'Chapters 16 & 17: She "came back to fulfill her duty as a mom." She was going to live with her husband and wanted Uta to come with her.'

Right, so at first I thought that she was taking Uta back overseas with her, but obviously not. Yeah, seems like a lame plot device. Disappointing.

Not to mention (implied):

Mom: "I want us to be a family again."

Dad: "Fine--as long as you agree to a divorce first."

I'm not sure why you think she was being honest, nothing we know about her leads us to that. She is playing an angle, maybe trying to improve her bargaining position in the divorce, or protect her image as a mother. She might even have come back simply because her visa expired and the rest is just window dressing.

Her reasons don't have any bearing on the story, and she is clearly not the sort of person who would confide them in others anyway. Not so long ago you were complaining about the story spending too much time on background info.

she said in a previous chapter that she will love kaoru forever although that can be true it simply won't be the case in a couple of years, she can still have these affectionate feelings towards her sister in law but they can't be as intense as they used to be

I especially agree with this part 100 percent. This manga presents these unrequired love feelings as a "death" sentence in a way that it's way too pessimistic regarding people's abilities to move on. But that's not true at all. A happy ending would be Uta moving on and being able to love someone else.
Wasting her life without ever being able to love someone else like that is worse than Kaoru never returning her feelings.

It has only been a little over a year since she realised her feelings, and just months since she confessed, not exactly a lifetime.

Angsty relationships aren't exactly uncommon for teenagers, or particularly concerning. Uta is healthy, she is keeping up with school, and has a good group of friends: she isn't in a bad place at all. She is learning a lot about herself, and about relationships and life - which is basically her job a teenager.

'Chapters 16 & 17: She "came back to fulfill her duty as a mom." She was going to live with her husband and wanted Uta to come with her.'

Right, so at first I thought that she was taking Uta back overseas with her, but obviously not. Yeah, seems like a lame plot device. Disappointing.

Not to mention (implied):

Mom: "I want us to be a family again."

Dad: "Fine--as long as you agree to a divorce first."

I'm not sure why you think she was being honest, nothing we know about her leads us to that. She is playing an angle, maybe trying to improve her bargaining position in the divorce, or protect her image as a mother. She might even have come back simply because her visa expired and the rest is just window dressing.

Her reasons don't have any bearing on the story, and she is clearly not the sort of person who would confide them in others anyway. Not so long ago you were complaining about the story spending too much time on background info.

Excuse me? When did I ever complain that we were given too much information about the characters? I've consistently criticized this story for the exact opposite--that basic information about the characters was being withheld from readers for no discernible reason.

Sure, theoretically the mother may be lying--she may just be out to be a bitch and to boss Uta and her estranged husband around. But what other evidence have we been given for her motivations except what she says?

"Her reasons don't have any bearing on the story." The amount of material in this series that has been defined as having "no bearing on the story" and therefore should be ignored as irrelevant is quite staggering, as are the psychic powers of those select readers who so easily distinguish what has bearing on the "real" story from what doesn't.

Not to mention (implied):

Mom: "I want us to be a family again."

Dad: "Fine--as long as you agree to a divorce first."

I'm not sure why you think she was being honest, nothing we know about her leads us to that. She is playing an angle, maybe trying to improve her bargaining position in the divorce, or protect her image as a mother. She might even have come back simply because her visa expired and the rest is just window dressing.

Her reasons don't have any bearing on the story, and she is clearly not the sort of person who would confide them in others anyway. Not so long ago you were complaining about the story spending too much time on background info.

Excuse me? When did I ever complain that we were given too much information about the characters? I've consistently criticized this story for the exact opposite--that basic information about the characters was being withheld from readers for no discernible reason.

Sure, theoretically the mother may be lying--she may just be out to be a bitch and to boss Uta and her estranged husband around. But what other evidence have we been given for her motivations except what she says?

"Her reasons don't have any bearing on the story." The amount of material in this series that has been defined as having "no bearing on the story" and therefore should be ignored as irrelevant is quite staggering, as are the psychic powers of those select readers who so easily distinguish what has bearing on the "real" story from what doesn't.

I said too much time - you have complained frequently about "lack of focus" when the story has taken time to fill in the history and motivations of characters, and without a context for the reason it would just pushing back your complaint about arbitrary choices one layer with no real change. Why did she become a doctor, why was she friends with Kaoru's mother, why did such a self involved person have children, there is no real ending if you are determined to pick things apart.

