Forum › Between Philia and Eros discussion

Capture
joined Dec 12, 2016

Because it makes you look like an asshole. You are literally judging someone the first chance you get based off of unfounded rumors. If look at other stories you'll even find that stories that start off like this are more likely to turn out that the rumors were just that, rumors. It's more likely she hasn't actually done anything with any of them. So no matter how you look at this your assumptions are idiotic.

It's not a rumor that she dates lots of guys, it's not a rumor that she kisses at the first sign of affection. I'm tired with having to repeat myself. This someone is a fictional character, we will never know them beyond what we are told or shown. We are told she dates lots of guys, we are shown that she is quick to kiss when someone says they like her, and we are told that she sleeps around. Until we are told more I have no reason to withhold my judgement. It's an ongoing series where the characters will be revealed and fleshed out as we go, but that doesn't mean that we are not allowed to judge them based on what we have been shown so far. It's not like you watch a show and withhold your judgement of any of the characters until the very end because you don't know that they might not be as good/bad as you think. In a way you are also judging this alleged slut yourself by trying to push this idea that she might not be an promiscuous as we are told, if instead I was saying that she was most likely a good wholesome girl who is getting dumped because she refuses to put out I doubt you would be calling me an asshole or an idiot.

Nezchan Moderator
Meiling%20bun%20150px
joined Jun 28, 2012

There are LOTS of characters in yuri who date a lot of guys, even kissing them, before awakening to the fact that lesbians exist. I'm not sure why this one in particular gets the "slut" treatment when this one or this one or even this one even though the last one actually does sleep around before she commits to one woman, really don't.

last edited at Jun 5, 2017 9:30AM

UranusAndNeptuneAreJustCousins
joined Sep 6, 2015

I like this one, Nika's character intrigues me. Why was she miserable in the cafe that day, why does she jump so fast at the chance someone (and a girl this time) likes her, is she simply promiscuous, and takes everything on the fly, or is she searching for something more in the people she dates? Will keep an eye on this one, looks promising.

As for the whole 'slut' discussion... really? Some people are just prudes, simple as that, why do we need two pages of discussing it?

Capture
joined Dec 12, 2016

There are LOTS of characters in yuri who date a lot of guys, even kissing them, before awakening to the fact that lesbians exist. I'm not sure why this one in particular gets the "slut" treatment when this one or this one or even this one even though the last one actually does sleep around before she commits to one woman, really don't.

Well to be fair I wasn't the original person who called her a slut, I'm mostly just replying to the vitriol Falleax got for their comment. If I were the type of person to call out every slutty character I see then I would have probably called out the sluts in those mangas too. I just think that people should be able to call out a character for being a slut without people needing to get overly offended over it. I mean, you see people call characters stupid, crazy, or pedophile and no one bats an eye, but call someone a slut and people start calling you an asshole for "assuming".

Once again, being a slut doesn't make them a bad person/character and it doesn't mean that they will always be a slut, sluts can find true love too. I just think we should be able to point out when a character is sexually promiscuous.

Oh well, I'm just repeating myself again and this is going nowhere. I'll wait for the next chapter to see if she is actually slut before commenting further.

Alice Cheshire Moderator
Dynasty_misc015
joined Nov 7, 2014

Cannibal posted:

In a way you are also judging this alleged slut yourself by trying to push this idea that she might not be an promiscuous as we are told, if instead I was saying that she was most likely a good wholesome girl who is getting dumped because she refuses to put out I doubt you would be calling me an asshole or an idiot.

I'd conclude that you're still jumping to conclusions? I dunno why this is difficult, I haven't actually been particularly unclear on this. My issue is that people are judging her immediately based mostly upon hearsay.

The only real difference between your example and her being a slut or not is simply a matter of your example being incredibly unlikely to become an issue in the first place.

Jeezzz%202
joined Jan 11, 2017

when you're here to discuss how good the chapter is and then you saw arguments everywhere and a bunch of keyboard warriors...c'mon guys just enjoy the chapter and let's see if she's really a slut or 'actually' have a feeling for that shy girl in the first place(which is my guess lol).

Cool%20shit
joined May 7, 2017

Here it comes..
The heartbreak.

Aikatsu%2050%20aoi%20ichigo%20hug%20test
joined Apr 18, 2013

What do you interpret of the end of chapter 2, and the bow removal? What do you think it signifies?

last edited at Jun 6, 2017 11:19AM

1461894977557
joined Jun 12, 2015

^Two timing?

