Forum › The Feelings We All Must Endure discussion

Jackavi
joined Feb 23, 2014

You realize using faux psychology doesn't make your insults any better right?
Using complex words can make you sound intelligent but unless they actually have a point it just makes you look pretentious now please, actually think about what has been said in this conversation, i don't want it turned into an argument but you obviously do.

sigh and you wonder why i don't post much any-more, this forum has turned into tumblr.
i will respect others opinions unless its a really dumb opinion they try to pass off as a fact, like that there is no sexism towards men at all, that is so many levels of wrong especially when it has been recorded on several occasions.

last edited at Feb 23, 2015 11:02AM

Nezchan Moderator
Meiling%20bun%20150px
joined Jun 28, 2012

Sexism does only go one way

aaaaaaand like that you just lost all credibility, the conversation is over.

Some authors you should check out sooner rather than later, dude:

bell hooks
Audre Lorde
Gloria Anzaldua
Simon de Beauvoir
Naomi Wolf
Betty Friedan

time to fix some misconceptions you seem to have: i am not a guy, i am a lesbian, i have done research into sexism before and have been a victim of said sexism and believe me it is NOT one sided, men are victims of it just as much as women are, if men are not the picture perfect of masculinity they are insulted and belittled for it daily, men are not the enemy, assholes are.

and fuck off with those authors their bias knows no bounds and several of them have been proven to mislead readers for the sake of making their points more valid.

Case in point - instantly dimisses all viewpoints against their own.

Get help: http://www.mentalhealthamerica.net/conditions/personality-disorder

Nez Note

All right, this is going WAY over the line. Not only is it gratuitously insulting just because someone disagrees with you, but Diagnosis Via Internet is a way shitty thing to do.

So this is me stepping in as mod, and my message to you and anyone pulling the same stunt, cut it the fuck out.

Not that either of you are smelling like a rose here, and I'd ask that y'all get back to discussing the story rather than flinging mud at each other.

Jackavi
joined Feb 23, 2014

Sexism does only go one way

aaaaaaand like that you just lost all credibility, the conversation is over.

Some authors you should check out sooner rather than later, dude:

bell hooks
Audre Lorde
Gloria Anzaldua
Simon de Beauvoir
Naomi Wolf
Betty Friedan

time to fix some misconceptions you seem to have: i am not a guy, i am a lesbian, i have done research into sexism before and have been a victim of said sexism and believe me it is NOT one sided, men are victims of it just as much as women are, if men are not the picture perfect of masculinity they are insulted and belittled for it daily, men are not the enemy, assholes are.

and fuck off with those authors their bias knows no bounds and several of them have been proven to mislead readers for the sake of making their points more valid.

Case in point - instantly dimisses all viewpoints against their own.

Get help: http://www.mentalhealthamerica.net/conditions/personality-disorder

Nez Note

All right, this is going WAY over the line. Not only is it gratuitously insulting just because someone disagrees with you, but Diagnosis Via Internet is a way shitty thing to do.

So this is me stepping in as mod, and my message to you and anyone pulling the same stunt, cut it the fuck out.

Not that either of you are smelling like a rose here, and I'd ask that y'all get back to discussing the story rather than flinging mud at each other.

Don't know what you mean, i always smell like myself :P

MrEngenious Admin
Puff
Dynasty Scans
joined Oct 8, 2010

This is a topic about feelings we all must endure not /po/. Either make a new topic for this shit or exchange contact information to argue about it elsewhere. There's trying to argue about how the world of the manga functions and then how the real world functions. At this point a number of you stepped into the real one.
I actually don't mind people thinking about how the world works (minus the superiority complex shitflinging), but that shouldn't be in this topic necessarily.

last edited at Feb 23, 2015 11:09AM

Tohka%20not%20crying
joined Jun 6, 2014

sigh

I withdraw here. There's no point speaking to brick walls, especially when said brick walls like to throw their own bricks at you for having an opinion.

joined May 1, 2013

I dont mean to mix cheating with abuse. If that is what it sounds like to you, sorry for havent been clear enough.
Cheating, while very different from abuse in the physical sense, can deal as much just as much emotional damage to the person at the short end. Victim of abuse tends to think that they are unworthy, not good enough and they themselves are the reason the abusers lay their hand on them.

