I would give it up if there was anything else coming out, but from the looks of it the translations of yuri series have gotten thinner as of recent so I have to make due with what I can get and what I'm getting is garbage that I feel needs to be called out.

It's bad writing, plain and simple. There is no subtleness between chapters, characters are making rash decisions based on the smallest suggestions. There is no build up to what is happening, everything is done purely to pad out the series with pointless drama. Even if Mimika and Yuzumori reconcile and get back together what do they get out of it? How does this breakup over a jealous girl's lies progress their relationship? It doesn't, if they make up they are back to square one. It will be several chapters of pointless garbage that does nothing to flesh out the characters.

Sorry that I'm making my disappointment with this series public.

I can sorta understand your disappointment... I also had a mental breakdown when Nanashi no Asterism didn't ended the way I wanted (Grrrr I'm still mad about it)... aham..

But, in my opinion, Yuzumori-san is not "bad writing" (this is subjective). And I have to desagree with the quote: "the translations of yuri series have gotten thinner" because pretty much every day has new releases here in Dynasty. And there is even some chapters that didn't came out here yet but is already out in others sites (Kobayashi-san Chi no Maid Dragon)

last edited at Dec 15, 2017 1:59PM

New Raws came out quickly http://yawaspi.com/yuzumori/comic/036_001.html Ririha is pretty much KO and now the final boss

That look in Mimika's eyes...no "Kodama" will work for her this time

last edited at Dec 17, 2017 4:32PM

New Raws came out quickly http://yawaspi.com/yuzumori/comic/036_001.html Ririha is pretty much KO and now the final boss

Same goes with the translation: https://pastebin.com/0uzLcfKw

But, in my opinion, Yuzumori-san is not "bad writing" (this is subjective).

I don't know how subjective it actually us. Characters are just acting out without reason. Ririha is just spilling everything with literally no trigger for it. And now Yuzumori's forgiveness of her is completely unsubstantial since we have not seen them being friends at any point. There is no show here, only tell. The characters are telling a story within the story that we have no connection to as an audience and we are expected to accept it all. If anything, it's boring and pointless. We don't learn anything new and there is no character progression in the end.

And I have to desagree with the quote: "the translations of yuri series have gotten thinner" because pretty much every day has new releases here in Dynasty. And there is even some chapters that didn't came out here yet but is already out in others sites (Kobayashi-san Chi no Maid Dragon)

Most are fan doujins of other series or one shots. There are less actual series than there used to be. And even Kobayashi-san hasn't released anything in english since early October.

But, in my opinion, Yuzumori-san is not "bad writing" (this is subjective).

I don't know how subjective it actually us. Characters are just acting out without reason. Ririha is just spilling everything with literally no trigger for it. And now Yuzumori's forgiveness of her is completely unsubstantial since we have not seen them being friends at any point. There is no show here, only tell. The characters are telling a story within the story that we have no connection to as an audience and we are expected to accept it all. If anything, it's boring and pointless. We don't learn anything new and there is no character progression in the end.

Those "triggers" you say are not there go as far as chapter 7 goes. Yuzumori's "forgiveness" (if you want to call it this way) is completely understandable if you consider how she regarded Ririha in the past. Ririha's "telling" couldn't possibly be shown since the story here is set at a present time and any representation of it would split the narrative level. And "Show, don't tell" is just a rule. Whilst rules must be known, they need to be declined to each case, and this case doesn't require a showing of Yuzumori and Ririha's past together.

A deeper, retroactive reading will help you see why Ejima Eri makes the choices she makes. I do that (double questioning my opinions) when I think something is wrong - because I feel like my expectations were betrayed, because I didn't see something coming - so that I won't end up accusing the author of "bad writing" just because I'm the one at fault of "bad reading".

last edited at Dec 18, 2017 11:47AM

But, in my opinion, Yuzumori-san is not "bad writing" (this is subjective).

I don't know how subjective it actually us. Characters are just acting out without reason. Ririha is just spilling everything with literally no trigger for it. And now Yuzumori's forgiveness of her is completely unsubstantial since we have not seen them being friends at any point. There is no show here, only tell. The characters are telling a story within the story that we have no connection to as an audience and we are expected to accept it all. If anything, it's boring and pointless. We don't learn anything new and there is no character progression in the end.