Eh, I'm scared. What if she is dating her out of pity. Because she experienced that "impossible love?" I don't know. I'm intrigued.

last edited at Jun 6, 2017 11:48AM

OompaLoompa666
223d7d32db22f4c0142d0b37b36a999498b7037d_hq
joined Jun 6, 2017

Hum, I guess Nikaido´s probably keeping a facade on her entire social life, including boyfriends, playing the cute peppy girl while feeling like no one really sees her and cares for her, basically? She probably decided to give Kurumi a chance cuz Kurumi could see through parts of the fakeness and cared when Nikaido wasn´t happy and faked it.

last edited at Jun 6, 2017 12:11PM

joined Mar 25, 2013

Looks like she has someone she loves but has been rejected or something.

Marion Diabolito
Dynsaty%20scans%20avatar%20from%20twgokhs
joined Jan 5, 2015

When people are this abuzz in speculation, the mangaka has done their job, IMO. Also, I think this is how the viewpoint character also sees everything, so that has been faithfully translated to the reader.

Johanliebert
joined Dec 15, 2015

Hm i wonder
Is it really such a bad thing as people claim?
Why is it that I really don't hear men get told the same thing? I don't hear promiscuous men being called sluts, being told that their lifestyle isn't healthy, that they should respect themselves more, that they're easy, that they're throwing themselves to just anyone, that they sleep around. I don't hear them get mocked and degraded but rather glorified? Praised? They hold pride in it and feel desirable, it's something to brag about.
But women, women no. Promiscuity is shameful and repressed. Don't do it. If you did, don't talk about it, don't let it get around, don't let others know, keep it to yourself or others will look down on you.
If it's a behaviour people really find deplorable, shouldn't men be told the same thing, shamed the same way? If it's found acceptable for men, perhaps it's not about the behaviour itself in the first place, but the mentality and expectations ppl have for women.
("players" don't get frowned on for sleeping around either, they get judged for "breaking hearts", and leading ppl on, not the same kind of "judgement".)

Can we please avoid this; having a [sterile] debate, or rather a complaint about women not being viewed the same way as men when sleeping with numerous people is probably the last thing I want to see here, especially after these two pointless pages of drama around the word slut.

last edited at Jun 6, 2017 12:53PM

Ran-lossy
joined Mar 22, 2015

Oh come on, if someone is sleeping with someone new every single night then that's just not healthy, mentally or physically and doesn't bode well for future relationships. I mean it's one thing to tell someone not to date around or have sex before marriage but going to the other extreme and saying that going orgy crazy every day is is perfectly healthy is not any better. Live your life the way you want to live it, no one should have the ability to force you to do otherwise, but don't act like it should be perfectly acceptable and free of judgement. A lot of people live unhealthy life styles and they are happy about it, doesn't mean that they can't be judged or told that their life style is unhealthy as long as it is done in a reasonable fashion. People can be slutty, fat, unhygienic, arrogant, ignorant, drug addicted, or just a slob in general if they want to but it's also fine for others to point that out.

In regards to this manga, if this girl is sleeping around it most likely means that there is something wrong with her or her home environment. She probably has some kind of trouble in her life that made her think that sex is all that is needed for love and doesn't understand why she keeps getting dumped. The guys are probably just dating her because she just gives it away and dumps her because they see no more use for her. If she stopped sleeping around and maybe stayed single for a while then she might be able to figure out what she is doing wrong.

Hm i wonder
Is it really such a bad thing as people claim?
Why is it that I really don't hear men get told the same thing? I don't hear promiscuous men being called sluts, being told that their lifestyle isn't healthy, that they should respect themselves more, that they're easy, that they're throwing themselves to just anyone, that they sleep around. I don't hear them get mocked and degraded but rather glorified? Praised? They hold pride in it and feel desirable, it's something to brag about.
But women, women no. Promiscuity is shameful and repressed. Don't do it. If you did, don't talk about it, don't let it get around, don't let others know, keep it to yourself or others will look down on you.
If it's a behaviour people really find deplorable, shouldn't men be told the same thing, shamed the same way? If it's found acceptable for men, perhaps it's not about the behaviour itself in the first place, but the mentality and expectations ppl have for women.
("players" don't get frowned on for sleeping around either, they get judged for "breaking hearts", and leading ppl on, not the same kind of "judgement".)

Correct me if I'm wrong, but I recall reading studies that women develop emotional attachment after orgasm due to a massive release of chemicals to their brains. Men do not get nearly so much of this particular chemical so having sex with whomever whenever does not mess them up as much, because they do not feel attached to their partners purely on the basis of sex (so if they didn't know the girl that well, if at all, they will not suddenly feel attached to her, but a woman probably will).

I doubt that the behavior you're referring to is taking this into account, but I DO believe the person you're replying to and trying to refute is taking this effect into account and your reply does not make sense in this context. You're changing the subject, probably unintentionally. Some women do seem to sleep around with minimal repercussions, but in general most women's biology will make this practice unhealthy and there seemingly being exceptions won't make it healthy for everyone.

