Forum › Hanayome wa Motodanshi discussion
I can definitely relate to this. Ironically, what I'm relating most to is the part about looking up other people's stories about transitioning online and not being able to relate to all the details, and being afraid of "not really being trans" as a result xD
I relate to being turned off the idea, since when I was growing up the only examples I'd seen were bad drag queens (I've seen good drag queens since then) and sitcoms that had gorgeous actresses saying "I used to be a guy" for laughs. I couldn't see it as a thing regular people could be.
There is mistake in the tittle. It should be "Hanayome wa Motodanshi". Not "was" (I can understand mistake looking at english translation of the title though)
last edited at Feb 19, 2016 1:22PM
So the story is basically like an autobiography?
Also perhaps the "not yaoi" tag is suitable too. They are both biologically males but heck, it's still a het style relationshipThe "biologically male" phrase is so gross. Particularly in light of how it's mostly used as a weapon against trans folks, such as those frankly evil bathroom bills in the US (and an attempt in Canada too).
that shit is so scary...
are people really suggesting this be tagged as yaoi? tf? i'm getting pretty heated rn but i'm going to lay off calling anyone in particular out and just say: that line of thinking is a) transmisogynist and b) fucked up. if you don't understand why, educate your damn self, and grow up.
anyway this is really cute and i can wait to see more!
This is so cute! I love it!
It's worth noting that the author's mention about being transgender means having dysphoria is not actually compleely accurate.
Gender Dysphoria is a side-effect that some transgender people deal with, which is when you're so unhappy about your sex and gender not matching up, you become incredibly stressed and it affects your ability to function.
Plenty of transgender people don't suffer that, and just live comfortably identifying as men/women without having to modify their body. It's not that common a thing that everyone knows about it. Even some transgender men and women don't know about this, but it's definitely true.
Awwwwnn so kyute
...
THEYRE PERFECT FOR EACH OTHER, DAMMMIT
Hope to see more of such lovely series like this<33
Plenty of transgender people don't suffer that, and just live comfortably identifying as men/women without having to modify their body.
You seem to be conflating a couple of things there. Gender Dysphoria refers to feeling that your gender identity doesn't match up with your body. It doesn't necessarily mean you feel a need to modify your body. Simply that what you're assigned as at birth doesn't match who you actually are. There are any number of ways to cope with that, including (but not necessarily) hormones and surgery. Not everyone who's transgender feels it to the same degree, either, so that's something else to keep in mind. There's a wide range of degrees and responses.
Cute! I need more chapters!
There are already 2 more chapters out. She gets SRS
last edited at Feb 21, 2016 3:15PM
ah, if only I read that manga like 20 years ago...
and going for SRS all alone, OMG, that girl's really brave - it's freaking scary and painful... Don't know what I'd have done without support of my parents... and unlike the MCs', my mum was really shocked with my coming out. Quite surprisingly though, my dad's been pretty calm about it and accepted it a lot easier somehow. But gosh I'm still lucky as hell with my loving and caring family, given the experiences of other people, when they are being literally kicked out.
I missed this one until now. Is this something like Honey and Honey but with a focus on a transgender character instead of lesbian ones? If so I'll definitely have to keep an eye on this one and give it a read at some point.
There are any number of ways to cope with that, including (but not necessarily) hormones and surgery. Not everyone who's transgender feels it to the same degree, either, so that's something else to keep in mind. There's a wide range of degrees and responses.
And not everyone who's transgender necessarily feels the need to transition. (Or at least feels that transitioning wouldn't be enough for them or is otherwise a hassle in their case.) Edit: Rereading that it feels like I really butchered what I was trying to say, lol. Hopefully you get what I mean though.
last edited at Feb 21, 2016 9:28PM
This is such a good manga. Thank you.
I haven't dug too deep into Honey & Honey, but I think if you liked that, you'll also enjoy this.
This is surprisingly heartwarming and educational
I probably know the minimal when it comes to transgender but I know enough not to be judgmental; I hope to see more of this series, hopefully it'll teach people more about the topic
last edited at Feb 21, 2016 10:58PM
I haven't dug too deep into Honey & Honey, but I think if you liked that, you'll also enjoy this.
