I was surprised that she was able to be decisive about some things regarding the experience (which hotel, which type of room). I kinda expected her to be too nervous and overwhelmed and just defer everything to the pro. But then that lead to another surprise that she was unable to tell the woman what she was really looking for out of the experience. She went on extensively in previous chapters about how all she really wanted (at least for now) is an older woman to hug and hold her.
Maybe she left out some of her rationalization that changed her mind, or maybe she was mentally pushing herself to "get the most out of the experience" if she really never thought she'd do it again. But I can't help but think she would have enjoyed it more if she had clearly said she was afraid of that level of intimacy and only wanted to be held for that session.