If you're not trying to mix together cheating and abuse, then it doesn't make sense to immediately go on to say they have the same effects. They clearly don't, and so it's.... strange to even imply that something like cheating could approach being in an abusive relationship.

What Ruki was feeling in this chapter is very much akin to that, she put all the blame on herself and her self >esteem was basically crushed to dust. Sachi hurt Ruki, destroyed her ego, and even if Ruki was not asking for an apologize, if she was a decent being she at least should have feel sorry for her.

I think you're both overstating Ruki's situation and you're misidentifying the cause. Ruki's ego was never in a good state, and it was the distance between her and Sachi (which was more Ruki's own fault) that was the reason, not Sachi sleeping with Remi.

The other thing: Ruki wasn't even that bothered by Remi and Sachi having sex, because she was pretty much expecting to get dumped from the start anyway. Really can't get why people are so fixated on the "cheating" when A: that's not really what was even happening, and B: It's not all that central to the characters' arcs, here.

Ruki did care about it. A lot. You wouldnt have seen her saying why she couldnt be like Remi if that wasnt the case.

She wanted Sachi to actually be attracted to her, and she assumes the problem is that she's not cool, like Remi is. I also read it that she wanted to be able to sleep with Sachi and enjoy it, not caring about how mostly straight she is. She actually never acts too upset about the supposed cheating, so everyone's fixation on that is, again, puzzling.

joined May 1, 2013

All of this stuff blaming the victim here seems a bit revisionist. Near as I can make out, Ruki was very straightforward. She simply and flat out confessed love, and then started inviting Sachi out on dates, talking to her intimately, and apparently (although it's skimmed past rather vaguely) having sex with her. If Sachi thought Ruki was just playing around, it's not because of anything Ruki did and certainly not because she, y'know, asked or anything.
And until the discussion post-cheating I don't remember anyone saying Ruki was being a bad girlfriend or anything. Only now, when they want to defend Sachi's behaviour by saying "Oh, it's the other girl's fault she cheated" are they looking back and finding fault. I find it unpersuasive. To the contrary, even before the cheating, on a second read-through it looks to me as though Sachi wasn't treating Ruki that well. She left her hanging after her confession--"Could you wait for a reply?"--fair enough as far as it goes, but then she basically started dating her, getting emotional relief from her, and having sex with her, without ever giving that reply. One might suggest that all the way through she used Ruki and her love, and let Ruki think what she wanted because it was convenient. I'm not committed to that interpretation, but it holds a bit more water than some of the reactive claims about Ruki being a lousy girlfriend.
Even the situation where Sachi started cheating--it all started from Sachi deciding it would be too much trouble to communicate with Ruki about her ex-boyfriend wanting to be introduced to Ruki.

If you read that first sex scene and didn't feel queasy about Ruki, then I absolutely can't comprehend how you're approaching this comic. You've got this hyperfocus on the CHEATING, which means Ruki is forever cast as the victim (ignoring the situation she put Sachi in at first) and you refuse to look at the situation from Sachi's point of view.
I also think you're reading Sachi wrong about thinking Ruki was just playing around. She wasn't saying that she didn't take Ruki seriously, she was saying that she had such a rigid view of gender that even in this situation and even surrounded by lesbians, her immediate thought to seeing a feminine woman is "she'd make a nice wife."

You're also contradicting yourself, since you acknowledge that they never had an explicit, agreed-upon relationship, and yet apparently believe Sachi violated Ruki's trust by sleeping with Remi, which doesn't really work.

And finally, about cheating? Not inherently bad. It's up to the partner. Ruki doesn't seem to want Sachi to apologize, so she doesn't have to apologize.

Polyamory and open relationships aren't inherently bad. Cheating is. Ruki didn't tell Sachi to apologize, but it's clear she was absolutely crushed that Sachi cheated on her, and any reasonable person would have expected exactly that. Some of the arguments here are really reaching.

