Forum › Trying Out Marriage With My Female Friend discussion

Tron-legacy
joined Dec 11, 2017

This chapter is clearly meant to be sweet and all, but I just can't link her explanation to her slap, I can only make sense of it by concluding that it's a rationalisation

The slap was a panicked reaction to having a drunk person violate her personal intimate space. The discussion here is more about why she's been weird about the whole situation after the fact.

joined Mar 18, 2023

"I'm afraid that if I ask for more from our relationship you'll end up unhappy or resentful of me."

"But I'm sure I can slap the shit out of you and that won't make you in the least unhappy or resentful of me."

As I already pointed out, they were both wrong in that situation, and they've both apologized for it.

yet i still wonder, what good is an empty apology?

Img_0215
joined Jul 29, 2017

"I'm afraid that if I ask for more from our relationship you'll end up unhappy or resentful of me."

"But I'm sure I can slap the shit out of you and that won't make you in the least unhappy or resentful of me."

As I already pointed out, they were both wrong in that situation, and they've both apologized for it.

yet i still wonder, what good is an empty apology?

OK, I guess I’ll bite:

What is “empty” about her apology?

What would constitute an apology that was not “empty”?

(y)
joined Jan 9, 2017

This chapter is clearly meant to be sweet and all, but I just can't link her explanation to her slap, I can only make sense of it by concluding that it's a rationalisation

The slap was a panicked reaction to having a drunk person violate her personal intimate space. The discussion here is more about why she's been weird about the whole situation after the fact.

It's not just some drunk violating your personal space, it's your crush kissing you while an intimate mood has been built up

543633_50
joined Sep 10, 2022

This chapter is clearly meant to be sweet and all, but I just can't link her explanation to her slap, I can only make sense of it by concluding that it's a rationalisation

The slap was a panicked reaction to having a drunk person violate her personal intimate space. The discussion here is more about why she's been weird about the whole situation after the fact.

It's not just some drunk violating your personal space, it's your crush kissing you while an intimate mood has been built up

Doesn't matter. It was unexpected, shocked her, she got scared in that split second, and she responded reflexively. She actually liked the kiss but had a flurry of complicated emotions. It was an uncharacteristic and confusing moment for both of them. Then they felt bad, they talked, quickly apologized and communicated. What else should they do, exactly? Being a crush doesn't mean that a sudden kiss can't be surprising or create anxiety from an already established to be anxious person.

They had a miscommunication. In this case it was a light incident between them and they both quickly met the problem head on by talking it through. It's not like either of them have shown any indication of this being normal behavior, either. I feel like the story did well to address what was a small correctable moment. Their second kiss was better for both of them. Now it's fine to move on. I'm genuinely surprised by a few of the reactions here but I guess we have one or two different opinions.

last edited at Aug 27, 2023 6:23PM

joined Mar 18, 2023

yet i still wonder, what good is an empty apology?

OK, I guess I’ll bite:

What is “empty” about her apology?

What would constitute an apology that was not “empty”?

i wonder why it is, that you always seem to need a clarification on some of the most basic concepts?

anyway, an empty apology is a meaningless expression of regret for wrongdoing, and in regards to chapter 30, its displayed in how the author has minimized the ill will of the victim of the wrongdoing, to the extent that the apology given rings hallow, instead it ends up feeling like some kind of a bad joke.

after all, the author set up this sham of a dramatic plot line by having a non-consensual kiss lead into surprise domestic violence, then payed said drama off by having the victim of domestic violence blackmail the victim of the non-consensual kiss into giving her a kiss on the cheek she slapped, in the name of calling things even.

and, i would love to say that this is the end since this is already bad enough, but for some reason the author is hell bent on making this manga the best comedy possible, as kurumi proceeds to once again steal a kiss from ruriko repeating the mistake that started the drama, and yet this time its seen as an acceptable act somehow?

tldr.

What is “empty” about her apology?

her apology feels “empty” as a result of the author making light of her wrongdoing.

