broken hearted about Kaoru for a second. Their entire relationship was based on "Mei thinks Kaoru is hot." I mean, remember that scene where they formed a meaningful bond that was based on shared interests and/or compatible personalities?

Me neither, because there wasn't one.

543633_50
joined Sep 10, 2022

Like, I don't buy her being broken hearted about Kaoru for a second. Their entire relationship was based on "Mei thinks Kaoru is hot." I mean, remember that scene where they formed a meaningful bond that was based on shared interests and/or compatible personalities?

Me neither, because there wasn't one.

Yeah we're on the same page here for sure. Exactly my feeling. It all feels very shallow. I've just put the series in the mindless fun category and I assume that's all it wants to be (because if it intends more than that, it's not doing a good job).

last edited at Dec 1, 2025 10:10PM

joined Jul 15, 2020

I'll just say it, Riri, although not the one with least relatioship development with Soraike(Kaoru was that one, sadly) is probably the most boring one of all the potential lovers. The series has fallen off for me for a while. I either wanted Maria or all of them.

Img_2249
joined Mar 21, 2025

Overdue comment time!

Like I have said on another manga website, this chapter didn’t do much for me because it reminded me of certain aspects of the “harem” stuff that I tend to find rather frustrating.

Sometimes I can see how some love interests get buffed or nerfed so hard in one chapter (or over a couple of chapters) and then the story just stops right there until the next update! I don’t even know what will happen next and it even feels like the whole thing is ending!

However … I just think it’s just the manga stopping point between chapters are to blame. Because I remember those final panel of chapters tend to be tremendously misleading in terms of the MC’s status. I can almost say with certainty that she will get in touch with the other interests in the next chapter and start to doubt her decisions again, but right now we just don’t know what’s going on with the author’s head. And this kind of suspension between chapters implies a kind of anticlimactic approach, (I don’t think the author would take it still, but that’s what it’s currently implying) and I don’t like it.

I think I remembered how Tamamusi said it before that the story is paced faster because it can be hard to focus on everyone or something. But making the MC changing her mindset so quickly, not mention without any of her other love interests appearing in the same chapter…is not really the kind of focus necessary at the moment, I guess?

I should come back after a month and find out, or I’ll wait for what the next author’s notes say. I still can’t believe that she’s honestly going to shave off the competition like this (I mean if things go like they were, we can guess who’s next to go on the list).

Finally, I’ll leave what I value most in those “harem” stories (I still only read Yuri of the genre tho) and that’s a kind of balanced effort between characters and the clashing/building of various dynamics. Not just between MC and love interests but also between love interests and see how they connect. Most importantly, the MC needs to evaluate her relationship with everyone, so that she can make her ultimate decision.

Until next time!

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