TLDR: That particular post appears to be referring to Biology, not Social Norms.

last edited at Jun 6, 2017 12:57PM

Screenshot_2016-12-27-13-58-01-1
joined Mar 23, 2014

Out of topic but she looked hot letting her hair down

Hinataskype
joined May 26, 2011

Out of topic but she looked hot letting her hair down

you're the most on topic in this thread right now. And I agree

joined Feb 7, 2016

Geez, these stories always hurt my heart , cause I just people to be happyy
I hope they just discover something about themselves! To be very honest I don't like the main couple so far (we dunno much but still) if later later on short hair gets with her black hair friend and Nika is finally true to herself to whatever she's hiding I feel like that'd be pretty chill

joined Feb 7, 2016

Out of topic but she looked hot letting her hair down

YES !!

Ran-lossy
joined Mar 22, 2015

Out of topic but she looked hot letting her hair down

It was the effect of not having a cute-girl hairstyle and stopping smiling so she looked older/more hot/less cute/more depressing.

last edited at Jun 6, 2017 1:16PM

Capture
joined Dec 12, 2016

Hm i wonder
Is it really such a bad thing as people claim?
Why is it that I really don't hear men get told the same thing? I don't hear promiscuous men being called sluts, being told that their lifestyle isn't healthy, that they should respect themselves more, that they're easy, that they're throwing themselves to just anyone, that they sleep around. I don't hear them get mocked and degraded but rather glorified? Praised? They hold pride in it and feel desirable, it's something to brag about.
But women, women no. Promiscuity is shameful and repressed. Don't do it. If you did, don't talk about it, don't let it get around, don't let others know, keep it to yourself or others will look down on you.
If it's a behaviour people really find deplorable, shouldn't men be told the same thing, shamed the same way? If it's found acceptable for men, perhaps it's not about the behaviour itself in the first place, but the mentality and expectations ppl have for women.
("players" don't get frowned on for sleeping around either, they get judged for "breaking hearts", and leading ppl on, not the same kind of "judgement".)

Personal question, are you a guy? I am, and let me tell you, we don't praise our slutty male friends. I have had slutty male friends and, yes, we did call them sluts. We may appreciate that they know how to get girls easily but we would never allow a female friend near them without warning them first. And absolutely no way would have him date our family. And no, being a slut, male or female, is not healthy. Even with proper protection your risk of STDs skyrockets. It's also not mentally healthy if you are aiming to one day settle down, habits are hard to break. Out of all the sluts I know who have settled down none do it by choice, at least not their own. Then there is the problem of one of the slut's partners becoming too attached and causing problems. The more people you sleep with the higher chance you end up sticking it in crazy.

And besides, there is a stand up routine that remains true to this day. There is such a thing as fat ugly sluts, there is no such thing as a fat ugly stud. Being a slut is easy, being a stud is hard. A girl at a bar can easily find a guy to go home with, she doesn't even have to try. As long as her standards are low enough she is guaranteed to find a guy willing to sleep with her right there and then, the same can't be said for guys trying to be a stud.

On topic for the next chapter, still no solid evidence that she is 100% a slut but she is hiding something sinister from her new girlfriend.

last edited at Jun 6, 2017 1:27PM

Images
joined Feb 8, 2013

Out of topic but she looked hot letting her hair down

I went through 2 pages of drama to see if anyone else agreed ^-^

Nezchan Moderator
Meiling%20bun%20150px
joined Jun 28, 2012

there is no such thing as a fat ugly stud.

Ron Jeremy would like a word.

Vegitab%20profile%20pic%20smoll%20tumblr
joined Sep 21, 2014

Out of topic but she looked hot letting her hair down

10/10
Her hair looked great tbh

Ran-lossy
joined Mar 22, 2015

there is no such thing as a fat ugly stud.

Ron Jeremy would like a word.

I have heard that they choose ugly porn actors to have the male viewers feel like they could get those girls too. Then again, aren't all those girls paid? That's not a stud that's a homely dude getting his sex subsidized.

Nevri Uploader
Rosmontis
Nevrilicious Scans
joined Jun 5, 2015

We really still don't know anything, but I feel like somehow Nikaidou is broken. She was with so many people and everyone dumped her, she is scarred. I feel like she jumped on Kurumi, because she hoped her feelings for her are genuine and will last. She is willing to devote 100% to Kurumi as long as she will truly love her, but she herself don't believe in love anymore. The last scene shows she is not ok after this or all break ups and she is holding all those dark feelings inside her. I believe the story stopped with Kurumi angst and instead will focus on how Nikaidou is pushing herself and Kurumi is the one that needs to reach to her and heal her wounds. At least that is the kind of feeling this chapter gave me.

EDIT/ It gives me very similar vibe to Fragtime with Nikaidou being similar to Murakami.

last edited at Jun 6, 2017 2:09PM

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