I keep saying this, but it's absolutely perplexing to me: What is WITH some of you people and cheating? This rigid heuristic CHEATERS ARE BAD and so an enormous focus on that as the root of problems when that's not what's going on.
No, cheating is not inherently bad. I've known people who've been cheated on, and it wasn't that big of a problem in their relationship, just because they didn't care too much. I've known people who cheated as a way of ending a relationship where they weren't being treated well and they were too scared to end another way, and while that's not exactly noble, it was absolutely a good thing that they did it and the terrible relationship didn't continue. Things are complicated.

last edited at Feb 23, 2015 12:18PM

Roomie
joined Mar 9, 2014

^ Well we've read this manga differently, what I saw is that the way Sacchi left their relationship in suspend and letting Ruki do as she wanted while showing a disinterested face and not saying anything was the first blow and the revelation of the cheating was the final blow. It is the cheating which led Ruki to finally try to end the awkward relationship they had and burst into tears. It might not be the only problem but I think it is relevant .

Plus in chapter 11 Ruki seemed really bothered by a possible cheating (or whatever you want to call it x)) from Sacchi

I'm not saying Sacchi is the only one at fault, Ruki should also have talked to Sacchi more and personally I would never have touched a girl who make such a face, that's such a turn-off, but here all the damage were taken by Ruki if I can say it like that. Sacchi could have been way more delicate handling Ruki but she didn't.

last edited at Feb 23, 2015 12:51PM

joined Jun 14, 2013

Is it over yet? God damn, I am so disappointed in the author (who I usually like) for writing such a badly plotted manga. Seriously this was only meant to make the readers feel angry and like shit.

joined May 1, 2013

Is it over yet? God damn, I am so disappointed in the author (who I usually like) for writing such a badly plotted manga. Seriously this was only meant to make the readers feel angry and like shit.

If it inspires such strong emotions, it can't be that badly plotted.

Natsuki
joined Feb 5, 2015

No, cheating is not inherently bad. I've known people who've been cheated on, and it wasn't that big of a problem in their relationship, just because they didn't care too much. I've known people who cheated as a way of ending a relationship where they weren't being treated well and they were too scared to end another way, and while that's not exactly noble, it was absolutely a good thing that they did it and the terrible relationship didn't continue. Things are complicated.

I disagree with you. Cheating is bad, the person who cheated might not be a bad person (say like ryuu-kun). If cheating is a way to solve problems in a relationship, I wonder what happened to talking. If they were treated bad, why not walk out the door and just end the toxic relationship? I mean why not exit the door the same way you enter it? To me cheating is forever wrong and is a selfish and cowardly action. Although I do agree with you that in this story, cheating was not the root of the problem between ruki and sacchi.

Natsuki
joined Feb 5, 2015

Whatever relationship they had was going on fine until the day Ruki proposed for them to have sex. After they slept together, things went downhill. To me, both ruki and sacchi are at fault for the mess, ruki for assuming things and pushing her ego on sacchi and sacchi for not speaking up about her wants and not and just accepting everything. Both were just not ready for a relationship at that time. The real relationship between them just started at chapter 13, after sacchi resolved her issue (I don't approve her way though) and they talked things out. It might not be what we would consider a happy ending, but probably in this story, that is what they need to go through in order to build a relationship.

Apart from all that, I'm kind of disappointed that we never get to see any story about Remi. She was always a part of everybody's story but we never get to know anything about her.

Ai,yo
joined Dec 24, 2014

^that and I would also like to see some closure on Maasa and Merume

Roomie
joined Mar 9, 2014

^that and I would also like to see some closure on Maasa and Merume

I think we will have this closure =D

Images(2)
joined Jan 10, 2015

Dam manga i love and hate it i don't know what to think any more b-but i have to read to the end!!!!! CITURS UPDATE FASTER!!!!

Fairy_tail_zero_ch03_12%20-%20c%c3%b3pia
joined Dec 7, 2014

Sacchan and Ruki worst couple, even Maasa and Meru is more cool.

