And what about the girlfriend and the fact how much turned on she was with Akuzaki-girl?
It was my favorite detail and highlight from the beginning of the story.

(Actually, I would keep following this story just because of her, not because of male MC. Just sayin' to be known)

The point is not that if you're finding the story compelling, you're obviously trans and should seek transition. It's that if the story speaks to you in certain ways it's worth figuring out what those reasons are, and working with people to help you on any journeys of discovery that might come along with it. The goal is not transition but a deeper understanding of what your own self-conception actually is, and that can't be done without exploring some ideas that might otherwise remain covered up in a bigoted society.

Thank you, I'm glad someone understood what I meant :) I very specifically did not say "if you'd take this bargain you're trans," just that you've got some big questions to think about and to talk about, just like our MC in this manga. Our MC who probably is trans or genderqueer based on their surprisingly high degree of being comfortable being in a woman's body lol.
A very under-discussed aspect of sex and gender is hormones, they might be the single least publicly appreciated part of the whole thing. It's hormones that inform how your body develops in the first place, and there's various situations that can cause those hormones to be different than expected, resulting in cis women with XY sex chromosomes for example. A great indicator that someone might be cis is if that person is comfortable with their body's default hormonal environment that it internally produces and only that environment: When you give a cis person the "wrong" hormonal environment, they tend to have strong negative reactions to the feeling on a gut level. It's a relatively common experience that there's lots of testimony for, like cis men getting treated for prostate problems with T blockers, and they report feeling discomfort with it and tend to be weepy. This is also why those international sports decisions demanding certain women take hormones to change their body's natural hormonal environment is so unbelievably cruel, and many people realize that on an emotional level without even needing specific knowledge.
So when our MC is suddenly thrown from 100% male body to 100% female body type, and adapts really well to it and is pretty much stable? That tells us they've got at least a far more flexible relationship with gender on a gut level than a typical cis person. And sure, you can handwave that stable reaction as part of the "magic," but that's a boring and lazy idea. We can't just assume there aren't plenty of men in this setting for whom this kiss would be a nightmare just because it isn't a nightmare for the MC. If everyone who gets turned into a girl by this "curse" likes it, then it wouldn't be a "curse" at all.

last edited at Jan 17, 2024 8:19PM

Movies, sure, but I'm thinking more in terms of short stories and interactive fiction (sorry for not being more clear about this) where there isn't much need for a large budget. It's much more feasible to be financially stable seeking an audience of mostly trans people. I agree that when we're talking about stuff that's working more mainstream you get the issues of stuff like misery/inspiration porn like that. (It's a certain kind of funny to consider that after The Danish Girl that Eddie Redmayne gets cast in the Harry Potter spinoff series and Rowling starts getting public about terfy opinions).

I think Eddie isn't too problematic in that sense? I remember hearing that he admitted, some time later, that he shouldn't have auditioned for the part in Danish Girl and that it should have gone to a trans person instead. He was also one of the people from the HP franchise who spoke out in support of trans folks when JKR started her public crusade against us.

I also remember hearing that the director for the Danish Girl auditioned a bunch of trans people but didn't feel that they had what he wanted, and that he only found it when Eddie auditioned. I suppose what he wanted was the stereotypes.

.

(Actually, I would keep following this story just because of her, not because of male MC. Just sayin' to be known)

I too find her more interesting as a character than MC.

.

like cis men getting treated for prostate problems with T blockers, and they report feeling discomfort with it and tend to be weepy

Idk, I've spent some of my university time in the oncology clinic, and I've never actually heard a cis guy with prostate cancer complain that ciproterone or goserelin made them weepy (or more emotional in any way). The chief complaint (and quite often the only complaint) is lack of an erection. (I'm not saying that hormones don't mess with your emotions, because many people who menstruate will argue that it does, and they'd be right. I just don't see it in this particular scenario).

.

This is also why those international sports decisions demanding certain women take hormones to change their body's natural hormonal environment is so unbelievably cruel, and many people realize that on an emotional level without even needing specific knowledge.