What would constitute an apology that was not “empty”?

serious reflection and genuine introspection.

Tron-legacy
joined Dec 11, 2017

This chapter is clearly meant to be sweet and all, but I just can't link her explanation to her slap, I can only make sense of it by concluding that it's a rationalisation

The slap was a panicked reaction to having a drunk person violate her personal intimate space. The discussion here is more about why she's been weird about the whole situation after the fact.

It's not just some drunk violating your personal space, it's your crush kissing you while an intimate mood has been built up

It is both of those things. Which is why it is both wrong and not that big a deal. Life has nuance.

Img_0215
joined Jul 29, 2017

yet i still wonder, what good is an empty apology?

OK, I guess I’ll bite:

What is “empty” about her apology?

What would constitute an apology that was not “empty”?

i wonder why it is, that you always seem to need a clarification on some of the most basic concepts?

anyway, an empty apology is a meaningless expression of regret for wrongdoing, and in regards to chapter 30, its displayed in how the author has minimized the ill will of the victim of the wrongdoing, to the extent that the apology given rings hallow, instead it ends up feeling like some kind of a bad joke.

Thanks, now I get it—the apology “feels” that way to you. Like everyone, you certainly are welcome to your personal “feelings.”

joined Mar 18, 2023

yet i still wonder, what good is an empty apology?

OK, I guess I’ll bite:

What is “empty” about her apology?

What would constitute an apology that was not “empty”?

i wonder why it is, that you always seem to need a clarification on some of the most basic concepts?

anyway, an empty apology is a meaningless expression of regret for wrongdoing, and in regards to chapter 30, its displayed in how the author has minimized the ill will of the victim of the wrongdoing, to the extent that the apology given rings hallow, instead it ends up feeling like some kind of a bad joke.

Thanks, now I get it—the apology “feels” that way to you. Like everyone, you certainly are welcome to your personal “feelings.”

sigh.... first the stupid question, now the snarky attitude, huh? you never change, do you?

Img_0215
joined Jul 29, 2017

yet i still wonder, what good is an empty apology?

OK, I guess I’ll bite:

What is “empty” about her apology?

What would constitute an apology that was not “empty”?

i wonder why it is, that you always seem to need a clarification on some of the most basic concepts?

anyway, an empty apology is a meaningless expression of regret for wrongdoing, and in regards to chapter 30, its displayed in how the author has minimized the ill will of the victim of the wrongdoing, to the extent that the apology given rings hallow, instead it ends up feeling like some kind of a bad joke.

Thanks, now I get it—the apology “feels” that way to you. Like everyone, you certainly are welcome to your personal “feelings.”

sigh.... first the stupid question, now the snarky attitude, huh? you never change, do you?

I didn’t ask you what an empty apology is—I already know that. I asked you why you thought this one was empty. I thought you might conceivably have some support for your argument besides that it subjectively “rings hollow” and “feels like a bad joke.” You have clarified that you do not.

%e5%be%ae%e4%bf%a1%e5%9b%be%e7%89%87_20230926175400
joined Feb 13, 2023

F.I.N.A.L.L.Y!!!

joined Mar 18, 2023

I didn’t ask you what an empty apology is—I already know that. I asked you why you thought this one was empty. I thought you might conceivably have some support for your argument besides that it subjectively “rings hollow” and “feels like a bad joke.” You have clarified that you do not.

okay. lets end this here.

the apology is all good, nothing is wrong with it.