Sounds good to me then. Maybe I'll have to add this to my subscribed list rather than my to-read-later one even though it's one that sounds like I'd rather wait until it's finished before getting to it.
This gives me great Honey and Honey flash backs. It has the same amazing charm to it.
This gives me great Honey and Honey flash backs. It has the same amazing charm to it.
After having read through what's already been translated, it feels a lot like Honey and Honey both in general tone and art style. Quite an interesting read so far. Definitely can't wait for the rest of it to get translated.
This manga taught me more in 20 minutes than my biology teacher in 5 hours.... Makes me sad hoe bad sex ed is in general. I had a discussion with a group and most agreed on that statement. I think it's too outdated. There should be a new program with more information and text material.
Anyway, this made me so happy when I first started reading this. I am transgender and can relate to this woman, though my parents aren't as accepting as hers. She's lucky to have such nice parents. Some transgender people aren't out to their parents because they fear they won't be accepted, or get into trouble because of it. I've seen a friend cry on my shoulder because their parents didn't accept them. This is not ok. Being transgender is not by choice, and anyone who is reading this and needs help, please feel free to call the transgender suicide hotline in your country and get yourself the help you need. You are not a disgrace, you are not a bad person at all, you are who you are.
FtM, bind safely and do not use ace bandages or tape. There are cheap binders you can buy. But even with those, do not bind your chest for over 8 hours.
Reading this made me feel really happy c:
Also her husband is like, one of the most likable male characters(ish actual person) I've had the pleasure of reading about on this reader site
are people really suggesting this be tagged as yaoi? tf? i'm getting pretty heated rn but i'm going to lay off calling anyone in particular out and just say: that line of thinking is a) transmisogynist and b) fucked up. if you don't understand why, educate your damn self, and grow up.
anyway this is really cute and i can wait to see more!
Saying it like that makes it pretty hard for people who don't agree with you to be able to defend themselves without sounding like the bad guy, even though they usually just have different opinions from you. A lot of the people who disagree with the concept of transgender are going to be science majors or people who are already scientists (especially those who focus on human biology/anatomy), which makes them more educated than you appear to be. Note that I base this solely on your grammar in the post, not because of the things you were saying.
We preach so much about tolerance of all types of people, yet in doing so, we become remarkably intolerant of people who don't agree with our viewpoint. Your type of person especially has to watch out for that.
Just because you disagree with someone doesn't give you the right to insult or badmouth them. Just keep that in mind, it'll get you a lot farther than falsely named "universal tolerance" will. No one can be expected to be tolerant of everything in the first place, and respecting where people have personal limits is just common decency.
EDIT: Since I just know that people are going to assume I'm one of the people that disagree, I'll mention that I have a neutral position, mainly because I've never personally known any transgenders enough to form an opinion of the concept. But I prefer it when people don't resort to petty insults over something as commonplace as a disagreement, so I felt the need to say something. I would have said the same thing to a person who reacted this way to people who are against gays, even though I love yuri (I mean, what is most of this site hosting?) and can tolerate yaoi if it's written well.
last edited at Feb 22, 2016 3:45AM
Saying it like that makes it pretty hard for people who don't agree with you to be able to defend themselves without sounding like the bad guy, even though they usually just have different opinions from you. A lot of the people who disagree with the concept of transgender are going to be science majors or people who are already scientists (especially those who focus on human biology/anatomy), which makes them more educated than you appear to be. Note that I base this solely on your grammar in the post, not because of the things you were saying.
Transgenderism has nothing to do with biology or anatomy and everything to do with psychology. So those scientists could hold those opinions but they'd be entirely wrong and their training is irrelevant to the subject since transgenderism does not pertain to their field.
While it's becoming more common that it's not the case as people actually get educated on the subject, online at least you're going to find that a majority of people who are arguing against anti-trans stuff (even if those sentiments are out of simple ignorance) are typically transgender people in the first place. So having someone deny what they know to be true, even if they don't mean anything by it, is obviously not going to get a very polite response most of the time. (This is an issue exacerbated by the swarms of legitimate assholes and trolls who like to pop up in conversations like that too, though that bit is at least less of a problem here of all places.)
We preach so much about tolerance of all types of people, yet in doing so, we become remarkably intolerant of people who don't agree with our viewpoint.