Tumblr_3d1efdc4f3fb1ee16acd2f13f08afe0c_1e0d545a_12802
joined Mar 8, 2014

Saachi did solve her issues and realized she wanted to become stronger but that doesn't really mean that their relationship is going to be good from now on (leaving aside the cheating). Ruki wanted to be strong and cool and she sort of gave off that vibe at the beginning... However, she was still insecure at the same time. I'm not really sure how to describe this but she seemed the sort of strong character who has a delicate side... I think that Saachi's behavior made that side of hers even more strong and she became insecure, though she did make many mistakes as well... such as starting a relationship with someone who didn't like her.
So I don't think Ruki isn't a strong character, in my opinion she just can't be strong at this point...
Furthermore, Ruki fell in love with Saachi because she liked passive-like feminine girls and now that Saachi has changed/found her true self I'm not sure that Ruki is going to keep liking her. It's understandable that she doesn't realize at this point but she might realize later on and decide that she doesn't like Saachi...
I think Saachi didn't think of Ruki as cool because she was a "good girl", she was very kind with Saachi for example... and then she started thinking of her as weak when she became insecure about their relationship and sort of started feeling attracted to her...
At first I didn't understand this, but when Saachi is talking about the first time they had sex she mentions this "...it feels different from a guy, but that she'll calm down if I let her do me is the same". It sort of implies that Saachi isn't the passive-feminine girl she seems to be... I think it's symbolic for her personality in general as it was shown in this chapter.
So in conclusion, Saachi is a dominant-type of girl but I think that Ruki is possibly also that type of girl and she enjoys "protecting" her partner more than "being protected". Maybe it could work if Saachi wanted to also protect Ruki when she was feeling insecure but Saachi completely changed and it seems like she wants to assume the dominant role completely, something that Ruki may not like...
Omg, am I sort of repeating myself?
In any case, I wonder what will happen in the last chapter!!
Also the cover of the volume could kind of suggest the ending, I hope not though...

Drmrsmonarch
joined Feb 23, 2015

Hello, I have been visiting this site for quite a few years now. I haven't joined a discussion before, but after reading this I felt I had to for my own sake. Since after reading this chapter and thinking on it, I still have no idea how I feel about and that is amazing to me.

When Ruki said she had no idea what to do when faced with this situation, I felt the same way. Part of me did want her to toss Sachi away for this betrayal of her love, but when ever I thought about that didn't feel right either. Ruki does seem to be truly in love with Sachi, you can tell through out the chapter she is hurt. The thing is though I think what was hurting her the most was the notion that she now had to separate herself Sachi. There is also the fact Ruki fell for her without really knowing what type of person Sachi was in reality. (This part is hard for me to explain) I think when faced with the reality the imagine Ruki created of Sachi didn't have any real bearing for her love. It's like she said she doesn't have a reason.

As for Sachi... I think like other people have said that before this chapter Sachi had no real love for Ruki. To her she was just playing another role, trying to fit the part that works best for current situation. She finds herself friends with some lesbians, why not be one their girlfriends. The thing is I don't think she was being cruel about any of it. She seemed to be this very passive person, that she wanted to find some per-defined role that would just let her fade into the background. We see this with regards to her boyfriend and the circle she was hanging out with in her first year. Now while I don't sympathize with her, I do think she feels remorse. Part of her feels that her sleeping with Remi was just as meaningless as when she was with Ruki, since to her there was no love between them. But later on I think she finally realizes that she does have love Ruki, she just couldn't recognize due to her filtering everything through those roles she played before this. I say this because she calls herself cruel. If you were trying to justify your actions you would not use that word to describe yourself. And it wasn't just an act for Ruki since she used while with Remi. She wasn't trying to hide who she was, she was being honest and sometimes that just burns. I do think there is love and a desire to move forward since why now, after nearly a year and half of dating, does she call Ruki her girlfriend.

And after all of this I think I have come to a conclusion. None of the sex so far has been about love. It is presented in parts as this clinical, matter of fact activity to just this senseless act of pleasure to this weapon used to destroy and control people. I just re-read most of the chapters over the weekend and something struck me, none of the sex scenes seemed passionate. Most of the just seemed cold or sometimes even a little sad. I think this was always there though since in the first chapter Ruki said the world wasn't going change dramatically since she had sex. I think at the time that could have been seen as just this hook for the series, now because of this everything is going start. And this could just be me, but I think that is part of the message: sex is just an act. If the reasons behind it is hallow and emotionless then the product is the same. If is there no real love, there is no "love making". For the conclusion I see happening is Ruki and Sachi finally coming together and enjoying each other completely.