As for not telling the truth - try the reactions of the characters that know her - everything Reiichi and Uta have said implies their parents, and especially their mother, are toxic and self-involved. Even Kaoru was worried about Uta going back, did Uta say "Mom isn't that bad", or "give her a chance", no, she said "I've grown up a lot, I can handle her" - not exactly a glowing endorsement.

How many manga have you read where protagonists are transferred between schools "because of their parents' job" no other detail given (promotion, demotion, career change, midlife crisis)? Do you pick those apart too, or just accept the move itself is the relevant part for the plot?

I said too much time - you have complained frequently about "lack of focus" when the story has taken time to fill in the history and motivations of characters,

This is completely false, and an indication of bad-faith argumentation. If in fact the story had been "filling in the history and motivations of the characters," I would be overjoyed. The story instead has wandered around without telling us precisely those things. This series has generated an extensive list of questions about these characters and their past histories that I would have expected any coherently structured story to address, and I've continually been told those "don't matter."

You seem determined to characterize my comments about the poorly motivated or confused plot elements, the presentation of irrelevancies, and (what seems to me to be) ad-hoc story mechanics as mere "picking the story apart," as if there's some masterfully told core story that I'm perversely ignoring in favor of carping about minor details.

Your arguments have certainly convinced me that the story is much better focused if one simply ignores or dismisses much of what is contained in it.

last edited at May 4, 2020 10:13PM

i hate this bitch

Uta: (thinking) Huh, she sure does go along with whatever's easiest, and she's basically screaming for help about that. I should be careful not to give her an out where she just falls back into old patterns.

Uta: (speaking) I think you'll love my brother and be happy living here with him forever!

Maybe I'm just being dense today, but I really don't know what in the hell is going on in that scene.

After the "it's no big deal" part, and through the whole time Kaoru is actually unburdening herself, Uta seems to be leading up to some kind of "go for it--be honest with Reiichi so you can move on with your life" advice crescendo. Then:

"Try to do what you can for now." What does that even mean?

If this were an entirely different kind of series, I'd almost think Uta was saying, "What a relief it wasn't my fault you were suffering--now fuck off with my cheating brother and leave me alone."

That's a bit too much to hope for, though, I'm almost positive.

Honestly, the more this story carries on, the more I feel like Kaoru is a pretty authentic picture of someone who struggles with chronic depression. her inability to cope with change or be proactive, her low self-image, her tendency to shut down when problems crop up...

One of the struggles of depression is that every bad thing is amplified and when they pile up they seem overwhelming. So you encourage people to just focus on the things they can do in the short term to avoid getting overwhelmed. Don't think about running to the far end of the problem, just focus on the next step. I feel like this is what Uta's getting at with "Try to do what you can for now." Just take steps where you can. Build momentum. Get things started. Break the malaise.

I thought they were going to sleep in the bed

Same, sleeping like that can't be good for your back.

Yeah, honestly this. If you're going this far, just ask her to come sleep in the bed with you. It's not really much if any worse than saying "can I lay beside you", and I'm absolutely certain it would be more comfortable for both of them.

last edited at May 5, 2020 12:50PM

Honestly, the more this story carries on, the more I feel like Kaoru is a pretty authentic picture of someone who struggles with chronic depression. her inability to cope with change or be proactive, her low self-image, her tendency to shut down when problems crop up...

One of the struggles of depression is that every bad thing is amplified and when they pile up they seem overwhelming. So you encourage people to just focus on the things they can do in the short term to avoid getting overwhelmed. Don't think about running to the far end of the problem, just focus on the next step. I feel like this is what Uta's getting at with "Try to do what you can for now." Just take steps where you can. Build momentum. Get things started. Break the malaise.

As someone who has read and studied a lot (and I do mean a lot) of autobiographical and fictional comics/graphic novels about trauma and psychological dysfunction, I think this may well be right as far as a diagnosis of Kaoru goes. As stories, those other narratives do tend to place the sufferer and the disease at the center of things--the person's struggle with depression, and other people's (positive or negative) attempts to deal with them are the story.

Casting a high-schooler, one who is in love with the sufferer no less, as the de-facto therapist to a depressive adult as a plot point in what first appeared to be a romance but now seems to be primarily a family melodrama opens up more questions than ever as to what this series thinks it's about--is Kaoru's attitude situational, brought on by her discovery of her husband's possible cheating, or is her inability to deal with that possibility a function of longer-term dysfunction?