I can agree with this bit though it's not really relevant in this case.
Transgenderism has nothing to do with biology or anatomy and everything to do with psychology. So those scientists could hold those opinions but they'd be entirely wrong and their training is irrelevant to the subject since transgenderism does not pertain to their field.
While it's becoming more common that it's not the case as people actually get educated on the subject, online at least you're going to find that a majority of people who are arguing against anti-trans stuff (even if those sentiments are out of simple ignorance) are typically transgender people in the first place. So having someone deny what they know to be true, even if they don't mean anything by it, is obviously not going to get a very polite response most of the time. (This is an issue exacerbated by the swarms of legitimate assholes and trolls who like to pop up in conversations like that too, though that bit is at least less of a problem here of all places.)
We preach so much about tolerance of all types of people, yet in doing so, we become remarkably intolerant of people who don't agree with our viewpoint.
I can agree with this bit though it's not really relevant in this case.
Another significant antagonist to both transgenders and gays are religious people, though I didn't mention this due to it not being part of the point I was trying to make. And I know plenty of religious people who are well-versed in psychology due to practicing it themselves, and they would wholeheartedly disagree with you on that. But since I don't reflect their opinions myself, I'll stop that in its tracks for the moment.
Actually, the majority of people who argue against anti-trans stuff are not necessarily trans themselves, though some of them naturally are. What they are, however, is liberal, and liberals in general (not all of them) preach about tolerance in addition to being supremely intolerant of those who disagree with them. Note that I am a centrist because I think both sides are riddled with wrongness and hypocrisy, so I'm prone to saying disrespectful things about both of them because they typically don't seem to understand the concept of how life is not black and white like their thinking is.
last edited at Feb 22, 2016 4:14AM
And I know plenty of religious people who are well-versed in psychology due to practicing it themselves, and they would wholeheartedly disagree with you on that. But since I don't reflect their opinions myself, I'll stop that in its tracks for the moment.
Those people are vastly outnumbered for a reason though. Fields of science aren't immune to errors or people who are supposed to be experts in their field yet are still flat out wrong. There's more and more evidence as time goes on that those who are against the current methods of handling transgenderism are simply wrong. There's enough currently that there's no reason at all to believe them or even consider what they have to say on the subject. (Unless they have something that hasn't been repeated a thousand times already though they're still unlikely to have anything to say that's going to prove that the current methods of handling it are wrong.)
Actually, the majority of people who argue against anti-trans stuff are not necessarily trans themselves, though some of them naturally are. What they are, however, is liberal, and liberals in general (not all of them) preach about tolerance in addition to being supremely intolerant of those who disagree with them.
I think you might have partly misread what I was saying. Note that I specified online as I have little personal experience discussing transgenderism with people offline outside my own friends and family. (So I can't speak for offline.) I also specified that it was that way but it's changing. In my experience it's really only been the last year or so that people who aren't transgender have really defended transgender people at all in most places.
What they are, however, is liberal, and liberals in general (not all of them) preach about tolerance in addition to being supremely intolerant of those who disagree with them.
I can't really disagree there, a lot of people who identify as liberal definitely are quite intolerant, but that doesn't really seem very relevant to the conversation to me.
Those people are vastly outnumbered for a reason though. Fields of science aren't immune to errors or people who are supposed to be experts in their field yet are still flat out wrong. There's more and more evidence as time goes on that those who are against the current methods of handling transgenderism are simply wrong. There's enough currently that there's no reason at all to believe them or even consider what they have to say on the subject. (Unless they have something that hasn't been repeated a thousand times already though they're still unlikely to have anything to say that's going to prove that the current methods of handling it are wrong.)
Actually, the majority of people who argue against anti-trans stuff are not necessarily trans themselves, though some of them naturally are. What they are, however, is liberal, and liberals in general (not all of them) preach about tolerance in addition to being supremely intolerant of those who disagree with them.
I think you might have partly misread what I was saying. Note that I specified online as I have little personal experience discussing transgenderism with people offline outside my own friends and family. (So I can't speak for offline.) I also specified that it was that way but it's changing. In my experience it's really only been the last year or so that people who aren't transgender have really defended transgender people at all in most places.