Well anyway thank you for indulging me, I had to get this out of my head. I feel this wonderful is a site and I hope no one will mind me sticking around.

Yurifaceapproved3%20copy
joined Sep 10, 2014

Well anyway thank you for indulging me, I had to get this out of my head. I feel this wonderful is a site and I hope no one will mind me sticking around.

Welcome on board!
Now that you say it, it effectively looks like a part of this manga's message is related to the importance people give to sex in a relationship. How something that is just an act, can create or destroy links between partners or friends, based on the personal meaning each gives to it.

Sacchi having sex because she is curious and doesn't really mind
Ruki, because she considers that it is an act of love or because she thinks it has to be done as she is in love.
Fue, because she feels forced to
Asuna, because she is craving for it
Remi, because she is bored or doesn't no what else to do with people?
Meru, because sex, in her mind, counterbalances her lack of self-esteem?
Maasa, still holding back...

Did I miss somebody?

Perso I want Maasa to get Meru. Would be fun to know if she is as bad in bed as she is with singing...

last edited at Feb 23, 2015 9:13PM

2014-03-26
joined Feb 23, 2015

This recent chapter and the manga overall have gotten people into their feelings.I can understand why, since the things going on in this manga are relatable to some people. Hopefully we get a fulfilling ending

Purple Library Guy
Kare%20kano%20joker
joined Mar 3, 2013

If you read that first sex scene and didn't feel queasy about Ruki, then I absolutely can't comprehend how you're approaching this comic.

That one frame was certainly a danger sign, but it also had no context. We don't know how they ended up that way. All the scenes between them leading up to that show Ruki being very non-pressuring about, well, pretty much everything. You could assume that at some point the mangaka didn't show us, Ruki completely changed her approach. Or you could assume that Sachi was so not emotionally invested in sex or not-sex, and so not emotionally invested in Ruki, that she decided (as she decided in a few other places) to just go with the flow and take an easy way out instead of communicating. It's very ambiguous and IMO not that well handled by the mangaka.

You're also contradicting yourself, since you acknowledge that they never had an explicit, agreed-upon relationship, and yet apparently believe Sachi violated Ruki's trust by sleeping with Remi, which doesn't really work.

Oh, come on. Ruki made her side of things clear: She loved Sachi, wanted to go out with her, wanted to be in a loving intimate relationship. Sachi proceeded to go out with her and have sex with her. She never said "By the way, I'm just playing with you to pass time and distract myself from the bad shit you helped me out of"; both she and everyone else knew perfectly well what Ruki would draw from that. Even she didn't pretend it wasn't cheating, was quite clear that that's exactly what she considered it, so I don't see why anyone else is saying different.

I keep saying this, but it's absolutely perplexing to me: What is WITH some of you people and cheating? This rigid heuristic CHEATERS ARE BAD and so an enormous focus on that as the root of problems when that's not what's going on.
No, cheating is not inherently bad. I've known people who've been cheated on, and it wasn't that big of a problem in their relationship, just because they didn't care too much. I've known people who cheated as a way of ending a relationship where they weren't being treated well and they were too scared to end another way, and while that's not exactly noble, it was absolutely a good thing that they did it and the terrible relationship didn't continue. Things are complicated.