That's a complicated question, and it's for a different reason than what you said. Speaking as a healthcare professional, requiring anyone to use a specific drug in order to compete in an event should not be allowed. It's iatrogenic. Drugs can have benefits, but they also carry significant risks. If a trans woman uses ciproterone to lower her testosterone, then goes on to develop liver cancer, how much of that is the olympics comittee's fault?

In defense of the sports people, it's a complicated decision for them to make too. There's a reason we can't abolish the men's and women's divisions in sport, besides all the sexism: testosterone is anabolic, and it offers an advantage in terms of muscle mass. If we choose to allow anyone to compete in any category based on self-identification, regardless of testosterone levels, you'll have cis women arguing that trans women have an unfair advantage in their sport. Many cis women already do that, but right now they're wrong. If you remove the testosterone restriction, they won't be.

Ok, so how about we abolish those gender divisions? Have everyone compete in the same category. That's not a bad idea. Except... cis women are generally banned from using testosterone to compete in those sports, but you shouldn't forbid trans men from using it (actually, I think they do forbid it...? but they really shouldn't), so you're going to have to allow any athlete to use testosterone, and -- naturally, given how competitive those sports are -- a lot of them will. That translates into a public health problem in the sports division.

So they choose to allow self-identification (good), but require your testosterone to fall in a specific range to compete in the women's category (bad). That discriminates against intersex cis women who have testosterone levels above the usual range. It is iatrogenic with trans women who are required to use testosterone blockers. But can you really change that rule without causing a whole heap of other problems?

See the issue? It is not simple.

last edited at Jan 17, 2024 10:20PM

I don't care about the specific arguments for and against the sports shit and especially I don't at all care about the sanctity of "fair competition" compared to the rights of individuals to live and work in public without strangers fucking with their bodies. The example is purely about the potential emotional impact of forcing someone to change their hormones and generally their gendered aspects: most people know that's wrong on a gut level, even if they'd force it on other people. Even the transphobes think trans people are somehow "forcing" people to join them. The MC of this comic is forced to change their body by the "curse" and seems basically fine with it, which is an abnormal response (reread chapter two, the parents are pretty explicit about this, most people react extremely negatively). That tells us something about their character.
I could get into more details that convince me the MC is likely being intentionally written as a trans character, like all the details about their life as a "guy" especially, but those aspects are more vague and if people can't see it, then they can't see it. I've tried pointing that stuff out in the past and only other trans people tend to get it, unfortunately.

Movies, sure, but I'm thinking more in terms of short stories and interactive fiction (sorry for not being more clear about this) where there isn't much need for a large budget. It's much more feasible to be financially stable seeking an audience of mostly trans people. I agree that when we're talking about stuff that's working more mainstream you get the issues of stuff like misery/inspiration porn like that. (It's a certain kind of funny to consider that after The Danish Girl that Eddie Redmayne gets cast in the Harry Potter spinoff series and Rowling starts getting public about terfy opinions).

I think Eddie isn't too problematic in that sense? I remember hearing that he admitted, some time later, that he shouldn't have auditioned for the part in Danish Girl and that it should have gone to a trans person instead. He was also one of the people from the HP franchise who spoke out in support of trans folks when JKR started her public crusade against us.

I also remember hearing that the director for the Danish Girl auditioned a bunch of trans people but didn't feel that they had what he wanted, and that he only found it when Eddie auditioned. I suppose what he wanted was the stereotypes.

Agreed -- What I mean is that the stereotypes seems to be what people like Rowling must have taken away from it. A real indication for the doubters in the room that these bad stories can lead to real, negative consequences.