Ririha really got away with it easily... But I think Yuzumori got really happy to know that Mimika didn't really meant that... and didn't bother to properly deal with Ririha...

And now it's a love triangle... which means that not only Ririha will stick around but she also gonna be a pain in the ass to Mimika...

And I have to desagree with the quote: "the translations of yuri series have gotten thinner" because pretty much every day has new releases here in Dynasty. And there is even some chapters that didn't came out here yet but is already out in others sites (Kobayashi-san Chi no Maid Dragon)

Most are fan doujins of other series or one shots. There are less actual series than there used to be. And even Kobayashi-san hasn't released anything in english since early October.

I have fun with all those doujins and one-shots, so this didn't really bothers me... Now, about the series... Welp, at least that new series about rap is pretty cute, right...?

last edited at Dec 18, 2017 12:02PM

And "Show, don't tell" is just a rule. Whilst rules must be known, they need to be declined to each case, and this case doesn't require a showing of Yuzumori and Ririha's past together.

About the "show, don't tell" rule... I think there is some good exceptions to this rule... For instance, the movie Halloween 1978 (weird choice but I pick it anyway), there is this speech by Dr. Loomis about Michael Myers:

"I met him, fifteen years ago. I was told there was nothing left; no reason, no conscience, no understanding; and even the most rudimentary sense of life or death, of good or evil, right or wrong. I met this six-year-old child with this blank, pale, emotionless face, and the blackest eyes... the devil's eyes. I spent eight years trying to reach him, and then another seven trying to keep him locked up because I realized that what was living behind that boy's eyes was purely and simply... evil."

(this speech is without a flashback btw)

Michael Myers didn't fully appeared in the screen at the beginning of the movie, the mistery of how this phyco is, and what he can do, is what build up the tension and the atmosphere of the movie. And this speech only reinforces the tention.

Why I said all that? I just think that the "show, don't tell" rule isn't a horrible sin that everyone says to be. It's just my opinion, don't hurt me, I'm a good girl.

Is this rule good in Yuzumori-san? Well... What would be the mystery of why Ririha does what she does if we already know what it is?

No punishment for the loli!? I cannot stand for this! Ririha got off with (literally) a slap on the wrist lol

Is this rule good in Yuzumori-san? Well... What would be the mystery of why Ririha does what she does if we already know what it is?

I'm not against the rule itself, just when it's used like an absolute truth, making readers feel entitled to review author's stories using their "show, don't tell" knowledge only, without differentiating its applications. That said, you're right and your example fits the situation.

We didn't know what Ririha's conflict with Yuzumori was, just that it affected Yuzumori and Mimika's storyline. Ejima Eri shows us that Ririha's a conflict (and she stays true to that in everything she does, that girl is the epitome of conflict), but she (Ejima) never once "tells" what that is. When Ririha confesses, what's happening is Ejima "showing" a character "telling". And it works, it respects the rule in a way that the author never interrupts her "showing" of the events at hand (and she never did since the beginning of the manga). Ejima never "tells" that Ririha's telling her motivations behind her behavior, she shows that. Instead, a flashback that'd make us "see" what Yuzumori and Ririha's relationship was like before would change the structure of the story, which is depicted as a linear timeline, and it'd remove the "subjective" element of Ririha's story. That's why Ririha "tells".

I'm not sure if I'm making myself clear here, but what I'm trying to say is that the author is not telling anything, she's always showing what's going on in the lives of the characters, whether is two of them sitting on a bench (why nobody complained when Shiori "told" Yuzumori how hers and Mimika's friendship was like back when they were little?), whether is one of them telling her own past and how she feels about it (why would Ejima use a flashback now?). Ejima is always showing, and nowhere is written that characters can't tell stories.

last edited at Dec 18, 2017 8:14PM

The fact that Yuzumori didn't realize it shows that she really is too ignorant, immature and even down right stupid to consent to any kind of relationship with Mimika.