And how does this make Uta and her feelings (which is where the story started and spent much of its initial time and energy) anything except a sacrifice to the problems of the adults?

she said in a previous chapter that she will love kaoru forever although that can be true it simply won't be the case in a couple of years, she can still have these affectionate feelings towards her sister in law but they can't be as intense as they used to be

I especially agree with this part 100 percent. This manga presents these unrequired love feelings as a "death" sentence in a way that it's way too pessimistic regarding people's abilities to move on. But that's not true at all. A happy ending would be Uta moving on and being able to love someone else.
Wasting her life without ever being able to love someone else like that is worse than Kaoru never returning her feelings.

For me this a bit tragic atmosphere is just right coz imho that's just how a teen feels when s/he's in love, especially for the first time and it's unrequited. You see no end to this struggle and feeling of emptiness, the world becomes dull — you've been rejected by someone important after all, it's always hard when you're like 16 or what? Also you're the one at fault in destroying family relationship, and it's an impossible pressure on Uta, also coz Japanese seem to be extremely polite and respecful about the tiniest of things when it comes to personal borders and family issues. And tho her feelings will definitely change with time, she can't forsee it right now

Honestly, the more this story carries on, the more I feel like Kaoru is a pretty authentic picture of someone who struggles with chronic depression. her inability to cope with change or be proactive, her low self-image, her tendency to shut down when problems crop up...

One of the struggles of depression is that every bad thing is amplified and when they pile up they seem overwhelming. So you encourage people to just focus on the things they can do in the short term to avoid getting overwhelmed. Don't think about running to the far end of the problem, just focus on the next step. I feel like this is what Uta's getting at with "Try to do what you can for now." Just take steps where you can. Build momentum. Get things started. Break the malaise.

Obligatory: I am not a psychiatrist.

Although I'm aware that depression doesn't really have a hard and fast definition, and there isn't really a hard line between depression and anxiety disorders (plus often co-occur), I'm not sure it is a good fit:

For starters it isn't every little thing piling up - Kaoru's trigger and focus is external and very specific - the problems in her relationship with Reiichi. Furthermore when she addresses her anxiety (eg being comforted by Uta), she has a very rapid and fairly persistent recovery in her mood, seems more like anxiety than a major depressive episode.

As someone who has read and studied a lot (and I do mean a lot) of autobiographical and fictional comics/graphic novels about trauma and psychological dysfunction, I think this may well be right as far as a diagnosis of Kaoru goes. As stories, those other narratives do tend to place the sufferer and the disease at the center of things--the person's struggle with depression, and other people's (positive or negative) attempts to deal with them are the story.

Casting a high-schooler, one who is in love with the sufferer no less, as the de-facto therapist to a depressive adult as a plot point in what first appeared to be a romance but now seems to be primarily a family melodrama opens up more questions than ever as to what this series thinks it's about--is Kaoru's attitude situational, brought on by her discovery of her husband's possible cheating, or is her inability to deal with that possibility a function of longer-term dysfunction?

And how does this make Uta and her feelings (which is where the story started and spent much of its initial time and energy) anything except a sacrifice to the problems of the adults?

Considering, y'know, Japan, most likely the author isn't conscious of the mental illness their character is exhibiting. More likely Kaoru is inspired by either the author's struggles or the struggles of someone they know, and the only way they know how to deal with those problems is with the support of a loved one. Or they know she's depressed and just don't think it would be relatable to most people to talk about it in that context. I am told Japanese perceptions of mental illness are improving, but it's hard to gauge where an individual author with their own lived experiences is going to fall on the awareness scale.

As for what brought on Kaoru's depression, It could be predispositional, or it could be the result of...I mean, Jesus fuck this girl has been through a lot of trauma. Her single parent (do we know what happened to her dad?) not only passed away young, but apparently also did everything she could to make it as traumatic as possible, her best friend stole the guy she'd been in love with her whole life, he finally leaves her to marry her but the circumstances of that change are really clearly sympathy-based. Not only does she have pretty good reason to assume he married her out of pity, he forgets important relationship landmarks, and puts work ahead of her repeatedly, her sister-in-law, her most trusted confidant, confesses to loving her and leaves because it's too painful to be around her, the best friend that stole her first love before is apparently lying to her about meeting with him recently, then, y'know, head trauma....