LOOOOL THAT WAS A HELL OF AN ENDING

also tsubakida is so into akizuki and now that he's turned into a girl it's so obvious what's gonna happen lol

edit: the fuck's going on in the comment bro??? what's people fighting for lol I'm trans and I think this manga speaks levels on a lot of issues related and does not harm anyone, so what's happening exactly?

last edited at Jan 17, 2024 11:47PM

OH NO WHAT A TWIST

The point is not that if you're finding the story compelling, you're obviously trans and should seek transition. It's that if the story speaks to you in certain ways it's worth figuring out what those reasons are, and working with people to help you on any journeys of discovery that might come along with it. The goal is not transition but a deeper understanding of what your own self-conception actually is, and that can't be done without exploring some ideas that might otherwise remain covered up in a bigoted society.

In most cases transition IS the only way. You, saying that you are cis, can't know it because you feel good on hormones which your body produces naturally. But try to live for some time just being misgendered and let others use wrong pronounces on you, and I guarantee that you will feel discomfort almost immediately being addressed wrongly. Imagine how is to live with same feeling for years or decades, or even whole your life.
Identity is about being addressed by YOUR REAL NAME, gender pronounces are just one step behind it.
And having REAL NAME is the most important thing for every person.
Because when someone calls you, you answer knowing it IS your name and YOUR destiny seal. Why would we, trans people, answer to others while being addressed wrongly? Why do we have to live destiny of someone else, being addressed by wrong name and forced by society and others to respond on "wrong call"? It makes us liars! (must add where I live I can't change my name legally and it's really hostile area)
Think about it deeply, because maybe nobody presented it to you like this, before.

For me transition was question of life and death. Without switching hormones and starting to be visible as man, I would die, simply wither.
If I tell you that I was even in some kind of marriage with two kids, simply vegetating and living on autopilot, until I figured out that I AM trans man, what would you say?
That I was simply "insane" to leave some from outside looking comfortable life and privileges to chase after some "illusion"?
After trying so hard to BE a woman and "fulfill my duties" I realized that I was just playing some role of woman, that it drains almost all my life energy.
And I was already mature and in my 30's, so you can't say that I was simply influenced with some kind of stories (like this manga and similar, as you say), when I even did not know what word transgender means, or that it exist! (My body was my grave in that time. Until I started to give birth to myself, becoming visible as a man)

But I'm telling you, after revelation, 24 hours was enough for me to decide that I will go all the way. To do it for myself (I was living for others to be happy, but I wasn't, and I simply owed it to myself)
For personal reasons (not health) let's say that I can't go all the way (at least for now).
So I decided only to take hormones without surgeries, that I can have complete control which system of hormones I will use and switch when I am forced by some hard life circumstances, or like when I saw that I'm starting to lose some hair on top of my head because of T, I simply switch (return on body natural hormones, let my hair grow again and I switch again on T).
And I can say that I feel better on T, like, million times.
I really tried so hard to be a woman, but I am NOT a woman!
Without transition and visibility of my real identity, I feel suffocated.
So, would you rather leave trans person to die, than let them transition?
You never experienced hell of puberty, when you would become aware that you are completely helpless to stop your boobs to grow, that you are turning into a woman! (I just did not have a word and knowledge to utter that my feelings are feelings of man in that time, but I knew always, like in an abstract way)

For that reasons I'm completely pro for giving kids hormone blockers, knowing the hell of wrong puberty from personal experience, and knowing that switching hormonal systems is completely manageable and safe. It's like programming your body, similar as computer. Body can work both ways, genitals are irrelevant for it, for which system of hormones you will use (that's why it's called replacement)
But, oh, people are so self-righteous and they care so much about bodies of others and what will someone do with their body, like that they own the body of that someone else. Oh, yes. What delusion.

last edited at Jan 18, 2024 5:33AM

edit: the fuck's going on in the comment bro??? what's people fighting for lol I'm trans and I think this manga speaks levels on a lot of issues related and does not harm anyone, so what's happening exactly?