I'm finding it hard to fathom your perspective myself. Let's take it this way around:
Betrayal of trust is bad. Can we agree that far?
Cheating is a betrayal of trust. That is, it involves breaking a compact and going behind the other person's back to do so; generally although not always, it involves lying to the other person or at least concealment from them of information they would consider important and very relevant to your relationship. Now a "going out" relationship does not have to be monogamous, but in our society unless you get explicit about it being otherwise, it's fairly definite that it will be and people are going to believe it is. So there's a compact there which the other person is trusting in. If you break it, and all the more if you deceive them (which Sachi did for a month or so and if Remi hadn't decided she wanted to see Ruki's heartbroken face we don't know how long she would have kept the deception going), you have betrayed their trust. If you have an open relationship sleeping with someone else can be not bad, but then it's not cheating.
It is worse the closer the person you betray is to you, the more they care for you and so forth. Of course if you're "with" someone who doesn't care about you, with whom you are not close, to whom you owe nothing . . . then it's a more minor betrayal of trust, there being little trust to betray, but you shouldn't be with them in the first place. The default case is there's some reason you're together, no?
What you say to defend cheating is really about ends justifying means. It's my opinion that if you do something bad for some reason that involves a greater good, it may be necessary but it is still bad. The CIA may murder someone because they think lives will be saved if they do (OK, that's not really why the CIA murders people, but you know, if it was), but the act would remain murder and it would still be bad. That crime would be on the conscience of whoever did it whatever the ends they served. So OK, there may be times when due to someone's weak personality and lack of allies, coming up with a move like cheating is their only effective way out of a terrible relationship. But it would still be better if they could have come up with a more honest way. The cheating itself remains bad, even if there's some odd corner case where it's a means to good or necessary ends.

Hurting people is also bad. Usually, cheating does. There may be times when cheating doesn't hurt the other person. It's still a betrayal in such a case. But anyhow, that so does not apply here. Again, I can't see why anyone is trying to argue that Ruki wasn't hurt. Exhibit, for example, aside from all the tears and such, page 21. Sachi says "I'm going to tell you something that'll hurt you" and Ruki's answer is, "I've been hurt too much already, there's nothing left to hurt."
I'm already destroyed, it's too late to hurt me more . . . I don't get an analysis which wants to claim she wasn't hurt.

65752315_p1
joined May 1, 2014

If you read that first sex scene and didn't feel queasy about Ruki, then I absolutely can't comprehend how you're approaching this comic.

That one frame was certainly a danger sign, but it also had no context. We don't know how they ended up that way. All the scenes between them leading up to that show Ruki being very non-pressuring about, well, pretty much everything. You could assume that at some point the mangaka didn't show us, Ruki completely changed her approach. Or you could assume that Sachi was so not emotionally invested in sex or not-sex, and so not emotionally invested in Ruki, that she decided (as she decided in a few other places) to just go with the flow and take an easy way out instead of communicating. It's very ambiguous and IMO not that well handled by the mangaka.

You're also contradicting yourself, since you acknowledge that they never had an explicit, agreed-upon relationship, and yet apparently believe Sachi violated Ruki's trust by sleeping with Remi, which doesn't really work.

Oh, come on. Ruki made her side of things clear: She loved Sachi, wanted to go out with her, wanted to be in a loving intimate relationship. Sachi proceeded to go out with her and have sex with her. She never said "By the way, I'm just playing with you to pass time and distract myself from the bad shit you helped me out of"; both she and everyone else knew perfectly well what Ruki would draw from that. Even she didn't pretend it wasn't cheating, was quite clear that that's exactly what she considered it, so I don't see why anyone else is saying different.

I keep saying this, but it's absolutely perplexing to me: What is WITH some of you people and cheating? This rigid heuristic CHEATERS ARE BAD and so an enormous focus on that as the root of problems when that's not what's going on.
No, cheating is not inherently bad. I've known people who've been cheated on, and it wasn't that big of a problem in their relationship, just because they didn't care too much. I've known people who cheated as a way of ending a relationship where they weren't being treated well and they were too scared to end another way, and while that's not exactly noble, it was absolutely a good thing that they did it and the terrible relationship didn't continue. Things are complicated.

