Forum › Brides of Iberis discussion

Soralaylaff
joined Oct 16, 2013

It's a refreshing portrayal of polyamory.

What's the line between polyamory and someone just making a harem for themselves? I get that not every instance of polyamory has every participant in love with every other participant, but the name by definition implies a lot of LOVE. Here I'm just seeing a bunch of people in love with one woman and they kind of barely tolerate each other, mostly to sate that ONE woman.

To me I think harem is more of a fetishization of polyamory and it's more focused on the sexual aspect of it. Like where the focus of the plot is about everyone trying to get with the MC of the harem and the narrative kinda disregards everyone else's character aside from their feelings for MC. I think the harem genre also has this vibe of a power imbalance.

This doesn't read as harem to me because everyone involved (besides Kashiwai since she's new and still figuring her feelings out) is fully communicative and transparent with each other. They have clear rules and boundaries. Tsuzuki's partners aren't the only ones doing things to "sate" her, she is also doing things for her partners' happiness. The wedding isn't something she really wanted to do, but she did it because her fiancé wanted to and it also benefitted Fukunaga who thrives off getting cucked.

Their relationship operates just like a monogamous relationship, just with more people.

joined Mar 19, 2020

I trust Awa-kun. I mean to him Kahiwai is in love with a woman who’s getting married. And is planning her wedding. Assumedly he doesn’t know about the polyamory or that the feelings are returned so he just sees his coworker in a difficult and probably heartbreaking position. I mean it’s none of his business but still, I can see that there’s (probably) care there.

Also sheesh I know Kashiwai is new to this but I hope she’s not gonna get mad that she’s not suddenly Tsuzukis no.1 priority

joined May 29, 2021

Like where the focus of the plot is about everyone trying to get with the MC of the harem and the narrative kinda disregards everyone else's character aside from their feelings for MC. I think the harem genre also has this vibe of a power imbalance.

That's exactly the vibe I'm getting here, though. Everyone is obsessed with this one woman. They don't care about the others at all, it's all about what Tsuzuki wants. The entire focus is on everyone's feelings for Tsuzuki. The only difference here is our MC is one of the harem members rather than the center, so we have a different perspective on it. Franky, I think if everyone in this story were gender swapped, or even worse if everyone but the MC were gender swapped thus removing any queer relationships at all, everyone would be calling Tsuzuki the scum of the earth, even if the dialogue was all basically the same.

joined Jan 3, 2020

I trust Awa-kun. I mean to him Kahiwai is in love with a woman who’s getting married. And is planning her wedding. Assumedly he doesn’t know about the polyamory or that the feelings are returned so he just sees his coworker in a difficult and probably heartbreaking position. I mean it’s none of his business but still, I can see that there’s (probably) care there.

Also sheesh I know Kashiwai is new to this but I hope she’s not gonna get mad that she’s not suddenly Tsuzukis no.1 priority

I think this chapter made it pretty obvious (at least to me) that Kashiwai wants monogamy (upset over ring, unwillingness to work around Tsuzuki's existing partners, etc). She's just a monogamous person who was in a "this is the best thing I've got" relationship, and Tsuzuki entering the picture was a shocking lesbian/bisexual revelation that she wants all to herself. Kashiwai calling off her own wedding was a result of her interest in monogamy.

last edited at Sep 3, 2022 8:50AM

Soralaylaff
joined Oct 16, 2013

Like where the focus of the plot is about everyone trying to get with the MC of the harem and the narrative kinda disregards everyone else's character aside from their feelings for MC. I think the harem genre also has this vibe of a power imbalance.

That's exactly the vibe I'm getting here, though. Everyone is obsessed with this one woman. They don't care about the others at all, it's all about what Tsuzuki wants. The entire focus is on everyone's feelings for Tsuzuki. The only difference here is our MC is one of the harem members rather than the center, so we have a different perspective on it. Franky, I think if everyone in this story were gender swapped, or even worse if everyone but the MC were gender swapped thus removing any queer relationships at all, everyone would be calling Tsuzuki the scum of the earth, even if the dialogue was all basically the same.

Just because they're "obsessed" with this one woman, (which I disagree and think Kashiwai is the only one who is actually obsessed right now and she's not officially part of the polycule yet) doesn't mean that there is a power imbalance, which I think is the main factor for polycule vs harem. Of course they don't care about the others at all because they aren't dating each other, but that doesn't mean they hate each other. Hiroki even tells Tsuzuki to say "thanks" to Fukunaga.