Hahaha, some of us are "arguing" is MC "antigravitational" trans man (by turning supernaturally into the girl from his previous cis form, like some kind of reversal transition process) or trans girl who was male at the beginning but fulfilled her unconscious wishes accidentally (again in supernatural way)

last edited at Jan 18, 2024 4:52AM

I don't know how you can read the character as a trans man when they don't express any particular discomfort with the physical experience of being a woman except "it's hard to sleep with boobs" on the first night. They don't express anything akin to gender dysphoria when transformed into a girl. There's the initial shock of a supernatural event, a bit of confusion, but mostly concern for their gf. The gf's parents even found it hilarious that the MC was more concerned about experiencing their first kiss than experiencing a genderswap. There's very little here to establish any sort of masculine identity for them except the one line at the end of chapter two, "Even if I'm a girl, I'll show you I can be a man worthy of being your boyfriend!" And to be honest that line mostly feels like it's there and written that way to be a funny punchline to end the chapter with, rather than informative about their character. As we see in chapter 3, the MC followed this up by pretty much claiming to be trans to their gf, who seems to love that idea and find the MC even more attractive because of it (lol chaser). They then enjoy dressing up, get really happy when complimented in feminine terms , and then finally look at their own reflection and feel spellbound rather than awkward, relating to their gf's earlier words about feeling confident through the "magic" of dressing up cute for your lover.

If the MC's gender identity is male then he's getting put through some kind of weird forcefemme conversion therapy by his gf and unlike real conversion therapy it seems to be working very well on him. That's a pretty disturbing narrative, a sinister tale of a man's identity being erased and rewritten without respecting his will, and I don't think the tone of the story is nearly that dark lol. i don't think I've ever seen any genderbender story go in that direction tbh.
If we instead read her gender identity as a woman, it's a tale of a girl having her egg cracked and getting to explore a wonderful new world where she feels like herself for the first time, and grows more and more comfortable with it. The tone of the series so far definitely seems more in line with that.

I'm gonna continue using they/them for the mc for the time being, they're being presented pretty fluidly so far, but it looks like it's leaning feminine pretty hard lately.

last edited at Jan 18, 2024 6:47AM

HayaH's argument is that the MC is becoming someone who has a male gender identity in a body typically considered female (i.e. uterus, ovaries, et cetera). It's a reasonable argument.

Conversely, one could consider MC a trans woman on the basis of being assigned male at birth if they turn out to identify as female, regardless of the curse.

Since this is a story about magic and stuff, at some point the regular definitions of cis and trans fail to apply. Language fails us here.

(must add where I live I can't change my name legally and it's really hostile area)

Oh, that's hell. I hope things get better. Please do take care and don't put yourself needlessly at risk.

We don't actually know if the MC has a uterus and ovaries in their girl mode: this manga is somewhat uncommon for the genre in completely excluding any mention of genitals so far. The only gendered aspect of their body they comment on is growing tits. Even by implication, the only thing is the gf's parents having kids. It's technically possible GRS is not part of this curse's care package lol. I'm not expecting that to be true but hey, you never know lol.

I don't know how you can read the character as a trans man when they don't express any particular discomfort with the physical experience of being a woman except "it's hard to sleep with boobs" on the first night. They don't express anything akin to gender dysphoria when transformed into a girl. There's the initial shock of a supernatural event, a bit of confusion, but mostly concern for their gf.

We are in disagreement only because you are trying to define trans person through feelings of gender dysphoria and discomfort, what is not wrong. But is not enough.
You are lacking to observe abstract aspects of the character, his psychological and emotional state, his self-awareness and his mindset.
It is given through his inner monologues.
For myself, he is thinking and feeling more like any normal man (male) than trans girl in her awakening.
Also, considering initial shock and novelty of situation, we can't say that he is 100% aware what exactly is happening to him, what his priorities should be, etc.
What I want to say, he simply did not have time to digest and process everything, in such a short time. So, his reactions we can't consider as definite or completely valuable while he is under the influence of shock (similar like that he is under the influences of drugs).

