Okay, so mixed feelings. It feels like they kind of Villainized bisexual women. I don't know man like yeah some people from every sexuality (pan, bi, straight, lesbian, gay, and etc) can be players, but it seems like senpai was just living their life. She wasn't bothering anyone and even got shit for it (guy almost hitting her for saying not interested). I don't think Chihiro was really emotionally mature and was too fixated on senpai. This is on Chihiro more than senpai. Senpai was being herself. (Though and don't get me wrong I've been and experienced what it's like to be a Chihiro part 1 Chihiro only. I never went player for kicks.) Senpai was pretty open about how she viewed people and relationships as a pain. She didn't want to put in the effort. Or change if someone asked her to. She thought that was freedom.
Yeah, it was shitty of senpai to cancel their plans last minute, but so many people put their dates/bfs/gfs before their friends and even their families. So I mean I can and can't fault her for that. If it happens more than a few times though I would be pretty pissed and wouldn't make plans with them at all.
But Chihiro kept hoping she'd change. That was all on Chihiro. Senpai never said she'd stop, never said anything that would make them closer besides the casual "Wanna go to a hotel?", it was more like she wanted to see if Chihiro was like the others or a test to see how long it would take before she said,"Yes" and what it would look like. Senpai was even a little disappointed (in my opinion) she was like,"I knew it. You're always like that." As if Chihiro not changing and giving in to senpai was so predictable.

That's for part one.

Now part two:
I believe Senpai deserves better. I mean like I said before she isn't a villian, she's just human, and she liked sleeping around as is her right as an individual/person.
Chihiro went all bent out of shape and broke other girls hearts like senpai in a warped attempt to forget, and never forget senpai by acting like her.
This was neither a shock or a development for me. I was like yeah figures. Can't have someone be healthy, get heartbroken, and then continue to be healthy/themselves. No no gotta go for crazy bītćh or nothing.
Seriously, she was just breaking girls hearts that looked like senpai to get back at her?? Like gurl get some therapy. Or move?! Maybe move?

I thought she had gone overseas or something to have a change of scenery that would've been nice. Then have them "meet" at a company party where everyone even the board of trustees attends.
Or if they wanted a "bad end" they could've had Chihiro married to a Canadian or some shit. Like "You had your chance and now I'm taken" oops XD ya know?
Or the friend on the train talk about how awesome their boss is and that their wife is quite the looker. Or something ya know.

I definitely didn't think the end was anything great. Chihiro just couldn't handle rejection, or not getting her way cause really they were never in a relationship, relationship for her to feel like she was owned something out of her friendship with senpai.
That's really what the story's about: Chihiro's gay ass needs therapy. Lots of it!

Senpai was just living her life, her way and then she changed her mind. That's growth.

Chihiro was a literal pouty child all throughout and then decided fuck it I'll wreck people's hearts since they/senpai didn't want me as I was. I was ready to love them, and so fuck them it's too late.

Which is weird cause I think Chihiro still likes senpai and never really stopped, but she's too into her new persona to want to be a good GF to senpai. She like thought about it for two seconds and decided to ignore it... cause maybe being vulnerable again is too painful for her?
That's all I can think about.

Then she gets all macho and she's like oh interesting you like me the same way as I did back then? Okay, then time for your heart to be broken. Like what? Senpai never tried kissing Chihiro or being romantic with them (in part one), so this is just all kinds of fucked and she doesn't (Chihiro) understand that she wasn't owned anything back then and she thinks because she was "wronged" that she can act this way... that's just not sitting well with me.
Chihiro is worse than all the other people senpai used to sleep around with simply because of this victim mentality when she wasn't abused, just not "chosen". If senpai had used her to crash at her house, for sex, to hit her, or to buy her meals then maybe I could how that ending would make sense but in this context it's just waaaaaaay off. Not even good. Chihiro is fucked up, was fucked up, and she never changed her mentality or made peace with not being chosen by a pretty girl.
Senpai for the win guys. She is best girl in both chapters. Just trying to live her life, her way. She deserves better!

Oh off topic, but how do I get my username changed on here? This account is pretty old from when I was in middle school so maybe 10 or 12 years old. I'd like to change it to CrazedFanatic if possible, or Random_Fanatic if the other one is taken.