You mean she is acting like a 9-10 yo girl? How dare she... Perhaps it's an easy cop-out, but I can apologise characters being immature and stupid most of the times when strong emotions are involved, the younger they are, the easier it is to let this pass.

I could even go further and say that what you just told right there shows that it is actually good writing. How could a 10yo consent or be ready for relationship with a 16yo? I always thought that Mimika being self-aware of the moral conundrums of being in love with a 10yo or asking herself if she is actually a lolicon/pedophile (not a child molester, mind you) was interesting and pretty nice.

Now you can imagine that by making the characters acting erratically shows that they are indeed quite immature, maybe too much for this kind of relationship. Of course, they will go against it because love, but that's why I'm here anyway.

last edited at Dec 19, 2017 7:07AM

I'm not sure if I'm making myself clear here, but what I'm trying to say is that the author is not telling anything, she's always showing what's going on in the lives of the characters, whether is two of them sitting on a bench (why nobody complained when Shiori "told" Yuzumori how hers and Mimika's friendship was like back when they were little?), whether is one of them telling her own past and how she feels about it (why would Ejima use a flashback now?). Ejima is always showing, and nowhere is written that characters can't tell stories.

I understand what you're saying, characters can tell stories as well. When Ririha told Yuzumori about the past, it did not seem forced. It was adequate in the plot.

I could even go further and say that what you just told right there shows that it is actually good writing. How could a 10yo consent or be ready for relationship with a 16yo? I always thought that Mimika being self-aware of the moral conundrums of being in love with a 10yo or asking herself if she is actually a lolicon/pedophile (not a child molester, mind you) was interesting and pretty nice.

I really like this fact. Mimika reflecting about her unusual situation.

But about the "not a child molester"... Mimika got really tempted about Yuzumori... Especially in chapters 4 and 5. She even had to left the room to take a breath at some point. But of course, she is not an idiot, she can tell what is right and what is wrong and she can control herself.

Those "triggers" you say are not there go as far as chapter 7 goes. Yuzumori's "forgiveness" (if you want to call it this way) is completely understandable if you consider how she regarded Ririha in the past. Ririha's "telling" couldn't possibly be shown since the story here is set at a present time and any representation of it would split the narrative level.

Except in chapter 7 has nothing to do with any of it. Just Yuzumori saying she finds other kids boring. That doesn't come close to explaining why she would forgive Ririha so easily. And no, it wouldn't split anything. At any point the author could have shown Yuzumori remembering her past friends while alone in her home. Hell, after Ririha threatened her we should have at least gotten Yuzumori's thoughts on Ririha. But it doesn't, because it wasn't planned from the beginning. It's shoehorned in to pad the story with pointless drama.

And thanks for getting me to reread chapter 7, drives home my point further. Why does Mimika believe Yuzumori stop hanging out with her really good friends over her when she knows that Yuzumori doesn't like hanging out with other kids to begin with?

And "Show, don't tell" is just a rule. Whilst rules must be known, they need to be declined to each case, and this case doesn't require a showing of Yuzumori and Ririha's past together.

Yes it does, without it this whole arc falls apart. Ririha's and Yuzumori's actions look insane without knowing their past history. The line about knowing the true Ririha comes out of absolutely no where and acts like we are supposed to be moved. It especially makes no sense since Ririha has not been hiding a damn thing, she's pretty open to her close friends about how much of a bitch she is.

A deeper, retroactive reading will help you see why Ejima Eri makes the choices she makes. I do that (double questioning my opinions) when I think something is wrong - because I feel like my expectations were betrayed, because I didn't see something coming - so that I won't end up accusing the author of "bad writing" just because I'm the one at fault of "bad reading".

I've reread the series several times, I really liked it up until Ririha was introduced, and I'm sticking to my guns. This is shit tier writing, no build up, moronic characters, and filled to the brim with pointless exposition instead of characters actually doing anything substantial. It's painfully obvious how shoehorned this current arc is, there was no mention or slightest hint of Ririha up until she was introduced. Ejima didn't plan this out from the beginning, it's essentially filler.

last edited at Dec 20, 2017 12:34PM

I've reread the series several times, I really liked it up until Ririha was introduced, and I'm sticking to my guns. This is shit tier writing, no build up, moronic characters, and filled to the brim with pointless exposition instead of characters actually doing anything substantial. It's painfully obvious how shoehorned this current arc is, there was no mention or slightest hint of Ririha up until she was introduced. Ejima didn't plan this out from the beginning, it's essentially filler.