I'm trying to make you more aware that we should not neglect that spiritual (abstract) aspect (psyche-emotions-awareness) in transgender "phenomena". It is invisible and abstract, but it is still present!
We can't neglect from where that awareness of being trapped in the wrong body comes, why it reflects through gender dysphoria (generally), etc.
For me, the main reason why someone is trans is the mindset (self-awareness, gender identity, "ghost of a boy or a girl who lives in body of opposite gender", call it however you want it IS abstract and invisible), not gender dysphoria itself (it's reflection of that "thing" we feel).
From personal experience, I'm someone who must make compromises because of life-circumstances and I have to live learning to diminish feelings of gender dysphoria as most as I can.
Maybe because I'm asexual also helps. I suppose if I'm a sexual being those interactions would amplify feelings of gender dysphoria, so I'm fine as I am. (also my death experience split my life in two parts and changed me. I am now more like someone split in two by circumstances (not DID, it's still me just "me before" and "me after" have some inexplicable differences)
This "me after" is more gender neutral and asexual version than "me before" who was typical trans guy who was bi and a little bit wild.
"Me after" also don't drink alcohols, but "me before" was an alcoholic, and it changed just in few hours like it never existed, without any treatments and cravings! It's really strange. I really can't explain.
And it just happened.

I want to tell you with those examples that gender dysphoria can be controlled, that you can actually learn to live with it, and diminish to almost non-existent without going completely through whole process of transition. So, it's about psyche (mindset), emotions, and awareness of self.
And from other examples, lets say that it was some kind of supernatural power which changed me completely. I died (of poison). I returned.
And nothing was the same after it...
That's why I can read MC as a trans man and understand supernatural element as something "possible", or consider those "superpowers" differently than other readers.
(but I doubt that in manga MC as trans guy will really be the case if it is yuri ending)

If the MC's gender identity is male then he's getting put through some kind of weird forcefemme conversion therapy by his gf and unlike real conversion therapy it seems to be working very well on him. That's a pretty disturbing narrative, a sinister tale of a man's identity being erased and rewritten without respecting his will, and I don't think the tone of the story is nearly that dark lol. i don't think I've ever seen any genderbender story go in that direction tbh.
If we instead read her gender identity as a woman, it's a tale of a girl having her egg cracked and getting to explore a wonderful new world where she feels like herself for the first time, and grows more and more comfortable with it. The tone of the series so far definitely seems more in line with that.

If you would believe, it's not that I'm disagreeing with you.
I'm completely aware that my theory is more toxic or dark than theory about trans girl awakening.
My point was just to awake awareness about trans guys who indeed can be in 100% female body, fall in love with a girl, etc.
I by myself experienced it and tried to identify myself as a lesbian, but I felt wrong because I was not aware of myself as woman, I just THOUGHT that I am woman by default. If you can make the difference and catch what I want to say.

I'm gonna continue using they/them for the mc for the time being, they're being presented pretty fluidly so far, but it looks like it's leaning feminine pretty hard lately.

I noticed. And it's fair. I'm using he/him because I still perceive him as a male (until it eventually changes I will adapt anyway)

last edited at Jan 18, 2024 9:08AM

HayaH's argument is that the MC is becoming someone who has a male gender identity in a body typically considered female (i.e. uterus, ovaries, et cetera). It's a reasonable argument.

Yes. I explained it in other comment. There IS the difference in mindsets of men and women, and trans persons are closer to mindsets of opposite gender, than assigned.
If it is not true, there would be not feelings of gender dysphoria.
(simply, I'm observing MC "retrograde". Sometimes going backward is the way)

(must add where I live I can't change my name legally and it's really hostile area)

Oh, that's hell. I hope things get better. Please do take care and don't put yourself needlessly at risk.

Yeah, don't worry, I'm managing. I learnt to be very cunning to avoid obstacles and unnecessary explanations of myself to strangers.
Sometimes it's a thrilllll

Well of this is what we are talking about then so be it

From my perspective the MC seems like a perfectly regular reserved boy. Who has neither shown any indication of not caring about genders nor being obsessed with them.

He lives with his grandpa and isn't very outgoing, desperately wants his romance to succeed, has a decent backbone, not used to being adventurous, bit of an overthinker.