The second part kinda ruined it for me. I thought/hoped that this would be one of the rare stories where people actually move on with their lives and find happiness elsewhere, but nope, it's just another "they're stuck together now" ending. I feel like these toxic relationship endings are simply not as interesting or original as authors seem to think? And this particular story had also used the classic bi player trope—which I really wish would die already—so overall... somewhat disappointing to me.

The second part kinda ruined it for me. I thought/hoped that this would be one of the rare stories where people actually move on with their lives and find happiness elsewhere, but nope, it's just another "they're stuck together now" ending. I feel like these toxic relationship endings are simply not as interesting or original as authors seem to think? And this particular story had also used the classic bi player trope—which I really wish would die already—so overall... somewhat disappointing to me.

Preach!

I loved this. I think people placed an excessive amount of expectations on the 2nd part while waiting for it, maybe it would've been received differently if it were released as a whole.
I think the simplest explanation for this doujin is that they are made for each other, they simply don't fully realize that.
Loved these 2 panels by the way:

woohoo we love healthy relationships lol

I enjoyed part 2, but I think I would've preferred ending it off in part 1. I feel like there are rarely yuri stories that have the "Lose the one you loved, because you took them for granted" angle. At least compared to the "This is a toxic relationship, but we can never quit each other" type of story.

I agree completely. The first chapter could have been standalone tbh. The second chapter is weaker than the first. I still liked it, it was still interesting, but I think the story is actually more thematically consistent if it just cut off after Ch1.

Good pussy makes a girl turn evil

In this case it's kind of like not getting pussy makes you turn evil, apparently?

last edited at Aug 29, 2022 5:27PM

Yeah I think overall, this chapter definitely makes me like the story a little less. I think both chapters, individually, tell really cool interesting stories--the first about how a girl extricates herself from a relationship where she's being strung along, and the one who took her for granted pays for her mistake by losing her, only later realizing what she meant to her. I think that's a think that can really happen for people with an avoidant attachment style, like they need the distance and the control, and don't take into account what that can do for the other person. It was really satisfying to see her realize the problem with how she was living, and it very delicately and subtly handled the reveal that, like most people who live like this, fundamentally she's kinda lonely and wants someone close to her, and wants someone to want her. Like I love the little details that show that she doesn't actually really believe that kouhai is a loyal person who wants a committed, stable attachment to her--she can't understand that she doesn't want to go to the hotel due to her real feelings because she can't parse someone having that kind of deep, abiding affection for her. And it's only once she leaves does she realize, by the absence, what kouhai was giving her, because it's only by feeling that loss of access that she's able to empathize and understand what kouhai was feeling. It's also cathartic as someone who has been hurt by people like that to see the underlying emotions that they don't give us access to. Leaving means not seeing if they do realize they actually cared about you, or if they really were just fully take it or leave it with you, and fiction like this helps resolve that.

I think the second part, too, was a really interesting and cool take. How a girl with such an open heart, who had realistic and human issues, felt wounded by the way they interacted and just totally emotionally withdrew into herself. She can't trust people to stay with her anymore, and so avoids getting attached to her and strings them along so that she can ride the high of feeling how she's the one who's needed now. It's a great demonstration of how someone becomes like that. The little details of the reveal, and Senpai realizing how deep the changes go when her sweet kouhai says "it's a shame i didn't fuck you when i had the chance" is also really good shit. Like, it's not just, "oh, I put on a strong face, but deep down I'm still the same person." In that moment, she realized that her time together fundamentally changed her kouhai, and that she's no longer the person that gave her what she really always wanted when she couldn't appreciate it. She realizes those deep, abiding, honest feelings are not what they were--that kouhai has given up the ability to have relationships like that to protect herself from feeling that hurt again, and has become a distorted caricature of who Senpai used to be, willingly and intentionally cultivating unrequited attachment to her even while knowing what it feels like to be on the receiving end. Now that Senpai is willing to give kouhai enduring, committed, and loyal attachment, kouhai is no longer a person who believes in that, and has become a monster that intentionally hurts people because she wants their company but can't be vulnerable.

