That was all over the place. Like a drunken rant.

Yeah, those were my thoughts exactly.

edit: I'm not at all surprised some people couldn't follow it. The pages practically felt out of order at times. I know I got some whiplash going from a ramen shop to a flashback, back to the ramen shop, then instantly to a park.

I mean look at how page 18 goes into page 19.

It just doesn't flow smoothly. One moment the flashback is ending and she's crying in the ramen shop, the next moment she's hiding in some playground structure in a park. The only thing we get connecting the scenes is a character telling us she started crying and ran. If we had a panel or two showing her running out of the shop it would have made that transition a lot better.

I liked the art plenty, though. It was very reminiscent of Mira, especially with the main character, and I do love Mira's style.

(And this face had me in stitches.)

last edited at Jul 10, 2020 3:11AM

Is the story telling absolutely terrible or is this just a poor translation, because this was way too convoluted than it needed to be

I don't know what part is so super confusing about this, sure the translation wasn't the best, but overall the story isn't too hard to understand, not to mention there's a handful of people on this forum explaining the situation better for the ones that didn't understand it too well.

If you have any specific suggestions for improvements to the translation, I’m all ears.

This one might be my favorite from this collection, but it does get a little confusing because it isn't clear at first that there's a largely unseen third character involved. The resolution was a little rushed but as always Kuwabara's art is really good at expressing what the characters are feeling. Oh, and the translator mentioned that another group already translated the other two stories. Anyone know where I might be able to find those?

The other two chapters in the anthology are Your Everything (https://dynasty-scans.com/chapters/your_everything, scanlated by Yuri Project) and お前に聴かせたい歌がある (I Have a Song I Want You to Hear, not released yet but I believe Yuri Project is nearing completion on this one).

very odd and convoluted story...

From my understanding, Mikumo had sex with her senpai, but it turned into a one-time thing, because the senpai wasn't into it.
She never really got over that or her.

Mikumo's senpai got married, and both her and Kanon were invited to the ceremony. but Kanon didn't show up...

and in the flashback of Kanon's confession, Mikumo's really scared of getting hurt again, so brushes it aside. now she realizes that was a mistake.

I think that's the rough timeline...

last edited at Jul 10, 2020 2:00PM

That was all over the place. Like a drunken rant.

I agree. I only read this once, but after reading all the comments and getting some insights I probably would read this again.
"Like a drunken rant", maybe we should read this while tipsy/drunk, what better way to understand a drunk's mind than to become one yourself?

That was all over the place. Like a drunken rant.

Yeah, those were my thoughts exactly.

edit: I'm not at all surprised some people couldn't follow it. The pages practically felt out of order at times. I know I got some whiplash going from a ramen shop to a flashback, back to the ramen shop, then instantly to a park.

I mean look at how page 18 goes into page 19.

It just doesn't flow smoothly. One moment the flashback is ending and she's crying in the ramen shop, the next moment she's hiding in some playground structure in a park. The only thing we get connecting the scenes is a character telling us she started crying and ran. If we had a panel or two showing her running out of the shop it would have made that transition a lot better.

I liked the art plenty, though. It was very reminiscent of Mira, especially with the main character, and I do love Mira's style.

(And this face had me in stitches.)

agreed. had to go back and re-read to make sense of the story.

a complete mess but cute overall

welcome yuridor

great closet is dead

heterogoggles must fall

begin the too-long night

I'm writing a fanfic right now, and putting things in the appropriate order is much harder than it was when I was young and in school. so I can't get mad at not understanding this story. Thanks to everyone who understood it and explained it. It's kind of a cool sequence of events now that I get it.

dang i love the art and this is so sweet

Mildly unrelated, but I always find it interesting how natural smoking is still seen in Japan, heck some probably still think it's looks cool to smoke even compared to most Western countries that have (rightfully) stigmatized smoking and are rapidly moving away from it being a mainstream thing.

What? I didn't know this was a thing? In asian countries you still have wannabe cool kids smoking at 15 and a ton of adults smoking everywhere so I didn't know it was unacceptable in the west

I liked the story. Was a bit of a mess, but a fun mess.
Ah, does anyone know where the other two one-shots are? The credits say someone has translated them, but they aren't here nor in MangaDex.

The pacing was (imo) intentional. The senpai rejecting her and her rejecting Kanon being meshed closely is because the former caused the latter - I bet there was a period of time between them, enough for Mikumo to develop at least some feelings for Kanon, but not enough for her to be over the rejection, leading to her running away.

As always, I am firmly on the side of the timid and cowardly person, been there, didn't get anything done, got depressed.

An interesting idea with disappointing and convoluted execution. At least the art is nice.