Rather normal on most fronts

^This is what I'm talking about, my argument and very similar perception of the character.
And we have now supernatural element replacing this very regular boy into situation in which every trans guy finds himself.
Manga makes it look like "regression", contra transition (going backward of what usually happens in reality)

And this is very good example to show that every trans guy or girl, placed in right body assigned sex, would be just regular like any other cis person (like MC in his original form).
If you can catch my point and what I'm trying to explain to people.
You would not be able to find anything strange about them.
That's why transition is very important for majority of us and should not be denied or strictly controlled by some kind of "authorities" who are giving to themselves rights to make decision about our own destiny.
It's not human, it's degrading.

Well of this is what we are talking about then so be it

From my perspective the MC seems like a perfectly regular reserved boy. Who has neither shown any indication of not caring about genders nor being obsessed with them.

He lives with his grandpa and isn't very outgoing, desperately wants his romance to succeed, has a decent backbone, not used to being adventurous, bit of an overthinker.

Rather normal on most fronts

^This is what I'm talking about, my argument and very similar perception of the character.
And we have now supernatural element replacing this very regular boy into situation in which every trans guy finds himself.
Manga makes it look like "regression", contra transition (going backward of what usually happens in reality)

And this is very good example to show that every trans guy or girl, placed in right body assigned sex, would be just regular like any other cis person (like MC in his original form).
If you can catch my point and what I'm trying to explain to people.
You would not be able to find anything strange about them.
That's why transition is very important for majority of us and should not be denied or strictly controlled by some kind of "authorities" who are giving to themselves rights to make decision about our own destiny.
It's not human, it's degrading.

I have seen people I would have never suspected come out as trans

But with that said I'm in that boring camp that thinks that just because a story has gender bender it doesn't mean it's about being transgender. "What of someone ended up in an impossible experience" is one of the oldest setups ever

But of there are people who feel seen then good for them

^Yeah, I completely get your points. Gender bender manga indeed makes those trans-like situations, and I'm just pointing on them from my perspective.
That's why I made a clear line telling that character is not trans (not showing any gender "issues" living regularly as a boy and you had similar perception), but he becomes trans or trans-like (by some supernatural force here)

Anyway is too early to see where story really goes.
But it is interesting to see very different opinions and arguments of people.
I'm taking all of them as valid, even if they oppose with mine.
We all are speaking the truth from our perspectives.
And that makes the thing superinteresting. Because nobody of us is wrong here. It's just great that we can exchange so many experiences and learn here a lot!

Just coming to say that I freaking love this series

It's worth pointing out that this series has specifically signaled trans people as a potential topi, as both a lens with which to view those effected by the curse and a comparison to consider in the second chapter, where the gf says "I thought my father just changed sexes before now, believing in a curse was like believing in Santa Claus".

Maybe because I'm asexual also helps.

Ooo neat. I love finding fellow aceys in the wild. I'm gray-ace, myself.

(but I doubt that in manga MC as trans guy will really be the case if it is yuri ending)

We don't know that yet? I see this isn't tagged as either yuri or het, probably because mods are waiting to see which way this story goes.

If the MC's gender identity is male then he's getting put through some kind of weird forcefemme conversion therapy by his gf and unlike real conversion therapy it seems to be working very well on him. That's a pretty disturbing narrative, a sinister tale of a man's identity being erased and rewritten without respecting his will, and I don't think the tone of the story is nearly that dark lol. i don't think I've ever seen any genderbender story go in that direction tbh.
If we instead read her gender identity as a woman, it's a tale of a girl having her egg cracked and getting to explore a wonderful new world where she feels like herself for the first time, and grows more and more comfortable with it. The tone of the series so far definitely seems more in line with that.

While I agree, I don't expect this story to go either way. It'll probably be just "I don't care about gender so long as I can be with you", without any deeper discussion of gender identity, much like Nya-chan predicted. Just "i guess i'm a girl now, that's life, huh?"