I think the reflections between the two are interesting, but I think the first part tells such a strong standalone story that it's hard to reconcile. It's weird because, on the face of it, the fact that Senpai appears to think that kouhai has just risen above all of this, and then finds out she's fallen so so far below, mirrors the shattering of the readers' expectations. But I can't help but feel disappointed. I think it's the ending--them being together like that is sort of unoriginal and boring. I think the better endings to either the first part or the second is that either they meet up again, kouhai is extremely guarded, and they talk through what happened between them to arrive at something hopeful--or else wistful for what could have been as they part ways--or that Senpai extracts herself from kouhai in the same way, and has some confrontation with her about what it means to string people along. As it is, the story just felt kind of meh.

It was pretty good catharsis fiction, but I was expecting something fucking stellar after chapter one.

Woah

As much as I'd like to know other's feelings and interpretations to the story, there is just too much to read.

I'd like to point out a few things though (it's very possible that others have already, but oh well), the last few lines the MC says are VERY important. Why? Because the MC knows senpai will only follow her if she's unobtainable, she knows this because she went through the same exact thing.

I also like the parallels of chapter 1 starting with through the eyes MC (the vulnerable one) and then ending with senpai (the player). Then chapter 2 starts off with senpai (the now vulnerable one) and then the MC (the now player).

For those taking a side, I understand. I'd like to say that both are not so good people though. Senpai has changed, but she has done irreversible damage to the MC (even though she denies that it was her fault). It's kind of ironic that they both changed, which was directly caused by the other, but basically switched roles in the relationship.

All I can say is, if a teacher assigned an analysis of Murasakino stories, yuri fans would have a field day.

I swear I've read dumb shit like this a hundred times, and a lot of them probably by Kodama Naoko. 3/10.

Someone’s upset lol

senpai was just living their life. She wasn't bothering anyone and even got shit for it (guy almost hitting her for saying not interested). I don't think Chihiro was really emotionally mature and was too fixated on senpai. This is on Chihiro more than senpai. Senpai was being herself. (Though and don't get me wrong I've been and experienced what it's like to be a Chihiro part 1 Chihiro only. I never went player for kicks.) Senpai was pretty open about how she viewed people and relationships as a pain. She didn't want to put in the effort. Or change if someone asked her to. She thought that was freedom.

Senpai was just living her life, her way and then she changed her mind. That's growth.

you're the realest comment out there. there's a clear difference on how their player-ism works. senpai was upfront about her view on relationships and commitment and far as we can tell chihiru isn't.

I definitely didn't think the end was anything great. Chihiro just couldn't handle rejection, or not getting her way cause really they were never in a relationship, relationship for her to feel like she was owned something out of her friendship with senpai.
That's really what the story's about: Chihiro's gay ass needs therapy. Lots of it!

to me she reads a bit like an incel... i was so happy for her when she seemed to move on but pt2 just makes u feel a deep sense of disappointment

Well, what comes around goes around. Senpai was a unpleasant and selfish person.

Chihiro. Well, the story would have been great if she moved on. Instead she ended up being a slave to her feelings to such a unworthy person. Sad.

If I have to summarize, Murasakino's works is about a satisfying pain.
A doormat dog pairs with a nonchalant players who doesn't like troublesome things. Having senpai who knows Chihiro's feeling, just do whatever with her because she "kept" up with it and having Chihiro being used whatever and listened to Senpai calling her "You're a pain" or that "Going out with you would be a pain" yet do nothing because she's helplessly in love with Senpai and chase for any little affection from Senpai>>> perfect angst. Like.. this is the worst pairing it can be, the most hurtful one, someone who let others do whatever and would do anything in chasing affection of that one person and someone who do whatever and don't give a care about them, who would dump them in a second if they become a pain.

Having senpai start missing Chihiro after she left>>satisfying
Having senpai know see and understand Chihiro's feeling (implied by how now she know why Chihiro don't want to sleep with her)>>pain for senpai, satisfying angst.

Having Senpai to live through exactly what Chihiro went ("Honestly, you're kinda disappointing/a pain senpai"), Chihiro treats her nonchalantly, hurt her whatever, and having senpai now became the one who is helplessly chasing Chihiro despite the pain she caused her>> aangst, but satisfying.

Murasakino's works is never about happy ending or healthy couple, but rather a story that induces pains in the most angst it can be in a way that it is satisfying (either it's a suffering revenge or just poetically depressing)

last edited at May 18, 2024 7:23AM

That was kinda gay lmao