To me it's not a harem since everyone is being transparent, communicative and respectful of each others' boundaries. All parties involved are in a consensual relationship and know exactly what they are getting into. Like I said before in the part that you did not include in the quote, Tsuzuki also does things for the benefit of her partners like agreeing to the marriage ceremony. Even if Tsuzuki were a man and all the love interest were women, I still wouldn't think he were the scum of the earth because what they have is a healthy relationship so what is there to judge? Tsuzuki is very clear about the rules and does not push or manipulate the others into a relationship with her. She even gives Kashiwai time to mull over her feelings and it's always Kashiwai who oversteps the business boundary.

In a way maybe because the MC is one of the "harem" members is why you see Tsuzuki's relationships as a harem. Kashiwai herself does not understand polyamorous relationships yet and her thought process/feelings leaks into the narrative that we see. Because most of the story so far is about Kashiwai's obsessive and overwhelming feelings for Tsuzuki, I guess I can see why it can be interpreted that way. But if you look at what we've been shown disregarding Kashiwai's feelings, it's a balanced relationship on Tsuzuki's end with her male partners so far. There isn't a sense of power fantasy that you'd normally get from typical harem series. I don't get the feeling that Tsuzuki revels in the fact that all these hot guys and gals are throwing themselves at her.

joined Apr 16, 2022

Tsuzuki is not a harem protagonist because no harem protagonist would be fine with their harem members dating both them and another person. By contrast, it's established that Tsuzuki does not feel jealousy and would be a-ok with anyone in her polycule becoming romantically involved with others.

joined Jan 13, 2021

Through the Hooking-Up Glass and What Kashiwai Found There is a sequel to the acclaimed definitely-not-for-children's book Kashiwai's Adventures In Want-Her-Land, in which a little Victorian-minded lady once again enters a fantastical world, only to find that all the logic from hers is reversed like in a mirror there. Polyamory in this world is as common as it is successful, and indeed follows more rules than the bewilderingly vague proscriptions of monogamy Kashiwai continues to be disillusioned by. Wedding planners in this world are meant to have their notions and plans for marriage dissolved by their clients, and are beholden to them for appointments arrangeable by clandestine text or bathroom break. Engagement rings are mystic devices that manifest prior to the breaking of engagements in some way, and passengers of the train system frequently find their lives going off the rails. Kashiwai is both unnerved and intrigued by this world of illusions, but soon realizes that she cannot classify it as entirely utopic or dystopian any more than she could her own, because every part of the onlooker exists in the mirror, and the closer one peers for comprehension, the closer the spheres come to meeting. Rife with such humorous incidents as the Unwedding of Humpty Jun before his inevitable breakage, charmingly quaint characters such as the White Knight Awa, playful interspersed poems such as 'Jabberbussy' and 'The Bingus and the Heartbreaker', and many more pleasant diversions, this delightful book is guaranteed to grant you many a pleasant afternoon (in case of such side effects as sobbing, disillusionment or dread, please consult your local polyamitrician).

last edited at Sep 2, 2022 12:56AM

Yuu
joined Mar 28, 2015

I agree with Chikaon on most points. Tsuzuki is the most level headed character. It makes her come across as cold/reserved, when Kashiwai is in the throes of passion, but I take it as Tsuzuki being more experienced when in comes to managing her relationships. While she's indeed attracted to Kashiway too, she sets clear lines and rules. Which is logical, since she's been managing an open relationship, with her at the center, for some time, while Kashiwai has only known standard monogamous relationships.

The fact that Tsuzuki mentions "the rules" shows that the author did her homework on real life polyamorous/open relationships and that she doesn't try to cast Tsuzuki in a bad light, but as someone operating on a different set of values. That people project aggression toward her is indicative of their own biases, like her highschool friend in the flashback.

I don't even know why we're talking harem here. While Tsuzuki seems to be the center in her relationship with Hiroki and Fukunaga, either of them could be in a relationship with other people and everyone is fine with that.

Tsuzuki is more in an "open relationship" than a polycule actually. And it's perfectly fine.