(but I doubt that in manga MC as trans guy will really be the case if it is yuri ending)

We don't know that yet? I see this isn't tagged as either yuri or het, probably because mods are waiting to see which way this story goes.

I also think the same. What is the most interesting detail, we ALREADY have yuri (what we see is two girls are kissing)
And why we don't have tag yuri? Because of not knowing exact gender identity of MC for now. Or, if he identifies as man, yuri tag would be wrong, whatever we see with our own eyes.
I can say from my pre-transitional personal experience from my so-called marriage with cis man, we perfectly looked from outside like any normal het couple. But actually it was TOTALY INVISIBLE TO OTHERS GAY MARRIAGE, hahahaha
And it was approved by society and everyone who saw "the picture"
(well, I played a role of a woman from the outside, but we never had that typical connection male-female, man-woman like other het couples, something always was off). When I finally figured out and came out to him as transgender man, he said: "You know, you might be right", but he could not accept it. Or if he could a bit later, it was already too late ( I was not sure is he really accepting me or the apartment given to me to live there).

Great examples how (gender) identity truly is important (especially for understanding ourselves and other people).
If we look just "the picture", it can trick us.
That's why I'm stubbornly pointing on and on, on importance of what is inside "the shell". On importance of inner being, self-awareness, psyche, emotions, mindset, everything what is abstract and invisible but constantly present. And it's knocking, knocking until one day is strong enough to break that shell and come out. Nobody should suppress it, neither we who have it, nor strangers who don't have it but want to mess with our life anyway.

While I agree, I don't expect this story to go either way. It'll probably be just "I don't care about gender so long as I can be with you", without any deeper discussion of gender identity, much like Nya-chan predicted. Just "i guess i'm a girl now, that's life, huh?"

Yes, I understood Nya-chan's arguments. Maybe author indeed does not have in mind nothing related to gender identities. We'll see...

Unfortunately, we don't have many safe and trans friendly places to talk openly without being exposed to mockery or additional discomforts. For me, who is living in very hostile environment where laws don't recognize transgender people in transition, only accomplished transsexuals, it's really important to feel safe to be visible.
We can only change name in some gender neutral but we can't change assigned sex in our documents. And, even I'm passing as a male now, until bottom surgery I won't be recognized. It's like people in transition don't exist. Or, if someone can't go all the way from any reasons, is doomed.
I had a few situations in bank and post where employers started to question my identity and there was a line behind me, like, 100 people (imagine, they see a male, but documents are saying female). It's public outing, and can be very dangerous. I felt very uncomfortable to be called out like that, but I shut up mouth of that employer.
I might be careful, but it does not mean I'm a coward and won't stand up for myself even threatened with violence.
I knew that choosing transition I will lose everyone, my "friends" and "family" and my privileges, but I am getting myself. He who lives in this body is precious to me and I won't give up of him until he is born in completely safe place.

I was for so long very reluctant to comment here openly as trans guy, because of all those circumstances in rl. I suppose additional pressures are make me feel like a snail.
It would be really pity if people here become hostile toward me.
I would like just to have some enough safe space to rest from my battles in reality (but I won't put my guard down even in my sleep until I turn the whole world into safe place for everyone oppressed now)

Maybe because I'm asexual also helps.

Ooo neat. I love finding fellow aceys in the wild. I'm gray-ace, myself.

O, that's superfine. I think I was gray before "day D" in my life (if you remember some of my previous comments to you (I think it was response to you) when I said that I might be asexual but not sure if I already was before "day D" or I just experimented or going with the flow)

I was switching (bf-gf-bf-gf-etc) hahahaha
But I think I didn't feel fully comfortable in any relationship, gender irrelevant. That's why I think I was in gray area in that time.
After "day D" (when I died and returned) it seems that I reached some kind of... nirvana? state. I lost my desires (not from depression, I did not lose my will and joy for life) -trust me, losing desire for alcoholic drinks during life-cut, was something wonderful. I had a habit to buy beer cans, trying to drink as usually, but when I noticed that I'm throwing out almost full cans day by day, I just stopped to buy them to save my money and stopped to drink alcohol. And never again I felt desire to drink again.
Really strange, I was an alcoholic drinking daily, and from "today to tomorrow" I wake up and I find that I'm not an alcoholic anymore. Great, just great, what else I can say?