Alright, alright. You are ABSOLUTELY right, this is shit writing.
But I (and a lot of peoples here, i suppose) will keep reading this shitty writing, so can you stop complaining now, please?

This discussion is looking like a ping pong match where neither side lets the ball pass. Lets just wait for this "polemic" arc to pass and see where this story will take us. It will take another chapter or two, I hope.

Edit: Damn it! I wasted my 100th comment! What a pity!
I intended to make a stupid joke about it.
Gonna save it for my 200th comment.

last edited at Dec 20, 2017 1:10PM

I've reread the series several times, I really liked it up until Ririha was introduced, and I'm sticking to my guns. This is shit tier writing, no build up, moronic characters, and filled to the brim with pointless exposition instead of characters actually doing anything substantial. It's painfully obvious how shoehorned this current arc is, there was no mention or slightest hint of Ririha up until she was introduced. Ejima didn't plan this out from the beginning, it's essentially filler.

Alright, alright. You are ABSOLUTELY right, this is shit writing.
But I (and a lot of peoples here, i suppose) will keep reading this shitty writing, so can you stop complaining now, please?

Yeah, because only reading nothing but praises is so much more interesting, right? Can't have any actual criticisms, might cause you to look at the series in a different way.

This discussion is looking like a ping pong match where neither side lets the ball pass.

Soooo, the most exciting kind?

Yeah, because only reading nothing but praises is so much more interesting, right? Can't have any actual criticisms, might cause you to look at the series in a different way.

Only praises? I just complained about Ririha not being punished... And now that I think about it, she got what she wanted... A praise from Yuzumori...

Soooo, the most exciting kind?

At first, it was a really exciting match of ping pong... but then, the match lasted for days and no one scored yet... and now it become pretty damn boring... So you know what? You won! We're all retarded for liking this piece of shit. The author should drink bleach and kill herself for her sins for the mankind. Congrats!

Yeah, because only reading nothing but praises is so much more interesting, right? Can't have any actual criticisms, might cause you to look at the series in a different way.

Also, "different way"? This argument about how Yuzumori is "shit writing" is lasting an eternity...

Is like ping pong without the doki doki

last edited at Dec 20, 2017 2:52PM

Except in chapter 7 has nothing to do with any of it. Just Yuzumori saying she finds other kids boring. That doesn't come close to explaining why she would forgive Ririha so easily. And no, it wouldn't split anything. At any point the author could have shown Yuzumori remembering her past friends while alone in her home.

According to your words, you'd consider "good writing" Ejima Eri drawing down a couple of pages with a flashback or some considerations from Yuzumori on her relationship with a certain Ririha. But, by revealing Yuzumori's past with her friends as an introduction to this arc, the author would've been "telling" us all the information we needed at one time. Instead, we've been given everything to draw "hypothetical, but not far from the truth" conclusions chapter after chapter.

Ejima introduced Yuzumori's and Ririha's story in a subtle way that goes back to chapter 7:

Mimika, "Don't you go and play with your friends?"
Yuzumori, "Ah, sometimes. But it's never much fun playing with other kids from my class."

This is important because it's the first hint of Ririha's existence. No name, no backstory, just a vague image of Yuzumori having friends that she doesn't consider fun.

Hell, after Ririha threatened her we should have at least gotten Yuzumori's thoughts on Ririha.

Quoting Yuzumori, "I don't think it's worth getting too worked up over it while knowing nothing of it". She says it herself, no need to worry. We were (kinda) concerned about the implications of Ririha's kabedon, but Yuzumori, the first person who should be worried, was only quite surprised by that. (Because she never once deemed Ririha somebody capable of threatening anybody.)

And thanks for getting me to reread chapter 7, drives home my point further. Why does Mimika believe Yuzumori stop hanging out with her really good friends over her when she knows that Yuzumori doesn't like hanging out with other kids to begin with?