I'm finding it hard to fathom your perspective myself. Let's take it this way around:
Betrayal of trust is bad. Can we agree that far?
Cheating is a betrayal of trust. That is, it involves breaking a compact and going behind the other person's back to do so; generally although not always, it involves lying to the other person or at least concealment from them of information they would consider important and very relevant to your relationship. Now a "going out" relationship does not have to be monogamous, but in our society unless you get explicit about it being otherwise, it's fairly definite that it will be and people are going to believe it is. So there's a compact there which the other person is trusting in. If you break it, and all the more if you deceive them (which Sachi did for a month or so and if Remi hadn't decided she wanted to see Ruki's heartbroken face we don't know how long she would have kept the deception going), you have betrayed their trust. If you have an open relationship sleeping with someone else can be not bad, but then it's not cheating.
It is worse the closer the person you betray is to you, the more they care for you and so forth. Of course if you're "with" someone who doesn't care about you, with whom you are not close, to whom you owe nothing . . . then it's a more minor betrayal of trust, there being little trust to betray, but you shouldn't be with them in the first place. The default case is there's some reason you're together, no?
What you say to defend cheating is really about ends justifying means. It's my opinion that if you do something bad for some reason that involves a greater good, it may be necessary but it is still bad. The CIA may murder someone because they think lives will be saved if they do (OK, that's not really why the CIA murders people, but you know, if it was), but the act would remain murder and it would still be bad. That crime would be on the conscience of whoever did it whatever the ends they served. So OK, there may be times when due to someone's weak personality and lack of allies, coming up with a move like cheating is their only effective way out of a terrible relationship. But it would still be better if they could have come up with a more honest way. The cheating itself remains bad, even if there's some odd corner case where it's a means to good or necessary ends.

Hurting people is also bad. Usually, cheating does. There may be times when cheating doesn't hurt the other person. It's still a betrayal in such a case. But anyhow, that so does not apply here. Again, I can't see why anyone is trying to argue that Ruki wasn't hurt. Exhibit, for example, aside from all the tears and such, page 21. Sachi says "I'm going to tell you something that'll hurt you" and Ruki's answer is, "I've been hurt too much already, there's nothing left to hurt."
I'm already destroyed, it's too late to hurt me more . . . I don't get an analysis which wants to claim she wasn't hurt.

Totally agree with you ^

joined May 1, 2013

If you read that first sex scene and didn't feel queasy about Ruki, then I absolutely can't comprehend how you're approaching this comic.

That one frame was certainly a danger sign, but it also had no context. We don't know how they ended up that way. All the scenes between them leading up to that show Ruki being very non-pressuring about, well, pretty much everything. You could assume that at some point the mangaka didn't show us, Ruki completely changed her approach. Or you could assume that Sachi was so not emotionally invested in sex or not-sex, and so not emotionally invested in Ruki, that she decided (as she decided in a few other places) to just go with the flow and take an easy way out instead of communicating. It's very ambiguous and IMO not that well handled by the mangaka.

Pressure doesn't have to be aggressive or violent. Ruki took advantage of Sachi's passivity and her situation to get her into bed. The fact that Ruki was motivated by True Love makes her sympathetic, but it doesn't make the whole thing not kind of gross.
Sachi should have spoken up. So should Ruki. But you're not going to convince me that a part of Ruki wasn't being strategic about not speaking up, especially after some of the stuff she said to Remi.

You're also contradicting yourself, since you acknowledge that they never had an explicit, agreed-upon relationship, and yet apparently believe Sachi violated Ruki's trust by sleeping with Remi, which doesn't really work.

Oh, come on. Ruki made her side of things clear: She loved Sachi, wanted to go out with her, wanted to be in a loving intimate relationship. Sachi proceeded to go out with her and have sex with her. She never said "By the way, I'm just playing with you to pass time and distract myself from the bad shit you helped me out of"; both she and everyone else knew perfectly well what Ruki would draw from that. Even she didn't pretend it wasn't cheating, was quite clear that that's exactly what she considered it, so I don't see why anyone else is saying different.

It's just... it's really hard for me to read what you're saying and not see it as including an aspect of "Ruki deserves to date the good, feminine Sacchan she had a crush on, because she was so loyal and so patient and stewed in silent pain from her longtime, hidden love."
Y'know, this kind of thing is usually dumb, but imagine RUKI is a man. Secretly in love with his best friend, he waits until like five minutes after she's had a painful breakup before confessing and (innocently!) pressuring her into a fake non-relationship she clearly isn't into. Instead of talking to her about it, he goes through with sex while she's listlessly lying there, not enjoying herself.