Then, I am not suffering anymore (inconveniences in my life are really insignificant or turn to something better), I have expanded awareness of myself and others, and knowledge of many other things.
I don't feel sexual attraction to anyone (even not romantical, I'm just kind to people). It wasn't like that before...
But I enjoy a lot aesthetical aspect of sexuality (reading yuri manga is great example)
My dark side is like a shadow on the sunny day.

Sorry, I haven't read the entire topic, but I will say that the MC could be gender-fluid or even gender-apathetic. I know personally, I'd love to be able to flip between bodily configurations freely, based entirely on whim. The MC did express that he's not exactly comfortable with the situation, but his love for his GF outweighs that. At this point, it really is just "wait and see".

Sorry, I haven't read the entire topic, but I will say that the MC could be gender-fluid or even gender-apathetic. I know personally, I'd love to be able to flip between bodily configurations freely, based entirely on whim. The MC did express that he's not exactly comfortable with the situation, but his love for his GF outweighs that. At this point, it really is just "wait and see".

Thank you very much for sharing your personal POV. What you say is very interesting and very possible.
As I said above in some of my comments, at this point nobody who commented is wrong. Everything what EVERY commenter said is completely valid. We all are recognizing situations according to our own experiences or struggles.

For me who is forced to be complete outsider and solo in my battles with people and society, and as someone who lives in an appendix of the world where I am cut off and can't meet any openly queer person, this discussion is very important and educative.
I'm very interested to see and hear what other people have to say sharing so many different opinions, experiences, and possibilities.
And this is exact point of the story where we all can do it and won't be wrong, however the author turns the storyline.

So, my personal thanks to everyone who commented and will comment to share personal POV's or express themselves here.

The way the protagonist went back to (vaguely) confront - or mostly justify himself - to the (kinda) bully dude just comes across as incredibly weird.

Not sure what to make of the "dramatic development" at the end. Feels like it might be a rather unnecessary distraction from the relationship stuff.

I knew that choosing transition I will lose everyone, my "friends" and "family" and my privileges, but I am getting myself. He who lives in this body is precious to me and I won't give up of him until he is born in completely safe place.

Good luck to you. I hope you find new connections with the right kinds of people.

I was for so long very reluctant to comment here openly as trans guy, because of all those circumstances in rl. I suppose additional pressures are make me feel like a snail.
It would be really pity if people here become hostile toward me.

Dynasty is ~generally~ very trans-positive. I can say that most people here will be welcoming to you. That said, if anyone tries to give you shit about being a trans guy (or asexual, or whatever), I and others will come to your aid.

I would like just to have some enough safe space to rest from my battles in reality (but I won't put my guard down even in my sleep until I turn the whole world into safe place for everyone oppressed now)

Whoa, calm down, you don't have to change the world by yourself! There's plenty of us out there, we're all working together to build a better society, locally and internationally. So if fighting ever becomes too much, take a moment, breathe, leave the fight to us for a while, until you recover. It will be all right.

After "day D" (when I died and returned) it seems that I reached some kind of... nirvana? state. I lost my desires (not from depression, I did not lose my will and joy for life) -trust me, losing desire for alcoholic drinks during life-cut, was something wonderful. I had a habit to buy beer cans, trying to drink as usually, but when I noticed that I'm throwing out almost full cans day by day, I just stopped to buy them to save my money and stopped to drink alcohol. And never again I felt desire to drink again.
Really strange, I was an alcoholic drinking daily, and from "today to tomorrow" I wake up and I find that I'm not an alcoholic anymore. Great, just great, what else I can say?

That's really interesting, thanks for sharing!