She didn't seem -too- depressed at the start of the series, she was upset at Reiichi's neglect, but she was working, she had hobbies, she was hanging out with friends...But it's hard to know how much of that would have been a cover for deeper worries. She was definitely a wreck after her mom died.

She was definitely a wreck after her mom died.

No doubt few will now recall that at the start of the series it was Uta who was depicted as the recently damaged and emotionally fragile one. She was characterized as having been a cheerful kid who was traumatized by the divorce of her parents and was just now (at the the start of the series) beginning to come out of her shell. (That was the explanation for her living with Reiichi and Kaoru in the first place, and why Kaoru, and to some extent her brother, were quite solicitous of her.)

There hasn’t been any mention of that business for quite some time, though.

Honestly, the more this story carries on, the more I feel like Kaoru is a pretty authentic picture of someone who struggles with chronic depression. her inability to cope with change or be proactive, her low self-image, her tendency to shut down when problems crop up...

One of the struggles of depression is that every bad thing is amplified and when they pile up they seem overwhelming. So you encourage people to just focus on the things they can do in the short term to avoid getting overwhelmed. Don't think about running to the far end of the problem, just focus on the next step. I feel like this is what Uta's getting at with "Try to do what you can for now." Just take steps where you can. Build momentum. Get things started. Break the malaise.

Obligatory: I am not a psychiatrist.

Nor am I, though I am diagnosed with chronic depression.

Although I'm aware that depression doesn't really have a hard and fast definition, and there isn't really a hard line between depression and anxiety disorders (plus often co-occur), I'm not sure it is a good fit:

For starters it isn't every little thing piling up - Kaoru's trigger and focus is external and very specific - the problems in her relationship with Reiichi. Furthermore when she addresses her anxiety (eg being comforted by Uta), she has a very rapid and fairly persistent recovery in her mood, seems more like anxiety than a major depressive episode.

I believe you're referring to grief rather than anxiety. Anxiety is characterized by nervousness, feelings of panic. Sweating, shakes, feelings of dread or fear. Although there have been moments when Kaoru has had some panic attacks, these have been acute episodes related to specific trauma.

Her overall demeanor is far more indicative of a state of depression. She stares into the distance, casts her eyes down, she has low self-esteem, she uses a lot of self-deprecating language, they specifically reference weight loss when she was living on her own, which indicates loss of appetite.

The low self-esteem is the big indicator that makes me think her problem is a mood disorder rather than just normal trauma response. She is really negative and down on herself all the time.

She was definitely a wreck after her mom died.

No doubt few will now recall that at the start of the series it was Uta who was depicted as the recently damaged and emotionally fragile one. She was characterized as having been a cheerful kid who was traumatized by the divorce of her parents and was just now (at the the start of the series) beginning to come out of her shell. (That was the explanation for her living with Reiichi and Kaoru in the first place, and why Kaoru, and to some extent her brother, were quite solicitous of her.)

There hasn’t been any mention of that business for quite some time, though.

Actually, it came up right before she left. Kaoru was worried about her being on her own with her parents, and Uta expressed that she wouldn't get depressed again because she was looking towards her future and working toward it on her own terms. And then the subsequent stuff has confirmed that although her parents haven't really improved, she's coping better because of this change in her attitude.

(I just re-read that chapter)

Actually, it came up right before she left. Kaoru was worried about her being on her own with her parents, and Uta expressed that she wouldn't get depressed again because she was looking towards her future and working toward it on her own terms.

Yeah, remember back when Uta was looking towards her own future and working toward it on her own terms?

Good times, good times.

(Not that it ever involved giving up her love for Kaoru, nosireebob.)

last edited at May 5, 2020 10:00PM

I believe you're referring to grief rather than anxiety. Anxiety is characterized by nervousness, feelings of panic. Sweating, shakes, feelings of dread or fear. Although there have been moments when Kaoru has had some panic attacks, these have been acute episodes related to specific trauma.

Her overall demeanor is far more indicative of a state of depression. She stares into the distance, casts her eyes down, she has low self-esteem, she uses a lot of self-deprecating language, they specifically reference weight loss when she was living on her own, which indicates loss of appetite.