Whilst at first she didn't think of herself as the reason why Yuzumori's no friends, she does now that one of Yuzumori's friends tells her that they've been trying to reach out to her, but Yuzumori says she has something to do after school. When Mimika asks Yuzumori that, what she gets back proves her that Yuzumori's indeed putting their time together above everything else, even a second chance to friendship.

Yes it does, without it this whole arc falls apart. Ririha's and Yuzumori's actions look insane without knowing their past history. The line about knowing the true Ririha comes out of absolutely no where and acts like we are supposed to be moved. It especially makes no sense since Ririha has not been hiding a damn thing, she's pretty open to her close friends about how much of a bitch she is.

I don't think Ririha's speech moved anybody. At this point, she's exposed too much of herself (defending Yuzumori from bully-Shiori after threatening her) that the only way to save her pride is confessing that she is the mastermind behind their separation. The only thing that was missing having come so far was an answer to all the "why's" instilled in us drop by drop since the day Ririha glared at Yuzumori.

Since we know the true Ririha and she threatened Yuzumori, we were led to believe that that was the personality by which Yuzumori knew her too. Ejima did a really good job in giving us the impression that Ririha was a natural born bitch, taking us exactly where she wanted, where we'd assume that Yuzumori knew her by her "true" personality too, and thus not really the kind of company she'd like to be around.
Ririha's dangerous, Yuzumori knows it, then, why is she not concerned with her? We needed an explanation that made sense with everything else, with Ririha's blushes and Yuzumori's easiness around her even after the threat. I believe we got our answer.

When I say that it's too early to call it bad writing since this is an on-going story, I do that because each chapter brings up new knowledge that allows you to give a meaning to parts that you didn't find relevant before, that didn't make sense if taken out of the bigger picture, but those are all parts that Ejima's placed there with a precise intention.

Edit: I'm really sorry about the previous length of this, guys. I'm stopping it here (the arguing).

last edited at Dec 21, 2017 4:41AM

Okay, enough is too much. All participants in this "bad writing" clusterfuck can just walk away now. You're cluttering up the discussion way too much, and it's at the point where people are complaining about how tedious this back-and-forth ad nauseum stuff is getting. I would tend to agree, this is just plain over the top.

Yeah, because only reading nothing but praises is so much more interesting, right? Can't have any actual criticisms, might cause you to look at the series in a different way.

Criticism is fine, but critcised a same thing over and over again, every damn time when a new chapter was released is not fine
So please, let people read the damn manga and discuss, k?

P/S: This is not discussing, it's an endless arguing that no one want to stop

last edited at Dec 21, 2017 4:32AM

Okay, enough is too much. All participants in this "bad writing" clusterfuck can just walk away now. You're cluttering up the discussion way too much, and it's at the point where people are complaining about how tedious this back-and-forth ad nauseum stuff is getting. I would tend to agree, this is just plain over the top.

Cluttering up the discussion? There is literally only one comment that was posted since the raw and translation for the newest chapter was posted that isn't replying to my post. I'm not spamming, so what's the big deal? If my opinion is unwanted then people wouldn't keep replying every time. Simply ignoring a forum post isn't a hard thing to do. If people don't like the discussion/argument then they don't have to read it. It's like someone asking you guys to stop posting a series they don't like because seeing the title pop up every update annoys them. Unless I am breaking forum rules I don't see why you want to the discussion to end.

Criticism is fine, but critcised a same thing over and over again, every damn time when a new chapter was released is not fine

How the hell is it criticizing the same thing over and over again when I'm criticizing the new chapter that just got released? The argument/discussion will end when people stop replying, the series ends or the forum mods start censoring posts.

P/S: This is not discussing, it's an endless arguing that no one want to stop

dis·cuss: talk about (something) with another person or group of people.

And if no one wants to stop then why should we?

According to your words, you'd consider "good writing" Ejima Eri drawing down a couple of pages with a flashback or some considerations from Yuzumori on her relationship with a certain Ririha. But, by revealing Yuzumori's past with her friends as an introduction to this arc, the author would've been "telling" us all the information we needed at one time. Instead, we've been given everything to draw "hypothetical, but not far from the truth" conclusions chapter after chapter.