What they are, however, is liberal, and liberals in general (not all of them) preach about tolerance in addition to being supremely intolerant of those who disagree with them.
I can't really disagree there, a lot of people who identify as liberal definitely are quite intolerant, but that doesn't really seem very relevant to the conversation to me.
There's evidence that goes both ways, it's just that the people who argue against it are discredited simply for not having the popular opinion. Like what you just did, actually - that was a wonderful example to prove my point, so thanks for making it.
I heard your specification, but my statement referred to both online and IRL people I've interacted with. Typically, the people who argue against anti-trans are almost all liberals, whether they're trans themselves or not. Note that due to aligning views, transgenders typically are liberal themselves, which adds to both our points.
Whether liberals are intolerant or not was the entire point of my first post, actually. The guy I replied to was obviously one by the way he was both defending and attacking simultaneously (and therefore showing both his "tolerance" and intolerance very plainly), and when I said "your type of people have to watch out for this", I was referring to liberals. Though I'll admit the implication would have been hard to catch if you weren't looking for it from the start.
But it's late for me (about 3:30 am), and I need sleep. I'd love to continue this discussion as long as it strays away from attacks to person, but the later I stay up, the harder it'll be for me to be functional tomorrow/later today. Peace for now. May this not devolve into a flame war in my absence.
last edited at Feb 22, 2016 4:31AM
Those people are vastly outnumbered for a reason though. Fields of science aren't immune to errors or people who are supposed to be experts in their field yet are still flat out wrong. There's more and more evidence as time goes on that those who are against the current methods of handling transgenderism are simply wrong. There's enough currently that there's no reason at all to believe them or even consider what they have to say on the subject. (Unless they have something that hasn't been repeated a thousand times already though they're still unlikely to have anything to say that's going to prove that the current methods of handling it are wrong.)
Actually, the majority of people who argue against anti-trans stuff are not necessarily trans themselves, though some of them naturally are. What they are, however, is liberal, and liberals in general (not all of them) preach about tolerance in addition to being supremely intolerant of those who disagree with them.
I think you might have partly misread what I was saying. Note that I specified online as I have little personal experience discussing transgenderism with people offline outside my own friends and family. (So I can't speak for offline.) I also specified that it was that way but it's changing. In my experience it's really only been the last year or so that people who aren't transgender have really defended transgender people at all in most places.
What they are, however, is liberal, and liberals in general (not all of them) preach about tolerance in addition to being supremely intolerant of those who disagree with them.
I can't really disagree there, a lot of people who identify as liberal definitely are quite intolerant, but that doesn't really seem very relevant to the conversation to me.
There's evidence that goes both ways, it's just that the people who argue against it are discredited simply for not having the popular opinion. Like what you just did, actually - that was a wonderful example to prove my point, so thanks for making it.
I heard your specification, but my statement referred to both online and IRL people I've interacted with. Typically, the people who argue against anti-trans are almost all liberals, whether they're trans themselves or not. Note that due to aligning views, transgenders typically are liberal themselves, which adds to both our points.
Whether liberals are intolerant or not was the entire point of my first post, actually. The guy I replied to was obviously one by the way he was both defending and attacking simultaneously (and therefore showing both his "tolerance" and intolerance very plainly), and when I said "your type of people have to watch out for this", I was referring to liberals. Though I'll admit the implication would have been hard to catch if you weren't looking for it from the start.
But it's late for me (about 3:30 am), and I need sleep. I'd love to continue this discussion as long as it strays away from attacks to person, but the later I stay up, the harder it'll be for me to be functional tomorrow/later today. Peace for now. May this not devolve into a flame war in my absence.
Nah, I'm not going to be "tolerant" of people who try to deny my identity and stop me from accessing appropriate medical treatment or legal protections. I have no obligation to tolerate opinions that put me in actual physical danger. I do not have to tolerate the dehumanizing behaviour of other people or their patent disrespect for me as a person.
It's great for you that your neutrality about the rights of trans people lets you feel all smug and intellectually superior but in reality your stance is about as legitimate as being neutral on climate change or evolution. We very obviously exist and people like you are being completely ridiculous in presenting your doubt of our legitimacy as remotely rational. It's prejudice and ignorance plain and simple.