She is undoubtedly exhibiting depressed mood (aka sadness), being depressed, but that isn't the same thing having depression (as a specific clinical condition). eg grief is explicitly excluded from diagnosis of depression despite having all the symptoms (unless people fail to pull out of it). The early state (including weight loss) Reiichi "rescued" her from seems very likely to be deep grief, exacerbated by her sensitivity to loneliness and having to suddenly support herself (not to mention the very sudden and unexpected nature of the loss, thanks mom!).

Even the recent episode is a lot like grief - she thought she had "lost" Uta, and she was afraid of losing Reiichi (in the short term had lost him to work).

Kaoru's mood rebounds almost instantly when the external cause (loneliness) is relieved, which isn't generally a feature of chronic depression (if only!).

I suppose I brought up anxiety in the sense of (unhealthy) anticipatory fear - her inaction seems to be driven by the fear that her needs are unreasonable and fear she will lose everything if she rocks the boat. Loneliness makes her sad, and chronic loneliness makes her chronically sad, but she doesn't directly ask for company (except Uta) because she is ashamed of her weakness (she hints to Reiichi a lot, but it seems to pass him by).

A quick Wikipedia trawl turns up "Adjustment disorder" (not an exact match, but the sort of thing I was thinking of) which presents with various mixtures of depression and anxiety symptoms but is not considered to be either because it is associated with an external stressor and reverses when the cause is removed or adjusted to (separation anxiety also springs to mind, since her fears are about loss of family).

A quick Wikipedia trawl turns up "Adjustment disorder" (not an exact match, but the sort of thing I was thinking of) which presents with various mixtures of depression and anxiety symptoms but is not considered to be either because it is associated with an external stressor and reverses when the cause is removed or adjusted to (separation anxiety also springs to mind, since her fears are about loss of family).

This seems reasonable, since Kaoru’s dysfunctional episodes are associated with legitimately substantial stressors—the death of her mother, the revelation of Reiichi’s (at minimum) dishonesty and the associated physical injury, the loss of Uta’s companionship, etc.

The overarching problem, and I do think it’s one that affects the storytelling negatively, is the almost uniform dedication of the major characters, with one obvious exception, to a remarkable, even pathological, degree of conflict avoidance:

• starting (chronologically) with whatever the fuck is going on with Reiichi’s repeated failures to “get” Kaoru’s regularly delivered confessions in high school to
• Reiichi’s abortive question about something or other to Uta to
• Kaoru’s abortive attempt to confront Reiichi about seeing him with Risako to
• Kaoru’s failure to “get” Uta’s confession on their trip to
• Risako’s weird end run of (so the interpretation goes) her attraction to Kaoru manifesting itself as stealing away the guy Kaoru is in love with

(And no doubt other examples I’m not thinking of right now.)

Only Uta, the youngest and putatively least mature of the major characters, confronts her major problem and (for a while at least) does something decisive about it.

“Actually doing something” is traditionally one of the bare-bones minimum requirements for a meaningful agent in a narrative, so it’s no wonder that many readers (and of course 100% of the marketing materials for the series) see the story primarily as being Uta’s, however much time and attention the story devotes to other elements.

Hmm, was Uta actually depressed/grieving, or were the others assuming she was because she seemed withdrawn and on edge, but that was actually due to her tension about lusting after Kaoru?

Hmm, was Uta actually depressed/grieving, or were the others assuming she was because she seemed withdrawn and on edge, but that was actually due to her tension about lusting after Kaoru?

I’d have to re-read it to be sure, but my strong impression was:

• Uta and Kaoru were always close; Uta comforted Kaoru even when she was a little kid
• Uta came to live with her brother and sister-in-law in the wake of the divorce
• Uta’s change from her former cheerful self was caused by the divorce
• After living with K & R for a while, Uta came to realize that her feelings for Kaoru were romantic love

I don’t think we were ever given a definitive timeline on all that, though.

Hmm, was Uta actually depressed/grieving, or were the others assuming she was because she seemed withdrawn and on edge, but that was actually due to her tension about lusting after Kaoru?

Uta only realised her romantic feelings at the wedding, a year before the story started. Her "bad times" were when she was with her parents, isolated from Kaoru, and her mood improved when she moved in with Kaoru and Reiichi (we haven't been told the exact timing, but I get the feeling that was significantly before the wedding: Uta has said things got steadily more painful since her realisation, implying there was good times before). Throughout Uta's childhood she had both Reiichi and Kaoru as support, she "lost" Reiichi to university, then a couple of years later "lost" Kaoru when she graduated and her mother died. At the same time Uta's mother got tangled in the professional scandal over Kaoru's mother's death, and probably went from absent/useless to actively negative influence.