How the hell is that telling? That would be showing, it would be showing us with pictures, expressions and past interactions, what we have now is the past being told to us through speech bubbles right after the conflict is over.

We have not been given a damn thing to draw from. Every conclusion came from people knowing the tropes and applying them, because this story doesn't break away from it. The moment Ririha threatened Yuzumori in the bathroom many people were already correctly predicting what was coming, because its the same old trope over and over again, nothing new or interesting.

This is important because it's the first hint of Ririha's existence. No name, no backstory, just a vague image of Yuzumori having friends that she doesn't consider fun

That is the biggest stretch I have seen yet. There isn't even a mention of a specific friend, only that there are indeed other children that attend Yuzumori's school.

Quoting Yuzumori, "I don't think it's worth getting too worked up over it while knowing nothing of it".

And yet absolutely nothing on what Yuzumori thinks of Ririha. Nothing specifically about her personality or their past relationship.

Whilst at first she didn't think of herself as the reason why Yuzumori's no friends, she does now that one of Yuzumori's friends tells her that they've been trying to reach out to her, but Yuzumori says she has something to do after school. When Mimika asks Yuzumori that, what she gets back proves her that Yuzumori's indeed putting their time together above everything else, even a second chance to friendship.

That makes absolutely no sense. Mimika says "she might find it hard getting along with other kids her age..." Mimika already thinks that Yuzumori doesn't have any close friends, she finds this out very early after befriending her. So why does she all the sudden forget? Why does Mimika think that as soon as they met that Yuzumori put her above everything else? Is Mimika really that narcissistic?

I don't think Ririha's speech moved anybody. At this point, she's exposed too much of herself (defending Yuzumori from bully-Shiori after threatening her) that the only way to save her pride is confessing that she is the mastermind behind their separation. The only thing that was missing having come so far was an answer to all the "why's" instilled in us drop by drop since the day Ririha glared at Yuzumori.

I don't even know... again, that's just such a huge stretch... To save her pride after kicking the shit out of a highschooler is to reveal that she ruined Yuzumori's relationship and ruin her own plans? what?

Since we know the true Ririha and she threatened Yuzumori, we were led to believe that that was the personality by which Yuzumori knew her too. Ejima did a really good job in giving us the impression that Ririha was a natural born bitch, taking us exactly where she wanted, where we'd assume that Yuzumori knew her by her "true" personality too, and thus not really the kind of company she'd like to be around.

And nothing has changed since then, Ririha is still just a natural born bitch. That was never hidden from anybody and there is no real personality to be revealed. We have known the real one and never seen Yuzumori interacting with the fake one. That's why all this dialogue about getting the know the real Ririha makes no sense and has little impact.

Ririha's dangerous, Yuzumori knows it, then, why is she not concerned with her? We needed an explanation that made sense with everything else, with Ririha's blushes and Yuzumori's easiness around her even after the threat. I believe we got our answer.

No we didn't since Ririha accomplished her goal. She was dangerous, she was a threat, and Yuzumori was 100% wrong not to be concerned about her.

When I say that it's too early to call it bad writing since this is an on-going story, I do that because each chapter brings up new knowledge that allows you to give a meaning to parts that you didn't find relevant before, that didn't make sense if taken out of the bigger picture, but those are all parts that Ejima's placed there with a precise intention.

That's exactly why it's bad writing, the new knowledge is just told to us. It's not shown and the reveal happens after the conflict. It's like watching a Tarantino movie but never actually seeing the events that lead up to the end, just a paragraph after the opening explaining the character's motivations. Besides, this isn't a mystery manga, we are not following a pair of detectives trying to figure out Ririha's crime and her motivations. And also, there is nothing precise or intentional here. There is absolutely no foreshadowing for this conflict, there is a ton of foreshadowing about Yuzumori's family problems but I suppose that's going to be saved for the ending. But right now this is just padding in order to sell more volumes.

So I'm seeing a lot of conflict in here but the newest chapter I can read is c.26. Am I missing something?