Moddedpolka2
joined Oct 9, 2016

Not bad. But I also think that the reasoning for The Slap was a bit weak? But not complaining, was still cute.

joined Jun 19, 2023

How come this has a kissing scene while Crescent Moon and Doughnuts doesn't? Lol

Screenshot%202024-08-04%20044759
joined Jun 21, 2021

How come this has a kissing scene while Crescent Moon and Doughnuts doesn't? Lol

Bc the characters in Crescent Moon and Doughnuts don't want to engage in physical closeness like that, is a p simple concept

Runrin-icon-wrd-2
joined Feb 9, 2019

How come this has a kissing scene while Crescent Moon and Doughnuts doesn't? Lol

pretty sure the characters in crescent moon are ace. i have actually been wondering if the endgame for these two would be a non-sexual relationship too.

it's possible to be extremely intimate without kissing and sex. that's how cm&d ended. their relationship is just as real as any other, it's just not sexual.

Yaa%20898
joined Apr 24, 2022

legendary i love it i hope they kiss more into the future

Pfp2
joined Jan 11, 2022

How can she slap?!

Dog%20me
joined Oct 3, 2018

How come this has a kissing scene while Crescent Moon and Doughnuts doesn't? Lol

Ikr! Bored me silly

Dog%20me
joined Oct 3, 2018

yet i still wonder, what good is an empty apology?

OK, I guess I’ll bite:

What is “empty” about her apology?

What would constitute an apology that was not “empty”?

i wonder why it is, that you always seem to need a clarification on some of the most basic concepts?

anyway, an empty apology is a meaningless expression of regret for wrongdoing, and in regards to chapter 30, its displayed in how the author has minimized the ill will of the victim of the wrongdoing, to the extent that the apology given rings hallow, instead it ends up feeling like some kind of a bad joke.

after all, the author set up this sham of a dramatic plot line by having a non-consensual kiss lead into surprise domestic violence, then payed said drama off by having the victim of domestic violence blackmail the victim of the non-consensual kiss into giving her a kiss on the cheek she slapped, in the name of calling things even.

and, i would love to say that this is the end since this is already bad enough, but for some reason the author is hell bent on making this manga the best comedy possible, as kurumi proceeds to once again steal a kiss from ruriko repeating the mistake that started the drama, and yet this time its seen as an acceptable act somehow?

tldr.

What is “empty” about her apology?

her apology feels “empty” as a result of the author making light of her wrongdoing.

What would constitute an apology that was not “empty”?

serious reflection and genuine introspection.

The “kiss steal” is to show that this time there is no boundary being crossed, she is not violating the boundary again lol. Felt like a very genuine apology, tied up with some sugary sweetness, but writing is one of those wondrous things where it hits everyone involved differently.

I for one hope this series gets at least two more volumes

Dog%20me
joined Oct 3, 2018

"I'm afraid that if I ask for more from our relationship you'll end up unhappy or resentful of me."

"But I'm sure I can slap the shit out of you and that won't make you in the least unhappy or resentful of me."

As I already pointed out, they were both wrong in that situation, and they've both apologized for it.

I don’t understand how people can think kissing isn’t a violation but slapping from being scared of a kiss is suddenly damnation for the person who had the emotional reaction. It genuinely makes me sick , the lack of empathy on dynasty scans

Dog%20me
joined Oct 3, 2018

This chapter is clearly meant to be sweet and all, but I just can't link her explanation to her slap, I can only make sense of it by concluding that it's a rationalisation

The slap was a panicked reaction to having a drunk person violate her personal intimate space. The discussion here is more about why she's been weird about the whole situation after the fact.

It's not just some drunk violating your personal space, it's your crush kissing you while an intimate mood has been built up

Do you tell that to people who have others force kisses on them during dates? Sexual boundaries are just as important as physical ones.

Dog%20me
joined Oct 3, 2018

It’s as easy as asking “can I kiss you” . I’ve never had a girl I’m on a date with say “Omg how could you ask” but I sure as hell would slap ANY person who forced their lips on mine without permission

Img_0215
joined Jul 29, 2017

Not bad. But I also think that the reasoning for The Slap was a bit weak? But not complaining, was still cute.

Like many people, I too was surprised by that slap, simply because otherwise this has been a pretty fluffy series overall, and it just seemed out of line with the previous development of the character and the tone of the series.