I'm not saying Ruki is terrible: she really DID have good intentions. But she's also an avoidant, immature person, and she never saw Sachi as a real person rather than an ideal.

I keep saying this, but it's absolutely perplexing to me: What is WITH some of you people and cheating? This rigid heuristic CHEATERS ARE BAD and so an enormous focus on that as the root of problems when that's not what's going on.

What you say to defend cheating is really about ends justifying means. It's my opinion that if you do something bad for some reason that involves a greater good, it may be necessary but it is still bad. The CIA may murder someone because they think lives will be saved if they do (OK, that's not really why the CIA murders people, but you know, if it was), but the act would remain murder and it would still be bad. That crime would be on the conscience of whoever did it whatever the ends they served. So OK, there may be times when due to someone's weak personality and lack of allies, coming up with a move like cheating is their only effective way out of a terrible relationship. But it would still be better if they could have come up with a more honest way. The cheating itself remains bad, even if there's some odd corner case where it's a means to good or necessary ends.

I mean, I don't want to necessarily get into some kind of deontological vs. utilitarian argument, here, but to me, what's bad is hurting someone, and violating someone's trust might or might not hurt someone to varying degrees, and cheating might or might not be considered a violation of trust. Point is, there's no RULE about whether cheating is bad; it's pretty much up to the partner.

And furthermore, cheating doesn't exist in a vacuum, which means two things. First, there's always a cause, which
is a layer of complication. But second, it can only be compared to the possible alternatives. In a perfect world, the alternative is adult, mature communication. But if someone's partner won't do that, you absolutely shouldn't then tell that person, "Well, you should have done that more honestly!"

You're not going to catch me saying that cheating on your partner isn't wrong much, if not most of the time. But it's not always that big a deal, and it's never the whole story, and, again, sometimes it's NOT wrong. It's confusing to me how profound a focus you (and others) have on it, especially when it's at the expense of paying attention to all the OTHER ways these people are hurting each other, which are much more central to the plot.
Ruki A: Idealizes Sachi and needed to have that broken if the relationship was to stand any chance, and B: Avoided even talking to Sachi for weeks, if not months. The extent of the communication Ruki ever was planning on was "I'm going to take Sacchan out on an awesome date where I drive and I'm cool and so she'll like me!"
Given that, and given Sachi's own issues she was working through? I can't get too mad at her. And dramatically, it's what needed to happen.

Hurting people is also bad. Usually, cheating does. There may be times when cheating doesn't hurt the other person. It's still a betrayal in such a case. But anyhow, that so does not apply here. Again, I can't see why anyone is trying to argue that Ruki wasn't hurt. Exhibit, for example, aside from all the tears and such, page 21. Sachi says "I'm going to tell you something that'll hurt you" and Ruki's answer is, "I've been hurt too much already, there's nothing left to hurt."
I'm already destroyed, it's too late to hurt me more . . . I don't get an analysis which wants to claim she wasn't hurt.

Ruki was hurt, but she was hurt because she thought Sachi was going to break up with her. She expressed more distress about driving badly than she did about the cheating, because her whole complex isn't being betrayed, it's that she won't be able to live up to the role she tries very, very hard to force herself into. The happy ending in sight now is that she can stop trying: Sachi can take on that role. They can both settle into where they naturally fit. Ruki can be the passive one, because that's her nature, and it might be fine, because now, at least, there's mutual understanding.

[hachimitsu_scans]_sweet_magic_syndrome_v01_c07_04
joined Aug 22, 2013

This is totally on the side though....I really think this is an awesome series!! considering it is just so "life" you know.. "The Feelings We All Must Endure" is the perfect title for this plot!

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joined Feb 24, 2015

I think that they didnt made a relationship clear even tho they were going out and having sex that doesnt mean Saachin was fully accepting at that point a gf relationship, its not nice or thoughful but I wouldnt call it cheating.

Ruki is so into her it doesnt seem to be a deal breaker.

The mangaka did an okay plot, characters arent both mad in love with each other, it happens irl

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