Arigatou! Those replies help a lot.

The overarching problem, and I do think it’s one that affects the storytelling negatively, is the almost uniform dedication of the major characters, with one obvious exception, to a remarkable, even pathological, degree of conflict avoidance:

• starting (chronologically) with whatever the fuck is going on with Reiichi’s repeated failures to “get” Kaoru’s regularly delivered confessions in high school to
• Reiichi’s abortive question about something or other to Uta to
• Kaoru’s abortive attempt to confront Reiichi about seeing him with Risako to
• Kaoru’s failure to “get” Uta’s confession on their trip to
• Risako’s weird end run of (so the interpretation goes) her attraction to Kaoru manifesting itself as stealing away the guy Kaoru is in love with

Risako doesn't communicate her intentions, but I'm not sure it can be described as conflict avoidance, more the opposite.

But agree Reiichi and Kaoru a both guilty of much conflict avoidance. Kaoru seems to want to resolve things (she has raised topics with Rei, and got as far as sitting down with Uta), but loses her nerve; Reiichi seems to be just straight up avoiding.

At this point it looks like Kaoru's feelings for Reiichi are entirely rooted in an elementary school crush on her hero onii-chan, while Reiichi may have just married her out of pity/obligation. They both may suspect that if they clear up all the misunderstandings in their marriage there won't be anything left.

I think the abortive Reiichi-Uta conversation was simply that he had noticed she seemed slightly "off" (we know it was due to stress over her feelings for Kaoru), he felt like he should ask if anything was wrong, but he didn't want to actually know if there was, because then he'd have to do something. I think it was there mainly to establish that his emotional avoidance is general, rather than specific to Kaoru (and that Uta's discomfort was noticeable).

Risako doesn't communicate her intentions, but I'm not sure it can be described as conflict avoidance, more the opposite.

Agreed on Risako. The closest thing I've found to describing my perspective by a quick Google search is "Alexithymia". (I'm not a fan of over diagnosing or calling everything a disorder, so I only mean to call attention to the associated behaviors. I'm just looking for some buckets other than the abused ASD spectrum for categorizing folks with trouble expressing themselves emotionally or connecting with others along those lines.) I guess what I was looking for generally is "empathy deficit", but Alexithymia may also encapsulate some of the amoral characterization of some of Risako's behaviors. (The info on psychopathy touches on both of these things -- empathy deficit and amorality -- in depth, but the the rest of the disorder doesn't fit.)

To me, Risako has mental barriers to relating emotionally to others and lacks in skill or ability to gauge emotional weight of her actions. We've seen her confounded at Kaoru's responses and the "severity" of them. You stole her boyfriend, of course she was upset -- the "normal" person thinks. (Again, I don't see it as a disorder but just a neurological difference.)

It's not conflict avoidance when you aren't aware of a "situation" to avoid. :D

On one hand she's blunt, on the other...I don't think she realizes there's something she could say to "clear the air", or perhaps she's been burnt by social situations enough that her defense against the world is to keep information to herself and remain aloof. ...and these are just a bunch of far-reaching thoughts around a side character about whom we know fairly little.

last edited at May 6, 2020 10:35PM

Conflict Avoidance

I unintentionally confused the issue here by conflating the terminology for psychology and for literary interpretation. (This is a common pattern with many of my posts—I’m almost always talking about how stories are made while others are talking about hypothetical human beings.)

In narrative, “conflict” is defined as any time a character has a goal or desire, whether it be big or small, immediate or overarching in terms of the plot.

When in a fluffy SOL series a character is simply trying to get to school on time, that’s a conflict.
And if a mythical hero is trying to get home from the Trojan wars and is being hindered by the god Poseidon, that’s the conflict.

So if Risako is attracted to Kaoru (granting that interpretation for the sake of argument) but innately has a psychological makeup that renders her unable to acknowledge that attraction, even to herself, and she deals with the situation by scarfing up the guy her crush likes, in narrative terms that’s double-plus conflict avoidance (I just made up that term)—instead of moving toward the goal or object of desire (as only Uta has done) she moved away from it.