That said, I’m old enough to remember when in the US drunk jokes and cartoons (“Tee many martoonies!”) and comedy narrative tropes about blackout drinking (“Did we . . do anything last night?”) were incredibly common, and they just aren’t anymore. (They do still exist, but not nearly as much as in the past.)

That’s in contrast to current Asian popular culture (manga, manhua, anime, Kdramas) that I’ve seen, which have a whole culture and set of rituals built around excessive drinking, after-work events, mixers, etc. That means that not only are “normal” (i.e., not identified as a problem drinker) characters often shown as drinking too much, other characters are shown as reacting to drunk characters in a wide variety of ways.

IOW, the “longed-for romantic advance, only the person is drunk” trope can be a much more common, and more emotionally fraught situation than it might appear to an outside reader.

Dog%20me
joined Oct 3, 2018

According to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, domestic violence is defined as follows:

Domestic violence is the willful intimidation, physical assault, battery, sexual assault, and/or other abusive behavior as part of a systematic pattern of power and control perpetrated by one intimate partner against another. It includes physical violence, sexual violence, psychological violence, and emotional abuse. The frequency and severity of domestic violence can vary dramatically; however, the one constant component of domestic violence is one partner’s consistent efforts to maintain power and control over the other.

Domestic violence is an epidemic affecting individuals in every community regardless of age, economic status, sexual orientation, gender, race, religion, or nationality. It is often accompanied by emotionally abusive and controlling behavior that is only a fraction of a systematic pattern of dominance and control. Domestic violence can result in physical injury, psychological trauma, and in severe cases, even death. The devastating physical, emotional, and psychological consequences of domestic violence can cross generations and last a lifetime.

There are 5 forms of domestic violence

  1. Physical Inflicting or attempting to inflict physical injury

example: grabbing, pinching, shoving, slapping, hitting, biting, arm-twisting, kicking, punching, hitting with blunt objects, stabbing, shooting

Withholding access to resources necessary to maintain health example: medication, medical care, wheelchair, food or fluids, sleep, hygienic assistance Forcing alcohol or other drug use

  1. Sexual Coercing or attempting to coerce any sexual contact without consent

example: marital rape, acquaintance rape, forced sex after physical beating, attacks on the sexual parts of the body, forced prostitution, fondling, sodomy, sex with others

Attempting to undermine the victim’ sexuality

example: treating him/her in a sexually derogatory manner, criticizing sexual performance and desirability, accusations of infidelity, withholding sex

  1. Psychological Instilling or attempting to instill fear

example: intimidation, threatening physical harm to self, victim, and/or others, threatening to harm and/or kidnap children, menacing, blackmail, harassment, destruction of pets and property, mind games, stalking

Isolating or attempting to isolate victim from friends, family, school, and/or work example: withholding access to phone and/or transportation, undermining victim’s personal relationships, harassing others, constant “checking up,” constant accompaniment, use of unfounded accusations, forced imprisonment

  1. Emotional Undermining or attempting to undermine victim sense of worth

example: constant criticism, belittling victim’s abilities and competency, name-calling, insults, put-downs, silent treatment, manipulating victim’s feelings and emotions to induce guilt, subverting a partner’s relationship with the children, repeatedly making and breaking promises

  1. Economic Making or attempting to make the victim financially dependent

example: maintaining total control over financial resources including victim’s earned income or resources received through public assistance or social security, withholding money and/or access to money, forbidding attendance at school, forbidding employment, on-the-job harassment, requiring accountability and justification for all money spent, forced welfare fraud, withholding information about family running up bills for which the victim is responsible for payment.


do we think that the nonconsent path (rape kiss, slap) of this relationship is going to continue?
i pray not. in any case, there are lots of resources for domestic violence, dont ever feel alone. i hope that some of this has been helpful to people who feel ill at ease with some of the violence in manga.

last edited at Aug 29, 2023 11:23AM

To reply you must either login or sign up.