RadiosAreObsolete
Img_20210321_022239%20(2)
joined Mar 6, 2021

https://dynasty-scans.com/chapters/brides_of_iberis_ch08#11
Why does that dude on the bus with the backpack on the front look so sus?

joined Apr 16, 2022

I will say that this chapter doesn't unambiguously take Tsuzuki's side. Kashiwai is really going through it right now and needs support, but Tsuzuki's dedication to her rules prevents her from offering that support.

UranusAndNeptuneAreJustCousins
joined Sep 6, 2015

I will say that this chapter doesn't unambiguously take Tsuzuki's side. Kashiwai is really going through it right now and needs support, but Tsuzuki's dedication to her rules prevents her from offering that support.

Nah, I think it was a good call on Tsuzuki's side. As Simca summarised above:

I think this chapter made it pretty obvious (at least to me) that Kashiwai wants monogamy (upset over ring, unwillingness to work around Tsuzuki's existing partners, etc). She's just a monogamous person who was in a "this is the best thing I've got" relationship, and Kashiwai entering the picture was a shocking lesbian/bisexual revelation that she wants all to herself. Kashiwai calling off her own wedding was a result of her interest in monogamy.

Giving special attention to Kashiwai at the expense of her other partners would just further feed this problem. Her anguish comes from her inability to truly accept polyamory, be it for herself (since she broke up with Jun even though it obviously hurt her to do that) or for her partner (as she is clearly upset that there are other people involved with Tsuzuki).

I imagine bending the rules if a situation truly called for it would be something Tsuzuki would do, say, if one of her partners had a death in their family and needed support right now and so on. But because of what is causing Kashiwai's problems here, doing that would be the worst thing Tsuzuki could do and given her experience on the matter she probably understands this, hence why she insist on following the rules. The sooner Kashiwai comes to grips with the nature of this relationship, the better, for her just as much as for everyone else involved. Granted, all of this is something that she really should have thought about well in advance.

joined Apr 16, 2022

I'm not saying Tsuzuki was "wrong" per se, just that this situation shows one of the downsides of polyamory, especially when one of the people involved lacks an external support system.

Sachifaceagain%20(2)
joined Jun 29, 2020

I will say that this chapter doesn't unambiguously take Tsuzuki's side. Kashiwai is really going through it right now and needs support, but Tsuzuki's dedication to her rules prevents her from offering that support.

To be fair, Kashiwai hasn't told Tsuzuki about what just happened with Jun. Tsuzuki might not have expected her to tell Jun so soon, or she might have thought she'd attempt to make things work with both Tsuzuki and Jun.

joined Apr 6, 2019

Through the Hooking-Up Glass and What Kashiwai Found There is a sequel to the acclaimed definitely-not-for-children's book Kashiwai's Adventures In Want-Her-Land, in which a little Victorian-minded lady once again enters a fantastical world, only to find that all the logic from hers is reversed like in a mirror there. Polyamory in this world is as common as it is successful, and indeed follows more rules than the bewilderingly vague proscriptions of monogamy Kashiwai continues to be disillusioned by. Wedding planners in this world are meant to have their notions and plans for marriage dissolved by their clients, and are beholden to them for appointments arrangeable by clandestine text or bathroom break. Engagement rings are mystic devices that manifest prior to the breaking of engagements in some way, and passengers of the train system frequently find their lives going off the rails. Kashiwai is both unnerved and intrigued by this world of illusions, but soon realizes that she cannot classify it as entirely utopic or dystopian any more than she could her own, because every part of the onlooker exists in the mirror, and the closer one peers for comprehension, the closer the spheres come to meeting. Rife with such humorous incidents as the Unwedding of Humpty Jun before his inevitable breakage, charmingly quaint characters such as the White Knight Awa, playful interspersed poems such as 'Jabberbussy' and 'The Bingus and the Heartbreaker', and many more pleasant diversions, this delightful book is guaranteed to grant you many a pleasant afternoon (in case of such side effects as sobbing, disillusionment or dread, please consult your local polyamitrician).

If we could rate forum posts like a writing test, I'd give you a perfect score. d(^^*)

RadiosAreObsolete
Img_20210321_022239%20(2)
joined Mar 6, 2021

I feel like a main problem is that neither of them really understands the other. Kashiwai obviously hasn't really thought about what kind of relationship she's getting into and whether that is what she truly wants. Of course, I can't blame Tsuzuki for sticking to her rules, since it wouldn't be fair to her partners if she put Kashiwai above her already established relationships, but at the same time I feel like she's not really offering enough support, maybe? (I can't really express this exactly, but I feel like she's been acting kind of casual about it all—and for her perhaps it is—but I'm not sure if that kind of attitude is helpful to Kashiwai).

