Wow, what a bad translation!
What corrections would you suggest?
In page 1, fourth bubble, when the girl that arrived ask if the other girl was waiting for her, she says "だ だめだた?", you translated it as "R... Really?", when it should be translated as "Was it no good?" or something like this, and the other one reply "ううん", that it's a way to say "No", and you translated as "Y-Yes".
In page 2, the girl says "帰ろか", you translated it as "Are you going home?", when it should be "Let's go home", in the same page after the forehead kiss, the other girl says "こちがよかったなー なんて" while pointing to her mouth, you translated it as "That felt... nice... somehow" when it should be "I would prefer it was here... just joking".
You totally changed scenes context, you should do some corrections in this one.