Even so, I have to admit that Tsuzuki has handled many things quite well, and most of the time she tried to give Kashiwai the time she needed to figure things out (even though the latter didn't really put much effort into that lol).

On an unrelated note, I kind of dislike Fukunaga, simply because of his face. I know it's silly, but he just looks like an old man (or an alcoholic?) and I can't help disliking him a little bit XD

I01_rx-0-unicorn-gundam-mobile-suit-gundam-sci-fi-anime-mecha-galaxy-anime
joined May 26, 2020

Such free yet constrained love

Jesus
joined Sep 3, 2022

I'm surprised by how I understand everyone's action, there isn't a single character that I'm "ohhh shut the fuck up". I feel so bad for the fiancé, but I'm glad that he had some closure in that. Short hair woman is obviously in love with long hair woman, but still manage to keep the rules of her relationship with the other three, kudos. Curious about which path will the autor take.

joined Nov 28, 2011

Man, I'm not looking forward to the seemingly inevitable conclusion of this where Kashiwagi eventually realizes that she won't be able to fit into this poly relationship and thus has ruined everything she had for ultimately nothing

joined Jan 3, 2020

Man, I'm not looking forward to the seemingly inevitable conclusion of this where Kashiwagi eventually realizes that she won't be able to fit into this poly relationship and thus has ruined everything she had for ultimately nothing

Well there's two potential paths:
1. Kashiwai lowers her expectations and accepts (at least for now) to be one of Tsuzuki's lovers.
2. Kashiwai realizes she can't be in a monogamous relationship with Tsuzuki and is heartbroken. However, she reset her way out of a marriage she seemingly wasn't very attached to and now knows she likes women, so she has a lot better options for future relationships.

Or I guess the third path: messily oscillating between those two options, causing unhappiness and hurt for all.

Yuu
joined Mar 28, 2015

Ninja13 posted:

Man, I'm not looking forward to the seemingly inevitable conclusion of this where Kashiwagi eventually realizes that she won't be able to fit into this poly relationship and thus has ruined everything she had for ultimately nothing

She wasn't really happy with Jun to being with. So I think she's not going to regret it much.

I rather see what comes next as an initiation for Kashiwai into the world of open relationships and learning to accept non exclusivity;

I don't know why people ignore it, but Kashiwai is really smitten with Tsuzuki. She fell really hard. Harder than Tsuzuki obviously, for now (but Tsuzuki may evolve too). It's not like she doesn't know Tsuzuki has two lovers. But she still read her texts like it's some precious treasure and only one thing seems to be on her mind: hoping into bed with Tsuzuki. Her hands are roaming all over her ass in Ch8 and she fantasizes about embracing her. She's down and horny real bad.

Meaning, she's ready to accept anything and what follows is probably Kashiwai's journey into finding her place in an open relationship. A rocky road, I'm sure.

last edited at Sep 3, 2022 12:26PM

joined Apr 16, 2022

Or I guess the third path: messily oscillating between those two options, causing unhappiness and hurt for all.

"Unhappiness and hurt for all" is a given, but the third path is Tsuzuki falling in love with Kashiwai enough that she becomes willing to accept monogamy for her partner's sake.

last edited at Sep 27, 2022 7:21PM

Soralaylaff
joined Oct 16, 2013

https://twitter.com/_akiyamaharu/status/1574969638495977472?t=G4j_UMXHLJwCq4eMGSnjMw&s=19

Ah damn, Akiyama Haru just tweeted that this is gonna end with 2 volumes total so probably only 3 chapters left. Hopefully she can wrap everything up for an okay ending, but I don't really see how she could write one I'd be satisfied with since there seemed to be so much more to explore. It's a shame because the main story literally just started. I'm so sad right now

Yuu
joined Mar 28, 2015

Axed.

If the Twitter of an author is any measure of the success of their manga, you can see that Akiyama Haru's twitter didn't get much attention. Looks like the sales weren't good enough.

joined Apr 16, 2022

Shit, that really really sucks.

Vivy-v-chan
joined Aug 14, 2020

Glad to see updates here anyway ^^;

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